So, there was this boy... {Chapter 1: Rude Awakening}
Chapter 1: Rude Awakening
“Yo! Cleophus!” A voice called, pulling me unwillingly out of a deep sleep. Not only was someone quite rudely waking me, they were calling me by my most hated nickname. It hardly seemed possible it was time to get out of bed. I had only crawled into bed a scant three hours earlier. “Cleo, get your pasty, white girl behind out of that bed!”
“G’way...” I mumbled snuggling deeper into bed, wrapping the comforter around me tighter and pulling an extra pillow over my head. I did not want to get up. I was not going to get up. The day could start without my participation.
“Cleo...” Seamus said frustration edging his voice. That little bit of whininess in his voice was like nails on a chalkboard to me. I was pointedly ignoring him. “Come on. You know that we’ve got to go...”
At this point I advised him that he could go back into his room and do something that was an anatomical impossibility. Or should be. And yet, he persisted. He called my name a few more times saying that I would be sorry if I didn’t get up. I pointedly snorted and scooted over to the other side of the bed. “I’m not getting up.” I mumbled. But it must have sounded like “mmntffngp.”
So maybe it was time for me to get up, but I had a serious problem with getting out of bed when it was still so very, very dark. He said my name a few more times before, apparently giving up. I was quickly returning to sleep. My body was so warm and relaxed; it felt as if I were floating. On the very outer edges of consciousness I heard the door open slowly and somebody shush someone else. In my semi-dream state, I knew I should open my eyes, I knew I should say something, give some indication I was getting up to whoever was in the room, but I just couldn’t move.
Suddenly, my comforter was ripped from my body, the light switched on and a bucket of ice water dumped unceremoniously on my bed. I scrambled for something, anything to cover myself. For whatever reason, I had chosen to sleep in the nude that night. Actually, I knew the exact reason why I had decided to sleep in the altogether. We had gone for a midnight swim last night, which had almost gotten us tossed from the hotel. Apparently, this hotel did not take kindly to us manually removing the cover from the pool. We had tried to be quiet, but really, the four of us are about as quiet as a pack of hyenas on a good day. In fact, there is a hotel chain that has banned us for life from staying there. Honestly, I have no idea how the soda machine ended up in that pool. All I can say is thank heavens it wasn’t plugged in when it did its final swan dive or we would be short Declan.
So, after hotel management had kicked us out of the pool, I had come back to my room and contemplated just falling into bed. But, after careful consideration, I decided I really needed to wash all the chlorine out of my hair, which quickly turned into a very long and satisfying shower. I ended up shaving my legs which were truly in need of attention; I don’t think my legs have been that smooth, well, ever… I used the free scented lotion from the hotel and just slathered my legs. I’m not very girly and things like lotion never get packed. It all felt so decadent and luxurious. So, I found myself standing in my room wrapped in a towel, trying to find something to sleep in. I just felt so warm and clean. I didn’t want to ruin that with clothing. So I had crawled into the soft, cool sheets naked. Isn’t a girl entitled to a little naked sleeping?
“It’s time to get up!!” Finneas yelled as I rolled behind my bed. I cringed at the volume of his voice. I knew the hotel manager was going to get more complaints about us. Luckily, we weren’t going to be in this hotel for very much longer. In fact, we were leaving tonight after the show. But, really, I didn’t want to be asked to leave this morning and to never return, although, not wholly unprecedented.
“Get out!!” I screamed adding to the mounting list of grievances. I hoped that we wouldn’t get blackballed from another hotel chain and not even for destroying a pool and soda machine. I scrambled to pull the wet sheet over me. It was hard to believe only moments ago I had been warm and asleep. The wet sheet raised a rash of goose bumps over my entire body instantly. “You guys are such enormous jerks.”
“Now, if you’d just gotten up when I first came in all of this could’ve been avoided.” Seamus said throwing the comforter at me. I gratefully wrapped it around me. Until that moment none of them had ever seen me in the nude. Really, I think the state of dress, or undress as the case may be, I slept in is a private matter. Most nights found me in ratty sweats and an old soccer jersey, the fact that the one morning they woke me so rudely I was naked was something I would never be able to live down.
“Whatever.” I mumbled. I could not believe they had just done that to me. This called for some serious payback, there was no way I could let this go unpunished. But honestly, I just wasn’t sure what I could do that would be just as mortifying. Really, most of our lives we had traded pranks back and forth. Always trying to one up each other was almost a calling for each of us. My dad used to say that we were the “ministers of mischief.” The older ladies from our neighborhood just called us trouble. I was undisputed neighborhood queen of payback growing up. I hadn’t flexed those muscles in quite some time. This could be fun. “You do realize you have all signed a death wish, don’t you?”
“Hey now,” Declan said quickly, his eyes growing wide. He in particular had felt my wrath many times and the poor boy just never seemed to learn his lesson. “Just to be clear, this was all Sam’s idea, completely. I mean, in total.”
“Oh, really?” I asked, looking at him through slit eyes. I found it very hard to believe Declan and Finneas were blameless in this. But, if it was true then Seamus was going down. “Why would you even tempt fate in that way?”
“Please, I am so not worried.” Seamus said shrugging. Seamus had never pushed me to the point where I felt it necessary to torture him. I must have a lot more patience with him than anyone else. Or else, I found it easier to forgive him. Or harder to be mean to him.
“Well, you probably should be. And you two,” I said pointing at both Declan and Finneas; I watched as their eyes got wider and wider. “Don’t think you are blameless in this. Just because Sam is willing to take all the blame, you will still pay and pay dearly.”
“Hey!” Finneas protested. “We tried to stop him.”
“Oh really?” I asked. I could practically see them sitting in their room rubbing their hands together as they planned how they were going to wake me up. In fact, Finneas was still holding the ice bucket in hand. “So, why are you the one holding the ice bucket?”
“I… uh…” Finneas began stumbling over his words.
“Seriously, we tried to stop him.” Declan protested.
“Obviously not hard enough.”
“Seriously, Finn and I tried to make him stop!” Dec said.
“Hmm, interesting. What happened to “all for one and one for all?” Anyway, get out so I can get dressed, now that I’m up.” I said walking over and opening the door, helpfully indicating the direction they should exit.
“Nope, uh-huh, no can do little lady,” Declan drawled in his best southern boy accent as he lay down on the dry bed. Of course, he is a southern boy, so maybe the drawl wasn’t all a put on. “Once we leave, you’ll just crawl back into bed.”
“Come on,” I whined, flopping down onto the bed next to Declan. “It’s just a radio appearance, why do I even need to be there?”
“Because,” Seamus held up his hand and ticked off each reason on a finger. Seamus is an expert at lists. In fact, my phone is full of lists he thought we might want to incorporate into our daily lives. Lists made and quickly forgotten. “First: You wanted to see what our life was really like on the road. Second: We are paying you to be our assistant. Third: We need you to come with us just in case we need anything. Fourth: It is your fault we are all so tired, because if I remember correctly it was you who had the brilliant idea for a swim at midnight. And fifth: Did I already happen to mention you get paid to be our assistant? Need I go on?”
“But,” I tried to think of a compelling and viable argument. “We’re leaving tonight right after the concert and I have tons of laundry to fold, calls to make and... And... I am so very tired. I need lots and lots more sleep.”
“All valid arguments in the real world, but no good here. It could get ugly if you had more sleep than us and once the bus starts rolling tonight, you can be the first in a bunk.” Finneas reasoned, but really, that is what defines Finn, reasonableness. I rolled over and squinted up at him, man, do I hate to be without my glasses.
“But that is so far away.” I whined.
Declan slid his arms under me and picked me up off the bed. He threw me over his shoulder carrying me like a caveman or maybe a fireman. “Cleo, you’re coming whether you like it or not. Did you want to come dressed like that? I mean, I know this DJ fairly well and I don’t think he’d mind a mostly naked woman in his studio at all.”
“Augh! Put me down! You guys aren’t going to leave me alone, are you?” I was met with three very determined looks as Declan set me down on my feet. “Fine!” I muttered as I grabbed the first things I could find in the laundry basket on the floor. I snagged some clean underwear and a bra out of my suitcase, before I walked into the bathroom. “Give me 5 minutes.”
“Cleo, you can stay out here to get dressed.” Declan said, looking at me all innocence and light. Seamus pitched a pillow at his head for his comment.
“Ha ha!” I laughed as I walked to the bathroom. “I think you’ve seen more than enough of me to last the entirety of your lifetime. Anyway, isn’t it like seeing your sister naked? I mean, I’ve known you since... Well, since before I knew I knew you.”
“Uh, no, I don’t think so.” Finneas said. “Fiona is not built quite like you.”
“Seriously, stop!” Seamus said, apparently the only one who was going to take the moral high road.
“Thank you.” I said walking into the bathroom. Sometimes people surprise you; maybe this was one of those times.
“Anyway, look at your Mom. If Fee follows in either of our mother’s hereditary footsteps, she will never be built like Cleo.” Taylor said in a mock serious voice; then again, maybe not. “Unless, of course, she has some serious surgery.”
Ever since puberty hit, I had been teased mercilessly about the new and exciting shape of my body. Mostly by my brother Thad. At one time, Seamus and I had been the same height with the same build. Then, he shot up and I shot out. When Seamus’ voice went all “Peter Brady” on him, I suddenly found I could no longer wear his shirts, unless I wanted to place a special emphasis on certain endowments.
“Argh!!” I shrieked slamming the bathroom door.
“Guess what guys?” Declan said in a stage whisper, knowing full well I could still hear him. “I know a big secret.”
“What’s that?” Finneas asked.
“Cleophus sleeps in the nude.” Declans voice dropped salaciously.
For a split second there was silence then all three began to laugh hysterically. I could feel my cheeks flushing a furious red. I really didn’t ever want or need the guys I’d known my whole life knowing what I looked like naked. And still, it was on the table. Hopefully, they didn’t get much of a look at me, I don’t want to star in any of their more, shall we say, lusty dreams. I am not any sort of Goddess with a perfect body. Really, I’m not. And I’ve been not only a friend, but also a confidante of all three of them for pretty much most of our lives; so I knew what great guys they were. But, I also know just how sick and twisted they can be. And what completely normal guys they are; good guys sometimes do some questionable things. Even the sweetest guys in the world whack off.
Trying to push those thoughts back, I quickly pulled on the clothing I’d grabbed off the floor; unfortunately, it wouldn’t help me save any face. It’d only prolong it, intensify the torture. If only, I’d grabbed my glasses before deciding this outfit was acceptable. Maybe if I pretended it were a normal outfit, they would never notice. I’d grabbed a lime green bra and panty set my ex-boyfriend had given me and they were showing loud and proud through the too-tight wife beater I had snatched off the floor. I thought I’d grabbed some sweats, but I’d actually grabbed a dark blue pair of Seamus’ boxers. I had snagged the clothes out of the laundry basket of clothes I’d washed the night before. My one and only saving grace was when I’d changed to go swimming last night, I’d left my navy cashmere cardigan on the bathroom floor. I realize the floor is probably not the best place for a cashmere sweater and yet, there it lay in a pile next to the toilet. I buttoned it up over the wife beater.
Boxers and cashmere, what a combination.
I brushed my teeth, ran a comb through my long, curly hair and pulled it back into a sloppy ponytail. I threw the bathroom door open, grabbed some socks out of my suitcase and rummaged through my box of shoes until I found some Keds. I rushed to the bedside table, slid on my glasses and grabbed my watch. “Tada!!” I said twirling for my three almost asleep boys. “Hey, guys! Come on, let’s go!” They stirred lazily and grumbled, but eventually made it upright and out the door of my room.
“Yo! Cleophus!” A voice called, pulling me unwillingly out of a deep sleep. Not only was someone quite rudely waking me, they were calling me by my most hated nickname. It hardly seemed possible it was time to get out of bed. I had only crawled into bed a scant three hours earlier. “Cleo, get your pasty, white girl behind out of that bed!”
“G’way...” I mumbled snuggling deeper into bed, wrapping the comforter around me tighter and pulling an extra pillow over my head. I did not want to get up. I was not going to get up. The day could start without my participation.
“Cleo...” Seamus said frustration edging his voice. That little bit of whininess in his voice was like nails on a chalkboard to me. I was pointedly ignoring him. “Come on. You know that we’ve got to go...”
At this point I advised him that he could go back into his room and do something that was an anatomical impossibility. Or should be. And yet, he persisted. He called my name a few more times saying that I would be sorry if I didn’t get up. I pointedly snorted and scooted over to the other side of the bed. “I’m not getting up.” I mumbled. But it must have sounded like “mmntffngp.”
So maybe it was time for me to get up, but I had a serious problem with getting out of bed when it was still so very, very dark. He said my name a few more times before, apparently giving up. I was quickly returning to sleep. My body was so warm and relaxed; it felt as if I were floating. On the very outer edges of consciousness I heard the door open slowly and somebody shush someone else. In my semi-dream state, I knew I should open my eyes, I knew I should say something, give some indication I was getting up to whoever was in the room, but I just couldn’t move.
Suddenly, my comforter was ripped from my body, the light switched on and a bucket of ice water dumped unceremoniously on my bed. I scrambled for something, anything to cover myself. For whatever reason, I had chosen to sleep in the nude that night. Actually, I knew the exact reason why I had decided to sleep in the altogether. We had gone for a midnight swim last night, which had almost gotten us tossed from the hotel. Apparently, this hotel did not take kindly to us manually removing the cover from the pool. We had tried to be quiet, but really, the four of us are about as quiet as a pack of hyenas on a good day. In fact, there is a hotel chain that has banned us for life from staying there. Honestly, I have no idea how the soda machine ended up in that pool. All I can say is thank heavens it wasn’t plugged in when it did its final swan dive or we would be short Declan.
So, after hotel management had kicked us out of the pool, I had come back to my room and contemplated just falling into bed. But, after careful consideration, I decided I really needed to wash all the chlorine out of my hair, which quickly turned into a very long and satisfying shower. I ended up shaving my legs which were truly in need of attention; I don’t think my legs have been that smooth, well, ever… I used the free scented lotion from the hotel and just slathered my legs. I’m not very girly and things like lotion never get packed. It all felt so decadent and luxurious. So, I found myself standing in my room wrapped in a towel, trying to find something to sleep in. I just felt so warm and clean. I didn’t want to ruin that with clothing. So I had crawled into the soft, cool sheets naked. Isn’t a girl entitled to a little naked sleeping?
“It’s time to get up!!” Finneas yelled as I rolled behind my bed. I cringed at the volume of his voice. I knew the hotel manager was going to get more complaints about us. Luckily, we weren’t going to be in this hotel for very much longer. In fact, we were leaving tonight after the show. But, really, I didn’t want to be asked to leave this morning and to never return, although, not wholly unprecedented.
“Get out!!” I screamed adding to the mounting list of grievances. I hoped that we wouldn’t get blackballed from another hotel chain and not even for destroying a pool and soda machine. I scrambled to pull the wet sheet over me. It was hard to believe only moments ago I had been warm and asleep. The wet sheet raised a rash of goose bumps over my entire body instantly. “You guys are such enormous jerks.”
“Now, if you’d just gotten up when I first came in all of this could’ve been avoided.” Seamus said throwing the comforter at me. I gratefully wrapped it around me. Until that moment none of them had ever seen me in the nude. Really, I think the state of dress, or undress as the case may be, I slept in is a private matter. Most nights found me in ratty sweats and an old soccer jersey, the fact that the one morning they woke me so rudely I was naked was something I would never be able to live down.
“Whatever.” I mumbled. I could not believe they had just done that to me. This called for some serious payback, there was no way I could let this go unpunished. But honestly, I just wasn’t sure what I could do that would be just as mortifying. Really, most of our lives we had traded pranks back and forth. Always trying to one up each other was almost a calling for each of us. My dad used to say that we were the “ministers of mischief.” The older ladies from our neighborhood just called us trouble. I was undisputed neighborhood queen of payback growing up. I hadn’t flexed those muscles in quite some time. This could be fun. “You do realize you have all signed a death wish, don’t you?”
“Hey now,” Declan said quickly, his eyes growing wide. He in particular had felt my wrath many times and the poor boy just never seemed to learn his lesson. “Just to be clear, this was all Sam’s idea, completely. I mean, in total.”
“Oh, really?” I asked, looking at him through slit eyes. I found it very hard to believe Declan and Finneas were blameless in this. But, if it was true then Seamus was going down. “Why would you even tempt fate in that way?”
“Please, I am so not worried.” Seamus said shrugging. Seamus had never pushed me to the point where I felt it necessary to torture him. I must have a lot more patience with him than anyone else. Or else, I found it easier to forgive him. Or harder to be mean to him.
“Well, you probably should be. And you two,” I said pointing at both Declan and Finneas; I watched as their eyes got wider and wider. “Don’t think you are blameless in this. Just because Sam is willing to take all the blame, you will still pay and pay dearly.”
“Hey!” Finneas protested. “We tried to stop him.”
“Oh really?” I asked. I could practically see them sitting in their room rubbing their hands together as they planned how they were going to wake me up. In fact, Finneas was still holding the ice bucket in hand. “So, why are you the one holding the ice bucket?”
“I… uh…” Finneas began stumbling over his words.
“Seriously, we tried to stop him.” Declan protested.
“Obviously not hard enough.”
“Seriously, Finn and I tried to make him stop!” Dec said.
“Hmm, interesting. What happened to “all for one and one for all?” Anyway, get out so I can get dressed, now that I’m up.” I said walking over and opening the door, helpfully indicating the direction they should exit.
“Nope, uh-huh, no can do little lady,” Declan drawled in his best southern boy accent as he lay down on the dry bed. Of course, he is a southern boy, so maybe the drawl wasn’t all a put on. “Once we leave, you’ll just crawl back into bed.”
“Come on,” I whined, flopping down onto the bed next to Declan. “It’s just a radio appearance, why do I even need to be there?”
“Because,” Seamus held up his hand and ticked off each reason on a finger. Seamus is an expert at lists. In fact, my phone is full of lists he thought we might want to incorporate into our daily lives. Lists made and quickly forgotten. “First: You wanted to see what our life was really like on the road. Second: We are paying you to be our assistant. Third: We need you to come with us just in case we need anything. Fourth: It is your fault we are all so tired, because if I remember correctly it was you who had the brilliant idea for a swim at midnight. And fifth: Did I already happen to mention you get paid to be our assistant? Need I go on?”
“But,” I tried to think of a compelling and viable argument. “We’re leaving tonight right after the concert and I have tons of laundry to fold, calls to make and... And... I am so very tired. I need lots and lots more sleep.”
“All valid arguments in the real world, but no good here. It could get ugly if you had more sleep than us and once the bus starts rolling tonight, you can be the first in a bunk.” Finneas reasoned, but really, that is what defines Finn, reasonableness. I rolled over and squinted up at him, man, do I hate to be without my glasses.
“But that is so far away.” I whined.
Declan slid his arms under me and picked me up off the bed. He threw me over his shoulder carrying me like a caveman or maybe a fireman. “Cleo, you’re coming whether you like it or not. Did you want to come dressed like that? I mean, I know this DJ fairly well and I don’t think he’d mind a mostly naked woman in his studio at all.”
“Augh! Put me down! You guys aren’t going to leave me alone, are you?” I was met with three very determined looks as Declan set me down on my feet. “Fine!” I muttered as I grabbed the first things I could find in the laundry basket on the floor. I snagged some clean underwear and a bra out of my suitcase, before I walked into the bathroom. “Give me 5 minutes.”
“Cleo, you can stay out here to get dressed.” Declan said, looking at me all innocence and light. Seamus pitched a pillow at his head for his comment.
“Ha ha!” I laughed as I walked to the bathroom. “I think you’ve seen more than enough of me to last the entirety of your lifetime. Anyway, isn’t it like seeing your sister naked? I mean, I’ve known you since... Well, since before I knew I knew you.”
“Uh, no, I don’t think so.” Finneas said. “Fiona is not built quite like you.”
“Seriously, stop!” Seamus said, apparently the only one who was going to take the moral high road.
“Thank you.” I said walking into the bathroom. Sometimes people surprise you; maybe this was one of those times.
“Anyway, look at your Mom. If Fee follows in either of our mother’s hereditary footsteps, she will never be built like Cleo.” Taylor said in a mock serious voice; then again, maybe not. “Unless, of course, she has some serious surgery.”
Ever since puberty hit, I had been teased mercilessly about the new and exciting shape of my body. Mostly by my brother Thad. At one time, Seamus and I had been the same height with the same build. Then, he shot up and I shot out. When Seamus’ voice went all “Peter Brady” on him, I suddenly found I could no longer wear his shirts, unless I wanted to place a special emphasis on certain endowments.
“Argh!!” I shrieked slamming the bathroom door.
“Guess what guys?” Declan said in a stage whisper, knowing full well I could still hear him. “I know a big secret.”
“What’s that?” Finneas asked.
“Cleophus sleeps in the nude.” Declans voice dropped salaciously.
For a split second there was silence then all three began to laugh hysterically. I could feel my cheeks flushing a furious red. I really didn’t ever want or need the guys I’d known my whole life knowing what I looked like naked. And still, it was on the table. Hopefully, they didn’t get much of a look at me, I don’t want to star in any of their more, shall we say, lusty dreams. I am not any sort of Goddess with a perfect body. Really, I’m not. And I’ve been not only a friend, but also a confidante of all three of them for pretty much most of our lives; so I knew what great guys they were. But, I also know just how sick and twisted they can be. And what completely normal guys they are; good guys sometimes do some questionable things. Even the sweetest guys in the world whack off.
Trying to push those thoughts back, I quickly pulled on the clothing I’d grabbed off the floor; unfortunately, it wouldn’t help me save any face. It’d only prolong it, intensify the torture. If only, I’d grabbed my glasses before deciding this outfit was acceptable. Maybe if I pretended it were a normal outfit, they would never notice. I’d grabbed a lime green bra and panty set my ex-boyfriend had given me and they were showing loud and proud through the too-tight wife beater I had snatched off the floor. I thought I’d grabbed some sweats, but I’d actually grabbed a dark blue pair of Seamus’ boxers. I had snagged the clothes out of the laundry basket of clothes I’d washed the night before. My one and only saving grace was when I’d changed to go swimming last night, I’d left my navy cashmere cardigan on the bathroom floor. I realize the floor is probably not the best place for a cashmere sweater and yet, there it lay in a pile next to the toilet. I buttoned it up over the wife beater.
Boxers and cashmere, what a combination.
I brushed my teeth, ran a comb through my long, curly hair and pulled it back into a sloppy ponytail. I threw the bathroom door open, grabbed some socks out of my suitcase and rummaged through my box of shoes until I found some Keds. I rushed to the bedside table, slid on my glasses and grabbed my watch. “Tada!!” I said twirling for my three almost asleep boys. “Hey, guys! Come on, let’s go!” They stirred lazily and grumbled, but eventually made it upright and out the door of my room.