im writing again, these letters to you...
here are some poems i wrote about 2 weeks ago, click each link to read it... feel free to comment...
-----------------------------------------------------
from the inside
sometimes i feel lost, without thoughts of what to do
wishing i could look into your eyes
but just the thought of you kills
theres something deep inside of me,
that just wont feel right
and no matter what i try to do
it wont come out
im searching for that light at the end of the tunnel
when will it come
and who will be there waiting for me
if i begged you would you be?
where do i go
when nothing feels right
thoughts in my mind
running all nite
cant get to sleep-
ive forgetten how,
this voice in my head
screams out loud,
i know that this isnt right
theres something deep inside of me,
that just wont feel right
and no matter what i try to do
it wont come out
im searching for that light at the end of the tunnel
when will it come
and who will be there waiting for me
if i begged you would you be?
i feel like ive got nothing left to say
the sight of people so lost
every day, just adds to the notion
that life is a game
and i dont have the codes to win this fight
theres something deep inside of me,
that just wont feel right
and no matter what i try to do
it wont come out
im searching for that light at the end of the tunnel
when will it come
and who will be there waiting for me
if i begged you would you be?
release me from this torment
and i will swear
to be yours forever
whenever we get there...
i wont ask for another, thing from you
i just need someone to understand
where it is that im coming from-
with this.
i cant voice my opinion
its too dangerous to try
so ill just let their judgements
float on by
i dont need them
to validate me-
wish i believed it
but i fear that they all make me
what i am
and i dont have a say.
why wont you help me,
beat them today?
theres something deep inside of me,
that just wont feel right
and no matter what i try to do
it wont come out
im searching for that light at the end of the tunnel
when will it come
and who will be there waiting for me
if i begged you would you be?
my indecision will be the destruction of me
somewhere in my heart i still feel guilty
for leaving you when you needed me the most
is this what i get for that?
a hole in my soul that just wont fill
i throw in everything that i can
search for people to make me feel alrite
but they dont know
what theyre getting into
a laugh and a smile
they used to make everything
but now its just empty space
inside of me
and what could fill this void
when i dont know what dug it out
in the first place
running from my troubles always seems the best
but they always catch up to me
when i stop for a rest
this confusion wont fade no matter who i meet-
they cant stop the spinning of my world
it keeps going faster and faster everyday
with me barely hanging on
theres times when i feel i should just let go
and see what happens
but i fear thats what it is that i fear most
a loss of control-
maybe i dont realize i never had it in the first place
ive stumbled all the way through this race, of life
and now here i stand
no turning back
where would i go if i could?
now that ive run and finally stopped
all i can think of is to run again
but what will that do?
im looking for everyone else
to make me better
but what if no one can do it
but me?
i want to spread
my wings and fly away
above the wreckage
that is impending
cause my life cant keep going this way
im too scarred from these battles that ive fought
to make it much father now
i need a rest
and i think im overdue
for just another sight of you
could you do it?
could you make it right?
i surely doubt it
but its worth a try
in my mind youve already defeated all of this for me
but thats just not, reality
so i dont think
i like the real world
it just doesnt suit me
theres something deep inside of me,
that just wont feel right
and no matter what i try to do
it wont come out
im searching for that light at the end of the tunnel
when will it come
and who will be there waiting for me
if i begged you would you be?
please dont worry for me
i want to but i cant give it up
i have to keep on going
even against my will
i just cant stop, so here i go
another show for the world
i must do all i can to make them blind
to the tearing apart of my life
from the inside.
me save myself
how long can things go right before they come crashing down
they havent turned okay yet
im just wondering
what will it take to secure this current state of mind
that it will all be fine, and not to worry because you wont let me
drown in my own sorrows and fears and soak the earth with tears of worry and regret
all of this i bet is just around the next corner
tensed like a lion, carefully awaiting prey
and ready in a second to release back upon me
i need to find the key to keeping up this barrier of positive energy
something that will somehow keep all my fears away from me
and in the night that is lonely and cold
still stand fast for the companionship of myself should somehow be enough
but at this stage in the game, the only thing i see around is you.
and for me it feels enough but in my mind i know that i need myself before i should need any others
why cant i put the faith in me that i put in you
to always see me through and never let me fall
and somehow save me from myself.
someday perhaps ill mean more to myself?
waiting
sometimes i think its the waiting that kills me the most
thats when my mind takes over my heart
and tells me to expect the worst,
i havent the faith left in myself to argue the point
so with each passing minute my fears redouble
and if i dont do something fast
they will consume my heart and give way to the chaos
that is so insistent and always awaiting on the edge of my mind,
i cant let it take over or all may be lost
and now i need to hear your voice so i can prove myself wrong - because if i dont
then i believe it without proving myself right, and
i know it just isnt fair to give up hope in you
just for this one reason but i worry that no matter what i do
without your words to banish these fears i might crumble.
enjoi.
-----------------------------------------------------
from the inside
sometimes i feel lost, without thoughts of what to do
wishing i could look into your eyes
but just the thought of you kills
theres something deep inside of me,
that just wont feel right
and no matter what i try to do
it wont come out
im searching for that light at the end of the tunnel
when will it come
and who will be there waiting for me
if i begged you would you be?
where do i go
when nothing feels right
thoughts in my mind
running all nite
cant get to sleep-
ive forgetten how,
this voice in my head
screams out loud,
i know that this isnt right
theres something deep inside of me,
that just wont feel right
and no matter what i try to do
it wont come out
im searching for that light at the end of the tunnel
when will it come
and who will be there waiting for me
if i begged you would you be?
i feel like ive got nothing left to say
the sight of people so lost
every day, just adds to the notion
that life is a game
and i dont have the codes to win this fight
theres something deep inside of me,
that just wont feel right
and no matter what i try to do
it wont come out
im searching for that light at the end of the tunnel
when will it come
and who will be there waiting for me
if i begged you would you be?
release me from this torment
and i will swear
to be yours forever
whenever we get there...
i wont ask for another, thing from you
i just need someone to understand
where it is that im coming from-
with this.
i cant voice my opinion
its too dangerous to try
so ill just let their judgements
float on by
i dont need them
to validate me-
wish i believed it
but i fear that they all make me
what i am
and i dont have a say.
why wont you help me,
beat them today?
theres something deep inside of me,
that just wont feel right
and no matter what i try to do
it wont come out
im searching for that light at the end of the tunnel
when will it come
and who will be there waiting for me
if i begged you would you be?
my indecision will be the destruction of me
somewhere in my heart i still feel guilty
for leaving you when you needed me the most
is this what i get for that?
a hole in my soul that just wont fill
i throw in everything that i can
search for people to make me feel alrite
but they dont know
what theyre getting into
a laugh and a smile
they used to make everything
but now its just empty space
inside of me
and what could fill this void
when i dont know what dug it out
in the first place
running from my troubles always seems the best
but they always catch up to me
when i stop for a rest
this confusion wont fade no matter who i meet-
they cant stop the spinning of my world
it keeps going faster and faster everyday
with me barely hanging on
theres times when i feel i should just let go
and see what happens
but i fear thats what it is that i fear most
a loss of control-
maybe i dont realize i never had it in the first place
ive stumbled all the way through this race, of life
and now here i stand
no turning back
where would i go if i could?
now that ive run and finally stopped
all i can think of is to run again
but what will that do?
im looking for everyone else
to make me better
but what if no one can do it
but me?
i want to spread
my wings and fly away
above the wreckage
that is impending
cause my life cant keep going this way
im too scarred from these battles that ive fought
to make it much father now
i need a rest
and i think im overdue
for just another sight of you
could you do it?
could you make it right?
i surely doubt it
but its worth a try
in my mind youve already defeated all of this for me
but thats just not, reality
so i dont think
i like the real world
it just doesnt suit me
theres something deep inside of me,
that just wont feel right
and no matter what i try to do
it wont come out
im searching for that light at the end of the tunnel
when will it come
and who will be there waiting for me
if i begged you would you be?
please dont worry for me
i want to but i cant give it up
i have to keep on going
even against my will
i just cant stop, so here i go
another show for the world
i must do all i can to make them blind
to the tearing apart of my life
from the inside.
me save myself
how long can things go right before they come crashing down
they havent turned okay yet
im just wondering
what will it take to secure this current state of mind
that it will all be fine, and not to worry because you wont let me
drown in my own sorrows and fears and soak the earth with tears of worry and regret
all of this i bet is just around the next corner
tensed like a lion, carefully awaiting prey
and ready in a second to release back upon me
i need to find the key to keeping up this barrier of positive energy
something that will somehow keep all my fears away from me
and in the night that is lonely and cold
still stand fast for the companionship of myself should somehow be enough
but at this stage in the game, the only thing i see around is you.
and for me it feels enough but in my mind i know that i need myself before i should need any others
why cant i put the faith in me that i put in you
to always see me through and never let me fall
and somehow save me from myself.
someday perhaps ill mean more to myself?
waiting
sometimes i think its the waiting that kills me the most
thats when my mind takes over my heart
and tells me to expect the worst,
i havent the faith left in myself to argue the point
so with each passing minute my fears redouble
and if i dont do something fast
they will consume my heart and give way to the chaos
that is so insistent and always awaiting on the edge of my mind,
i cant let it take over or all may be lost
and now i need to hear your voice so i can prove myself wrong - because if i dont
then i believe it without proving myself right, and
i know it just isnt fair to give up hope in you
just for this one reason but i worry that no matter what i do
without your words to banish these fears i might crumble.
enjoi.