(no subject)
I think my brother has started taking drugs again. Considering his illness, this is very very very very bad. I am suspicious because I am also a snoop. He went to get dinner and left his mobile phone at work. I guessed his pin code and looked through his messages where I found one asking his friend for pills. I guess that wouldn't be an off chance of him taking drugs, it pretty much means he IS taking drugs. The very next message was something like "don't worry it's cool, will get it off your mate from last weekend instead."
I'm at the point right now where I'm half worried, and half 'so angry i could kill him' . I'm toying with the idea of telling my mum because something needs to be done. He will have another psychosis if he continues to take drugs. What I don't understand is how he can be so fucking stupid, and so fucking weak. I can't even hold back the language because I'm so mad. If not for himself, he should abstain from drugs for oursake. WWWWWEEEEEEEEEE are the ones that end up supporting him, not is deadbeat fuckhead drug fucked friends. We are the ones that have to reassure him that the entire world is not out to get him. THAT IS WHAT WE HAVE TO FUCKING DO BECAUSE WE ARE HIS FAMILY AND HE DOESN'T CARE BECAUSE HE IS A SELFISH, WEAK PIECE OF SHIT AND IT'D BE BETTER IF HE FUCKED RIGHT OFF.
This is how angry I am. What the hell do I do with this information? I don't say anything and he has another psychotic episode and I die of guilt. I do say something, he'll know I snooped through his phone and will be mad at me for a long time. Not only that, my mum will worry and cry and freak out and my dad will completely detach himself from the situation because he is beginning to think of my brother as a lost cause.
So the question remains.... what the hell do i do?
I'm at the point right now where I'm half worried, and half 'so angry i could kill him' . I'm toying with the idea of telling my mum because something needs to be done. He will have another psychosis if he continues to take drugs. What I don't understand is how he can be so fucking stupid, and so fucking weak. I can't even hold back the language because I'm so mad. If not for himself, he should abstain from drugs for oursake. WWWWWEEEEEEEEEE are the ones that end up supporting him, not is deadbeat fuckhead drug fucked friends. We are the ones that have to reassure him that the entire world is not out to get him. THAT IS WHAT WE HAVE TO FUCKING DO BECAUSE WE ARE HIS FAMILY AND HE DOESN'T CARE BECAUSE HE IS A SELFISH, WEAK PIECE OF SHIT AND IT'D BE BETTER IF HE FUCKED RIGHT OFF.
This is how angry I am. What the hell do I do with this information? I don't say anything and he has another psychotic episode and I die of guilt. I do say something, he'll know I snooped through his phone and will be mad at me for a long time. Not only that, my mum will worry and cry and freak out and my dad will completely detach himself from the situation because he is beginning to think of my brother as a lost cause.
So the question remains.... what the hell do i do?