(no subject)
i stopped being weak and, even though i love him to death and i know he loves me, i broke up with my bear tonight. we'll always be really good friends, but i no longer believe we were meant to be...atleast not any time soon. it went well.
a weight has been lifted. don't get me wrong...i love him with everything i am and he's one of the best things that has ever happened to me...i don't regret one second. but when you're with someone and you constantly feel like you're not meant to be anymore...nothing seems right.
i'm single and i can focus on me for once. i can stop worrying...do things for myself. i'm not looking...at all. i have school coming up...and i work a lot. i want to just live...and when he comes i'm gonna take it way slow. despite the tail end of things...bear has set standards...he's made me realize what i'm really worth and i know what it means to be loved.
he apologized for all the things he knows i've been hurting over...he knows things have changed...he knows he's going through a selfish phase. i've been there for him through all of this...and after a year of being the only person who has really been there...he knows i just can't do it anymore. no way do i hate him for this...i'm just sorry i couldn't pull him out of this. but everything happens for a reason and people change and grow when they're meant to. he does have a right to focus on him...and i know things would be different if steph wouldn't have ruined him. i'm glad i could show him a love that he's never had before...that will never change :)
well thats that...single me and one more person to call a best friend :) after tomorrow's short lil shift i have 5 days off. my birthday is on friday...my best friend will be here and i will spend the weekend with the people i love. my hair looks great...i love it. i bought myself a present today...my new camera...so everyone get ready for major photoshoots and a lot more piccie updates! my grandma gets to go home on saturday. rain boots are the coolest. i'm gonna have 30 new cds soon hehe. i love my music.
k anyways...i'm happy...i hope everyone is doing good!
thats all...night night!
a weight has been lifted. don't get me wrong...i love him with everything i am and he's one of the best things that has ever happened to me...i don't regret one second. but when you're with someone and you constantly feel like you're not meant to be anymore...nothing seems right.
i'm single and i can focus on me for once. i can stop worrying...do things for myself. i'm not looking...at all. i have school coming up...and i work a lot. i want to just live...and when he comes i'm gonna take it way slow. despite the tail end of things...bear has set standards...he's made me realize what i'm really worth and i know what it means to be loved.
he apologized for all the things he knows i've been hurting over...he knows things have changed...he knows he's going through a selfish phase. i've been there for him through all of this...and after a year of being the only person who has really been there...he knows i just can't do it anymore. no way do i hate him for this...i'm just sorry i couldn't pull him out of this. but everything happens for a reason and people change and grow when they're meant to. he does have a right to focus on him...and i know things would be different if steph wouldn't have ruined him. i'm glad i could show him a love that he's never had before...that will never change :)
well thats that...single me and one more person to call a best friend :) after tomorrow's short lil shift i have 5 days off. my birthday is on friday...my best friend will be here and i will spend the weekend with the people i love. my hair looks great...i love it. i bought myself a present today...my new camera...so everyone get ready for major photoshoots and a lot more piccie updates! my grandma gets to go home on saturday. rain boots are the coolest. i'm gonna have 30 new cds soon hehe. i love my music.
k anyways...i'm happy...i hope everyone is doing good!
thats all...night night!