what's an extended network, anyway?
why does sleep still exist? they say that sleep is the cousin of death, and it's true if you think about it. it's weird to think that 8 hours out of the day, give or take, we do absolutely nothing productive. we just lay there....lifeless...with a stupid look on our face, mouth open, drool, sprawled across a bed dreaming of a better place. i'm not stupid, i know as humans we need sleep to function properly. i'm not arguing that it isn't a necessity. but i mean, you would think that considering this day and age, with the technology and vast knowledge in the medical field, we'd be able to come up with some sort of pill or drink that provides our body with all rest that an 8 hour sleep gives us, without actually having to hit the pillow. kids, stay away from drugs.
3 things everyone should keep in the center console of their car.
-hand sanitizer
-condoms
-a bag of jelly beans.
i'm starting to become a huge fan of lists of 3. how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
as much as i hate to admit it, being a drummer myself, car insurance rates should be a lot higher for percussionists. you see, i have this nasty habit of drumming on my steering wheel while driving. and to be completely honest, it's probably my worst habit, with nail biting in a close second and poor sleeping habits. i crown it as the worst because it will undoubtedly be the death of me, whereas nail biting only makes it impossible for me to pick up a dime if i were to drop it. i believe drumming on my steering wheel will bring me to my demise because, for example, i'll be driving on a windy road, like the patterson pass or an icy road up to tahoe, and if it came to the decision of having complete control over my car or missing a beat to a song with an intense bar of drumming, my safety would take the back seat, so to speak. i'd end up hitting a tree or driving off the road and tell myself "hey, at least i nailed that drum role." i have no idea how insurance companies would ever sucker a person into admitting they were a drummer, though.
i'm so glad that mtv show "24/7" was canceled. remember that little piece of shit copy-cat idea of a show they had for a few episodes? it was another shitty reality-based show based off of a group of friends, consisting of an actor, a musician, a promoter, etcetera, etcetera. a blatant rip-off of my favorite show entourage. any show that tries to duplicate entourage should be canceled. or better yet, never pitched in the first place. who's down for an entourage party soon? i'll bring the corona, you bring the meat. i need to catch up.
next time you're at the night club, order a 'ruin me russian'.
commercials. i was just talking to keeley about commercials and about how much they're hated. i told her someone should invent a channel that shows nothing but commercials. all the time. like an infinite loop. but i don't want anybody else knowing about that channel. that way i can trick my friends when we're all watching television together. i wonder how long it'd take for them to notice.
commercials ruin a lot of really good songs. i heard a new young pony club song on an internet commercial, a joshua radin song on a JCPenny's commercial, and huddle formation by the go! team on a Volts wagon commercial. i feel stupid bumping that shit in my car now. like i'm in T.V land.
boys and girls, i made a terrible mistake. i hopped in my car about a half hour ago to fetch me some ice cream from the store. they didn't have my usual favorite, m&m's mint with chocolate fudge, so i decided to give the m&m's cookie dough flavor a whirl, and i'm not happy with my choice. like you give a shit.
so around a month ago, i was talking on the phone with kelly. this was before i inexplicably damaged my phone making it unable to play any sounds, including the voice of whoever calls on the receiving end. meagen just tried calling...sorry darling, i couldn't hear you. there goes another phone down the drain. time to claim insurance yet again. argh. anyhoo! so back to my story. i was talking to kelly. you know, normal conversation. and i go "so what do you do for fun?" and she says back "what, did you run out of interesting things to talk about?" i said "huh?" all confused. and she says "i read your blog. you mention that that's one of the questions you use when you run out of things to talk about?" i started laughing like a fat kid being tickled in the stomach with a feather. and it wasn't even like that. i was genuinely interested in what she does for fun out in palo alto. my blog got me caught up, so i'm never dispensing advice ever. okay, i lied.
who's a fan of zombie movies? i'm a fan. i like the concept of people rising from the dead only to feast on human brains. and i like how they go "braiiinnnssss, braaiinnsss." it's a well-balanced mix of terror and humor. like, the perfect balance. but my only objection is how come they never use the word "ZOMBIE" in zombie films? is it a faux pas for them to mention that word in the flm? it's like "president, what are those things?" and then he's like "we...don't...know. they're dead but alive." i'd be like "dooder, they're fucking zombies. shoot them in the head." it always takes them a real long time to figure that mystery out, as well.
people tend to love the 80's. personally, i find it to be a very interesting decade. the style, the cars, the music videos, music in general, etc. they all made a huge effort to look new, fresh and futuristic. like neon clothes, spandex, snap bracelets, sweatbands, crazy flashing lights. from the rise of synth-pop and dancey retro to songs about robots. reflecting on it now, everything just looks silly. look at the 60's and 70's. there's nothing funny about those decades. freaking 80's...the decade that brought us aids, ecstacy, reebok pumps and speak & spell's. the girls looked ridiculous, too. i'd hate the 80's if the music and films weren't so fucking good. ain't nothing like the cars greatest hits or 80's teen comedy. they're re-making teen wolf, by the way. tom welling is casted to be in it, and this time around the teenwolf is a chick. she bangs some dude at a party and gives him rabies.
on a much more serious and less amusing note, someone stole tori's purse at a party last night. and it reminded me of the time janice's car was broken into and stolen. the will to shoot some people in the middle of their fat face is starting to grow. do they realize the repercussions of such acts? I.D's, bank cards, money, etc. all of that stuff is so valuable and a pain in the fucking ass to deal with if stolen. good job, guy. you stole enough money to fill your gas tank and buy a slurpee at your favorite shell station. hope it was worth it, jerk off.
lexi dRift S13: there are 198,000,551 people in my network...
then james said:what's an extended network, anyway?
i won't make this one too long, so i'll end it. game over.
-jem
p.s. oh wait
do the twi5t: james
do the twi5t: would you kill me if i paid you man
then james said: no!
then james said: well
then james said: how much?
3 things everyone should keep in the center console of their car.
-hand sanitizer
-condoms
-a bag of jelly beans.
i'm starting to become a huge fan of lists of 3. how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
as much as i hate to admit it, being a drummer myself, car insurance rates should be a lot higher for percussionists. you see, i have this nasty habit of drumming on my steering wheel while driving. and to be completely honest, it's probably my worst habit, with nail biting in a close second and poor sleeping habits. i crown it as the worst because it will undoubtedly be the death of me, whereas nail biting only makes it impossible for me to pick up a dime if i were to drop it. i believe drumming on my steering wheel will bring me to my demise because, for example, i'll be driving on a windy road, like the patterson pass or an icy road up to tahoe, and if it came to the decision of having complete control over my car or missing a beat to a song with an intense bar of drumming, my safety would take the back seat, so to speak. i'd end up hitting a tree or driving off the road and tell myself "hey, at least i nailed that drum role." i have no idea how insurance companies would ever sucker a person into admitting they were a drummer, though.
i'm so glad that mtv show "24/7" was canceled. remember that little piece of shit copy-cat idea of a show they had for a few episodes? it was another shitty reality-based show based off of a group of friends, consisting of an actor, a musician, a promoter, etcetera, etcetera. a blatant rip-off of my favorite show entourage. any show that tries to duplicate entourage should be canceled. or better yet, never pitched in the first place. who's down for an entourage party soon? i'll bring the corona, you bring the meat. i need to catch up.
next time you're at the night club, order a 'ruin me russian'.
commercials. i was just talking to keeley about commercials and about how much they're hated. i told her someone should invent a channel that shows nothing but commercials. all the time. like an infinite loop. but i don't want anybody else knowing about that channel. that way i can trick my friends when we're all watching television together. i wonder how long it'd take for them to notice.
commercials ruin a lot of really good songs. i heard a new young pony club song on an internet commercial, a joshua radin song on a JCPenny's commercial, and huddle formation by the go! team on a Volts wagon commercial. i feel stupid bumping that shit in my car now. like i'm in T.V land.
boys and girls, i made a terrible mistake. i hopped in my car about a half hour ago to fetch me some ice cream from the store. they didn't have my usual favorite, m&m's mint with chocolate fudge, so i decided to give the m&m's cookie dough flavor a whirl, and i'm not happy with my choice. like you give a shit.
so around a month ago, i was talking on the phone with kelly. this was before i inexplicably damaged my phone making it unable to play any sounds, including the voice of whoever calls on the receiving end. meagen just tried calling...sorry darling, i couldn't hear you. there goes another phone down the drain. time to claim insurance yet again. argh. anyhoo! so back to my story. i was talking to kelly. you know, normal conversation. and i go "so what do you do for fun?" and she says back "what, did you run out of interesting things to talk about?" i said "huh?" all confused. and she says "i read your blog. you mention that that's one of the questions you use when you run out of things to talk about?" i started laughing like a fat kid being tickled in the stomach with a feather. and it wasn't even like that. i was genuinely interested in what she does for fun out in palo alto. my blog got me caught up, so i'm never dispensing advice ever. okay, i lied.
who's a fan of zombie movies? i'm a fan. i like the concept of people rising from the dead only to feast on human brains. and i like how they go "braiiinnnssss, braaiinnsss." it's a well-balanced mix of terror and humor. like, the perfect balance. but my only objection is how come they never use the word "ZOMBIE" in zombie films? is it a faux pas for them to mention that word in the flm? it's like "president, what are those things?" and then he's like "we...don't...know. they're dead but alive." i'd be like "dooder, they're fucking zombies. shoot them in the head." it always takes them a real long time to figure that mystery out, as well.
people tend to love the 80's. personally, i find it to be a very interesting decade. the style, the cars, the music videos, music in general, etc. they all made a huge effort to look new, fresh and futuristic. like neon clothes, spandex, snap bracelets, sweatbands, crazy flashing lights. from the rise of synth-pop and dancey retro to songs about robots. reflecting on it now, everything just looks silly. look at the 60's and 70's. there's nothing funny about those decades. freaking 80's...the decade that brought us aids, ecstacy, reebok pumps and speak & spell's. the girls looked ridiculous, too. i'd hate the 80's if the music and films weren't so fucking good. ain't nothing like the cars greatest hits or 80's teen comedy. they're re-making teen wolf, by the way. tom welling is casted to be in it, and this time around the teenwolf is a chick. she bangs some dude at a party and gives him rabies.
on a much more serious and less amusing note, someone stole tori's purse at a party last night. and it reminded me of the time janice's car was broken into and stolen. the will to shoot some people in the middle of their fat face is starting to grow. do they realize the repercussions of such acts? I.D's, bank cards, money, etc. all of that stuff is so valuable and a pain in the fucking ass to deal with if stolen. good job, guy. you stole enough money to fill your gas tank and buy a slurpee at your favorite shell station. hope it was worth it, jerk off.
lexi dRift S13: there are 198,000,551 people in my network...
then james said:what's an extended network, anyway?
i won't make this one too long, so i'll end it. game over.
-jem
p.s. oh wait
do the twi5t: james
do the twi5t: would you kill me if i paid you man
then james said: no!
then james said: well
then james said: how much?