take these apples and start to bob.
i cannot come up with a subject line at the moment.
"How Can I Tell You" by Cat Stevens is the best love song ever written. or my favorite, at least.
but "We Belong Together" by Richie Valens is going to be my wedding song. I made this decision when i was just 17, and plan on sticking to it.
I find it super hilarious when people walk funny. Because it's not only something completely and blatantly obvious to the rest of the world, but it's something they can never improve or fix. Possessing a good stride is something one is born with.
People that walk pigeon-toed are screwed.
or the reverse way, sort of like those geeky kids you see running around at disneyland with a Goofy hat from the mickey mouse store, velcro tribal designed sandels with socks and the velcro-straps are over-tightened and tends to curl at the end, with a neon fanny pack with a map of all of the theme parks best attractions. yeah, they're screwed, too.
if i had a funny walk, i'd be the guy that's always sitting at the party. "hey man, be a pal and fetch me a beer from the fridge." so that way my walk wouldn't hate on my game.
but it'd be hard to get the girl you like to come sit next to you. let's face it, the males are typically expected to do all the "work". the clever pick-up line or ice breaker, approaching them. the girl hardly ever approaches the guy. so that could be an obstacle.
a random pet peeve: paying my cell bill
i hate when i go to verizon to pay a cell bill, and there's some being helped before me...usually someone older...and they don't know the first thing about cell phones. so they're asking all of these really idiotic questions about the different types of plans and what not. look, all i wanna do is pay my bill then maybe go catch a milkshake from dairy queen. but now i got this freak in front of me taking forever. then once they decide on a phone, it takes hours to sign the papers and get all set up. i hate paying my cell phone bill.
i was in Subway the other day. you know, the sandwich place. and the guy in front of me was ordering a tuna sandwich, and i swear to god he said "also, when you cut it in half, can you cut it in two pieces, because i'm going to eat one half here and take the other half home." i'm not even kidding. and on top of that, before the sandwich was even finished being made, he said "i'd like the meal deal, also." that's something that you say when you're getting ringed up.
that sort of reminded me of the time when i was in JCPenny's and this guy was trying on two different pairs of shoes, turned to his friend and said "i like these one's more, huh?"
WHAT THE FUCK!
is your friend a mind reader?
his friend responded with "buy them, you're gonna wear them."
hahaha.
if i was ever on that show PIMP MY RIDE, i would not act surprised when they unveil the car at the end. that's what they're getting paid to do. i expect an ugly-ass neon, thunder bolts, flames, mad mike monitors everywhere and an ice cream soda cherry on top machine in the trunk of my car. i would not jump up and down and say "that is hot!" i'd say thanks MTV for pimping my ride, so i can go sell this shit on ebay now, buy my dream drumkit and maybe throw a down payment on a brand new beamer.
dane cook is the lead singer for say anything. i don't care what anyone says. or if he actually started a band, that's exactly what they would sound like. that dude needs a few chill pills. so does tony danza from "who's the boss?" always running around, veins popping out of his neck, yelling across the room, red face, sweat dripping from the forehead.
do the twi5t (12:39:24 AM): shit, if a boy has the decemberists blasting out of there car i'm as good as done
proves my last bulletin right. i speak the truth.
last weeks challenge: lawrence and jerry were a draw. but this weeks challenge is a bit different.
this weeks challenge: battle of the titans; Jaratt Vs. Chad
who will win this week? Phil predicts that Chad will get Jaratt in an embarassing headlock and give him a noogie. but i believe jaratt is the little engine that could. more relentless than a game of tennis against the wall.
do the twi5t (12:41:27 AM): are you almost done mister?
now I am.
like they say while sailing the great sea, "Goodnight, matey. ARR!"
-jem
"How Can I Tell You" by Cat Stevens is the best love song ever written. or my favorite, at least.
but "We Belong Together" by Richie Valens is going to be my wedding song. I made this decision when i was just 17, and plan on sticking to it.
I find it super hilarious when people walk funny. Because it's not only something completely and blatantly obvious to the rest of the world, but it's something they can never improve or fix. Possessing a good stride is something one is born with.
People that walk pigeon-toed are screwed.
or the reverse way, sort of like those geeky kids you see running around at disneyland with a Goofy hat from the mickey mouse store, velcro tribal designed sandels with socks and the velcro-straps are over-tightened and tends to curl at the end, with a neon fanny pack with a map of all of the theme parks best attractions. yeah, they're screwed, too.
if i had a funny walk, i'd be the guy that's always sitting at the party. "hey man, be a pal and fetch me a beer from the fridge." so that way my walk wouldn't hate on my game.
but it'd be hard to get the girl you like to come sit next to you. let's face it, the males are typically expected to do all the "work". the clever pick-up line or ice breaker, approaching them. the girl hardly ever approaches the guy. so that could be an obstacle.
a random pet peeve: paying my cell bill
i hate when i go to verizon to pay a cell bill, and there's some being helped before me...usually someone older...and they don't know the first thing about cell phones. so they're asking all of these really idiotic questions about the different types of plans and what not. look, all i wanna do is pay my bill then maybe go catch a milkshake from dairy queen. but now i got this freak in front of me taking forever. then once they decide on a phone, it takes hours to sign the papers and get all set up. i hate paying my cell phone bill.
i was in Subway the other day. you know, the sandwich place. and the guy in front of me was ordering a tuna sandwich, and i swear to god he said "also, when you cut it in half, can you cut it in two pieces, because i'm going to eat one half here and take the other half home." i'm not even kidding. and on top of that, before the sandwich was even finished being made, he said "i'd like the meal deal, also." that's something that you say when you're getting ringed up.
that sort of reminded me of the time when i was in JCPenny's and this guy was trying on two different pairs of shoes, turned to his friend and said "i like these one's more, huh?"
WHAT THE FUCK!
is your friend a mind reader?
his friend responded with "buy them, you're gonna wear them."
hahaha.
if i was ever on that show PIMP MY RIDE, i would not act surprised when they unveil the car at the end. that's what they're getting paid to do. i expect an ugly-ass neon, thunder bolts, flames, mad mike monitors everywhere and an ice cream soda cherry on top machine in the trunk of my car. i would not jump up and down and say "that is hot!" i'd say thanks MTV for pimping my ride, so i can go sell this shit on ebay now, buy my dream drumkit and maybe throw a down payment on a brand new beamer.
dane cook is the lead singer for say anything. i don't care what anyone says. or if he actually started a band, that's exactly what they would sound like. that dude needs a few chill pills. so does tony danza from "who's the boss?" always running around, veins popping out of his neck, yelling across the room, red face, sweat dripping from the forehead.
do the twi5t (12:39:24 AM): shit, if a boy has the decemberists blasting out of there car i'm as good as done
proves my last bulletin right. i speak the truth.
last weeks challenge: lawrence and jerry were a draw. but this weeks challenge is a bit different.
this weeks challenge: battle of the titans; Jaratt Vs. Chad
who will win this week? Phil predicts that Chad will get Jaratt in an embarassing headlock and give him a noogie. but i believe jaratt is the little engine that could. more relentless than a game of tennis against the wall.
do the twi5t (12:41:27 AM): are you almost done mister?
now I am.
like they say while sailing the great sea, "Goodnight, matey. ARR!"
-jem