Feb 21, 2007 20:07
i can literally feel the alcohol running through my veins in my body and my hands and my upper and lower extremeties. i can actually name all of the arteries and veins it is running through. or like if i had a dead cat in front of me i could.
she takes a drink and then she waits
the alcohol, it permeates
and soon, the cells give way
and it cancels out her day
and i know that it's not a party if it happens every night
pretending there's glamor and candlebra when you're drinking by candlelight
what does it take to get a drink in this place?
what does it take? how long must i wait?
MARIia just walked in front working out at the gym and like she's pretty and skinny and like i'm scared because i think taht she can smell the vodka in here but i hoenstly don't care that much well i do kind of it's just weird becauselike i'm an alcoholic and i'm drunk on hump day and she doesn't drink that much and she's skinny and i need to not eat anymore. i'm gettgin a littl ebetter but maybe that's becase i have a little old or i'm sick or something.
like
alcohol is so weird. if eel like writing a song about it. like you drink it and it tastes so bad but yiou drink it because like you know it's worth it. i wish i was that adament about things liek school in that way like iw ish i could persevere in school the way that i do in alcohol. becuas elike. i dont kow. i suck at schoo.l like justin has like a 3. 5 or higher or something and i'm like dragging with a 3.0 and like that's ridiculous! i should have a much higher grade. it's just because i want to drink and not care. like lately i just don't care, luar! i just wantt o be drunk and be able to not do anything lik eeveryone else. like how are people able to do that.
what the heck. why am i stuck in this stupid hole of a city. i hate cincinnati i don't understand how people like alyssa are like "OH I WANT OT LIVE HERE ALL OF MYA LIFE" like how are peoploe saying that when the world is out there to steee? like rememerb when oyu got into that car accident? i wish somthing like that would happen to me kind of like i wish i could just get into a frekaingautomobile accident in a foreign country because like THATS LIFE like i hate it here in the ghetto. shit. i'm drunk. i just realized that i am like drunk drunk. i ama drunkard. shit. what ma i going to do. i bet the room smells like vodka. i fear that i am kc waldvogle (aka former roommate) and that i cannont control myself and that like i will be drunk at least 75% of the time i am alive and taht i can't handle anything because i am like depressed or have anxiety disorders. whatever. i only have like alittle bit of gatorade left. so just like drink it right? shit. ok. brb