its`z tearing me apart..
i don`t feel good. i need a remedyy.
Stephen && me were on the phone for like a hour last night, ;]
i love that boyy so much.
but it still don`t break our 5 1/2 hours back in January.
i rellie can`t wait til Saturdayy.
Were all going to the mall && AppleBees since we didn`t go Fridayy. After the mall && AppleBees, hes`z takin me out, idk where yet. He won`t tell me. i wanna know lol, i`m bout to tell him where i wanna go, lol. but, FiNNALLYY WE HANG OUT WiTHOUT OTHER PEOPLE. we did once, && that was like on the bus for Boces. that was onlyy 45 minutes [the bus broke down haha] && i told myy friends i wanted it to be onlyy us. but yeah, it was interesting. he cracks me up ahah. he was makin fun of like soo manyy people on the phone. [he hates like all myy friends lmao] but yeah imma ask him to come over Wednesdayy. i don`t know if this is a 'date' i`m not sure, were not dating but idk what the hell to call it.. a hang out?!? if we like each other.. then.. idfk forget it.
this whole week starting tomorrow better rock. i gotta go to the Doctors tomorrow, myy diseases are messing me up again, i`m cryying nonstop for no reason, i`m screaming at nothing, myy brain is fried. [idk if you knew i had epilepsy, ADHD && i`m bipolar] but yeah, Tuesdayy parent teacher confrences, [i`m fucked haha] i`ve been being bitchyy to all myy teachers. theyy hate me. so i hate them. Wednesdayy-Fridayy i got half dayys`z [BOCES is closed] so Wednesdayy imma tryy 2 make plans, Thursdayy i gotta work && Fridayy i don`t wanna go nowhere, i missed wrestling last week, so imma watch it Fridayy. && Saturdayy=amazing hopefullyy && i`ll be out mad late hopefullyy.
Justin Timberlake is in town [damn, he is soo fine && his music is amazing, but i ain`t payyin no 90 bucks to see him. i payyed cheaper for wrestling haah] && just about 90% of the ppl i know are going [even the ppl who don`t like pop music i know, theyy just think he is hot] assholes.. lol but yeah.
you should all listen to What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts. The lyyrics`z to that song describe myy life right now.. i am scared to tell him how i rellie feel about him. he don`t know that i would give myy life for him && how much i honestlyy care about him. no matter how everyyone else don`t see anyything good in him except me, idk what people call me. fuck off, your jealous. he has so much trouble in his life && he just needs someone right now. && i`m the person. i`ve been told.. haha. but yeah. people rellie don`t like him && there like Ang, u deserve so much better then him. idfk what the hell you think. if you were myy real friends, you woulden`t butt in myy relationships. i love him, he loves me. so stayy out. oh yeah, he told me on the phone to sayy this.
'if u have a problem, just tell me. don`t tell Angelica. && if you don`t like me suck on myy junk.'
ok, so last night he asked me this question.
What do you see in me that you like me so much?!?
i said, theres`z a lot of things i see in you. you care about others`z, even know theyy don`t care about you. i can come to you with a problem && you help me out. when i cryy, you alwayys`z have the right things to sayy && help me. your adorable. && i love you.duh.
i wish you all would see the good things about him. idk whyy you hate him so much && think he is soo uglyy.
i`m sorryy but you rellie need to get to know him like i do.
i love that boyy so much. && if you were myy real friend, then you would understand.
ok well now, i`m cold. && imma go wrap myyself up && continue on myy AiM convos`z. CONTiNUE YOUR JOURNEYY! HAVE A GOOD DAYY.
to love someone is nothing.
to be loved byy someone is something.
but to love him && him loving you back is EVERYYTHiNG.
<3