what new friends will the day bring..
memorial day weekend. supposed to be out partyinh most of the time but instead i spent it fighting with steve. doesnt that suck for me. im begining to hate life with a passion. i dont even know why i get up in the morning to follow the same routine i do, everyday. and as soon as school ends its going to be the same shit except maybe ill get a job and maybe ill go to philly to visit my friends. because all my friends are going to philly, yup all two of them. i smoked up this weekend and im very disappointed in myself. i hate myself for it. i havent smoked in over five months somthing i can be proud of, and now its nothing. i want to get fucked up. i fucking hate being sober, as bad as that sounds, but at least when im fucked up shit doesnt bother me so much. this weekend i also found out that my sister is stealing my identity. sucks for me. why the hell would she want to be like me. i havent slept in 3 days because all i can think about is these stupid mother fucking fights i keep having with my boyfriend. he says everything is fine, but i know its not. and i know its only a matter of time before shit ends. today is the first day i havent taken a vicoden in like 3 weeks. my legs hurt. im tierd. im hungry. i miss steve. i miss sandy. i dont want the summer to start. i want school to end. i want things to be okay with me and steve. i want to live a little more than i have been.