As My Present To You I Leave You A Tear And My Blood On The Bathroom Floor
i though you were my safe house. the one place in this fucked up world that i could turn to. as i left my closet of unwanted secrets and finally came out to you i thought thinking about your reaction would be to much to worry about. instead i feel as if you are ashamed. i feel as if you are ashamed of who i am. instead of embracing it you want me to through dirt on top of it. you tell me im not old enough to know who i am. to know if i want to mark myself with marking that mean so much. you tell me im not old enough to express myself through fashion. my fashion. what you dont realize is that i have gone through years. endless dark lonly years. as i sat in the middle of the dark forest without a soul insight i had no choice but to search within. i had nobody elses soul inwhich to inflick my journy upon besides my own. inwhich i did so. for years i searched for who i was. constantly stopping. beliving that i had found that person that everybody calls joshua. and yet once more find out that i was wrong.
in this journy there was no map to the finish line. in all actuality i couldnt even tell you what the finish line looked like. as i searched i saw him there. standing in the dark. looking at me. i would stop and talk to him. i was comfortable with him. but every time i slowly introduced him he would be quicly banshided back into the deeps of my dark lonly soul. he was forbiden. for reasons i cannot see. even after i have swicted my eyes with you.
now that i have finally found the finish line; or what i belive is the finish line,(all though reallity tells me there is no such thing only death will bring an end to this journy). i have realized that i was that man in the shadows to scared to see the light. now that i have found the finish line i love the man in the shadows and i am ready to bring him into the light. but once more you banish him. you tell me not to tell anybody for fear that younger ones in this unit will find out. for fear that people you know will find the flash light need to see.
i am the one that has to start this new journy as the man they call joshua. let it be up to me who i am as i travle alone. as i face the demons in society that i will have to face. all i ask in return is your acceptance. and your trust. trust in me that i am able to finish what is best for me. because i am the only one who will have to face the consiquices that i will creat.
the one that i hate the most will accept me; my only "friend" will disown me. and all i will have to show for it is the cuts on my rist and my bloodly body on the bathroom floor.
is this what you want for this is what you are asking for . . .
in this journy there was no map to the finish line. in all actuality i couldnt even tell you what the finish line looked like. as i searched i saw him there. standing in the dark. looking at me. i would stop and talk to him. i was comfortable with him. but every time i slowly introduced him he would be quicly banshided back into the deeps of my dark lonly soul. he was forbiden. for reasons i cannot see. even after i have swicted my eyes with you.
now that i have finally found the finish line; or what i belive is the finish line,(all though reallity tells me there is no such thing only death will bring an end to this journy). i have realized that i was that man in the shadows to scared to see the light. now that i have found the finish line i love the man in the shadows and i am ready to bring him into the light. but once more you banish him. you tell me not to tell anybody for fear that younger ones in this unit will find out. for fear that people you know will find the flash light need to see.
i am the one that has to start this new journy as the man they call joshua. let it be up to me who i am as i travle alone. as i face the demons in society that i will have to face. all i ask in return is your acceptance. and your trust. trust in me that i am able to finish what is best for me. because i am the only one who will have to face the consiquices that i will creat.
the one that i hate the most will accept me; my only "friend" will disown me. and all i will have to show for it is the cuts on my rist and my bloodly body on the bathroom floor.
is this what you want for this is what you are asking for . . .