Gossip Girl Fic: War and Peace
Title: War and Peace
Author: Cat
Rating: T
Fandom: Gossip Girl
Pairing: Dan/Blair
Summary: 02. Distraction: He tries really hard not to think about Blair and fails miserably.
Spoilers: Up to Damien Darko (4x13) -- diverges after that episode.
Beta: fading_ripples -- for editing and holding my hand throughout this fic even though you know nothing about Gossip Girl!
Dislcaimer: All characters were borrowed for non-lucrative purposes.
Author's Notes: I’ve written in several fandoms before, but never Gossip Girl. I’ve also been watching Gossip Girl as pure brainless entertainment for 3 years without really caring much about who’s dating whom and all that. I did like Chuck and Blair (mostly because Blair’s my favourite character) and enjoyed watching their relationship until he sold her off for his hotel. That completely turned me off their couple. Anyway, I finally noticed the Dan/Blair potential in 3x18 and have been rooting for them ever since. I’m really hoping they turn out to be endgame since more and more people (including myself) are moving from the Chuck/Blair camp to the Dan/Blair one.
Finally, this fic is basically a series of ficlets that sort of tell a story (not in chronological order) about Dan/Blair for about 9-10 months. I found it a fantastic exercise for my first dab into the world of Gossip Girl and Dan/Blair. My beta came up with the 25 random words.
~o~
War and Peace
~o~
01. Strong
Blair Waldorf is nothing if not ambitious. She has always wanted to be on top. She wants to be above everyone else, above their scrutiny, pity and derision. She has promised herself to never put herself in a position of vulnerability, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. With Chuck, her vulnerability has shown a little, but she has been able to hide behind their mutual love for games and schemes.
It so happens that it is something that’s impossible to do with Dan Humphrey. His honesty, integrity, and complete lack of interest in games (he could be persuaded to participate in random schemes) prevent her from hiding her vulnerability. Humphrey forces her to show her vulnerable (weak) side, so she keeps him at arm’s length. Blair Waldorf is not going to doubt herself because of someone like Dan Humprey.
It takes her months to realize that despite exposing more and more of her vulnerability to him, Blair has never felt as strong as she is when Dan is by (and on) her side.
02. Distraction
During the spring semester of his sophomore year, Dan tries to focus on his studies. His internship in the spring isn’t turning out to be exactly what he had been hoping for. He has to do better in school and be prepared to land the best possible internship next year.
He tries really hard not to think about Blair and fails miserably.
03. Pretty
She finds herself fascinated by Dan’s looks. For years he was no more than Brooklyn impersonated, Serena’s version of experimentation. She never really paid attention to his physical appearance (except for his horrible taste in clothes). Of course she did notice that he’s fairly good looking but his other ‘qualities’ (being from Brooklyn, bad taste in clothes, judgmental, self-righteous) took precedence over his good looks.
As she begins to spend more time with him, she notices him more. He doesn’t have the classic boyish good looks Nate possesses and he certainly doesn’t have the sexy and dangerous vibe that Chuck gives off. It’s really hard to pinpoint the kind of looks he has. In the end there’s only one word that comes to mind: pretty.
Blair decides that pretty boys have an irresistible charm to them.
04. Reading
Since Dan’s alternate internship isn’t turning out to be exactly the one he had been hoping for, he doesn’t invest too much time and energy on it. Instead, he spends it reading. A month or so after his internship had started, Blair had been at the loft for some reason he couldn’t really remember now. She had perused through his novels while he had been fixing her a cup of green tea. The next day he had received an email from her with a list of book recommendations. Since that day, Dan has been going through that list one by one. He writes comments in the margins and flags them with a post-it bookmarker before handing the book to Blair. Sometimes she keeps the book (he has seen Gaskell’s North and South on her nightstand) and sometimes she gives it back to him with remarks on his notes. Whenever he gets a book back (sometimes through Serena or Nate, and even once Dorota stopped by his office to drop P.G. Wodehouse’s Thank you, Jeeves), Dan feverously reads her comments to see if she agrees with him or not. He can hear her voice as he reads them. They become his favorite books.
05. Awake
Her internship (on top of her classes) completely drains Blair. One Saturday night while watching Funny Face (not her favorite Audrey Hepburn movie) in her room with Dan, she falls asleep, her head resting on his lap. She only becomes aware of this when she wakes up some time later. The movie has ended and Dan’s watching Saturday Night Live. She can feel him shake as he softly laughs at the jokes. His fingers are lightly running through her hair. It feels comfortable.
She doesn’t move an inch, making sure he doesn’t notice that she’s awake. Blair closes her eyes letting his soft chuckles and gentle fingers lull her back to sleep. She hopes she’ll remember this moment in the morning.
She does.
06. Snow
Blair doesn’t know when and where she and Dan had their first kiss (she finds out months later).
There’s a masquerade ball at the end of March. There’s a reason for it (charity, huge business deal, new drapes in someone’s foyer - he can’t remember) but any concern he would have had for the occasion is trumped by Blair walking in. She’s dressed like what he has always imagined the White Witch from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe to look like with her dark hair and fair skin (her inspiration for her outfit is apparently the late snow fall). She’s breathtakingly beautiful and appears to be just as cold as the White Witch. On the other hand, Dan now knows that Blair may look cold on the outside, but she’s warm on the inside.
He’s mesmerized the second she walks in.
At first he is tempted to walk straight to her and just stand by her side, admiring her beauty for the rest of the evening, but as she animatedly talks to people around her, he sees the advantage of watching her from afar with her unaware that she’s so carefully observed. After an hour or so, she bumps into him and excuses herself in a polite, standoffish manner.
She doesn’t recognize him.
The second Dan understands this, an idea creeps into his mind. It’s the best opportunity he’ll ever get. He takes two long strides to reach her, grabs her arm, turns her around and kisses her.
She is shocked at first, but within seconds she responds to the kiss, opening her mouth to invite him in. Her lips are as soft as they appeared to be and the small sigh she lets out as she opens her mouth is adorable. Their tongues dance together in perfect sync; they should have done this a long time ago. He doesn’t want to end the kiss but he knows he’s already pushing his luck, so with one last small, soft, lingering peck on her lips, he leans back and leaves her. He wants to turn back, look at her, see her reaction, but he’s afraid that somehow he might give himself away. He’s afraid that if she realizes who her mystery kisser is, it might ruin everything.
07. Fear
She still thinks about Chuck from time to time. She wonders how close he really is to Raina or if he will lose Bass Industries. She also wonders how his relationship with Lily is going. Most of all, she wonders if he wonders about her. She seems to be completely off his radar at times; her doing, she knows this. But if she still thinks about him, he must be thinking about her.
So she wonders what he would say or think about what she’s been doing and who she’s been hanging out with. She wonders what he would think about her developing friendship with Humphrey. He’d probably insult him. He’d probably insult her as well for befriending Brooklyn. Not that what he thinks should really matter, but it does. At some point she thought Chuck was the love of her life.
What Blair really wonders about is when she stopped thinking that and that’s what scares her most of all.
08. Pretty accent
It’s springtime in New York and Dan doesn’t remember a time when he was so content. He’s sitting across Blair in a small restaurant not too far from the W Magazine offices. She had agreed to have lunch with him, a rare occurrence since she had started her internship. He had found an internship at jazz and blues periodical (which turned out to be three blocks away from the W Magazine offices) after Epperly fired him. Dan hadn’t regretted what he had done to get Blair’s job back for a second. He had seen her work harder than he had ever worked in his life, thus the reason she rarely took time to have lunch outside the office (Dan usually brought her lunch around noon knowing that she probably wouldn’t eat if he didn’t).
Blair is being incredibly rude and is constantly on the phone while they’re eating together. He doesn’t really mind as he enjoys watching her work so passionately. He had known for several years that there was another side to Blair that she didn’t show to many people, but it was nice to see that side more and more often. She doesn’t apologize when she hangs up the phone after talking to someone. Instead, she resumes their conversation as if they had never been interrupted. After the fifth phone call, he finds her passion less endearing and more irritating. He’s about to tell her exactly what he thinks when her phone rings once again. He is startled when she starts to speak in French. He had forgotten that she’s fluent.
As he listens to the lovely sounds coming out of her mouth, he wonders (with a pang in his heart) if one day he’ll be able to convince her to speak to him in French with that pretty accent of hers.
09. Pregnant
When you have a friend like Blair Waldorf who asks what you want for your birthday (emphasizing that you could have anything you couldn’t afford in a million years), taking her on a Subway ride is not what she had in mind.
Why she agreed to it (and didn’t need that much prying and begging - it’s those damn soulful eyes) at all, Blair has no idea. Nevertheless, there she is, on a Sunday (her only true day off of the week since she’s started her internship at W), walking down the steps to the subway station with Humphrey by her side. When they reach the turnstiles, he hands her a metrocard (he’s prepared) and queues at the longest line. When Blair’s about to make a beeline to a shorter line, Dan grabs her and forces her to stay. When she protests, he explains that as a ‘tourist’, she would take longer than a second to go through the turnstile which would aggravate the more regular subway passengers. She huffs and puffs but remains at the line Dan has chosen for them.
It is only when they are standing on the platform with the subway doors opening in front of them that Blair fully realizes what she’s about to be subjected to. She looks at the people in the wagon, at the dirty walls and floor, at the kid screaming in his mom’s ear and she takes a step back. Dan doesn’t take her distress seriously and pushes her inside. There is one seat available next to a clean, nicely dressed woman (Blair will not stand up all the way to Brooklyn nor will she sit next to a dirty, smelly man), and Blair sits down immediately before anyone has any idea of grabbing the seat for themselves. She can smell the Chanel No 19 the woman is wearing and feels satisfied to have located the prime seat in the wagon. Blair looks up at Dan who’s standing in front of her and a trace of a smile forms on her lips. She’s pretty sure that he sees it and grins at her smugly. She frowns back. She will not give him the satisfaction of thinking that doing this for him isn’t a great sacrifice on her part.
The ride is tolerable until a fairly large crowd comes into their wagon a couple of stations later. A pregnant woman is standing next to Dan and Blair hopes someone gives her their seat. After a few seconds, she looks around desperately, but no one has noticed the pregnant woman. Her eyes go to Dan who looks at her expectedly. She sighs and reluctantly gets up. The pregnant woman smiles at her, grateful for Blair’s courtesy. Blair smiles back (tightly and resentfully). She looks at the pole Dan was holding onto. It looks incredibly dirty. She doesn’t want to touch that thing, but when the train jolts into a start and begins to move, she loses her balance and grabs it instinctively. She immediately feels how dirty it is and winces noticeably.
It is absolutely horrible.
Probably noticing Blair’s reaction to touching the pole, Dan wraps an arm around her and tells her to hold onto him instead. Grateful, she wraps both arms around him tightly so she won’t lose her balance and need to grab that horrible, dirty pole again. As she buries her face in his chest, she can smell his Armani cologne (a gift from Lily or Serena, no doubt). She thinks that it isn’t bad after all as she closes her eyes and lets the motion of the train and scent of Dan’s cologne lull her into a lovely daydream.
10. Shoes
The first time she was wearing red Marc Jacobs shoes. He remembers this because the red popped out from the cold, icy white of the bathroom tiles. He was surprised to find her kneeling in front of the toilet, regurgitating her entire stomach’s content. It had been before they were friends, before they even started to sort of hang out together during the Christmas holidays. He thinks that it must have been around Thanksgiving, when the Van der Bass Humphreys got together with the Waldorfs. She caught him staring at her and explained she had a stomach bug. He never thought any more of it.
The second time she was wearing navy blue Burberry shoes. They were sort of friends then. They had gone to a couple of movies together. They even met up for coffee once in a while, talked about school and about their upcoming internships. A morning coffee laced with debate on Tolstoy v. Dostoyevsky (Dan still doesn’t understand how anyone could rate Tolstoy over Dostoyevsky) had been prolonged to lunch. She had been gone to the bathroom for quite some time when Dan had decided to investigate. He had hesitantly opened the door of the ladies room and heard the last bout of vomiting. He had quickly closed the door and had gone back to their table. When she had come back two minutes later, his eyes had gone down, trying to avoid her stare. He had watched as her Burberry shoes clicked on the wooden floor, elegantly following her graceful steps. When she had sat down, she had eyed Dan suspiciously, and then had smiled explaining her long absence by saying that she was feeling really nervous about her internship. She didn’t mention the vomiting but he had assumed that her nervousness had been the reason for it and she had felt too proud to share her weakness with him.
The third time she was wearing green Louboutin shoes, matching the white and green sundress she was wearing. It had happened a good four months after the time in the café. They were all done with their internships and were ready to welcome summer with open arms. Blair and Serena had planned a garden party - although there were no gardens to speak of - instead, there were plants and flowers everywhere in the penthouse, simulating a garden. Dan had thought the party was a pretty cool idea at the time. There were cocktails flowing all over the place so Dan hadn’t thought twice when he found her kneeling by the toilet once again. This time, though, he sat next to her, held her hair and rubbed her back as she emptied her stomach. When it was over, she smiled at him, wiping her mouth, and simply said “thanks, Humphrey” before brushing her teeth. He had shrugged and left the bathroom. Still, something started to nag him when he saw Blair not even ten minutes later all smiles and excitement as if moments earlier she hadn’t puked her guts out from drinking too much.
And this is the fourth time. She is wearing off white Givenchy (yes, he does know who Givenchy is) shoes. The shoes almost match her skin perfectly. This time, though, the veil is lifted. They were spending the incredibly hot July evening watching Gone with the Wind and eating pizza and ice cream at the loft in Brooklyn (Blair claims it’s cooler in Brooklyn than Manhattan). Blair had just excused herself right before the bridge kissing scene between Rhett and Scarlett. Dan followed her, suspicious about why she would willingly miss her favorite scene. That’s when he sees her shoving two fingers down her throat and forcing herself to purge. He swallows the horror he feels, sits down next to her, holds her hair and rubs her back like he had done the previous time. Blair jumps when Dan touches her but keeps on purging. When it’s all over she flushes the toilet, but doesn’t move an inch. Dan tilts his head so he can look at her. Tears are streaming down her face. He grabs a tissue and cleans her up. She avoids his eyes, looks everywhere but at his face. He knows she’s ashamed and refuses to let her feel this way. He never wants Blair to feel ashamed around him. So he does the only thing he can think of: he takes her hand and helps her get up. He leads her to his room, takes off her shoes and clothes, then lays her down on his bed.
Blair closes her eyes (probably trying to avoid looking at him) as he sits down next to her. She turns on her side (toward him, which he thinks is a sign that she trusts him), tucking her hands under his pillow. Dan runs his fingers in her hair while she falls asleep. As he stares at the shoes on his bedroom floor, lying in disarray (something that Blair would have never accepted had she been in her right mind), he thinks that he’ll do anything to help her fight her bulimia.
11. Narcissistic
When Blair gets the P.G. Wodehouse book from Dan, she eagerly anticipates going to bed that night and reading Dan’s margins before falling asleep. She hopes he understands the tongue-in-cheek allusion she made about their relationship when she recommended the book. Jeeves, the servant (Dan), and Wooster, the rich socialite (her), scheming together story after story. She didn’t invent scheming; P.G. Wodehouse did. She is merely following what was established before she rose into the world.
That night when she reads Dan’s comments, she is relieved to see that he does understand the humor behind this book recommendation. He even takes sequences, actions and dialogues exclaiming that it’s him, her or the two of them. She doesn’t add much, just ‘you would definitely say that’ or ‘that’s never going to happen’ and ‘doesn’t so and so remind you of Serena/Nate/Chuck, etc.?’.
He doesn’t comment about it, and neither does she, but she hopes that he also sees how loyal and faithful Jeeves and Wooster are to each other and hopefully she and Dan mirror them.
However, she does notice the book on Dan’s nightstand just like he probably noticed Elizabeth Gaskell’s North and South on hers.
He never comments on never getting the Gaskell novel back, which makes her wonder if he knows. She had tried to read in between the margin notes he had written, to see if he saw how alike Margaret Hale and John Thornton they are. They were both from different worlds and stubborn about their lifestyles and principles, strongly believing their upbringing superior to the other’s only to realize in the end that they were not that different.
John Thornton falls in love with Margaret Hale halfway through the novel.
There is no Serena Van der Woodsen in North and South.
12. Relaxing
If a year ago, you would have told Daniel Humphrey that he would find a hot Saturday afternoon spent with Blair Waldorf relaxing, he would have thought you were crazy.
Blair had convinced him to spend the weekend in the Hamptons with her, Serena, and Nate. He had been more than reluctant when she first proposed the idea to him.
First, the Hamptons are the epitome of wealth, snobbery and upper-class - not the most comfortable environment for him.
Second, as the lines between friendship and something more blur in Dan’s head (he doesn’t think they blur as much in Blair’s), Dan doesn’t feel at ease being around Serena and Blair at the same time - to have Nate there on top of it, makes everything even more excruciating. Either Serena or Nate (who both know Dan quite well) is bound to figure out that Dan has the hots for the petite brunette.
Which brings Dan to the point of why he ended up accepting in the end: Blair in a tiny red bikini sunbathing next to him while he reads Neal Cassady poems.
13. Bright
Laughter wakes Blair up on Sunday morning. She walks toward the laughter outside the house. Nate, Serena and Dan are having breakfast while talking animatedly. She watches the trio, unnoticed, and feels completely obsolete. None of them seem to care that one of them is missing, that she’s not sharing their conversation and laughs.
But just at that moment, Dan turns around and sees her. His smile widens and eyes soften as he extends his hand, gesturing her to join them. She sits down on the empty chair next to him and turns to him as he hands her a bowl of blueberries (her favorite). He dazzles her with a much brighter smile than the ones he had just shared with their friends.
She suddenly feels wanted again.
14. Day
It had been very close to the perfect day for him (if somehow he had ended up kissing Blair, it would have been). He and Nate played some volleyball, and then everyone played poker. Dan also spent quite some time lounging next to Blair and finally he went on a walk along the beach with Serena. He had been spending so much time with Blair lately that he had forgotten how much he liked Serena. She was such a lively spirit when relaxed and comfortable (so usually not around her mother). Without her, the ambiance for the weekend would have been completely different.
He also likes to see Serena and Blair spending time together. Serena is really the only true friend Blair has; all her other friends were minions she didn’t care about and ex-boyfriends (or guys who would like to be one). Nate tells him that when Blair’s around Dan, she reminds Nate of how she used to be (before her dad left her mom for another man, before Nate cheated on her with Serena, before Serena left for an entire year with no explanation). Nate looks at Dan straight in the eye when he says this (in a sort of ‘you hurt her, I kill you’ way), making Dan feel extremely uncomfortable. He has no intention of hurting Blair; he just thinks that there is no way Blair would ever put herself in a position to let Dan hurt her.
15. Shower
Nate is the one who catches her. His shock translates in loud exclamations that alert Serena and Dan who run into the bathroom at once. As soon as they see the spectacle in front of them, they start bombarding her with questions. Nate joins in and all she can hear instead of words is a cacophony of sounds echoing through the bathroom tiles.
Blair looks at the water falling down in the shower (her pitiful excuse for being in the bathroom in the first place) and wonders what Dan and Serena had been doing to arrive in the bathroom at the same time. She hates that it bothers her so much. Dan is a good guy and Serena deserves a good person. Blair had told Serena often enough the last few months. Blair will be punished for a long time for not realizing soon enough that the good guy always shows up (although he only had eyes for his ex-girlfriend/step-sister/forever-potential-romantic-interest).
It’s only when she feels a hand on her shoulder that Blair realizes that Nate and Serena are gone (they had closed the door on their way out) and Dan is sitting beside her. She waits for Dan’s speech about what she almost did, but it never comes. Instead, he wraps his arms around her and gently kisses her temple (a friendly kiss). He tells her that she’s beautiful and that even if she were twenty or thirty pounds heavier, she would still be drop dead gorgeous. She shrugs, not really believing him. He knows, so he tells her that he’s going to make sure that one day she will believe it too.
He tightens his arms around her, squeezing her into a suffocating hug. She doesn’t mind; she’s never felt safer.
16. River
Something’s been going on with Blair. Dan finds it difficult to even pinpoint exactly what’s wrong. She’s still the same Blair. She mocks him and criticizes him; she gives him her dazzling smile and twinkling eyes. Still, something is wrong. She’ll be warm with him, then something will cross her mind and she’ll become cold and distant. He tries to see what he says that brings her mood change but he can’t figure it out. He’s sure it has something to do with him because she’s perfectly normal when Nate and Serena are around.
He’s pretty sure the end of their not-so-fake friendship is near.
17. History
Blair has always had a love/hate relationship with Serena Van der Woodsen. She loves her more than anyone else; she can tell her anything and be completely herself with her, but it is hard living in Serena’s shadow. She really hadn’t been spending that much time with Serena around guys lately and the effect she has on them had somehow slipped Blair’s mind.
It all comes back to her when she sees Serena playing around with Nate and Dan. Blair wonders why she had been stupid enough to invite Dan in the first place. Why is she exposing herself to the inevitable comparison with Serena Van der Woodsen? Not only is she destined to lose all battles with any guy, but in this case, we are talking about Serena Van der Woodsen with Dan Humphrey.
They had history.
18. Candy
They haven’t spoken in over a week. Dan’s pretty sure their friendship is over. He just wishes he knew why, although he’s fairly certain that it has something to do with their weekend in the Hamptons. He doesn’t know what has prompted Blair to invite him there in the first place. Maybe she was trying to see if she could deal with having Dan as a friend in a group situation (they really only ever hung out by themselves before that weekend). Clearly, he didn’t pass the test.
He misses her terribly.
So he decides to do one last attempt at salvaging their bizarre friendship. He buys her candy (he knows she has a soft spot for Werther’s Originals) and goes to the penthouse. He takes a deep breath before entering her room. This would be his very last effort. He would leave her alone after this.
When he sees her on her bed, furiously typing (working again) and ignoring his presence, he isn’t sure what to do. He clears his throat to get her attention but she doesn’t look up. Finally, he simply puts the bag of butterscotch candies next to her laptop. She glances at them and smiles softly. She opens the bag, takes a candy and hands one to Dan.
Friendship not dead.
19. Music
She hears a song she hasn’t heard in months. She’s in a Brooklyn cocktail bar with Dan (one of the few respectful places in Brooklyn where she agrees to go). She doesn’t know the name of the song or the artist but she remembers exactly where she’s heard it before: at the masked ball last March when an unknown man grabbed her and gave her a breathtaking kiss. She hadn’t really thought about her mystery kisser that much. She has from time to time wondered why this man had suddenly kissed her without revealing himself, but life has been so busy and demanding lately that she has been too distracted from doing anything more than musing over it once a blue moon. But that night she finds out all her unanswered questions about the kiss.
Because Dan reacts the exact same way she does when the song begins to play.
She thinks back to the few features of the man she had seen and it dawns on her how obvious the identity of her mysterious kisser is.
So Blair does the only thing she can do: she leans in and takes back the kiss Dan had stolen from her so long ago.
20. Disgusting
Their first real date is not long after their weekend in the Hamptons. He takes her to the county fair on Long Island and he can tell she finds the whole idea repulsive. When she had agreed to go out with him, Dan’s first thought had been to take her to a fancy restaurant to wine and dine her properly. Then he thought about how it’s probably Blair’s run-of-the-mill first date.
He pretends to be nonchalant by her obvious distaste for the fair while his whole being shakes on the inside. He thinks he was stupid to go for the original date and really should have stuck with the standard one. He knows Blair. How on Earth did he think that she would ever like the county fair? She pulls a face the entire time and comments on how everything is, well, disgusting. After two hours, Dan stops even trying to make up for the bad venue choice.
When they’re about to leave (much to the relief of both), Dan notices Blair eyeing a dart game stall. He casually asks her if she wants to play (although he’s pretty sure she’s dying to leave) and is surprised when she immediately agrees. He pays for her round, and then pays for another round when she loses. When he pays a third round she hands the dart to him, telling him that it’s his turn to try. He accepts the darts more to avoid an argument than an actual desire to play (he’s an awful dart player).
Out of pure luck (although he sort of pretends it’s all skills), he manages to get two out three darts right in the center of the dart board. He asks Blair to choose the stuffed animal of her choice and she happily asks for the giraffe (‘they’re taller than all other animals’ is the explanation she gives him, but Dan knows she chose it because it was by far the cutest one). Blair smiles the whole way back to Brooklyn.
That night, in the dark, as she lays on top of him (he can feel her breasts on his bare chest and they’re so wonderfully full and soft - he can’t remember a time when he’s been so… content), she confesses to him that no one has ever won anything for her before - bought, yes (all the time), but never won.
He kisses her deeply as he realizes how insecure and vulnerable Blair actually is (he thinks of what his father had said to him about Blair all those years ago - ‘there’s something beneath the surface with people like her that make them act the way they do’) and Dan silently promises to himself to never hurt her the way so many have done before.
21. Swimming
She had never been the center of anyone’s universe. She’s always been an accessory (to Nate, her mother, her father), and at best, a partner-in-crime (to Chuck, Serena). She isn’t the center of Dan’s universe either, but for once, she doesn’t want to. She knows she is important enough that she actually affects his decisions.
To be fair, Chuck had made considerable efforts. After he had made his decisions, he always tried to see how he could negotiate them with her. Before they had been together, Chuck had never taken anyone into account so it had been progress. However, with Dan, even though he doesn’t make his decisions solely according to her, he takes her into account when he makes them (sometimes it’s as stupid as buying that green tea she likes and other times it’s deciding not to go to Warwick in England for a semester and stay with her in New York instead).
And she doesn’t even have to wonder if he’s considering her because every time she looks at him, Blair can see herself swimming in his eyes and knows that she’s there even when she’s not looking.
22. Sun
He has always been partial to blondes, especially blondes with long hair. Dan is pretty sure that’s what first caught his eye about Serena Van der Woodsen. It’s like blondes walk around with the sun in their hair. He’s always been attracted to sunlight. He will sit at the sunny part of an outdoor table. He likes to lie in the sun at Central Park. His idea of best vacation spot is the Caribbean or Rome. The sun’s warm and comforting.
But when he’s lying naked in bed with Blair Waldorf, Dan feels that nothing is more warm and comforting than Blair’s soft body wrapped around his.
23. Nurse
At the end of August, Dan gets really sick.
Who gets the flu in August?
At first, he quarantines himself at the loft, miserable and alone. When Blair doesn’t hear from him for two days (and he doesn’t pick up his phone), she goes to Brooklyn (she spends way too much time there) to see what’s going on. She goes straight to Dan’s room when she lets herself in (she knows where he hides the extra key). It’s dark and smelly and she wrinkles her nose as soon as she steps in. She looks at Dan’s half-conscious form on the bed and around the room, assessing the situation. Without a word she leaves the room and looks around the loft until she finds a closet. Opening it, she smiles, satisfied to have found what she had been looking for. Dan was so predictable. She grabs some clean sheets and goes back to Dan’s room. She orders him to get up and take a shower. He groans, ill and exhausted, but she’s unmoved. A little grumpiness isn’t going to scare her away. She simply grabs his comforter and yanks at it, causing him to roll on the floor. He moans in pain and she just scoffs at his protests. Sensing that there’s no point arguing against Blair Waldorf, Dan does as told.
While he takes his shower, Blair changes his sheets and opens his curtains, letting light into the room. It isn’t a particularly hot day (there was a breeze when she left this morning) so she opens a window to let some fresh air in. Honestly, how is he going to get better without any fresh air? She grabs clean boxer shorts and a t-shirt, and puts them on the bed. She takes all dishes and cutlery scattered around the room and brings them to the kitchen. She starts the kettle before going back to the room with a trash bag. Grabbing all discarded used tissues and other trash, she cleans his room quickly and efficiently. Focused on the task at hand, the fact that she is grabbing dirty, germy trash with her bare hands doesn’t even register. Dan wouldn’t get better until he was in a clean, aired room. She would never understand why boys were such idiots when it came to simple things.
When Dan comes back to his room, he shows his surprise at the rapid transformation. Blair doesn’t acknowledge it and instead shows him the clean clothes she laid out for him. She goes to the kitchen to prepare a cup of hot water with honey and lemon, but notices that he doesn’t have any lemons or lemon juice. She goes to the corner store to get a bottle of lemon juice and some flu medicine. At the store, she notices the magazine rack and takes a few magazines for him. Cosmo grabs her eyes and she hesitates. She should really get back to the city. She needs to get ready for school. Besides, there isn’t much she can do for Dan anyway. She did all she could and at this point, he just has to wait it out.
She grabs the magazine (and Elle and Vogue).
When she comes back, she prepares the cup of hot honey and lemon water and also fills a glass with lukewarm water. When she takes everything to his room, Dan is lying in bed, already looking a lot better than when she first arrived earlier that day. She orders him to take the pills and drink the hot water. When he’s done as she requested (Dan was always so obedient, even sick), she hands him the magazines she had bought for him. He smiles in gratitude and thanks her for everything, assuring her he will call her as soon as he feels better.
Ignoring his comment, she takes her shoes off, grabs the Cosmo she just bought, and sits on the bed next to him. She quickly glances at Dan and she isn’t sure if he’s more surprised or happy that she’s staying.
She isn’t even resentful when she gets the flu a week later and misses the first week of class. She has Dan by her side the whole time.
24. Rage
Their first fight is about Serena.
Dan finds it disconcerting to have so much anger directed at him. During all these years of non-friendship, frenemies, fake-friendship, real friendship and actually dating, Blair has never been really angry with him. This new experience is far from pleasant. He’s always known that Blair has an inferiority complex toward Serena but he hadn’t thought that it would infiltrate into his relationship with Blair. How naïve he had been.
So when Blair feels insecure about him being chummy with Serena, Dan is tempted to explain to Blair in great details how his friendship with Serena doesn’t threaten his relationship with her.
Then he remembers the conversations he had days on end with Serena about their relationship to always come back to the same point, the same argument. So instead of giving Blair a compassionate, heartfelt explanation, Dan simply states that he’s with Blair, that if Serena would ask him tomorrow, next week, next month (and even next year, but he doesn’t tell Blair that in fear of scaring her away) to choose between her and Blair, he would choose Blair without a moment’s hesitation. He tells her that she has to accept this as he has never given her reason to doubt him, that she has to trust him and that he wasn’t discussing this again with her.
It promptly ends the argument and Blair never brings up Dan’s history with Serena again.
25. Challenging
She’s the first one to say ‘I love you’. When she began dating Dan, she had always assumed that if they ever got to that point, Dan would be the first one to say the three words; he’s the writer, the dreamer, the romantic. Of course he was going be the first one to say them.
She doesn’t say the words in the throes of passion, nor over a romantic dinner or movie. Neither does she say them unintentionally, letting it slip before she’s ready to say them. They are at their favorite café (exactly halfway between Columbia and NYU); he’s writing an essay on a Yeats’ 1916 while she’s reading an article for her journalism class. Between two pages, she looks up at him; he’s frowning in concentration (Yeats wasn’t the easiest poet to study), which she finds incredibly adorable. She grabs his hand and squeezes it gently, whispering the three little words so only he can hear them. He looks up immediately as she says them and gives her a dazzling smile that makes her heart skip a beat. He leans over the table and kisses her, whispering the exact same words to her.
It hadn’t been a straight road for them to get to this point and she has a feeling that the road ahead is quite a winding road.
She doesn’t mind; she’s ready.
~o~
The End
~o~
I've spent such a long time on this thing. Please tell me which words were your favourites. I'll give you a cookie :)
Author: Cat
Rating: T
Fandom: Gossip Girl
Pairing: Dan/Blair
Summary: 02. Distraction: He tries really hard not to think about Blair and fails miserably.
Spoilers: Up to Damien Darko (4x13) -- diverges after that episode.
Beta: fading_ripples -- for editing and holding my hand throughout this fic even though you know nothing about Gossip Girl!
Dislcaimer: All characters were borrowed for non-lucrative purposes.
Author's Notes: I’ve written in several fandoms before, but never Gossip Girl. I’ve also been watching Gossip Girl as pure brainless entertainment for 3 years without really caring much about who’s dating whom and all that. I did like Chuck and Blair (mostly because Blair’s my favourite character) and enjoyed watching their relationship until he sold her off for his hotel. That completely turned me off their couple. Anyway, I finally noticed the Dan/Blair potential in 3x18 and have been rooting for them ever since. I’m really hoping they turn out to be endgame since more and more people (including myself) are moving from the Chuck/Blair camp to the Dan/Blair one.
Finally, this fic is basically a series of ficlets that sort of tell a story (not in chronological order) about Dan/Blair for about 9-10 months. I found it a fantastic exercise for my first dab into the world of Gossip Girl and Dan/Blair. My beta came up with the 25 random words.
~o~
War and Peace
~o~
01. Strong
Blair Waldorf is nothing if not ambitious. She has always wanted to be on top. She wants to be above everyone else, above their scrutiny, pity and derision. She has promised herself to never put herself in a position of vulnerability, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. With Chuck, her vulnerability has shown a little, but she has been able to hide behind their mutual love for games and schemes.
It so happens that it is something that’s impossible to do with Dan Humphrey. His honesty, integrity, and complete lack of interest in games (he could be persuaded to participate in random schemes) prevent her from hiding her vulnerability. Humphrey forces her to show her vulnerable (weak) side, so she keeps him at arm’s length. Blair Waldorf is not going to doubt herself because of someone like Dan Humprey.
It takes her months to realize that despite exposing more and more of her vulnerability to him, Blair has never felt as strong as she is when Dan is by (and on) her side.
02. Distraction
During the spring semester of his sophomore year, Dan tries to focus on his studies. His internship in the spring isn’t turning out to be exactly what he had been hoping for. He has to do better in school and be prepared to land the best possible internship next year.
He tries really hard not to think about Blair and fails miserably.
03. Pretty
She finds herself fascinated by Dan’s looks. For years he was no more than Brooklyn impersonated, Serena’s version of experimentation. She never really paid attention to his physical appearance (except for his horrible taste in clothes). Of course she did notice that he’s fairly good looking but his other ‘qualities’ (being from Brooklyn, bad taste in clothes, judgmental, self-righteous) took precedence over his good looks.
As she begins to spend more time with him, she notices him more. He doesn’t have the classic boyish good looks Nate possesses and he certainly doesn’t have the sexy and dangerous vibe that Chuck gives off. It’s really hard to pinpoint the kind of looks he has. In the end there’s only one word that comes to mind: pretty.
Blair decides that pretty boys have an irresistible charm to them.
04. Reading
Since Dan’s alternate internship isn’t turning out to be exactly the one he had been hoping for, he doesn’t invest too much time and energy on it. Instead, he spends it reading. A month or so after his internship had started, Blair had been at the loft for some reason he couldn’t really remember now. She had perused through his novels while he had been fixing her a cup of green tea. The next day he had received an email from her with a list of book recommendations. Since that day, Dan has been going through that list one by one. He writes comments in the margins and flags them with a post-it bookmarker before handing the book to Blair. Sometimes she keeps the book (he has seen Gaskell’s North and South on her nightstand) and sometimes she gives it back to him with remarks on his notes. Whenever he gets a book back (sometimes through Serena or Nate, and even once Dorota stopped by his office to drop P.G. Wodehouse’s Thank you, Jeeves), Dan feverously reads her comments to see if she agrees with him or not. He can hear her voice as he reads them. They become his favorite books.
05. Awake
Her internship (on top of her classes) completely drains Blair. One Saturday night while watching Funny Face (not her favorite Audrey Hepburn movie) in her room with Dan, she falls asleep, her head resting on his lap. She only becomes aware of this when she wakes up some time later. The movie has ended and Dan’s watching Saturday Night Live. She can feel him shake as he softly laughs at the jokes. His fingers are lightly running through her hair. It feels comfortable.
She doesn’t move an inch, making sure he doesn’t notice that she’s awake. Blair closes her eyes letting his soft chuckles and gentle fingers lull her back to sleep. She hopes she’ll remember this moment in the morning.
She does.
06. Snow
Blair doesn’t know when and where she and Dan had their first kiss (she finds out months later).
There’s a masquerade ball at the end of March. There’s a reason for it (charity, huge business deal, new drapes in someone’s foyer - he can’t remember) but any concern he would have had for the occasion is trumped by Blair walking in. She’s dressed like what he has always imagined the White Witch from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe to look like with her dark hair and fair skin (her inspiration for her outfit is apparently the late snow fall). She’s breathtakingly beautiful and appears to be just as cold as the White Witch. On the other hand, Dan now knows that Blair may look cold on the outside, but she’s warm on the inside.
He’s mesmerized the second she walks in.
At first he is tempted to walk straight to her and just stand by her side, admiring her beauty for the rest of the evening, but as she animatedly talks to people around her, he sees the advantage of watching her from afar with her unaware that she’s so carefully observed. After an hour or so, she bumps into him and excuses herself in a polite, standoffish manner.
She doesn’t recognize him.
The second Dan understands this, an idea creeps into his mind. It’s the best opportunity he’ll ever get. He takes two long strides to reach her, grabs her arm, turns her around and kisses her.
She is shocked at first, but within seconds she responds to the kiss, opening her mouth to invite him in. Her lips are as soft as they appeared to be and the small sigh she lets out as she opens her mouth is adorable. Their tongues dance together in perfect sync; they should have done this a long time ago. He doesn’t want to end the kiss but he knows he’s already pushing his luck, so with one last small, soft, lingering peck on her lips, he leans back and leaves her. He wants to turn back, look at her, see her reaction, but he’s afraid that somehow he might give himself away. He’s afraid that if she realizes who her mystery kisser is, it might ruin everything.
07. Fear
She still thinks about Chuck from time to time. She wonders how close he really is to Raina or if he will lose Bass Industries. She also wonders how his relationship with Lily is going. Most of all, she wonders if he wonders about her. She seems to be completely off his radar at times; her doing, she knows this. But if she still thinks about him, he must be thinking about her.
So she wonders what he would say or think about what she’s been doing and who she’s been hanging out with. She wonders what he would think about her developing friendship with Humphrey. He’d probably insult him. He’d probably insult her as well for befriending Brooklyn. Not that what he thinks should really matter, but it does. At some point she thought Chuck was the love of her life.
What Blair really wonders about is when she stopped thinking that and that’s what scares her most of all.
08. Pretty accent
It’s springtime in New York and Dan doesn’t remember a time when he was so content. He’s sitting across Blair in a small restaurant not too far from the W Magazine offices. She had agreed to have lunch with him, a rare occurrence since she had started her internship. He had found an internship at jazz and blues periodical (which turned out to be three blocks away from the W Magazine offices) after Epperly fired him. Dan hadn’t regretted what he had done to get Blair’s job back for a second. He had seen her work harder than he had ever worked in his life, thus the reason she rarely took time to have lunch outside the office (Dan usually brought her lunch around noon knowing that she probably wouldn’t eat if he didn’t).
Blair is being incredibly rude and is constantly on the phone while they’re eating together. He doesn’t really mind as he enjoys watching her work so passionately. He had known for several years that there was another side to Blair that she didn’t show to many people, but it was nice to see that side more and more often. She doesn’t apologize when she hangs up the phone after talking to someone. Instead, she resumes their conversation as if they had never been interrupted. After the fifth phone call, he finds her passion less endearing and more irritating. He’s about to tell her exactly what he thinks when her phone rings once again. He is startled when she starts to speak in French. He had forgotten that she’s fluent.
As he listens to the lovely sounds coming out of her mouth, he wonders (with a pang in his heart) if one day he’ll be able to convince her to speak to him in French with that pretty accent of hers.
09. Pregnant
When you have a friend like Blair Waldorf who asks what you want for your birthday (emphasizing that you could have anything you couldn’t afford in a million years), taking her on a Subway ride is not what she had in mind.
Why she agreed to it (and didn’t need that much prying and begging - it’s those damn soulful eyes) at all, Blair has no idea. Nevertheless, there she is, on a Sunday (her only true day off of the week since she’s started her internship at W), walking down the steps to the subway station with Humphrey by her side. When they reach the turnstiles, he hands her a metrocard (he’s prepared) and queues at the longest line. When Blair’s about to make a beeline to a shorter line, Dan grabs her and forces her to stay. When she protests, he explains that as a ‘tourist’, she would take longer than a second to go through the turnstile which would aggravate the more regular subway passengers. She huffs and puffs but remains at the line Dan has chosen for them.
It is only when they are standing on the platform with the subway doors opening in front of them that Blair fully realizes what she’s about to be subjected to. She looks at the people in the wagon, at the dirty walls and floor, at the kid screaming in his mom’s ear and she takes a step back. Dan doesn’t take her distress seriously and pushes her inside. There is one seat available next to a clean, nicely dressed woman (Blair will not stand up all the way to Brooklyn nor will she sit next to a dirty, smelly man), and Blair sits down immediately before anyone has any idea of grabbing the seat for themselves. She can smell the Chanel No 19 the woman is wearing and feels satisfied to have located the prime seat in the wagon. Blair looks up at Dan who’s standing in front of her and a trace of a smile forms on her lips. She’s pretty sure that he sees it and grins at her smugly. She frowns back. She will not give him the satisfaction of thinking that doing this for him isn’t a great sacrifice on her part.
The ride is tolerable until a fairly large crowd comes into their wagon a couple of stations later. A pregnant woman is standing next to Dan and Blair hopes someone gives her their seat. After a few seconds, she looks around desperately, but no one has noticed the pregnant woman. Her eyes go to Dan who looks at her expectedly. She sighs and reluctantly gets up. The pregnant woman smiles at her, grateful for Blair’s courtesy. Blair smiles back (tightly and resentfully). She looks at the pole Dan was holding onto. It looks incredibly dirty. She doesn’t want to touch that thing, but when the train jolts into a start and begins to move, she loses her balance and grabs it instinctively. She immediately feels how dirty it is and winces noticeably.
It is absolutely horrible.
Probably noticing Blair’s reaction to touching the pole, Dan wraps an arm around her and tells her to hold onto him instead. Grateful, she wraps both arms around him tightly so she won’t lose her balance and need to grab that horrible, dirty pole again. As she buries her face in his chest, she can smell his Armani cologne (a gift from Lily or Serena, no doubt). She thinks that it isn’t bad after all as she closes her eyes and lets the motion of the train and scent of Dan’s cologne lull her into a lovely daydream.
10. Shoes
The first time she was wearing red Marc Jacobs shoes. He remembers this because the red popped out from the cold, icy white of the bathroom tiles. He was surprised to find her kneeling in front of the toilet, regurgitating her entire stomach’s content. It had been before they were friends, before they even started to sort of hang out together during the Christmas holidays. He thinks that it must have been around Thanksgiving, when the Van der Bass Humphreys got together with the Waldorfs. She caught him staring at her and explained she had a stomach bug. He never thought any more of it.
The second time she was wearing navy blue Burberry shoes. They were sort of friends then. They had gone to a couple of movies together. They even met up for coffee once in a while, talked about school and about their upcoming internships. A morning coffee laced with debate on Tolstoy v. Dostoyevsky (Dan still doesn’t understand how anyone could rate Tolstoy over Dostoyevsky) had been prolonged to lunch. She had been gone to the bathroom for quite some time when Dan had decided to investigate. He had hesitantly opened the door of the ladies room and heard the last bout of vomiting. He had quickly closed the door and had gone back to their table. When she had come back two minutes later, his eyes had gone down, trying to avoid her stare. He had watched as her Burberry shoes clicked on the wooden floor, elegantly following her graceful steps. When she had sat down, she had eyed Dan suspiciously, and then had smiled explaining her long absence by saying that she was feeling really nervous about her internship. She didn’t mention the vomiting but he had assumed that her nervousness had been the reason for it and she had felt too proud to share her weakness with him.
The third time she was wearing green Louboutin shoes, matching the white and green sundress she was wearing. It had happened a good four months after the time in the café. They were all done with their internships and were ready to welcome summer with open arms. Blair and Serena had planned a garden party - although there were no gardens to speak of - instead, there were plants and flowers everywhere in the penthouse, simulating a garden. Dan had thought the party was a pretty cool idea at the time. There were cocktails flowing all over the place so Dan hadn’t thought twice when he found her kneeling by the toilet once again. This time, though, he sat next to her, held her hair and rubbed her back as she emptied her stomach. When it was over, she smiled at him, wiping her mouth, and simply said “thanks, Humphrey” before brushing her teeth. He had shrugged and left the bathroom. Still, something started to nag him when he saw Blair not even ten minutes later all smiles and excitement as if moments earlier she hadn’t puked her guts out from drinking too much.
And this is the fourth time. She is wearing off white Givenchy (yes, he does know who Givenchy is) shoes. The shoes almost match her skin perfectly. This time, though, the veil is lifted. They were spending the incredibly hot July evening watching Gone with the Wind and eating pizza and ice cream at the loft in Brooklyn (Blair claims it’s cooler in Brooklyn than Manhattan). Blair had just excused herself right before the bridge kissing scene between Rhett and Scarlett. Dan followed her, suspicious about why she would willingly miss her favorite scene. That’s when he sees her shoving two fingers down her throat and forcing herself to purge. He swallows the horror he feels, sits down next to her, holds her hair and rubs her back like he had done the previous time. Blair jumps when Dan touches her but keeps on purging. When it’s all over she flushes the toilet, but doesn’t move an inch. Dan tilts his head so he can look at her. Tears are streaming down her face. He grabs a tissue and cleans her up. She avoids his eyes, looks everywhere but at his face. He knows she’s ashamed and refuses to let her feel this way. He never wants Blair to feel ashamed around him. So he does the only thing he can think of: he takes her hand and helps her get up. He leads her to his room, takes off her shoes and clothes, then lays her down on his bed.
Blair closes her eyes (probably trying to avoid looking at him) as he sits down next to her. She turns on her side (toward him, which he thinks is a sign that she trusts him), tucking her hands under his pillow. Dan runs his fingers in her hair while she falls asleep. As he stares at the shoes on his bedroom floor, lying in disarray (something that Blair would have never accepted had she been in her right mind), he thinks that he’ll do anything to help her fight her bulimia.
11. Narcissistic
When Blair gets the P.G. Wodehouse book from Dan, she eagerly anticipates going to bed that night and reading Dan’s margins before falling asleep. She hopes he understands the tongue-in-cheek allusion she made about their relationship when she recommended the book. Jeeves, the servant (Dan), and Wooster, the rich socialite (her), scheming together story after story. She didn’t invent scheming; P.G. Wodehouse did. She is merely following what was established before she rose into the world.
That night when she reads Dan’s comments, she is relieved to see that he does understand the humor behind this book recommendation. He even takes sequences, actions and dialogues exclaiming that it’s him, her or the two of them. She doesn’t add much, just ‘you would definitely say that’ or ‘that’s never going to happen’ and ‘doesn’t so and so remind you of Serena/Nate/Chuck, etc.?’.
He doesn’t comment about it, and neither does she, but she hopes that he also sees how loyal and faithful Jeeves and Wooster are to each other and hopefully she and Dan mirror them.
However, she does notice the book on Dan’s nightstand just like he probably noticed Elizabeth Gaskell’s North and South on hers.
He never comments on never getting the Gaskell novel back, which makes her wonder if he knows. She had tried to read in between the margin notes he had written, to see if he saw how alike Margaret Hale and John Thornton they are. They were both from different worlds and stubborn about their lifestyles and principles, strongly believing their upbringing superior to the other’s only to realize in the end that they were not that different.
John Thornton falls in love with Margaret Hale halfway through the novel.
There is no Serena Van der Woodsen in North and South.
12. Relaxing
If a year ago, you would have told Daniel Humphrey that he would find a hot Saturday afternoon spent with Blair Waldorf relaxing, he would have thought you were crazy.
Blair had convinced him to spend the weekend in the Hamptons with her, Serena, and Nate. He had been more than reluctant when she first proposed the idea to him.
First, the Hamptons are the epitome of wealth, snobbery and upper-class - not the most comfortable environment for him.
Second, as the lines between friendship and something more blur in Dan’s head (he doesn’t think they blur as much in Blair’s), Dan doesn’t feel at ease being around Serena and Blair at the same time - to have Nate there on top of it, makes everything even more excruciating. Either Serena or Nate (who both know Dan quite well) is bound to figure out that Dan has the hots for the petite brunette.
Which brings Dan to the point of why he ended up accepting in the end: Blair in a tiny red bikini sunbathing next to him while he reads Neal Cassady poems.
13. Bright
Laughter wakes Blair up on Sunday morning. She walks toward the laughter outside the house. Nate, Serena and Dan are having breakfast while talking animatedly. She watches the trio, unnoticed, and feels completely obsolete. None of them seem to care that one of them is missing, that she’s not sharing their conversation and laughs.
But just at that moment, Dan turns around and sees her. His smile widens and eyes soften as he extends his hand, gesturing her to join them. She sits down on the empty chair next to him and turns to him as he hands her a bowl of blueberries (her favorite). He dazzles her with a much brighter smile than the ones he had just shared with their friends.
She suddenly feels wanted again.
14. Day
It had been very close to the perfect day for him (if somehow he had ended up kissing Blair, it would have been). He and Nate played some volleyball, and then everyone played poker. Dan also spent quite some time lounging next to Blair and finally he went on a walk along the beach with Serena. He had been spending so much time with Blair lately that he had forgotten how much he liked Serena. She was such a lively spirit when relaxed and comfortable (so usually not around her mother). Without her, the ambiance for the weekend would have been completely different.
He also likes to see Serena and Blair spending time together. Serena is really the only true friend Blair has; all her other friends were minions she didn’t care about and ex-boyfriends (or guys who would like to be one). Nate tells him that when Blair’s around Dan, she reminds Nate of how she used to be (before her dad left her mom for another man, before Nate cheated on her with Serena, before Serena left for an entire year with no explanation). Nate looks at Dan straight in the eye when he says this (in a sort of ‘you hurt her, I kill you’ way), making Dan feel extremely uncomfortable. He has no intention of hurting Blair; he just thinks that there is no way Blair would ever put herself in a position to let Dan hurt her.
15. Shower
Nate is the one who catches her. His shock translates in loud exclamations that alert Serena and Dan who run into the bathroom at once. As soon as they see the spectacle in front of them, they start bombarding her with questions. Nate joins in and all she can hear instead of words is a cacophony of sounds echoing through the bathroom tiles.
Blair looks at the water falling down in the shower (her pitiful excuse for being in the bathroom in the first place) and wonders what Dan and Serena had been doing to arrive in the bathroom at the same time. She hates that it bothers her so much. Dan is a good guy and Serena deserves a good person. Blair had told Serena often enough the last few months. Blair will be punished for a long time for not realizing soon enough that the good guy always shows up (although he only had eyes for his ex-girlfriend/step-sister/forever-potential-romantic-interest).
It’s only when she feels a hand on her shoulder that Blair realizes that Nate and Serena are gone (they had closed the door on their way out) and Dan is sitting beside her. She waits for Dan’s speech about what she almost did, but it never comes. Instead, he wraps his arms around her and gently kisses her temple (a friendly kiss). He tells her that she’s beautiful and that even if she were twenty or thirty pounds heavier, she would still be drop dead gorgeous. She shrugs, not really believing him. He knows, so he tells her that he’s going to make sure that one day she will believe it too.
He tightens his arms around her, squeezing her into a suffocating hug. She doesn’t mind; she’s never felt safer.
16. River
Something’s been going on with Blair. Dan finds it difficult to even pinpoint exactly what’s wrong. She’s still the same Blair. She mocks him and criticizes him; she gives him her dazzling smile and twinkling eyes. Still, something is wrong. She’ll be warm with him, then something will cross her mind and she’ll become cold and distant. He tries to see what he says that brings her mood change but he can’t figure it out. He’s sure it has something to do with him because she’s perfectly normal when Nate and Serena are around.
He’s pretty sure the end of their not-so-fake friendship is near.
17. History
Blair has always had a love/hate relationship with Serena Van der Woodsen. She loves her more than anyone else; she can tell her anything and be completely herself with her, but it is hard living in Serena’s shadow. She really hadn’t been spending that much time with Serena around guys lately and the effect she has on them had somehow slipped Blair’s mind.
It all comes back to her when she sees Serena playing around with Nate and Dan. Blair wonders why she had been stupid enough to invite Dan in the first place. Why is she exposing herself to the inevitable comparison with Serena Van der Woodsen? Not only is she destined to lose all battles with any guy, but in this case, we are talking about Serena Van der Woodsen with Dan Humphrey.
They had history.
18. Candy
They haven’t spoken in over a week. Dan’s pretty sure their friendship is over. He just wishes he knew why, although he’s fairly certain that it has something to do with their weekend in the Hamptons. He doesn’t know what has prompted Blair to invite him there in the first place. Maybe she was trying to see if she could deal with having Dan as a friend in a group situation (they really only ever hung out by themselves before that weekend). Clearly, he didn’t pass the test.
He misses her terribly.
So he decides to do one last attempt at salvaging their bizarre friendship. He buys her candy (he knows she has a soft spot for Werther’s Originals) and goes to the penthouse. He takes a deep breath before entering her room. This would be his very last effort. He would leave her alone after this.
When he sees her on her bed, furiously typing (working again) and ignoring his presence, he isn’t sure what to do. He clears his throat to get her attention but she doesn’t look up. Finally, he simply puts the bag of butterscotch candies next to her laptop. She glances at them and smiles softly. She opens the bag, takes a candy and hands one to Dan.
Friendship not dead.
19. Music
She hears a song she hasn’t heard in months. She’s in a Brooklyn cocktail bar with Dan (one of the few respectful places in Brooklyn where she agrees to go). She doesn’t know the name of the song or the artist but she remembers exactly where she’s heard it before: at the masked ball last March when an unknown man grabbed her and gave her a breathtaking kiss. She hadn’t really thought about her mystery kisser that much. She has from time to time wondered why this man had suddenly kissed her without revealing himself, but life has been so busy and demanding lately that she has been too distracted from doing anything more than musing over it once a blue moon. But that night she finds out all her unanswered questions about the kiss.
Because Dan reacts the exact same way she does when the song begins to play.
She thinks back to the few features of the man she had seen and it dawns on her how obvious the identity of her mysterious kisser is.
So Blair does the only thing she can do: she leans in and takes back the kiss Dan had stolen from her so long ago.
20. Disgusting
Their first real date is not long after their weekend in the Hamptons. He takes her to the county fair on Long Island and he can tell she finds the whole idea repulsive. When she had agreed to go out with him, Dan’s first thought had been to take her to a fancy restaurant to wine and dine her properly. Then he thought about how it’s probably Blair’s run-of-the-mill first date.
He pretends to be nonchalant by her obvious distaste for the fair while his whole being shakes on the inside. He thinks he was stupid to go for the original date and really should have stuck with the standard one. He knows Blair. How on Earth did he think that she would ever like the county fair? She pulls a face the entire time and comments on how everything is, well, disgusting. After two hours, Dan stops even trying to make up for the bad venue choice.
When they’re about to leave (much to the relief of both), Dan notices Blair eyeing a dart game stall. He casually asks her if she wants to play (although he’s pretty sure she’s dying to leave) and is surprised when she immediately agrees. He pays for her round, and then pays for another round when she loses. When he pays a third round she hands the dart to him, telling him that it’s his turn to try. He accepts the darts more to avoid an argument than an actual desire to play (he’s an awful dart player).
Out of pure luck (although he sort of pretends it’s all skills), he manages to get two out three darts right in the center of the dart board. He asks Blair to choose the stuffed animal of her choice and she happily asks for the giraffe (‘they’re taller than all other animals’ is the explanation she gives him, but Dan knows she chose it because it was by far the cutest one). Blair smiles the whole way back to Brooklyn.
That night, in the dark, as she lays on top of him (he can feel her breasts on his bare chest and they’re so wonderfully full and soft - he can’t remember a time when he’s been so… content), she confesses to him that no one has ever won anything for her before - bought, yes (all the time), but never won.
He kisses her deeply as he realizes how insecure and vulnerable Blair actually is (he thinks of what his father had said to him about Blair all those years ago - ‘there’s something beneath the surface with people like her that make them act the way they do’) and Dan silently promises to himself to never hurt her the way so many have done before.
21. Swimming
She had never been the center of anyone’s universe. She’s always been an accessory (to Nate, her mother, her father), and at best, a partner-in-crime (to Chuck, Serena). She isn’t the center of Dan’s universe either, but for once, she doesn’t want to. She knows she is important enough that she actually affects his decisions.
To be fair, Chuck had made considerable efforts. After he had made his decisions, he always tried to see how he could negotiate them with her. Before they had been together, Chuck had never taken anyone into account so it had been progress. However, with Dan, even though he doesn’t make his decisions solely according to her, he takes her into account when he makes them (sometimes it’s as stupid as buying that green tea she likes and other times it’s deciding not to go to Warwick in England for a semester and stay with her in New York instead).
And she doesn’t even have to wonder if he’s considering her because every time she looks at him, Blair can see herself swimming in his eyes and knows that she’s there even when she’s not looking.
22. Sun
He has always been partial to blondes, especially blondes with long hair. Dan is pretty sure that’s what first caught his eye about Serena Van der Woodsen. It’s like blondes walk around with the sun in their hair. He’s always been attracted to sunlight. He will sit at the sunny part of an outdoor table. He likes to lie in the sun at Central Park. His idea of best vacation spot is the Caribbean or Rome. The sun’s warm and comforting.
But when he’s lying naked in bed with Blair Waldorf, Dan feels that nothing is more warm and comforting than Blair’s soft body wrapped around his.
23. Nurse
At the end of August, Dan gets really sick.
Who gets the flu in August?
At first, he quarantines himself at the loft, miserable and alone. When Blair doesn’t hear from him for two days (and he doesn’t pick up his phone), she goes to Brooklyn (she spends way too much time there) to see what’s going on. She goes straight to Dan’s room when she lets herself in (she knows where he hides the extra key). It’s dark and smelly and she wrinkles her nose as soon as she steps in. She looks at Dan’s half-conscious form on the bed and around the room, assessing the situation. Without a word she leaves the room and looks around the loft until she finds a closet. Opening it, she smiles, satisfied to have found what she had been looking for. Dan was so predictable. She grabs some clean sheets and goes back to Dan’s room. She orders him to get up and take a shower. He groans, ill and exhausted, but she’s unmoved. A little grumpiness isn’t going to scare her away. She simply grabs his comforter and yanks at it, causing him to roll on the floor. He moans in pain and she just scoffs at his protests. Sensing that there’s no point arguing against Blair Waldorf, Dan does as told.
While he takes his shower, Blair changes his sheets and opens his curtains, letting light into the room. It isn’t a particularly hot day (there was a breeze when she left this morning) so she opens a window to let some fresh air in. Honestly, how is he going to get better without any fresh air? She grabs clean boxer shorts and a t-shirt, and puts them on the bed. She takes all dishes and cutlery scattered around the room and brings them to the kitchen. She starts the kettle before going back to the room with a trash bag. Grabbing all discarded used tissues and other trash, she cleans his room quickly and efficiently. Focused on the task at hand, the fact that she is grabbing dirty, germy trash with her bare hands doesn’t even register. Dan wouldn’t get better until he was in a clean, aired room. She would never understand why boys were such idiots when it came to simple things.
When Dan comes back to his room, he shows his surprise at the rapid transformation. Blair doesn’t acknowledge it and instead shows him the clean clothes she laid out for him. She goes to the kitchen to prepare a cup of hot water with honey and lemon, but notices that he doesn’t have any lemons or lemon juice. She goes to the corner store to get a bottle of lemon juice and some flu medicine. At the store, she notices the magazine rack and takes a few magazines for him. Cosmo grabs her eyes and she hesitates. She should really get back to the city. She needs to get ready for school. Besides, there isn’t much she can do for Dan anyway. She did all she could and at this point, he just has to wait it out.
She grabs the magazine (and Elle and Vogue).
When she comes back, she prepares the cup of hot honey and lemon water and also fills a glass with lukewarm water. When she takes everything to his room, Dan is lying in bed, already looking a lot better than when she first arrived earlier that day. She orders him to take the pills and drink the hot water. When he’s done as she requested (Dan was always so obedient, even sick), she hands him the magazines she had bought for him. He smiles in gratitude and thanks her for everything, assuring her he will call her as soon as he feels better.
Ignoring his comment, she takes her shoes off, grabs the Cosmo she just bought, and sits on the bed next to him. She quickly glances at Dan and she isn’t sure if he’s more surprised or happy that she’s staying.
She isn’t even resentful when she gets the flu a week later and misses the first week of class. She has Dan by her side the whole time.
24. Rage
Their first fight is about Serena.
Dan finds it disconcerting to have so much anger directed at him. During all these years of non-friendship, frenemies, fake-friendship, real friendship and actually dating, Blair has never been really angry with him. This new experience is far from pleasant. He’s always known that Blair has an inferiority complex toward Serena but he hadn’t thought that it would infiltrate into his relationship with Blair. How naïve he had been.
So when Blair feels insecure about him being chummy with Serena, Dan is tempted to explain to Blair in great details how his friendship with Serena doesn’t threaten his relationship with her.
Then he remembers the conversations he had days on end with Serena about their relationship to always come back to the same point, the same argument. So instead of giving Blair a compassionate, heartfelt explanation, Dan simply states that he’s with Blair, that if Serena would ask him tomorrow, next week, next month (and even next year, but he doesn’t tell Blair that in fear of scaring her away) to choose between her and Blair, he would choose Blair without a moment’s hesitation. He tells her that she has to accept this as he has never given her reason to doubt him, that she has to trust him and that he wasn’t discussing this again with her.
It promptly ends the argument and Blair never brings up Dan’s history with Serena again.
25. Challenging
She’s the first one to say ‘I love you’. When she began dating Dan, she had always assumed that if they ever got to that point, Dan would be the first one to say the three words; he’s the writer, the dreamer, the romantic. Of course he was going be the first one to say them.
She doesn’t say the words in the throes of passion, nor over a romantic dinner or movie. Neither does she say them unintentionally, letting it slip before she’s ready to say them. They are at their favorite café (exactly halfway between Columbia and NYU); he’s writing an essay on a Yeats’ 1916 while she’s reading an article for her journalism class. Between two pages, she looks up at him; he’s frowning in concentration (Yeats wasn’t the easiest poet to study), which she finds incredibly adorable. She grabs his hand and squeezes it gently, whispering the three little words so only he can hear them. He looks up immediately as she says them and gives her a dazzling smile that makes her heart skip a beat. He leans over the table and kisses her, whispering the exact same words to her.
It hadn’t been a straight road for them to get to this point and she has a feeling that the road ahead is quite a winding road.
She doesn’t mind; she’s ready.
~o~
The End
~o~
I've spent such a long time on this thing. Please tell me which words were your favourites. I'll give you a cookie :)