[Magic Kaito] Storybook Mysteries: Twelve Dancing Princesses
Title: Storybook Mysteries: Twelve Dancing Princesses
Author: Icka! M. Chif
Rating: Teen, for innuendo
Word Count: 4848 not bad for starting this last night
Author's Note: Okay, I lied. We are writing stuff other than our NaNo project. CURSE YOU angl3brt!!!!
Summary: Follow up to Glass Slippers and Jaken and the Bean stalk. Saguru's hunting for twelve girls who vanish during the night.
+++
Saguru opened his eyes, taking stock of the bedroom he had been loaned for the night. He couldn't see anything that had been shifted from when he had closed his eyes, but it didn't hurt to check.
He sat up, pulling his handkerchief out of his pocket and spat into it, removing the last of the bitter taste of the sleeping pill he'd been slipped. Idiots. As if he wouldn't recognise the effects of a soporific after all this time spent chasing the Kaitou Kid.
Outside of the room, he could hear muffled squeals and shouts of a floor full of girls getting ready to slip from their dorm rooms.
Not for the first time, Saguru wondered about the place he was supposedly working for. Every night, all twelve college girls from the Crackernuts Dorms would disappear. Every morning, the girls would be found in their rooms, their shoes all worn out or broken.
It was enough to make the elderly gentleman who ran the place suspicious and ask for police help. The police had searched the dorms, but they had found no sign of how the girls disappeared. The security system showed no signs of tampering, nor had anyone seen anyone anyone entering or leaving the residence.
Yet the girls still disappeared.
And they refused to say anything about their mysterious disappearances. And since they weren't pressing charges or offering explanations, the police could do little. But Saguru, as a private detective, could provide answers to put the old man's mind at ease.
Although he did question the elderly man's judgement, putting a high school teenage boy in a side room on a floor of young women. More for his protection than theirs, after what he had just experienced. He had -not- been expecting the leader of the girls to try to slip him some sleeping powder in a cup of coffee. Fortunately he had seen through that on the first sip and feigned sleep, the girls leaving him alone and laughing at his stupidity.
They'd see who would be laughing at whose stupidity in the end.
Saguru slipped from the bed, sneaking to the door. The girls were almost finished getting dressed, he could hear them gathering in the other room. He peered out the slightly open door, noticing that the room that he was adjoined to was nearly empty, there was just one girl in the room.
One girl, who was moving someone to the head of the bed and hiding the body with a covering of pillows.
That could not be good.
He moved from the doorway, slinking across the room. He grabbed the girl and flipped her onto the empty bed, pinning her down.
"Tantei-san?!" A very masculine voice exclaimed from the female form pinned beneath him. "What are you doing here?!"
"Kid?" Saguru stared down at the 'young woman' in the fancy dress beneath him. "What am I doing here? What are YOU doing here?! I should arrest you for breaking and entering, and assaulting people in their homes!"
"She looked like she needed the rest." Kid said with an insolent smirk as the thief's gaze travelled up Saguru's form, back down and up again. Saguru blushed as he realised their positions. He currently had the Kaitou Kid's hands pinned above his head, his legs straddling the thief's waist. He quickly released the thief, scrabbling backwards on the bed.
"Thank you." Kid smirked, a lecherous leer that looked out of place on the girl's face he was wearing. The thief flipped the long hair of a dark wig over his... her... --dammit, he never knew which gender to refer the thief as when the Kid crossdressed-- HIS shoulder. "And as to answer your question, I'm here to check out their huge...."
Kid paused, looking down at his hands in mild surprise. The thief had apparently forgotten about his current appearance and his hands were resting on his protruding prosthetic breasts. Saguru blinked. Kid blinked. Kid squeezed the cleavage. It squished slightly.
"... Tracks of land?" Saguru filled in.
"Jewels, actually." Kid said absentmindly, groping himself. The breasts jiggled as he did so, providing a very pervasive distraction. "Wanted to see if there were any worth sending a heist note in for..."
"Would you please stop that?" Saguru snapped.
"Sorry." Kid poked the breasts again, a proud grin on his face. "I just realised I did a good job making these. Wanna feel?"
"No." Saguru pinched his eyes shut. Although the offer was slightly tempting on a tactile level. Not that he'd ever admit it out loud to the mischievous thief. "Thank you."
Kid shrugged, silently communicating 'your loss'. "Anyway. What are you doing here?"
"I was asked to look into their disappearances." Saguru sat back as Kid reached over and finished hiding the sleeping girl he was impersonating. "How long have you been here?"
"Few days. I've tried following them twice before." Kid explained, satisfied with his hiding job and reaching up to fiddle with the wig. "Couldn't track where they were going, so I figured I'd try the sneak approach."
"How fortuitous." Saguru muttered dryly, glancing around as the volume outside increased. Further discussion was delayed as he found himself pushed down onto the mattress, Kid leaning over him. Saguru twisted his head so he could see the thief.
The bedroom door creaked behind him as Kid smiled vacantly, all signs of the thief gone, replaced by the illusion of a college girl getting ready for a night on the town. "Get a move on!" A girl's voice insisted from the door. "It's time!"
"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Kid waved at the other person as other footsteps thundered past. "I just had to find the earring I dropped!"
"Whatever. Hurry up!" The person at the door walked away, high heels clacking on the hard floor.
The party girl persona faded, replaced by the Kid's serious expression as the thief stepped away from the bed. "Are you going to attempt to arrest me tonight, Tantei-san?" Kid inquired, just the slightest bit of mocking in his tone, as if Saguru could -try- it, but it wouldn't succeed.
Saguru thought about it for a moment, then sighed. If he tried to arrest the Kid now, it would be loud and noisy which would reveal to the girls that he'd faked his slumber, which would blow his chance to find out what was going on. "No." He growled surlily. "I will do so at another time."
"Excellent." Kid grinned back, as if he had realised the position Saguru's was in long before Saguru had. "I'm going to be at the back of the pack. Follow me if you can without getting caught."
Saguru nodded, quickly committing the thief's clothing to memory. Blues this time, a short navy blue dress, high at the bottom, low at the top, a long pale blue coat over that was laced tight at the waist, flaring out at the elbows and waist. Brown hair down to the mid-back, half up in a bun, silver jewellery. From the glimpses of the other girls, all of them were in different colours, so he shouldn't be too terribly hard to spot in a crowd.
"Nice legs." He commented as Kid quickly slipped into a pair of high heels that made the thief's legs look even longer.
"Thanks." Kid smirked. "Bit of a suggestion? Ditch the coat. It's too identifiable."
And then the Kid was out the door, proficiently teetering on heels that made Saguru dizzy just to look at. Saguru sighed, then rose from the bed, removing his inverness coat as he had been bid. He made a quick trip to his assigned room, shifting the pillows on the bed to at least the minor illusion of occupancy and leaving his inverness on top. The weather wasn't too terribly cold anyway and he'd be fine in his usual suit. He cast a small grateful thought to what ever had made him decide to wear black today.
A pair of footsteps thundered by, the voices gathering in the room next door. Saguru crept to the doorway, ears straining for clues as to what was going on.
"Everyone here?" The leader of the girls called over the muffled symphony of whispers and giggles. Affirmatives were given. "Did someone check on our guest?"
Saguru stiffen, ready to flee back to room he had just left when the voice the Kid had been imitating earlier spoke up. "I did. He's still out. Sleeping like a baby." The last was said in a mocking sing-song which caused twitters of amusement from the rest of the crowd. Saguru relaxed, creeping forward once more.
"Alright then." The leader said, bringing the mocking laughter to a halt. "If we're ready, here we go."
He carefully stuck his head out of the doorway, looking into the room the other girls were in. Through the mass of people, he could see the leader press against part of her bed, the bed shifting away from the wall and revealing a rectangular hole in the floor. The leader stepped into the hole without hesitation, walking downward as if she were going down a flight of spiral stairs. The next girl started down as soon as the Leader disappeared.
As the Kid had promised, he stayed at the back of the crowd. The pack of girls trickled down, talking softly among themselves and laughing gleefully, obviously looking forward to where they were going. When the last girl went down, the Kid glanced around and motioned for Saguru to follow, before walking down the staircase himself.
Saguru did so, pausing at the stop of the staircase to pull out his mobile phone and taking a picture of the hidden exit first before descending the stairs. The staircase was metal and looked like it folded up when the cover was closed due to a system of counter weights. He tried to follow as quietly as possible and despite the soft soles on his shoes, he still managed to make more noise going down than the Kid did in high heels. He wasn't entirely certain if it was himself or Kid's doing, but they managed to get their footsteps in synch with each other.
"Do you hear something strange?" The girl in front of the Kid inquired casually. Saguru twitched, nearly missing a step. "The stairs sound odd."
"Nope." Kid replied cheerfully. "It's probably just getting old. -Or you're hearing things."
"Yeah." Said the girl in front of the one who had asked about the question. "Remember how much noise it made when we first came down here? I thought it was going to collapse under us or something."
The conversation shifted to near accidents going down a small spiral staircase in dim light while wearing platform shoes and three inch heels. Saguru, not for the first time, wondered just how insane was the female brain in order to wear such torture devices, no matter how sexy some people thought they looked. He much preferred flattering, but practical clothing.
There was silver light at the bottom of the stairs, illuminating what looked like the branch of a maintenance tunnel. Kid paused a few steps away from the staircase, fiddling with his shoes. Saguru understood why as soon as he stepped off the staircase, the metal creaking as it spun and retracted upwards. Fortunately the other girls did not appear to notice the delay in the staircase's disappearance as they toddled eagerly down the tunnel.
Kid's eyes flickered in his direction briefly before the thief followed, hips swaying and a pouting cry of "Wait for me~!" Saguru paused again to take a picture of the silver illuminated tunnel before following behind at a decent distance. The lights changed from silver to a goldish colour, and he took another picture. The pace picked up as they passed through the golden tunnels. The light changed again from gold to a bright white, the walls sparkling like diamonds. He took a picture of these tunnels as well and then nearly revealing himself when the tunnels suddenly stopped, opening up into what was probably an underground garage.
He stepped back into what little shadows there were, observing a line of limousines picking the girls up. Each one got into a limousine as it pulled up, one girl per car. Kid once again hung back, approaching the last car as it pulled up. The thief made a startled exclamation, pointing at something off to one side as he motioned Saguru forward with the other hand. Saguru scurried forward, diving into the open door as Kid made squealing comments about huge revulsive rats.
Kid climbed into the limousine, still whinging about rats as he closed the door behind them. The limousine pulled away, driving off into the night.
"You okay?" Kid whispered in his normal voice as he settled himself on the back seat, daintily crossing one leg over the other. Saguru sat on the floor, hopefully out of sight of the driver.
"Fine." Saguru sighed, running a hand down his face. He felt slightly grungy after the walk through the tunnels, despite the lack of stink or filth. "You?"
"Peachy." Kid smirked, tossing the long hair over his shoulder again.
Saguru nodded. Of course Kid was fine, he thought mockingly to himself. It wouldn't do to show weakness in front of a detective. -Or vice versa, for Saguru to show weakness in front of the thief. Despite their current... non-arrangement, they still were enemies. He was supposed to be catching this idiot, not following his lead without question. "Any idea where we're going?"
"Vaguely." Kid spread out the fingers of one hand, inspecting his nails. "I'm afraid you may not like it however."
That brought Saguru's eyebrows up. "Oh?"
Kid smiled back. It would have been a sweet expression if it had been anyone else other than the Kaitou Kid under that mask. "Never mind." Saguru muttered. He'd find out when they got there.
Finding out didn't take incredibly long, the limousine stopped by an apartment building, the door opening for an attractive young man in his early twenties. Kid smiled and posed coquettishly at his appearance, something that slightly disturbed Saguru. He was more disturbed however by the man's greeting upon entering the car. "Your prince is here!"
"How sweet." Kid tittered as the door shut. And then sprayed the man in the face with a small aerosol can Saguru was not entirely sure where the thief had pulled it from, nor was he going to inquire too deeply about.
"Think you're about the same size?" Kid asked, raising an eyebrow. Saguru glanced at the sleeping man. Yes, they were. Kid smirked. "Good. Shirt off."
"... What?"
"You'll stand out too much like that." Kid explained, stripping the shirt and coat off of the sleeping man with a speed that spoke of much practice. "Do you need a hand?"
"No." Saguru quickly peeled off his coat and worked on unbuttoning his shirt cuffs. Kid tossed him the burgundy silk shirt, the fabric draping itself over Saguru's face. He pulled it off, wrinkling his nose at the stench of too much cologne. "This shirt stinks."
"Trust me, the rest of this joker don't smell much better." Kid commented with a wrinkled nose of his own as Saguru untucked his shirt from his trousers. "Hurry up."
"I'm hurrying." Saguru grumbled, not bothering to unbutton his shirt, merely undoing the first few buttons and pulling it over his head. He pulled on the dark red shirt, fastening the cuffs.
"Don't tuck the shirt in." Kid advised, shifting the sleeping man towards Saguru. "You can put your coat on if you want."
Saguru frowned, but did as he had been bid. Kid passed him the sleeping man and Saguru moved him to the front of the limo where he could sleep off the gas. He caught sight of his reflection in the glass and his frowned deepened. "I look like a pimp." He grumbled.
"Good. It means that you don't look like a detective." Kid approved, patting the seat next to him. Saguru sat down with an annoyed grunt. The thief smiled back, spinning sideways so his legs draped across Saguru's lap in a much too friendly gesture. Kid made a kissy face at him before pulling a pair of dark sunglasses from somewhere and deftly setting them on Saguru's face. "Now pretend that you're young, handsome and rich."
"In case it has escaped your attention," Saguru drawled arrogantly, situating the sunglasses more comfortably on his face. "I -am- young, handsome and rich."
Kid laughed, a low amused sound that had no trace of mockery in it. "That's the spirit." The thief patted him on the head, ruffling his hair. "Just keep that attitude up."
"Hmm." Saguru raised an eyebrow. "Out of curiosity, just how far were you able to follow them before?"
"Enough to know that the limousines go to different houses each night." Kid smirked back. "But not enough to follow where they go."
"What do you-" He was cut off as he realised that they had entered a parking garage. He looked out to realise that they were going underground, away from prying eyes. And the lower they went, the more exits out of the garage there were. "Oh."
Kid chuckled. "Relax. You're just a young stud out on a night on the town with a gorgeous woman on his arm."
"That's what you say." Saguru muttered, a dark nervous feeling coiling in his gut. There was something about this situation that beginning to not feel right. But then he should have thought of that before he got into the limo with an internationally wanted thief. He'd never been very good at undercover work, preferring the straightforward and even blunt technique. If there was anything straightforward about detective work.
The thief just laughed, the girl's voice as he ran a hand down Saguru's shirt, feeling the fabric. Saguru shivered at the feeling of smooth silk against his flesh, reminding himself that the Kaitou Kid was just playing a role. Playing the role a heck of a lot more convincingly than Saguru was.
Going to a new house every night meant that the girls weren't going to go see their boyfriends, unless they had a new boyfriend every night of the week.
"Just how much are you going to tease me about this when this is over?" He questioned darkly, putting a hand on the Kid's leg, just below the knee.
Kid waved an admonishing finger. "I'm not really here, am I? No note, no top hat, no monocle. Relax, Tantei-san. This is merely the most expedient way for us to both learn what we seek."
Saguru almost relaxed. And then the limousine slowed down, coming to a stop. The door opened by itself and Saguru climbed out, offering a hand to his 'date' for the night. All signs of the thief was gone as the 'young woman' took his hand, accepting his help out of the car. Saguru tucked her arm in his as they walked down the dimly lit corridor, towards the noise of a party going on.
The sign above the door inside read 'The Castle' in glowing neon. Saguru thought it was slightly tacky until he stepped inside. It was something out of a cheesy fairy tale, tiny spinning lights, gauzy fabrics draped from the ceiling and a loud base beat that vibrated his bones.
Kid gave him a flirtatious girlish smile. "Shall we dance?" He inquired, pulling Saguru by the arm out on to the dance floor. Saguru glanced out at the other couples that were dancing on the floor. It resembled vertical sex with their clothes on more than any sort of dancing that Saguru knew.
"Kid." Saguru hissed. "I don't know how to dance like that."
"It's easy." Kid assured him. "Just think of it as a variation of the Tango."
Saguru eyed one couple who looked like they had been glued together from the lips down. "That is -not- how you Tango."
"Depends on who you ask." Kid quipped as he spun Saguru around and pulled him forward until their bodies were almost flush. "Now, put your hands on my hips." Kid instructed with a faint teasing air and Saguru did as he'd been bid. Kid put his hands on Saguru's hips, pulling them flush, much to Saguru's embarrassment.
Kid's voice was a sultry purr in his ear. "Right, now move as I do." Kid tugged on Saguru's hips as the thief's hips moved backwards, moving in a circular motion. Saguru swallowed as they repeated the motion. "Good." Kid smirked at him, hands sliding up Saguru's sides until the thief had his arms draped over Saguru's shoulders. "Now keep doing that."
All things considered, Saguru much preferred the more structured 'One-Two-Three' of a waltz.
Especially when he realised with the intimate press of his body against the Kid's, that the thief was missing an important anatomical part below the waist.
His mind went blank for a little while, gibbering in phantom pain.
It took him a bit to scrape his brain-cells back together agian. "Um..." He cleared his throat when he could finally speak. "You're... uh... missing...."
Kid smiled back. "The others are heading off the dance floor. Shall we?"
"I... uh..." He plastered a bland expression on his face as he allowed the Kid to escort him off the floor. A good number of the girls and their partners were trickling off down a corridor on the side. They followed, Saguru quietly relieved for the slight distance to try to get his brain functioning on some level other than in his pants.
Kid escorted him to a room off to the side that had the number twelve written on it. Apparently each of these 'Princesses' were numbered instead of named. The inside of the room was not much better, resembling nothing much more than a high-class love hotel suite. He was vaguely grateful the bed was not heart-shaped.
Kid shut the door behind them, leaning against it with a smirk. "It's tucked between my legs." Kid assured him, not even bothering to hide his amusement. "I'm still intact, every thing's still where it should be."
Saguru breathed a quick sigh. "Somehow, that's both a relief and too much information." He hadn't considered that option, visions of grisly dismemberment floating through his brain. Too many murder cases lately.
"It does make speaking in a higher octave easier." Kid casually shrugged, apparently comfortable with the concept of having his family jewels squished. Saguru wince and reflectively move to protect his crotch. He was never crossdressing. Never never never. "You find everything out that you needed to?"
"It's an escort service." Saguru sighed, finding a chair and sitting down in it. "The girls don't say anything because they're probably making a good amount of money off of it."
"Enough to replace their shoes every day anyway." Kid smirked.
"Bet you Mummy and Daddy wouldn't approve if they found out what the girls were up to." Saguru ran a hand down his face. "Hence the subterfuge."
"Hmm." Kid nodded, standing with one hip cocked. "Well, if you've got your answers, I'm going to go get mine."
"What? WAIT!" Saguru leaped out of the chair and ran towards the theif. Kid grinned and twisted the door open, stepping backwards, the door shutting behind him. Saguru hit the door and bounced. He grabbed the doorknob and tried to turn it. It wouldn't budge. "DAMMIT! Open the door!!!"
"Shhhh!" Kid warned in a sing-song voice. "I'll be right back~!"
Saguru bit off a curse, stepping back from the door. He didn't know who the girls were supposedly working for, but chances were they would not be pleased to find a detective in their midst.
He settled for exploring the room, taking pictures of the room with his mobile as evidence. It didn't take him terribly long before he had exhausted his search and settled down in a chair, putting a small glass in his coat pocket for further proof. He fiddled with his mobile, disappointed to discover he didn't get reception service here.
Fortunately, he did have solitaire on his phone. He got through three games when the door opened up again. Kid stuck his head through and wiggled his fingers at Saguru. Saguru glared back. Kid skipped inside room, shutting the door behind him. "Find what you were looking for?" Saguru drawled.
Kid kicked off the high heeled dress shoes and plopped down into one of the other chairs with a disappointed air. "All those jewels and you'd think they'd get something over five carats." He bemoaned.
Making tonight a loss for the Kaitou Kid, there was nothing worth holding his attention. "Quantity over quality?" Saguru snarked.
"Precisely." Kid shook his head. "People these days. Now in the old days, people would go after the largest sparkly they could and stick it in a big fancy setting and call it good. But no, not the new money. Must -diversify- and all."
"Amazing." Saguru commented, closing down his game. "And people say that size doesn't matter these days."
He got an assessing look in return. "Little sore at being left behind, are we?" Kid inquired dryly. Saguru ignored him. Kid chuckled. "On the positive side, the party ends at three and we all turn into happy little pumpkins."
"Oh, goodie." Saguru pulled out his pocket watch and checked it. He could have looked at his mobile phone, but that defeated the purpose of having a good pocket watch. "And that leaves us... about two hours."
Kid pulled a deck of cards from somewhere, shuffling the cards from one hand to the other. "Know any good card games?" The thief smirked.
Saguru smirked back. "A few."
+++
"Good morning, Hakuba-kun!" Aoko chirped as he staggered into class that morning. He should have just skipped school today, it wasn't like it would hurt his grades too terribly much. "You look..." She stumbled for the correct word.
"Like death warmed over?" Kuroba offered, propping his chin up on one hand. He, of course, didn't look like he gone without sleep all last night. There were times when Saguru could gleefully strangle both Kuroba and Kid.
"As if I have not slept at all last night?" Saguru filled in, setting his bag down on the desk. "Then you would be correct."
Aoko grimaced. "A case?" She inquired.
"Yes. One whose primary focus was -not- the Kaitou Kid for a change." He sat down in his chair, not bothering with the pretence of energy as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He and the Kid had spent a pleasant enough time sniping back and forth at each other while playing various card games. Not poker, due to the fact that Kid had the unusual habit of winning every single hand. Same with black jack. As a consequence, they'd ended up playing mostly games that he could remember from his childhood. Old Maid, Crazy Eights and his new personal favourite, Go Fish.
Kid flinched every so slightly whenever he told the thief to 'Go Fish'.
Then it had been back to the car, waking up the comatose 'Prince' in time to toss him in front of his door and back to the tunnels. Kid had done a bit of fancy shuffling to keep the other girls distracted while Saguru ran like mad ahead of them, back to the staircase. He'd lost precious time trying to find the lever to drop the spiral staircase back down, then finally found by twisting one of the lamps before beginning the dizzying ascent. He could hear voices below by the time he'd reached the top, the entire mechanism sliding back into place behind him.
From there, he'd dove back into the bed he'd been loaned for the night, pulling the covers up and snoring like Nakamori-keibu after a drunken After-Heist party. Which had been enough to fool the exhausted girls as they'd stumbled into their beds. He hadn't been able to sleep, finally moving from the bed after the morning alarms had gone off shortly after sunrise. The girls questioned him, their taunts ringing in his ears him after he said he'd seen nothing.
And then he'd gone and talked to the old man, showing him the proof he had collected. The old man had taken the cup and thanked him.
Then it had been time for school. He'd had a big cup of coffee on the way in and that had been about it as far as nutrition this morning. And now he could feel himself practically vibrating from the caffeine rush. As soon as that faded, he was going to be falling face first onto the desk, fast asleep.
How the girls managed to go to college during the day and partying all night without crashing hard was a mystery he hadn't been able to solve.
"Anything exciting?" Aoko inquired.
Saguru propped his head up on a hand. "I got to dance with a pretty lady again." He smirked slightly.
Aoko bounced. "The same one from last time?"
One of Kuroba's eyebrows twitched upwards. Saguru's smirk widened.
"Possibly."
Although now he wondered... did he owe the Kid for this latest adventure, or did the Kid owe him?
-fin-
Notes:
Grimms' Brothers 12 Dancing Princesses and the historical notes.
We tried to keep the evidence as close to the original as possible. (Tapping the bed to make it move, the Silver Branch, the Gold Branch, the Diamond Branch and the goblet from the party.)
'Crackernuts Dorms' was named after a female version of this story, 'Katie Crackernuts', because it amused us.
Author: Icka! M. Chif
Rating: Teen, for innuendo
Word Count: 4848 not bad for starting this last night
Author's Note: Okay, I lied. We are writing stuff other than our NaNo project. CURSE YOU angl3brt!!!!
Summary: Follow up to Glass Slippers and Jaken and the Bean stalk. Saguru's hunting for twelve girls who vanish during the night.
+++
Saguru opened his eyes, taking stock of the bedroom he had been loaned for the night. He couldn't see anything that had been shifted from when he had closed his eyes, but it didn't hurt to check.
He sat up, pulling his handkerchief out of his pocket and spat into it, removing the last of the bitter taste of the sleeping pill he'd been slipped. Idiots. As if he wouldn't recognise the effects of a soporific after all this time spent chasing the Kaitou Kid.
Outside of the room, he could hear muffled squeals and shouts of a floor full of girls getting ready to slip from their dorm rooms.
Not for the first time, Saguru wondered about the place he was supposedly working for. Every night, all twelve college girls from the Crackernuts Dorms would disappear. Every morning, the girls would be found in their rooms, their shoes all worn out or broken.
It was enough to make the elderly gentleman who ran the place suspicious and ask for police help. The police had searched the dorms, but they had found no sign of how the girls disappeared. The security system showed no signs of tampering, nor had anyone seen anyone anyone entering or leaving the residence.
Yet the girls still disappeared.
And they refused to say anything about their mysterious disappearances. And since they weren't pressing charges or offering explanations, the police could do little. But Saguru, as a private detective, could provide answers to put the old man's mind at ease.
Although he did question the elderly man's judgement, putting a high school teenage boy in a side room on a floor of young women. More for his protection than theirs, after what he had just experienced. He had -not- been expecting the leader of the girls to try to slip him some sleeping powder in a cup of coffee. Fortunately he had seen through that on the first sip and feigned sleep, the girls leaving him alone and laughing at his stupidity.
They'd see who would be laughing at whose stupidity in the end.
Saguru slipped from the bed, sneaking to the door. The girls were almost finished getting dressed, he could hear them gathering in the other room. He peered out the slightly open door, noticing that the room that he was adjoined to was nearly empty, there was just one girl in the room.
One girl, who was moving someone to the head of the bed and hiding the body with a covering of pillows.
That could not be good.
He moved from the doorway, slinking across the room. He grabbed the girl and flipped her onto the empty bed, pinning her down.
"Tantei-san?!" A very masculine voice exclaimed from the female form pinned beneath him. "What are you doing here?!"
"Kid?" Saguru stared down at the 'young woman' in the fancy dress beneath him. "What am I doing here? What are YOU doing here?! I should arrest you for breaking and entering, and assaulting people in their homes!"
"She looked like she needed the rest." Kid said with an insolent smirk as the thief's gaze travelled up Saguru's form, back down and up again. Saguru blushed as he realised their positions. He currently had the Kaitou Kid's hands pinned above his head, his legs straddling the thief's waist. He quickly released the thief, scrabbling backwards on the bed.
"Thank you." Kid smirked, a lecherous leer that looked out of place on the girl's face he was wearing. The thief flipped the long hair of a dark wig over his... her... --dammit, he never knew which gender to refer the thief as when the Kid crossdressed-- HIS shoulder. "And as to answer your question, I'm here to check out their huge...."
Kid paused, looking down at his hands in mild surprise. The thief had apparently forgotten about his current appearance and his hands were resting on his protruding prosthetic breasts. Saguru blinked. Kid blinked. Kid squeezed the cleavage. It squished slightly.
"... Tracks of land?" Saguru filled in.
"Jewels, actually." Kid said absentmindly, groping himself. The breasts jiggled as he did so, providing a very pervasive distraction. "Wanted to see if there were any worth sending a heist note in for..."
"Would you please stop that?" Saguru snapped.
"Sorry." Kid poked the breasts again, a proud grin on his face. "I just realised I did a good job making these. Wanna feel?"
"No." Saguru pinched his eyes shut. Although the offer was slightly tempting on a tactile level. Not that he'd ever admit it out loud to the mischievous thief. "Thank you."
Kid shrugged, silently communicating 'your loss'. "Anyway. What are you doing here?"
"I was asked to look into their disappearances." Saguru sat back as Kid reached over and finished hiding the sleeping girl he was impersonating. "How long have you been here?"
"Few days. I've tried following them twice before." Kid explained, satisfied with his hiding job and reaching up to fiddle with the wig. "Couldn't track where they were going, so I figured I'd try the sneak approach."
"How fortuitous." Saguru muttered dryly, glancing around as the volume outside increased. Further discussion was delayed as he found himself pushed down onto the mattress, Kid leaning over him. Saguru twisted his head so he could see the thief.
The bedroom door creaked behind him as Kid smiled vacantly, all signs of the thief gone, replaced by the illusion of a college girl getting ready for a night on the town. "Get a move on!" A girl's voice insisted from the door. "It's time!"
"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Kid waved at the other person as other footsteps thundered past. "I just had to find the earring I dropped!"
"Whatever. Hurry up!" The person at the door walked away, high heels clacking on the hard floor.
The party girl persona faded, replaced by the Kid's serious expression as the thief stepped away from the bed. "Are you going to attempt to arrest me tonight, Tantei-san?" Kid inquired, just the slightest bit of mocking in his tone, as if Saguru could -try- it, but it wouldn't succeed.
Saguru thought about it for a moment, then sighed. If he tried to arrest the Kid now, it would be loud and noisy which would reveal to the girls that he'd faked his slumber, which would blow his chance to find out what was going on. "No." He growled surlily. "I will do so at another time."
"Excellent." Kid grinned back, as if he had realised the position Saguru's was in long before Saguru had. "I'm going to be at the back of the pack. Follow me if you can without getting caught."
Saguru nodded, quickly committing the thief's clothing to memory. Blues this time, a short navy blue dress, high at the bottom, low at the top, a long pale blue coat over that was laced tight at the waist, flaring out at the elbows and waist. Brown hair down to the mid-back, half up in a bun, silver jewellery. From the glimpses of the other girls, all of them were in different colours, so he shouldn't be too terribly hard to spot in a crowd.
"Nice legs." He commented as Kid quickly slipped into a pair of high heels that made the thief's legs look even longer.
"Thanks." Kid smirked. "Bit of a suggestion? Ditch the coat. It's too identifiable."
And then the Kid was out the door, proficiently teetering on heels that made Saguru dizzy just to look at. Saguru sighed, then rose from the bed, removing his inverness coat as he had been bid. He made a quick trip to his assigned room, shifting the pillows on the bed to at least the minor illusion of occupancy and leaving his inverness on top. The weather wasn't too terribly cold anyway and he'd be fine in his usual suit. He cast a small grateful thought to what ever had made him decide to wear black today.
A pair of footsteps thundered by, the voices gathering in the room next door. Saguru crept to the doorway, ears straining for clues as to what was going on.
"Everyone here?" The leader of the girls called over the muffled symphony of whispers and giggles. Affirmatives were given. "Did someone check on our guest?"
Saguru stiffen, ready to flee back to room he had just left when the voice the Kid had been imitating earlier spoke up. "I did. He's still out. Sleeping like a baby." The last was said in a mocking sing-song which caused twitters of amusement from the rest of the crowd. Saguru relaxed, creeping forward once more.
"Alright then." The leader said, bringing the mocking laughter to a halt. "If we're ready, here we go."
He carefully stuck his head out of the doorway, looking into the room the other girls were in. Through the mass of people, he could see the leader press against part of her bed, the bed shifting away from the wall and revealing a rectangular hole in the floor. The leader stepped into the hole without hesitation, walking downward as if she were going down a flight of spiral stairs. The next girl started down as soon as the Leader disappeared.
As the Kid had promised, he stayed at the back of the crowd. The pack of girls trickled down, talking softly among themselves and laughing gleefully, obviously looking forward to where they were going. When the last girl went down, the Kid glanced around and motioned for Saguru to follow, before walking down the staircase himself.
Saguru did so, pausing at the stop of the staircase to pull out his mobile phone and taking a picture of the hidden exit first before descending the stairs. The staircase was metal and looked like it folded up when the cover was closed due to a system of counter weights. He tried to follow as quietly as possible and despite the soft soles on his shoes, he still managed to make more noise going down than the Kid did in high heels. He wasn't entirely certain if it was himself or Kid's doing, but they managed to get their footsteps in synch with each other.
"Do you hear something strange?" The girl in front of the Kid inquired casually. Saguru twitched, nearly missing a step. "The stairs sound odd."
"Nope." Kid replied cheerfully. "It's probably just getting old. -Or you're hearing things."
"Yeah." Said the girl in front of the one who had asked about the question. "Remember how much noise it made when we first came down here? I thought it was going to collapse under us or something."
The conversation shifted to near accidents going down a small spiral staircase in dim light while wearing platform shoes and three inch heels. Saguru, not for the first time, wondered just how insane was the female brain in order to wear such torture devices, no matter how sexy some people thought they looked. He much preferred flattering, but practical clothing.
There was silver light at the bottom of the stairs, illuminating what looked like the branch of a maintenance tunnel. Kid paused a few steps away from the staircase, fiddling with his shoes. Saguru understood why as soon as he stepped off the staircase, the metal creaking as it spun and retracted upwards. Fortunately the other girls did not appear to notice the delay in the staircase's disappearance as they toddled eagerly down the tunnel.
Kid's eyes flickered in his direction briefly before the thief followed, hips swaying and a pouting cry of "Wait for me~!" Saguru paused again to take a picture of the silver illuminated tunnel before following behind at a decent distance. The lights changed from silver to a goldish colour, and he took another picture. The pace picked up as they passed through the golden tunnels. The light changed again from gold to a bright white, the walls sparkling like diamonds. He took a picture of these tunnels as well and then nearly revealing himself when the tunnels suddenly stopped, opening up into what was probably an underground garage.
He stepped back into what little shadows there were, observing a line of limousines picking the girls up. Each one got into a limousine as it pulled up, one girl per car. Kid once again hung back, approaching the last car as it pulled up. The thief made a startled exclamation, pointing at something off to one side as he motioned Saguru forward with the other hand. Saguru scurried forward, diving into the open door as Kid made squealing comments about huge revulsive rats.
Kid climbed into the limousine, still whinging about rats as he closed the door behind them. The limousine pulled away, driving off into the night.
"You okay?" Kid whispered in his normal voice as he settled himself on the back seat, daintily crossing one leg over the other. Saguru sat on the floor, hopefully out of sight of the driver.
"Fine." Saguru sighed, running a hand down his face. He felt slightly grungy after the walk through the tunnels, despite the lack of stink or filth. "You?"
"Peachy." Kid smirked, tossing the long hair over his shoulder again.
Saguru nodded. Of course Kid was fine, he thought mockingly to himself. It wouldn't do to show weakness in front of a detective. -Or vice versa, for Saguru to show weakness in front of the thief. Despite their current... non-arrangement, they still were enemies. He was supposed to be catching this idiot, not following his lead without question. "Any idea where we're going?"
"Vaguely." Kid spread out the fingers of one hand, inspecting his nails. "I'm afraid you may not like it however."
That brought Saguru's eyebrows up. "Oh?"
Kid smiled back. It would have been a sweet expression if it had been anyone else other than the Kaitou Kid under that mask. "Never mind." Saguru muttered. He'd find out when they got there.
Finding out didn't take incredibly long, the limousine stopped by an apartment building, the door opening for an attractive young man in his early twenties. Kid smiled and posed coquettishly at his appearance, something that slightly disturbed Saguru. He was more disturbed however by the man's greeting upon entering the car. "Your prince is here!"
"How sweet." Kid tittered as the door shut. And then sprayed the man in the face with a small aerosol can Saguru was not entirely sure where the thief had pulled it from, nor was he going to inquire too deeply about.
"Think you're about the same size?" Kid asked, raising an eyebrow. Saguru glanced at the sleeping man. Yes, they were. Kid smirked. "Good. Shirt off."
"... What?"
"You'll stand out too much like that." Kid explained, stripping the shirt and coat off of the sleeping man with a speed that spoke of much practice. "Do you need a hand?"
"No." Saguru quickly peeled off his coat and worked on unbuttoning his shirt cuffs. Kid tossed him the burgundy silk shirt, the fabric draping itself over Saguru's face. He pulled it off, wrinkling his nose at the stench of too much cologne. "This shirt stinks."
"Trust me, the rest of this joker don't smell much better." Kid commented with a wrinkled nose of his own as Saguru untucked his shirt from his trousers. "Hurry up."
"I'm hurrying." Saguru grumbled, not bothering to unbutton his shirt, merely undoing the first few buttons and pulling it over his head. He pulled on the dark red shirt, fastening the cuffs.
"Don't tuck the shirt in." Kid advised, shifting the sleeping man towards Saguru. "You can put your coat on if you want."
Saguru frowned, but did as he had been bid. Kid passed him the sleeping man and Saguru moved him to the front of the limo where he could sleep off the gas. He caught sight of his reflection in the glass and his frowned deepened. "I look like a pimp." He grumbled.
"Good. It means that you don't look like a detective." Kid approved, patting the seat next to him. Saguru sat down with an annoyed grunt. The thief smiled back, spinning sideways so his legs draped across Saguru's lap in a much too friendly gesture. Kid made a kissy face at him before pulling a pair of dark sunglasses from somewhere and deftly setting them on Saguru's face. "Now pretend that you're young, handsome and rich."
"In case it has escaped your attention," Saguru drawled arrogantly, situating the sunglasses more comfortably on his face. "I -am- young, handsome and rich."
Kid laughed, a low amused sound that had no trace of mockery in it. "That's the spirit." The thief patted him on the head, ruffling his hair. "Just keep that attitude up."
"Hmm." Saguru raised an eyebrow. "Out of curiosity, just how far were you able to follow them before?"
"Enough to know that the limousines go to different houses each night." Kid smirked back. "But not enough to follow where they go."
"What do you-" He was cut off as he realised that they had entered a parking garage. He looked out to realise that they were going underground, away from prying eyes. And the lower they went, the more exits out of the garage there were. "Oh."
Kid chuckled. "Relax. You're just a young stud out on a night on the town with a gorgeous woman on his arm."
"That's what you say." Saguru muttered, a dark nervous feeling coiling in his gut. There was something about this situation that beginning to not feel right. But then he should have thought of that before he got into the limo with an internationally wanted thief. He'd never been very good at undercover work, preferring the straightforward and even blunt technique. If there was anything straightforward about detective work.
The thief just laughed, the girl's voice as he ran a hand down Saguru's shirt, feeling the fabric. Saguru shivered at the feeling of smooth silk against his flesh, reminding himself that the Kaitou Kid was just playing a role. Playing the role a heck of a lot more convincingly than Saguru was.
Going to a new house every night meant that the girls weren't going to go see their boyfriends, unless they had a new boyfriend every night of the week.
"Just how much are you going to tease me about this when this is over?" He questioned darkly, putting a hand on the Kid's leg, just below the knee.
Kid waved an admonishing finger. "I'm not really here, am I? No note, no top hat, no monocle. Relax, Tantei-san. This is merely the most expedient way for us to both learn what we seek."
Saguru almost relaxed. And then the limousine slowed down, coming to a stop. The door opened by itself and Saguru climbed out, offering a hand to his 'date' for the night. All signs of the thief was gone as the 'young woman' took his hand, accepting his help out of the car. Saguru tucked her arm in his as they walked down the dimly lit corridor, towards the noise of a party going on.
The sign above the door inside read 'The Castle' in glowing neon. Saguru thought it was slightly tacky until he stepped inside. It was something out of a cheesy fairy tale, tiny spinning lights, gauzy fabrics draped from the ceiling and a loud base beat that vibrated his bones.
Kid gave him a flirtatious girlish smile. "Shall we dance?" He inquired, pulling Saguru by the arm out on to the dance floor. Saguru glanced out at the other couples that were dancing on the floor. It resembled vertical sex with their clothes on more than any sort of dancing that Saguru knew.
"Kid." Saguru hissed. "I don't know how to dance like that."
"It's easy." Kid assured him. "Just think of it as a variation of the Tango."
Saguru eyed one couple who looked like they had been glued together from the lips down. "That is -not- how you Tango."
"Depends on who you ask." Kid quipped as he spun Saguru around and pulled him forward until their bodies were almost flush. "Now, put your hands on my hips." Kid instructed with a faint teasing air and Saguru did as he'd been bid. Kid put his hands on Saguru's hips, pulling them flush, much to Saguru's embarrassment.
Kid's voice was a sultry purr in his ear. "Right, now move as I do." Kid tugged on Saguru's hips as the thief's hips moved backwards, moving in a circular motion. Saguru swallowed as they repeated the motion. "Good." Kid smirked at him, hands sliding up Saguru's sides until the thief had his arms draped over Saguru's shoulders. "Now keep doing that."
All things considered, Saguru much preferred the more structured 'One-Two-Three' of a waltz.
Especially when he realised with the intimate press of his body against the Kid's, that the thief was missing an important anatomical part below the waist.
His mind went blank for a little while, gibbering in phantom pain.
It took him a bit to scrape his brain-cells back together agian. "Um..." He cleared his throat when he could finally speak. "You're... uh... missing...."
Kid smiled back. "The others are heading off the dance floor. Shall we?"
"I... uh..." He plastered a bland expression on his face as he allowed the Kid to escort him off the floor. A good number of the girls and their partners were trickling off down a corridor on the side. They followed, Saguru quietly relieved for the slight distance to try to get his brain functioning on some level other than in his pants.
Kid escorted him to a room off to the side that had the number twelve written on it. Apparently each of these 'Princesses' were numbered instead of named. The inside of the room was not much better, resembling nothing much more than a high-class love hotel suite. He was vaguely grateful the bed was not heart-shaped.
Kid shut the door behind them, leaning against it with a smirk. "It's tucked between my legs." Kid assured him, not even bothering to hide his amusement. "I'm still intact, every thing's still where it should be."
Saguru breathed a quick sigh. "Somehow, that's both a relief and too much information." He hadn't considered that option, visions of grisly dismemberment floating through his brain. Too many murder cases lately.
"It does make speaking in a higher octave easier." Kid casually shrugged, apparently comfortable with the concept of having his family jewels squished. Saguru wince and reflectively move to protect his crotch. He was never crossdressing. Never never never. "You find everything out that you needed to?"
"It's an escort service." Saguru sighed, finding a chair and sitting down in it. "The girls don't say anything because they're probably making a good amount of money off of it."
"Enough to replace their shoes every day anyway." Kid smirked.
"Bet you Mummy and Daddy wouldn't approve if they found out what the girls were up to." Saguru ran a hand down his face. "Hence the subterfuge."
"Hmm." Kid nodded, standing with one hip cocked. "Well, if you've got your answers, I'm going to go get mine."
"What? WAIT!" Saguru leaped out of the chair and ran towards the theif. Kid grinned and twisted the door open, stepping backwards, the door shutting behind him. Saguru hit the door and bounced. He grabbed the doorknob and tried to turn it. It wouldn't budge. "DAMMIT! Open the door!!!"
"Shhhh!" Kid warned in a sing-song voice. "I'll be right back~!"
Saguru bit off a curse, stepping back from the door. He didn't know who the girls were supposedly working for, but chances were they would not be pleased to find a detective in their midst.
He settled for exploring the room, taking pictures of the room with his mobile as evidence. It didn't take him terribly long before he had exhausted his search and settled down in a chair, putting a small glass in his coat pocket for further proof. He fiddled with his mobile, disappointed to discover he didn't get reception service here.
Fortunately, he did have solitaire on his phone. He got through three games when the door opened up again. Kid stuck his head through and wiggled his fingers at Saguru. Saguru glared back. Kid skipped inside room, shutting the door behind him. "Find what you were looking for?" Saguru drawled.
Kid kicked off the high heeled dress shoes and plopped down into one of the other chairs with a disappointed air. "All those jewels and you'd think they'd get something over five carats." He bemoaned.
Making tonight a loss for the Kaitou Kid, there was nothing worth holding his attention. "Quantity over quality?" Saguru snarked.
"Precisely." Kid shook his head. "People these days. Now in the old days, people would go after the largest sparkly they could and stick it in a big fancy setting and call it good. But no, not the new money. Must -diversify- and all."
"Amazing." Saguru commented, closing down his game. "And people say that size doesn't matter these days."
He got an assessing look in return. "Little sore at being left behind, are we?" Kid inquired dryly. Saguru ignored him. Kid chuckled. "On the positive side, the party ends at three and we all turn into happy little pumpkins."
"Oh, goodie." Saguru pulled out his pocket watch and checked it. He could have looked at his mobile phone, but that defeated the purpose of having a good pocket watch. "And that leaves us... about two hours."
Kid pulled a deck of cards from somewhere, shuffling the cards from one hand to the other. "Know any good card games?" The thief smirked.
Saguru smirked back. "A few."
+++
"Good morning, Hakuba-kun!" Aoko chirped as he staggered into class that morning. He should have just skipped school today, it wasn't like it would hurt his grades too terribly much. "You look..." She stumbled for the correct word.
"Like death warmed over?" Kuroba offered, propping his chin up on one hand. He, of course, didn't look like he gone without sleep all last night. There were times when Saguru could gleefully strangle both Kuroba and Kid.
"As if I have not slept at all last night?" Saguru filled in, setting his bag down on the desk. "Then you would be correct."
Aoko grimaced. "A case?" She inquired.
"Yes. One whose primary focus was -not- the Kaitou Kid for a change." He sat down in his chair, not bothering with the pretence of energy as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He and the Kid had spent a pleasant enough time sniping back and forth at each other while playing various card games. Not poker, due to the fact that Kid had the unusual habit of winning every single hand. Same with black jack. As a consequence, they'd ended up playing mostly games that he could remember from his childhood. Old Maid, Crazy Eights and his new personal favourite, Go Fish.
Kid flinched every so slightly whenever he told the thief to 'Go Fish'.
Then it had been back to the car, waking up the comatose 'Prince' in time to toss him in front of his door and back to the tunnels. Kid had done a bit of fancy shuffling to keep the other girls distracted while Saguru ran like mad ahead of them, back to the staircase. He'd lost precious time trying to find the lever to drop the spiral staircase back down, then finally found by twisting one of the lamps before beginning the dizzying ascent. He could hear voices below by the time he'd reached the top, the entire mechanism sliding back into place behind him.
From there, he'd dove back into the bed he'd been loaned for the night, pulling the covers up and snoring like Nakamori-keibu after a drunken After-Heist party. Which had been enough to fool the exhausted girls as they'd stumbled into their beds. He hadn't been able to sleep, finally moving from the bed after the morning alarms had gone off shortly after sunrise. The girls questioned him, their taunts ringing in his ears him after he said he'd seen nothing.
And then he'd gone and talked to the old man, showing him the proof he had collected. The old man had taken the cup and thanked him.
Then it had been time for school. He'd had a big cup of coffee on the way in and that had been about it as far as nutrition this morning. And now he could feel himself practically vibrating from the caffeine rush. As soon as that faded, he was going to be falling face first onto the desk, fast asleep.
How the girls managed to go to college during the day and partying all night without crashing hard was a mystery he hadn't been able to solve.
"Anything exciting?" Aoko inquired.
Saguru propped his head up on a hand. "I got to dance with a pretty lady again." He smirked slightly.
Aoko bounced. "The same one from last time?"
One of Kuroba's eyebrows twitched upwards. Saguru's smirk widened.
"Possibly."
Although now he wondered... did he owe the Kid for this latest adventure, or did the Kid owe him?
-fin-
Notes:
Grimms' Brothers 12 Dancing Princesses and the historical notes.
We tried to keep the evidence as close to the original as possible. (Tapping the bed to make it move, the Silver Branch, the Gold Branch, the Diamond Branch and the goblet from the party.)
'Crackernuts Dorms' was named after a female version of this story, 'Katie Crackernuts', because it amused us.