(no subject)
I have seriously been through this emotional roller coaster for the past two weeks. With James dying, me loosing my job and trying to scramble and find another AND trying to scower money together for my trip to Texas I just want to take life and kick it in the crotch. Repeatedly. Nothing is worse then having to explain to people all day that James committed suicide and people kind of suck. They are like vultures, picking at the body. "When is he gonna sell his collection, can we look through it?" I DONT FUCKING KNOW PEOPLE, Let the family mourn for Christs sake. Jesus fuck.
I seriously have been feeling the urge to just roll up and cry for two weeks now but it just isn't coming out. I have been trying to cry for a while now and its just not working. I know I had a hard time getting my emotions out before but this is fucking ridiculous.
And the worst part is seeing others get really emotionally open bout whats going on and I just dont have that capability. I usually run from that touchy feely shit cause im like a god damn robot and Everything is just working badly. Im tired, soooo tired of everything.
These last posts have been nothing but ANGST. Ugh. Oh and this guy like, yelled at me on the phone today because of what happened to james. "WHY DIDNT ANYNE TELL ME- I HAD MY SHIT AT HIS HOUSE WHEN AM I GOING TO GET THAT- HIS EX WIFE IS A BITCH." Ugh. If I only had to deal with one day of this stuff I can only pray and hope Jesse is doing better then I . H has to go through this every day.
Texas. I will be there on tuesday. TUESDAY.
I seriously have been feeling the urge to just roll up and cry for two weeks now but it just isn't coming out. I have been trying to cry for a while now and its just not working. I know I had a hard time getting my emotions out before but this is fucking ridiculous.
And the worst part is seeing others get really emotionally open bout whats going on and I just dont have that capability. I usually run from that touchy feely shit cause im like a god damn robot and Everything is just working badly. Im tired, soooo tired of everything.
These last posts have been nothing but ANGST. Ugh. Oh and this guy like, yelled at me on the phone today because of what happened to james. "WHY DIDNT ANYNE TELL ME- I HAD MY SHIT AT HIS HOUSE WHEN AM I GOING TO GET THAT- HIS EX WIFE IS A BITCH." Ugh. If I only had to deal with one day of this stuff I can only pray and hope Jesse is doing better then I . H has to go through this every day.
Texas. I will be there on tuesday. TUESDAY.