Till the Day after Forever (oneshot)
Till the Day after Forever
YooSu, Yoochun-centric, PG
songfic (DBSK's For Now), angstangstangst, AU
Yoochun, being the emotional one that he is, recalled the day when he met his 'everything.' And he continues to promise himself--to love Junsu till the day after forever.
With my small broken heart I can now tell you everything.
You taught me 'beginning' and I don't want to let you go again.
Gray sky, rain littering everywhere. It was like a movie, so clichéd, when I met you. No other people were seen, only you and I. Hushed whispers, incoherent mumbling. I would really never deny it but I have never said it once, but now I will, for all the world to know--your smile, it makes my world brighter than the sun could; more fresher than the day the world was created; and more livelier than a party under the wonderful moonlight.
I never even noticed that I was already soaking wet until you sheltered me with your umbrella. One smile and I melted. I'll never forget that day - when you and I first met.
I know we're meant to be.
You invited me to a dinner at one of your favorite restaurants. A ramen stall, was it? It was peaceful, an aura of coziness and gentleness. I still remember the old man, the owner of the stall, that continued his constant teasings to us. He said that we were a wonderful couple, so happy indeed. I was taken aback at first, but when I looked at you and your kind gaze towards me, even though we just met for only an hour, I knew we were fated for each other.
Perhaps we would be together as the man has said? It isn't bad to believe, right?
I can't believe it.
When I open my eyes in this different morning...
A special day awaits me.
We stayed in contact for the next few months. Became friends with constant bickering and laughter; became best friends next. It was wonderful; it was undeniably nice. It made my heart flutter for you more, eratically. I couldn't contain my feelings. I knew then, that time when you talked to me on the phone that certain night when I was having a fever, when you adamantly ran to my house that you entered with a badly scraped knee from falling because of worrying too much--I love you. I loved you so much that I could have died.
It may have been unromantic back then, but I didn't care, not if I was all flushed because of my sickness and I couldn't take the proximity that we shared. You were beside me, on my bed, hugging the life out of me. I could have fainted from the heat at that time, did you know? A sigh, it unconsciously escaped my lips. You looked at me from your position and sent me a curious glance. I smiled, and without thinking of what words to say, I confessed.
'Ah, I love you. So much, you don't know how; you don't know when,' and all those crap. It was cheesy, it was greasy but I didn't mind it. As long as I was able to let you know of my undying feelings. They were hard to contain, you know? Seeing you smile at me most of the time. It was my weakness other than your wonderful voice that drives me to the edge of pure happiness.
I just love everything about you, and I would want - hope - to stay by your side forever.
Do you know that
I've waited for you to share my nights forever
You smiled at me, oh so lovingly that my tears couldn't hide. I cried, that time, while you hugged me so tight. I could never wish for anything anymore. It was you and me. It was ecstacy.
I wiped my tears off and smiled so wide at you. Later on, all I knew was that I was kissing you to sleep, your words resonating on my mind.
“I love you, and I would want to be with you till the day after forever.”
Only like right now... Then I will never cry....
And so that you can always live inside my heart.
In this world, in that place this can't be the end of us.
But life can't always be so high and happy, can it? Your smile, your beautiful voice, my beautiful you, on an unfateful day, I almost lost them. A car crash, that stupid clichéd event. Why must it take all lives of those who were happy? Why must it separate you from me?
Our life was indeed like a movie, going on unending circles, all with the drama and angst. If all shows had their happy endings, would we be able to have it too?
Oh, how I wish.
And now, here I am, sitting on the edge of the bed you've been sleeping for far too long. It's been six painful months, won't you ever wake up and smile at me again? Greet me good morning like you always do when I wake up with you beside me? Laugh at me when I become my clumsy self? Say 'I love you,' every second of every minute of every day?
A tear fell. Another. And another. And another. And another.
I gathered you in my arms once more, as I always do everyday, and whisper those three words that will never, ever, cease to go away. I'll always love you. I promised you that right? You did too.
We'll love each other till the day after forever.
Wherever that place where you've stepped might be,
I'll be standing there.
But fate may be really an ass, I curse it - back then, I don't think I have the courage to hate it now - it took you away from me. As soon as I whispered those three words once more, I heard a long beep. Looking at the monitor at your left, my broken heart shattered more like it could never had before.
I broke down. I cried. I hugged you tighter, and I cried much more. You were so thin within my embrace. Your face so pale. You were as light as a feather.
It was sickening.
I screamed and roared, like a lion that was caught by hunters. It hurts, it freaking hurts.
I thought you'd stay by my side.
Only like right now... Then I will never cry....
And so that you can always live inside my heart.
In this world, in that place this can't be the end of us.
It's too early for me for a seperation.
Here I am, a year after, back to my old self. I laughed at myself. I wish I could have moved on and became more successful before I met you, but no, I'm still my normal self. Don't worry, I've moved on from the pain. I learned from it - I started to walk on my own two feet again. It was indeed painful back then, like thousands of needles prickling my heart. But the happy memories we shared with each other pushed me to take up my mat, stand up, and walk. Your smile, it never faded. To be more precise, it became my battery, my energy to move, my life, my everything.
Because that's it right? I'll love you till the day after forever. Forever, will it end? No, it won't. Never. I recalled and chuckled at the memory of you telling me those words.
No, it won't. Never.
Forever won't ever end, right? I'll still continue to love you, you should too, or else I'll be grumbling back to you again.
It would be unfair if you stop loving me. You promised me.
I love you, remember that okay?
At the end of my wandering,
I've realized the miracle-like love (that you gave me)
I actually asked myself before, looking at the picture that occupied my bedside table, a picture of a smiling you and me--Hey, this is just a dream, right? A dream. I'd soon wake up from it, right? But then I laughed bitterly at myself. What dream? This is reality, idiot.
I sighed and smiled, even though those thoughts occupied my mind most of the time, those negative words. But then again, I remind myself that...
Hey, Junsu. Hey. We'd meet again, right? And that would be when I see your beautiful smile again, won't it? I can't wait for that.
Hey, Junsu. Hey. I love you, alright? I love you. Don't forget that okay? I'll love you … till the day after forever.
Only like right now... Then I will never cry....
And so that you can always live inside my heart.
In this world, in that place this can't be the end of us.
I know we're meant to be.