Crucial Reality of Life
Title: Crucial Reality of Life
Pairing(s): KyuMin
Rating: G
Genre: Angst/Romance
Summary: He felt weak and empty. Always thinking that he's alone; that he doesn't have anyone to seek comfort with. But something unexpected happened. Would he survive through all the pain?
Disclaimer: I never owned anything from these stories of mine, excluding the plot and writing style, of course.
BETA: partyincloud9
“No matter how tough you are, sometimes you can also become so weary.”
- Jung Yunho
Among all the Super Junior members, Sungmin is the one who's branded the strongest of them all. He is not as tough as Kim Youngwoon when it comes to fighting (even though his martial arts skill can harm anyone) nor is he like Kim Heechul that could make you whimper in fear with just one glare from his eyes. Instead, it is Sungmin's perseverance to hide his sadness that makes him strong. He doesn't cry whenever they win at award shows. He doesn't tear up when the members fight with each other. No, he doesn't do that. He isn't that weak. Sungmin is the one who wipes his fellow members' tears. He is the one who stops them from fighting, crying, and the like. He was given that role - so who was he to cry?
But every person, every human being isn't perfect. They all have flaws. Imperfections. Mistakes. Weaknesses. And they're still scared of stuffs they haven't encountered fully in their lives. Even the strong Lee Sungmin has those; he is only a mere human being created by God after all. He still needs someone for him to lean on. He needs someone to cry out all his feelings to. But who would that person be if he is the only one who's strong enough to smile even though the problems are overloading? Who would be that person that could tell Sungmin that it's going to be okay if he is the only one who stays firm for all his fellow members? Lee Sungmin is the pillar of Super Junior. With that fact, would there be someone who would tell him that he's not going to leave him no matter the costs are?
Sungmin thinks that no one could be there for him to embrace him when he feels lonely. He thinks that no one could survive accepting all of his imperfections when in fact he is the one who stays strong for his fellow members.
No one.
Well, in reality, that's what Sungmin thinks. Every person in the world has someone to hold onto. May it be directly or indirectly, noticeable or unnoticeable. We just need to wait or find him/her. That person is definitely there. Believe. Have faith. You are not alone. He or she will come sooner or later.
~**~
Sungmin ran. He ran and ran to the white-colored tiles as he heard the bad news. Tired, anxious, and astonished. All emotions were whirling inside him, and he wasn't sure on how to think. Gasping for breath, he placed his right hand on the gray wall of the hospital, his other was placed on his knee, supporting him so that he won't fall from exhaustion.
You see, Sungmin just came from his training when he heard that his Leeteuk hyung, Shindong hyung, Hyukjae, and Kyuhyun had an accident. They were all riding their van back home when their ride toppled over due to an unknown reason. He heard that Shindong and Hyukjae were injured but not too severe - thank the Lord - though Leeteuk really looked worn out and he was in a bad condition. Kyuhyun - oh no, not Kyuhyun; not my bestfriend, please - he only had 20% chance of living. And when Sungmin heard this, he immediately ran to the said hospital where they were, not caring of the shouts from his manager and fellow members to come back.
It wasn't Kyuhyun who's going to die, right? He's at home playing Starcraft, for sure! Kyuhyun is going to be alive. Kyu... my Kyuhyun.. he isn't going to die, right? Right?
Breaking his bottle of emotions, Sungmin slid down the wall, his palm hurting from the heat he was making with the wall. He cried endlessly, not caring whether there were people noticing him. It didn't matter that he is Super Junior's Lee Sungmin. He doesn't give a damn that he's a popular person and the press might see him at any second, announcing to the whole world that popular boy band Super Junior's strongest person cried in front of the public or whatnot. It's Kyuhyun's life in danger here. No, when you actually think about it, it's Sungmin's life who's going to be miserable. Without his snarky younger brother - without Cho Kyuhyun entirely - his life would be ruined. Scratch that Kyuhyun is only his best friend. Scratch that they're only co-members. Sungmin loved Kyuhyun, he still does. Without Kyuhyun by his side, he was sure, that he won't be able to comfort Super Junior when they cry anymore. He would be the one to do otherwise. He realized - even before; he just didn't want to admit it - that Kyuhyun, being by his side always, was his pillar. He was the one who keeps Sungmin strong. Whenever Kyuhyun smiles, Sungmin would be filled with energy, like a broken digital clock being recharged by a battery. Sungmin would be able to erase all the problems and find a solution for it after. He had Kyuhyun so he was firm. Simply to be put, with Kyuhyun there beside him, he could face anything, whatever it is. Anything.
What would happen now that he knew that his one and only pillar would leave him alone? He doesn't know. He isn't in his right mind. What would he do? He wasn't sure.
He leaned with his back and threw his head on the wall. His eyes showed no emotions. It was empty, passionless, a black hole - it looked like it will suck you any second when you keep on staring at it. Sungmin's dephtless pool of brown and watery, doe eyes seemed to vanish. He was like a doll now. He was numb. He felt nothing. He sees nothing; nothing but pain and misery. Those blue balloons? His pink things? Nemo's orange color? Kyuhyun's brown - or red, he wasn't sure now - hair? His bunny's rose pink color? Nah, he doesn't remember any of those. They were all black and white now. Gray, white, black; those are the only colors he could see now. Red? Pink? Orange? Green? Pearl Sapphire Blue? How do they look like? I don't remember them.
He slowly closed his eyes, feeling the negative air immerse him. He heaved a deep breath and sighed. Is this the right thing to do? He breathed again, but never exhaled. He wished to die. He wants to die. He ne...
“Sungmin! Min! Wake up!”
...he needs to wake up.
He pried his eyes open and saw Kyuhyun hovering above him. “You had that dream again, didn't you?” the younger asked. Sungmin looked at those wonderful eyes of his lover and nodded slowly, feeling too weak to even mouth a word.
Suddenly, Kyuhyun embraced him fully. The younger buried his face on the crook of the elder's neck and pulled the latter flush against his chest. Sungmin blushed as Kyuhyun sighed, the former feeling the breath of his lover tickling the skin of his neck.
“Don't make me so worried, Min-ah. I won't die. I'm still here. You have me,” he said, pushing Sungmin a little as to look at the tear-striken face of his lover. “You trust me, right? You can trust me, I assure you. You don't have to be strong in front of me. In fact, you can cry all you want, and I will listen and hug you, comfort you till you get all better, hmm?”
Tears started to pool Sungmin's red eyes. “But that would only prove that I'm weak!” he childishly said. (He becomes like a five-year-old child in front of his lover. No more explanation on the reasons why.)
Kyuhyun frowned and cupped Sungmin's cheeks. “Why are you saying that again? You're just human, Min! You have flaws! You aren't perfect! It's okay to feel weak sometimes,” he countered back, his tears slowly falling down from his eyes. “You've been strong enough. Now...” he trailed off and sighed, “Just...please; please trust me, Min. You can cry in front of me. I would not brand you as a weak person. You're the strongest person I've seen in my whole life. You haven't cried when you were supposed to. You smiled and comforted us when it was us who needed to do otherwise. You helped me with all your heart even though you were in pain,” Kyuhyun rambled, looking at his lap. He looked directly at his lover's eyes, wondering how they could still be so majestic even though they were already covered with tears. “Sungmin, you can cry in front of me. Please. I don't want to see you suffer by bottling those emotions inside you. You have me. Just....please.”
With those words, Sungmin broke. He hugged Kyuhyun tightly and just let his tears flow endlessly. He hasn't done this before, but why does he feel so light? Why does he feel that it's going to be okay? Is it because it's Kyuhyun? He doesn't know. But, for sure, he'll cherish this moment forever.
“Thank you, Kyu. Thank you. Thank you so much,” he chanted and mumbled on Kyuhyun's chest, his voice incoherent from his crying.
Kyuhyun hugged him tighter, squeezing him in the process, and kissed his forehead, his eyelids, his cheeks, nose, hair, and his sweet lips. “I'll do anything for you, Lee Sungmin. You're my everything. I wouldn't stand it if I see my lifecrying or hurting. I love you too much for that. I love you, Lee Sungmin. I love you, very, very much.” He pecked his lover's lips for the second time. “Cry all you want in front of me; I'm always here for you. Whatever you encounter, I'll always be here. I won't leave you. I'm right here whatever happens, okay?”
Sungmin smiled, the first time that night, and kissed his lover's lips - longer this time, then Kyuhyun followed suit and claimed Sungmin's strawberry-flavored lips again.
“I love you too,” he mumbled on his lover's lips as soon as they parted and gasped for air. "So much. I love you, Kyuhyun. Seriously.... Thank you."
'Red? Pink? Orange? Green? Pearl Sapphire Blue? How do they look like? ….Now I know, for sure. They're the color of my relationship with Kyuhyun - full of emotions, trust and happiness. Well, the color white still stayed, and it's a color I will treasure for it is a sign of purity - my lover's love for me.'
There are times when you need to break down. To let your body be loose, even for a bit, and also, to cry and ask for another person's help. Any being wouldn't be able to live without another; someone's always there. In times of need; in times of happiness; in times of idiocy; in times of playfulness. There are always people beside or behind you. Clear your eyes, take off those blinds, and make them see the true world around you. Do not - never - be blinded by thoughts that you think are important, but in any sense...doesn't. Breathe, let loose, and just live the life you have without any regret. In the end, you'll see that someone's always there beside you, in any time and place.
After all, we are just mere and imperfect human beings, aren't we?
A/N: Comments? Reviews? Thanks!
Pairing(s): KyuMin
Rating: G
Genre: Angst/Romance
Summary: He felt weak and empty. Always thinking that he's alone; that he doesn't have anyone to seek comfort with. But something unexpected happened. Would he survive through all the pain?
Disclaimer: I never owned anything from these stories of mine, excluding the plot and writing style, of course.
BETA: partyincloud9
“No matter how tough you are, sometimes you can also become so weary.”
- Jung Yunho
Among all the Super Junior members, Sungmin is the one who's branded the strongest of them all. He is not as tough as Kim Youngwoon when it comes to fighting (even though his martial arts skill can harm anyone) nor is he like Kim Heechul that could make you whimper in fear with just one glare from his eyes. Instead, it is Sungmin's perseverance to hide his sadness that makes him strong. He doesn't cry whenever they win at award shows. He doesn't tear up when the members fight with each other. No, he doesn't do that. He isn't that weak. Sungmin is the one who wipes his fellow members' tears. He is the one who stops them from fighting, crying, and the like. He was given that role - so who was he to cry?
But every person, every human being isn't perfect. They all have flaws. Imperfections. Mistakes. Weaknesses. And they're still scared of stuffs they haven't encountered fully in their lives. Even the strong Lee Sungmin has those; he is only a mere human being created by God after all. He still needs someone for him to lean on. He needs someone to cry out all his feelings to. But who would that person be if he is the only one who's strong enough to smile even though the problems are overloading? Who would be that person that could tell Sungmin that it's going to be okay if he is the only one who stays firm for all his fellow members? Lee Sungmin is the pillar of Super Junior. With that fact, would there be someone who would tell him that he's not going to leave him no matter the costs are?
Sungmin thinks that no one could be there for him to embrace him when he feels lonely. He thinks that no one could survive accepting all of his imperfections when in fact he is the one who stays strong for his fellow members.
No one.
Well, in reality, that's what Sungmin thinks. Every person in the world has someone to hold onto. May it be directly or indirectly, noticeable or unnoticeable. We just need to wait or find him/her. That person is definitely there. Believe. Have faith. You are not alone. He or she will come sooner or later.
~**~
Sungmin ran. He ran and ran to the white-colored tiles as he heard the bad news. Tired, anxious, and astonished. All emotions were whirling inside him, and he wasn't sure on how to think. Gasping for breath, he placed his right hand on the gray wall of the hospital, his other was placed on his knee, supporting him so that he won't fall from exhaustion.
You see, Sungmin just came from his training when he heard that his Leeteuk hyung, Shindong hyung, Hyukjae, and Kyuhyun had an accident. They were all riding their van back home when their ride toppled over due to an unknown reason. He heard that Shindong and Hyukjae were injured but not too severe - thank the Lord - though Leeteuk really looked worn out and he was in a bad condition. Kyuhyun - oh no, not Kyuhyun; not my bestfriend, please - he only had 20% chance of living. And when Sungmin heard this, he immediately ran to the said hospital where they were, not caring of the shouts from his manager and fellow members to come back.
It wasn't Kyuhyun who's going to die, right? He's at home playing Starcraft, for sure! Kyuhyun is going to be alive. Kyu... my Kyuhyun.. he isn't going to die, right? Right?
Breaking his bottle of emotions, Sungmin slid down the wall, his palm hurting from the heat he was making with the wall. He cried endlessly, not caring whether there were people noticing him. It didn't matter that he is Super Junior's Lee Sungmin. He doesn't give a damn that he's a popular person and the press might see him at any second, announcing to the whole world that popular boy band Super Junior's strongest person cried in front of the public or whatnot. It's Kyuhyun's life in danger here. No, when you actually think about it, it's Sungmin's life who's going to be miserable. Without his snarky younger brother - without Cho Kyuhyun entirely - his life would be ruined. Scratch that Kyuhyun is only his best friend. Scratch that they're only co-members. Sungmin loved Kyuhyun, he still does. Without Kyuhyun by his side, he was sure, that he won't be able to comfort Super Junior when they cry anymore. He would be the one to do otherwise. He realized - even before; he just didn't want to admit it - that Kyuhyun, being by his side always, was his pillar. He was the one who keeps Sungmin strong. Whenever Kyuhyun smiles, Sungmin would be filled with energy, like a broken digital clock being recharged by a battery. Sungmin would be able to erase all the problems and find a solution for it after. He had Kyuhyun so he was firm. Simply to be put, with Kyuhyun there beside him, he could face anything, whatever it is. Anything.
What would happen now that he knew that his one and only pillar would leave him alone? He doesn't know. He isn't in his right mind. What would he do? He wasn't sure.
He leaned with his back and threw his head on the wall. His eyes showed no emotions. It was empty, passionless, a black hole - it looked like it will suck you any second when you keep on staring at it. Sungmin's dephtless pool of brown and watery, doe eyes seemed to vanish. He was like a doll now. He was numb. He felt nothing. He sees nothing; nothing but pain and misery. Those blue balloons? His pink things? Nemo's orange color? Kyuhyun's brown - or red, he wasn't sure now - hair? His bunny's rose pink color? Nah, he doesn't remember any of those. They were all black and white now. Gray, white, black; those are the only colors he could see now. Red? Pink? Orange? Green? Pearl Sapphire Blue? How do they look like? I don't remember them.
He slowly closed his eyes, feeling the negative air immerse him. He heaved a deep breath and sighed. Is this the right thing to do? He breathed again, but never exhaled. He wished to die. He wants to die. He ne...
“Sungmin! Min! Wake up!”
...he needs to wake up.
He pried his eyes open and saw Kyuhyun hovering above him. “You had that dream again, didn't you?” the younger asked. Sungmin looked at those wonderful eyes of his lover and nodded slowly, feeling too weak to even mouth a word.
Suddenly, Kyuhyun embraced him fully. The younger buried his face on the crook of the elder's neck and pulled the latter flush against his chest. Sungmin blushed as Kyuhyun sighed, the former feeling the breath of his lover tickling the skin of his neck.
“Don't make me so worried, Min-ah. I won't die. I'm still here. You have me,” he said, pushing Sungmin a little as to look at the tear-striken face of his lover. “You trust me, right? You can trust me, I assure you. You don't have to be strong in front of me. In fact, you can cry all you want, and I will listen and hug you, comfort you till you get all better, hmm?”
Tears started to pool Sungmin's red eyes. “But that would only prove that I'm weak!” he childishly said. (He becomes like a five-year-old child in front of his lover. No more explanation on the reasons why.)
Kyuhyun frowned and cupped Sungmin's cheeks. “Why are you saying that again? You're just human, Min! You have flaws! You aren't perfect! It's okay to feel weak sometimes,” he countered back, his tears slowly falling down from his eyes. “You've been strong enough. Now...” he trailed off and sighed, “Just...please; please trust me, Min. You can cry in front of me. I would not brand you as a weak person. You're the strongest person I've seen in my whole life. You haven't cried when you were supposed to. You smiled and comforted us when it was us who needed to do otherwise. You helped me with all your heart even though you were in pain,” Kyuhyun rambled, looking at his lap. He looked directly at his lover's eyes, wondering how they could still be so majestic even though they were already covered with tears. “Sungmin, you can cry in front of me. Please. I don't want to see you suffer by bottling those emotions inside you. You have me. Just....please.”
With those words, Sungmin broke. He hugged Kyuhyun tightly and just let his tears flow endlessly. He hasn't done this before, but why does he feel so light? Why does he feel that it's going to be okay? Is it because it's Kyuhyun? He doesn't know. But, for sure, he'll cherish this moment forever.
“Thank you, Kyu. Thank you. Thank you so much,” he chanted and mumbled on Kyuhyun's chest, his voice incoherent from his crying.
Kyuhyun hugged him tighter, squeezing him in the process, and kissed his forehead, his eyelids, his cheeks, nose, hair, and his sweet lips. “I'll do anything for you, Lee Sungmin. You're my everything. I wouldn't stand it if I see my lifecrying or hurting. I love you too much for that. I love you, Lee Sungmin. I love you, very, very much.” He pecked his lover's lips for the second time. “Cry all you want in front of me; I'm always here for you. Whatever you encounter, I'll always be here. I won't leave you. I'm right here whatever happens, okay?”
Sungmin smiled, the first time that night, and kissed his lover's lips - longer this time, then Kyuhyun followed suit and claimed Sungmin's strawberry-flavored lips again.
“I love you too,” he mumbled on his lover's lips as soon as they parted and gasped for air. "So much. I love you, Kyuhyun. Seriously.... Thank you."
'Red? Pink? Orange? Green? Pearl Sapphire Blue? How do they look like? ….Now I know, for sure. They're the color of my relationship with Kyuhyun - full of emotions, trust and happiness. Well, the color white still stayed, and it's a color I will treasure for it is a sign of purity - my lover's love for me.'
There are times when you need to break down. To let your body be loose, even for a bit, and also, to cry and ask for another person's help. Any being wouldn't be able to live without another; someone's always there. In times of need; in times of happiness; in times of idiocy; in times of playfulness. There are always people beside or behind you. Clear your eyes, take off those blinds, and make them see the true world around you. Do not - never - be blinded by thoughts that you think are important, but in any sense...doesn't. Breathe, let loose, and just live the life you have without any regret. In the end, you'll see that someone's always there beside you, in any time and place.
After all, we are just mere and imperfect human beings, aren't we?
A/N: Comments? Reviews? Thanks!