Hey Chingu, lets fuck?

[imperfect_demon]

There's a guy I work with. He's quite cute. He's quite promiscuous. He invited me over, claims to be an honorable guy, but he seemingly didn't want to do anything. Cuddling with someone casually, I'd never done that before. Hey I tried to be open but thats totally out of the norm for me. So does that make me prude? I heard that word and got kinda pissed. He did get alot of points for carrying me up the stairs. Bridal style up the stairs. Damn that was impressive. But the word sex came up too many times. Being in someones bed was more than awkward enough. Atleast I would have been more comfortable if we put on a movie or something. I don't want to be some cheap fuck. I've been there and done that. Can't it be just a step up from that? Can't you atleast pretend that you have any care about me as a person? Its not like I can't be swayed pretty easy but wtf put some more effort. YO WALK ME OUT AND WAIT FOR THE BUS. TALK TO ME FFS. Are Hawaiians really so open? Casually touching. I don't know it. He made me lose confidence. I couldn't tell if he was attracted to me or just possibly a willing body. How embarrassing would it have been to play that game with him? What if it did nothing? How embarrassing would that have been? I'm the opposite of him. He does everything casually, while I've only done things intimately. Physical contact without being that familiar isn't my nature. A number of times we were face to face but I didn't want to even kiss. Perhaps I was afraid that would lead to him wanting more. What he must think of me. I'm curious.

But damn he could be so cute. Those Asian eyes.. and lips. Looking at those... But then the personality wasn't there to back it up. I needed slightly more talkitive and playful. It wouldn't have been so weird if it was like the 3rd time meeting outside but for the first time it was weird, and extremely awkward.

AWKWARD JUST THINKING ABOUT MOST OF IT. AHHHHHHHHH

~Death Comes Fast~