bored
im very bored right now. i just got off the fone with u. i dont have a lot to say but its ok. i can still type without thinking. i havnt really been outside in a while and it bugs me. i have to do a lot of physical stuff or else i go crazy and get figity. i did a bunch of crunches today thats bout it. ive really wanted to work out but my shoulder have been killing me for like 3 weeks and i can move my shoulder a certain way or have a sudden movement. so i cant put a lot of weight on it. but i still ball cuz i cant help it.
im callin mark n charlie to see what theyre up to, i dunno if they can do nething, wow i just called and his mom is very mad. craig is fighting with his mom. i just got off with mark cuz he was gonna go calm them down.
newayz they whole only bein friends thing with yasmin seems to be working. even tho i like her
somethin that really intrigues me is how comfortable i am when i hang out with her. its like ive known her forever and it was just so natural bein at her house even tho it was the first time i ever been there. i knew where everything was somehow.
u seem like ur doin really good, which is awesome cuz i dont like u bein unhappy or upset. i still remember when u were.
u remember back then when i was really happy. i still am very pleased with my life. but i dont get that feeling of happiness nemore. i need to get over my lonliness. cuz i have this thing bout me where i gotta be with a friend or be talkin to some1 or else i get lonely. and i needa get over that.
i dont like having the feelings of not wanting to wake up.
and i dont kno y im like that or what can make it better. i dont think its for any reason. perhaps i bottle myself up too much and it affects me. its hard to change that.
this year ive been doin stuff ive never done b4. ive been doing things with the power of my body rather than actually deciding on it. such as not trying nething with yasmin. its not cuz i choose not to, i just wont. same thing bout bein open to meeting some1 new. its not that i decide not to. its just that i close myself up. so now, my actions are overruling any democracy my brain has. because rather than having internal partisan conflicts from a good and bad side. i just act the way i do. and its very odd to me cuz i cant control what i am doing. but those things that i cant control are actually the right things to do.
cept for cloing myself up to meeting some1 new. i dont kno if thats right or wrong. perhaps is neither.
but its good that i dont try nething with yasmin, and how i wear my seatbelt all the time now even if i dont want to. thats the power that stina has over me...
newayz im sorry.
love alwayz, peace
im callin mark n charlie to see what theyre up to, i dunno if they can do nething, wow i just called and his mom is very mad. craig is fighting with his mom. i just got off with mark cuz he was gonna go calm them down.
newayz they whole only bein friends thing with yasmin seems to be working. even tho i like her
somethin that really intrigues me is how comfortable i am when i hang out with her. its like ive known her forever and it was just so natural bein at her house even tho it was the first time i ever been there. i knew where everything was somehow.
u seem like ur doin really good, which is awesome cuz i dont like u bein unhappy or upset. i still remember when u were.
u remember back then when i was really happy. i still am very pleased with my life. but i dont get that feeling of happiness nemore. i need to get over my lonliness. cuz i have this thing bout me where i gotta be with a friend or be talkin to some1 or else i get lonely. and i needa get over that.
i dont like having the feelings of not wanting to wake up.
and i dont kno y im like that or what can make it better. i dont think its for any reason. perhaps i bottle myself up too much and it affects me. its hard to change that.
this year ive been doin stuff ive never done b4. ive been doing things with the power of my body rather than actually deciding on it. such as not trying nething with yasmin. its not cuz i choose not to, i just wont. same thing bout bein open to meeting some1 new. its not that i decide not to. its just that i close myself up. so now, my actions are overruling any democracy my brain has. because rather than having internal partisan conflicts from a good and bad side. i just act the way i do. and its very odd to me cuz i cant control what i am doing. but those things that i cant control are actually the right things to do.
cept for cloing myself up to meeting some1 new. i dont kno if thats right or wrong. perhaps is neither.
but its good that i dont try nething with yasmin, and how i wear my seatbelt all the time now even if i dont want to. thats the power that stina has over me...
newayz im sorry.
love alwayz, peace