Really bad day
Well I went to the doctor today and it didn't turn out good. I am pretty much in his words "on a slide downhill and can't be stopped". He told me today that I might be mis-diagnosed. They want to run all sorts of test again and cut on me some more to see which type of Muscular Dystrophy it is. Like it honestly matters, they all have the same outcome and personally I have been trying like hell to come to terms with that outcome, I gotta say I have failed miserably too. I can no longer safely drive which I probably tend to agree with but I sure do miss it and I have gotten to the point where I need a helper to go with me everywhere to do anything. I feel as thought I lost all of my freedom and the things I love are gone. I love and I mean love my Impala, it was something near and dear to me since my dad and I built it, but now it sits alone and almost forgotten in the garage under the car cover. I am too weak to get out of it from a seating position or put gas in it. I don't want to sell it but I don't know what to do, it's not fair to let it sit and just go bad.
Tell me what is more important, the quality of life or quantity of life? I have always said I would never give up, but you know I have been giving this a lot of thought lately. I know it is hard on my parents seeing me like this and for them having to help me but you know I just don't know what to do anymore, do I try to get into some sort of assisted living housing? If I had only one wish I wish I could be physically normal, or that my disease would take my mind with my body. I read something the other day, it said, "I am ill but I am not dead, I don't know what one is worse though". That is the truth.
Tell me what is more important, the quality of life or quantity of life? I have always said I would never give up, but you know I have been giving this a lot of thought lately. I know it is hard on my parents seeing me like this and for them having to help me but you know I just don't know what to do anymore, do I try to get into some sort of assisted living housing? If I had only one wish I wish I could be physically normal, or that my disease would take my mind with my body. I read something the other day, it said, "I am ill but I am not dead, I don't know what one is worse though". That is the truth.