Hmmm
I don't really know what to write lately as I have been in a funk for a while now. I get to go to the neurologist tomorrow so I can see how things are. I don't need to go see him to know but I guess it satisfies other people. I do believe I will be in a wheelchair permanently by my 35th birthday. That means I have gotten quite weak and I can tell, many things are getting extremely hard for me to do and it sucks. I can no longer get in or out of my Impala as it sits too low, so do I sell it? I love it but whats the point of having it if you can't enjoy it right? I know there are a lot of other people worse off than me but for some reason that just doesn't help me feel better inside. I don't get out much because it is a struggle to do so and therefore I don't go plus I don't want to run the risk of falling and being helpless. I am in need of a helper now to do everything with me so I can just do anything "on my own". There is nothing in this world that feels quite like loosing your pride, dignity, freedom and hope. I am honestly ready for a do-over, just wipe the slate clean and start from scratch. Do you think that happens? Are we punished for how good or bad we lived this life and then when we start over does our next life reflect back to our wrong-doings of our previous? Or are we just done and there is no start over?
I watched a movie the other night, it had a beautiful quote in it; "Men think that they control their own destiny, nothing makes the Gods laugh harder" I thought that was very interesting. Well I am going to go and try to stop thinking about things for a while.
I watched a movie the other night, it had a beautiful quote in it; "Men think that they control their own destiny, nothing makes the Gods laugh harder" I thought that was very interesting. Well I am going to go and try to stop thinking about things for a while.