"i am the mindfreak..."
hey ppl, i'm really bored right now. I had a few thongs that went on during this pass week.
I have JanCarlo 4 my third period, which is gym, aka personal fitness. But like, i started 2 feel kinda emo-y, like i got quiet, (and if u know me, i'm ot a quiet person), like, i felt sort of bad. Maybe cuz i wanted 2 go crazy, and b myself, but i don't know y i kept it all in. And it wasn't cuz of JanCarlo or NE thing, but something aboot that class, and the ppl in it, just made me feel uneasy, and sad all of a sudden. It creeps me out, it gets me really worried, cuz i'm really good in NE thing having 2 do w/ physical fitness, but i just all of a sudden felt really sad aboot everything. So i like, just sat in the corner.
The same thing happens in swimming, but i know y i'm quiet in swimming. It's cuz there's alot of ppl there that i don't like, and that don't like me, and so i kept quiet this year, so these ppl won't say NE thing 2 me, and i wouldn't have NE thing 2 do w/ them. But then that's not good either cuz then everybody else thinks that i'm depressed, which i'm not, i'm just quiet so ppl won't get on my case.
Something that i've noticed that has changed in me, is my taist 4 clothes. Like i still like black clothes, cuz i'm like, really really attached 2 dark, cool, clothes, but now i like, start 2 buy clothes in places like, "express" or "ann tyler" and "the loft" which is clothes 4 women, but very nice clothes. Clothes 4 like, going out and looking nice, not wat i'm used 2 buying, like just a freaking, t-shirt that said something like, "u laught because i'm different, i laught cuz u're all the same", and some normal black pants, and boots. But now i'm buying something like, nice long sleeve black shirts, and black pants 4 a nice occation.
Um, i'm in raiders now. I remember last year, i was also in raiders 4 a while, but i got out cuz i wanted 2 spend sometime w/ dante, cuz we were just starting 2 date, but now i really don't mind just seeing him a few minutes a day. But seein him 2 hours a day would b cool 2. Raiders is cool, i plan 2 stay on it, and hopfully b on the team that compeats. I'm getting bigger ams because of raiders and swimming. Like, i'm doing alot of excersice, cuz on monday through friday, i'm either in raiders or swimming, on mondays, tuesdays and thursdays, i have gym, and on saturdays and sundays, i do my billy blanks tapes 4 half an hour, or an hour. Maybe that's 2 much 4 me. But then again, i'm not eatting things 4rm my average diet like i used 2 eat last year. 4 instence, i'm not eatting pizza NE more, or coke, or burgers, or NE sodas, or chocolate, or rice, or ice cream. That's alot. Most ppl i know, won't even think i giving up half of the things that i gave up on. But on the other hand, i'm supposed 2 b eatting more, but i'm not. Actually, i'm eatting less. My day consist of breakfast which would b a small piece of bread w/ butter, and a glass of orange juice, lunch is normally some peaches, pears, crackers and tuna (sometimes jello), and sometimes lemonage, or water, and dinner is w/e my mom cooks w/ water and some tomatoes, or maybe some other fruites. And if i get hungry later on the day, i just eat some yogart or a smoothy. So i'm actually eatting less and excersicing more. If dante found out aboot this, he'd force me 2 eat, cuz he doens't like it that i do my diets like this cuz then he thinks that i starve myself, which i'm not.
Talking aboot dante, he's good, 2 days ago was his birthday, and i spent some time w/ him. And yesterday was cesar's birthday. Me and dante have changed a bit. Like i learned 2 "dettach" myself 4rm him. Like i don't wanna always b w/ him 24/7 as i used 2, well, i stil kinda like being w/ him alot, but now i learned 2 spend time w/ my friends 2. I guess i'm also feeling kinda lonly, but i just don't know y. Almost all my friends r dating somebody now. So when i'm hanging out w/ them, they kiss their spouce maybe once or twice, and i would tell myself, "wow, me and dante used 2 b like that, and we were both happy". Don't get me wrong, i'm still happy w/ him, but like i said, we've changed. I guess that's normal, cuz we've been dating 4 almost a year now, and u can't compare us 2 a couple that just recently got 2gether.
Once, only once, it has crossed my mind aboot marrige, cuz since he's not moving 2 Peru NE more, he's gonna stay here, and i doubt he r gonna break up NE time soon, and now he's almost not a minor NE more, and stuff. So liek, i was thinking a few hours ago, "maybe we really r gonna have a future 2gether, like we've talked aboot having often b4".
I've written so much, well that's cuz i said that alot of things happened 2 me these past few days, and i think it's enough. 3eece.....
I have JanCarlo 4 my third period, which is gym, aka personal fitness. But like, i started 2 feel kinda emo-y, like i got quiet, (and if u know me, i'm ot a quiet person), like, i felt sort of bad. Maybe cuz i wanted 2 go crazy, and b myself, but i don't know y i kept it all in. And it wasn't cuz of JanCarlo or NE thing, but something aboot that class, and the ppl in it, just made me feel uneasy, and sad all of a sudden. It creeps me out, it gets me really worried, cuz i'm really good in NE thing having 2 do w/ physical fitness, but i just all of a sudden felt really sad aboot everything. So i like, just sat in the corner.
The same thing happens in swimming, but i know y i'm quiet in swimming. It's cuz there's alot of ppl there that i don't like, and that don't like me, and so i kept quiet this year, so these ppl won't say NE thing 2 me, and i wouldn't have NE thing 2 do w/ them. But then that's not good either cuz then everybody else thinks that i'm depressed, which i'm not, i'm just quiet so ppl won't get on my case.
Something that i've noticed that has changed in me, is my taist 4 clothes. Like i still like black clothes, cuz i'm like, really really attached 2 dark, cool, clothes, but now i like, start 2 buy clothes in places like, "express" or "ann tyler" and "the loft" which is clothes 4 women, but very nice clothes. Clothes 4 like, going out and looking nice, not wat i'm used 2 buying, like just a freaking, t-shirt that said something like, "u laught because i'm different, i laught cuz u're all the same", and some normal black pants, and boots. But now i'm buying something like, nice long sleeve black shirts, and black pants 4 a nice occation.
Um, i'm in raiders now. I remember last year, i was also in raiders 4 a while, but i got out cuz i wanted 2 spend sometime w/ dante, cuz we were just starting 2 date, but now i really don't mind just seeing him a few minutes a day. But seein him 2 hours a day would b cool 2. Raiders is cool, i plan 2 stay on it, and hopfully b on the team that compeats. I'm getting bigger ams because of raiders and swimming. Like, i'm doing alot of excersice, cuz on monday through friday, i'm either in raiders or swimming, on mondays, tuesdays and thursdays, i have gym, and on saturdays and sundays, i do my billy blanks tapes 4 half an hour, or an hour. Maybe that's 2 much 4 me. But then again, i'm not eatting things 4rm my average diet like i used 2 eat last year. 4 instence, i'm not eatting pizza NE more, or coke, or burgers, or NE sodas, or chocolate, or rice, or ice cream. That's alot. Most ppl i know, won't even think i giving up half of the things that i gave up on. But on the other hand, i'm supposed 2 b eatting more, but i'm not. Actually, i'm eatting less. My day consist of breakfast which would b a small piece of bread w/ butter, and a glass of orange juice, lunch is normally some peaches, pears, crackers and tuna (sometimes jello), and sometimes lemonage, or water, and dinner is w/e my mom cooks w/ water and some tomatoes, or maybe some other fruites. And if i get hungry later on the day, i just eat some yogart or a smoothy. So i'm actually eatting less and excersicing more. If dante found out aboot this, he'd force me 2 eat, cuz he doens't like it that i do my diets like this cuz then he thinks that i starve myself, which i'm not.
Talking aboot dante, he's good, 2 days ago was his birthday, and i spent some time w/ him. And yesterday was cesar's birthday. Me and dante have changed a bit. Like i learned 2 "dettach" myself 4rm him. Like i don't wanna always b w/ him 24/7 as i used 2, well, i stil kinda like being w/ him alot, but now i learned 2 spend time w/ my friends 2. I guess i'm also feeling kinda lonly, but i just don't know y. Almost all my friends r dating somebody now. So when i'm hanging out w/ them, they kiss their spouce maybe once or twice, and i would tell myself, "wow, me and dante used 2 b like that, and we were both happy". Don't get me wrong, i'm still happy w/ him, but like i said, we've changed. I guess that's normal, cuz we've been dating 4 almost a year now, and u can't compare us 2 a couple that just recently got 2gether.
Once, only once, it has crossed my mind aboot marrige, cuz since he's not moving 2 Peru NE more, he's gonna stay here, and i doubt he r gonna break up NE time soon, and now he's almost not a minor NE more, and stuff. So liek, i was thinking a few hours ago, "maybe we really r gonna have a future 2gether, like we've talked aboot having often b4".
I've written so much, well that's cuz i said that alot of things happened 2 me these past few days, and i think it's enough. 3eece.....