it is a bitter fucking tea, let me tell you
somewhere, yoko ono weeps as her legacy lives on...not that she's proud, but because around age 46, she realized that her music was absolutely dreadful. and the friedbergers apparently did not get the memo. the siblings again show the influence of lasers and the effects button on several dozen keyboards. surely the writers of 'friends' were shocked to find that ross gellar's "sound" has resonated with their audience (an obscure reference, i know...but if you've seen the episode, you know what i'm talking about).
the fiery furnaces' "sound" is often described as 'eccentric', or, more accurately, 'abnormal.' some might even call the music 'avant-garde'...which makes me wonder if 'avant-garde' is in fact the french word for "not good or interesting." but perhaps that is unfair. some people do find backwards vocal tracks and arbitrary hooks 'interesting,' if we use the term loosely enough. which brings us to the question of "should music really ever be described primarily as 'interesting'? shouldn't it just be 'good' or 'bad,' and we can leave the rest for a bunch of grad students with ponytails and tight chinos to sort out about 50 years down the road?"
with her vocals (both in forward and reverse), Eleanor proves her grandmother wrong. she does not need vocal lessons. existence lessons would be more useful...and maybe some english lessons. she often seems confused as to what the hell she's talking about. is she really foreign? i thought she was from chicago, but she is so often spewing nonsense that i'm not so sure. and she does so not in that "i'm in my own world" way, but in a "la la la la la, i'm completely insane and not that intelligent" way. either way, i'm sure the Vietnamese Telephone Ministry would appreciate it if she'd find something to talk about besides their phone number.
and while we're investing in a brighter, more musical future for the furnaces, Matt could invest in a piano (as in, a keyboard sans effects), so that maybe then he'll be forced to learn how to play. while we're on the route to unearthing some true "musical ability," someone should probably take all the star wars toys away from him...or better yet, george lucas needs to step up and sue his fiery-ass for using copyrighted sound effects in his pretentious indie records. lucas wont gain much monetarily, but i will gain something that can't be bought: the comforting knowledge that sir friedberger will be silenced forever...because without star wars sound effects, what is he left with? a sister who'd still be in a shelf-bra tank top somewhere in chicago had he not forced her to "perform" in high-waisted tapered pants fronting his artsy-fartsy-and-thus-brooklyn-based "band"? that's not a lot, my friend.
the lesson here is simple, fiery ones: when you find yourself auditioning drummers for a tour to support your album, and you find yourself asking a drummer if he can play a didgeridoo for 18 consecutive minutes...it is either time to quit thinking you're a super-cool, super-indie, super-hip, brooklyn-sibling-band, or it's time to go live among the aborigines. and i do believe enough in this album that bro & sis furnace should do both, and only then will they find true success. and by success, i mean people that will either enjoy their "sound," or bludgeon them both to death. i'm fine with both, so long as i don't have to deal with them anymore.
okay, okay...there are no didgeridoos on 'bitter tea.' but there might have been one or two on 'gallowsbird's bark.' my point being...this album makes me want aborigines to bludgeon the furnacebergers to death. or wait, did we go over that already? it's only fair for me to repeat myself...it is the fiery furnace way.
and should the aborigines carry out my wishes, i'm sure matt and eleanor could have the whole beating recorded and release it posthumously a la tupac. and then make millions. or at least as much as their previous efforts brought in: approximately $892 and breakfast with two record executives that don't "get it." and can we blame them? bless you pretentious-brooklyn-indie-rock.
the fiery furnaces' "sound" is often described as 'eccentric', or, more accurately, 'abnormal.' some might even call the music 'avant-garde'...which makes me wonder if 'avant-garde' is in fact the french word for "not good or interesting." but perhaps that is unfair. some people do find backwards vocal tracks and arbitrary hooks 'interesting,' if we use the term loosely enough. which brings us to the question of "should music really ever be described primarily as 'interesting'? shouldn't it just be 'good' or 'bad,' and we can leave the rest for a bunch of grad students with ponytails and tight chinos to sort out about 50 years down the road?"
with her vocals (both in forward and reverse), Eleanor proves her grandmother wrong. she does not need vocal lessons. existence lessons would be more useful...and maybe some english lessons. she often seems confused as to what the hell she's talking about. is she really foreign? i thought she was from chicago, but she is so often spewing nonsense that i'm not so sure. and she does so not in that "i'm in my own world" way, but in a "la la la la la, i'm completely insane and not that intelligent" way. either way, i'm sure the Vietnamese Telephone Ministry would appreciate it if she'd find something to talk about besides their phone number.
and while we're investing in a brighter, more musical future for the furnaces, Matt could invest in a piano (as in, a keyboard sans effects), so that maybe then he'll be forced to learn how to play. while we're on the route to unearthing some true "musical ability," someone should probably take all the star wars toys away from him...or better yet, george lucas needs to step up and sue his fiery-ass for using copyrighted sound effects in his pretentious indie records. lucas wont gain much monetarily, but i will gain something that can't be bought: the comforting knowledge that sir friedberger will be silenced forever...because without star wars sound effects, what is he left with? a sister who'd still be in a shelf-bra tank top somewhere in chicago had he not forced her to "perform" in high-waisted tapered pants fronting his artsy-fartsy-and-thus-brooklyn-based "band"? that's not a lot, my friend.
the lesson here is simple, fiery ones: when you find yourself auditioning drummers for a tour to support your album, and you find yourself asking a drummer if he can play a didgeridoo for 18 consecutive minutes...it is either time to quit thinking you're a super-cool, super-indie, super-hip, brooklyn-sibling-band, or it's time to go live among the aborigines. and i do believe enough in this album that bro & sis furnace should do both, and only then will they find true success. and by success, i mean people that will either enjoy their "sound," or bludgeon them both to death. i'm fine with both, so long as i don't have to deal with them anymore.
okay, okay...there are no didgeridoos on 'bitter tea.' but there might have been one or two on 'gallowsbird's bark.' my point being...this album makes me want aborigines to bludgeon the furnacebergers to death. or wait, did we go over that already? it's only fair for me to repeat myself...it is the fiery furnace way.
and should the aborigines carry out my wishes, i'm sure matt and eleanor could have the whole beating recorded and release it posthumously a la tupac. and then make millions. or at least as much as their previous efforts brought in: approximately $892 and breakfast with two record executives that don't "get it." and can we blame them? bless you pretentious-brooklyn-indie-rock.