three is company (and two is none), for everyone (3/3)
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He goes to work on Monday, not quite whole but stitched together by Minseok’s soft words and encouragement, Luhan’s awkward hugs and bad jokes, the glue that keeps his smile pasted on as his friend tries to comfort him. Deep down, he’s deeply appreciative of their efforts but right now, trying to block out his misery during working hours and then wallowing in it later is all that he wants.
He talks to Sehun during break, fingers wrapped around the hot ceramic of his coffee cup, head bowed as he apologizes, says all the right things, that Sehun is a great person and Tao wants them to be friends but he doesn’t think they can work out together. Sehun takes it graciously, pulling Tao into a hug and assuring him quietly that everything’s okay. "I hope everything works out between you and him.” he says when he pulls away and Tao thanks him, belatedly realizing once he’s back at his desk, that he’d never told Sehun about Jongin.
He keeps his phone turned off, unwilling to see and missed calls or unopened KKT message notifications. (Or maybe some part of him is scared there aren’t any.) He has the firm’s security guard put both Jongin and Chen on the persona non grata list and he stays late after work, losing himself in the soothing, repetitive monotony of tasks, barely even pausing to take a break. He only agrees to leave after Minseok calls the firm directly to order him to get his ass home, only then does he realize he’s been working overtime for almost three hours. The subway ride back to Gangnam is long and arduous and he wants nothing more than to drag his bedraggled self into bed. Minseok looks ready and determined to lecture him when he opens the door but he falters when he sees Tao’s expression, scowl slipping away and a resigned sigh slipping from him. He ends up tugging him inside and letting him go to bed after Tao chokes down a few bites of rice and chicken.
This pattern continues for a week and Tao can feel Minseok’s frustration growing, even if the other man hasn’t yet called him out on his shit yet, despite how badly Tao knows he needs to be. He’s called his landlord to ask whether there's any way he could back out of his lease earlier but the penalty clause is too high for him to afford. He know he can’t bum off his hyung forever but right now there’s no other available option.
It’s only on Thursday morning that he wakes up to find Minseok glaring down at him that he knows he’s out of luck. He sits up and scoots back to make room for Minseok on the couch but the other continues to stand, arms folded across his chest as he glowers at him. “Hyung,” he croaks out, throat dry. “I don’t know what I did but whatever it is, I’m sorry.”
Minseok points at him threateningly with a tube of toothpaste tube and Tao groans internally. He’d forgotten to cap the damn thing. He holds his hands up placatingly, swinging a leg over to get up and head to the bathroom to get ready.
He grunts when Minseok promptly settles on his legs, effectively pinning him to the couch. "Hyung, I said I’m sorry, now let me get up" he starts, whine drifting off when he sees the stoic expression the other has. “This is not about the toothpaste, is it?”
Minseok shakes his head. “It isn’t.” He settles back against the couch, hand coming to rest on Tao’s arm. “I called in at the firm and said you’re ill. Your supervisor said it’s okay, you’ve done a lot of overtime this week already.” He taps Tao on the chin. “So that gives us plenty of time to talk about whatever it is that has you all messed up.”
“I’m fine.” Tao tries to insist, yelping when he receives a hard pinch on the thigh. Minseok shakes his head. “Don’t lie to me, you got emotional watching a Neutrogena commercial yesterday, something's clearly off. And I’d wager it has something to do with your pretty roommate.”
Damn Minseok for being so perceptive. But he’s also really good listener and Tao finally lets himself unleash the torrent of emotions he’s building up inside him, starting from the day he’d met Jongin to the events of the entire past week. (He doesn’t speak of the night before he left, the memory still too raw to touch). His voice cracks halfway through his spiel and Minseok gets up to get him some water, staying silent all the while as Tao talks. Once he trails off, words evaporating in the space between them, Minseok puts his head in his hands, sighing loudly. “Jesus Christ, Taozi. You’re just something else aren’t you?”
“What? You’ve never fallen in love with your roommate before?’ Tao jokes weakly, sitting up and hugging his knees.
Minseok snorts. “I never feel in love with his boyfriend .”
Tao looks up, frowning. “What are you talking about? I’m not in love with Chen.”
Minseok furrows his brow. “But your face-when you were talking about him-” he cuts off abruptly. “Nevermind, my mistake.”
“What should I do, hyung?” he whispers softly, head drooping down as he rests his chin on his knees. “Everything’s so fucked up right now.”
Fingers runs through his hair soothingly. “Well, maybe facing your problems head on would be a good start.”
Tao shakes his head vigorously, dislodging Minseok’s hand in the process. “No. I can’t face Jongin again, it’s... it’ll hurt, hyung.” He sniffles. “He probably thinks I’m pathetic.”
“Then he doesn’t deserve you.” Minseok says firmly, tugging the blankets off him. “C’mon, get up and go shower. We can have a lazy day in, just the two of us. Been a while since we’ve done that right?”
***
In retrospect, Tao really should be able to tell by now when Luhan and Minseok are conspiring against him but his ignorance means that when he returns to their apartment from a milk run he’d been sent on, the first thing he sees is Chen cowering on the couch as Minseok stands over him. Tao drops the milk, carton bouncing off the carpet as he gapes at the scene. Minseok flashes him a cheery smile, hand propped up on hip and looking for all intents and purposes like a 50’s housewife. “Hi, Taozi. You have a friend over.”
“I don’t- what- no- agh!” Tao tries to make a run for it and lock himself in the bathroom but he’s tripped by an unseen force and goes flying. Luhan gives an apologetic look from above as Tao spits out pieces of carpet lint. ‘Sorry, bro.”
Minseok claps his hands, drawing everyone's attention back to him. “Okay, so here’s what's going to happen. Luhan and I are going to head out to an early showing of Interstellar and maybe confirm a theory I have regarding Luhan’s fondness for popcorn. You two,” he points back and forth between Chen clinging to the arm of the couch and Tao splayed onto the carpet, “are going to sit down together and talk. Dinner’s in the fridge.” he links arms with Luhan before heading to the door. “Oh and one more thing.” he gives Chen a menacing smile. “Make him cry again and I’ll castrate you. Bye now!” the door slam shuts ominously behind him.
Tao stays where he is, eyes screwed shut as he tries to use the ostrich escapism method of I can't-see-him-he-can't-see-me. There’s a rustle of fabric, soft thumps of footsteps and he can sense someone crouch down beside him. He flinches when he feels fingers brush his bangs off his forehead and there’s a soft sigh before Chen speaks. “Tao please, look at me.”
It’s the gentleness in Chen’s tone, devoid of all it’s usual snark and sharp wit that makes his eyes flutter open as he stares up at the sharp line of the other’s jaw. He lets Chen pull him up and they stare at each other awkwardly for a few seconds until Chen coughs and gestures with his head to the table. They sit at opposite ends, Tao wanting as much distance between the two of them as possible. Chen drums his fingers against the wooden tabletop, a nervous tic of his and Tao feels a growing sense of trepidation. If Chen is nervous, that can only mean bad things. “You shouldn’t be here.” he blurts out, voice too loud for the room.
Chen’s fingers still, palm flat on the table as he meets his gaze. “Neither should you.”
Tao flinches. “Minseok is my friend.”
“But last I checked, you don’t live here. Unless there’s been any recent developments on that front.” Chen leans back in his chair, hands in the pockets of his hoodie. “Jongin is worried about you.”
The mere mention of his name has Tao’s heartbeat quickening and he unconsciously leans forward. “How is he?”
“You should find out for yourself.”
“Fucking hell, Chen.” He looks away from the other man. “It’s not that simple, okay? I can’t go back right now.”
“Why?" Chen says simply, almost as if he’s deliberately being obtuse. Tao feels a familiar flicker of anger and he stands abruptly, chair nearly toppling over. He’s about to stomp away when Chen speaks again, voice soft. “Is it because you’re in love with him?”
He’s petrified, half turned away as he tries to frantically thinks of a response, a rebuttal, a denial, something. But instead a pleading. “How did you find out?” comes out instead.
“Tao, sit down. Please.” Chen gestures to a chair and Tao drops down onto the seat, legs unsteady. Chen is watching him carefully and he wants to hide under the mahogany countertop.
“The first time Jongin and I ever tried cuckolding, we went club-hopping.” Chen begins and Tao is confused, this isn’t what he was expecting. “We thought picking a stranger would make the whole thing more exciting. Then we started finding people on forums, those who’d drop by on an arranged time and date at a hotel and would leave right after. We never let them into our apartment, sometimes they didn’t even know our names. The point was for it to be impersonal.” Chen rests his chin on his hands, eyes glinting in the dim light. “The first time I let someone I know fuck Jongin was with Yifan, my boss at Uni. And I did it because he was in love with me. It gave some kind of satisfaction, a twisted kind maybe, to let him get one degree away from what he wanted but he couldn’t have it. But Yifan-he’s good at compartmentalizing, by Monday he was back to his regular bossy self.” He smiles softly, the corners of his lips crooking up slightly. “And then you came along. Fuck, it was so obvious from the beginning Tao, how much you wanted Jongin, you’d always have this stupid smile on your face when you talked to him. The idea of you two together was too tempting.”
“Especially because I liked him, would have to live with him but wouldn’t be able to have him?” Tao asks, incredulously.
Chen has the decency to look ashamed. “Essentially.”
Tao laughs, mirthlessly. “Fuck you.” he spits outs, mentally calculating the amount of distance he’d have to cross to land a punch on his stupid, emotionally manipulative face. Chen raises his hands placatingly, seeming to sense his thoughts. “I know, I’m an asshole of the highest order, believe me Jongin made sure to inform me of that multiple times this week. But hear me out, please.” Tao grunts but leans back again.
“If it helps, my little scheme backfired on me.” Chen laughs, obviously fake. “Jongin fell in love with you.”
There’s silence and then Tao’s leaning over the table, fisting his hands into Chen’s shirt and twisting till it presses tight enough to cut off air. “Stop fucking lying to me.” he hisses out, emotionally fraught. Chen struggles, managing to dislodge his hand. “He told me himself.” he wheezes out. Tao drops the pressure entirely, staring at him confused. Chen massages his throat, swallowing before speaking again. “The day after you left, he was worried and he wouldn’t stop pacing, he wanted to call the police. The next day he was angry at you for leaving without any warning. And on the third day, I came home and he was in your room and he was wearing your black sweatshirt. And he cried and told me that he was in love with you."
“In love with me?” Tao echoes in a whisper, not quite processing that what he’d hoped for so desperately could actually be true. He slumps forward and Chen reaches up to steady him, hand on his shoulder. The other nods, confirming and Tao breathes out softly. “Oh my god.”
“I thought I’d be angry.” Chen says, leaning in closer now and Tao can smell the sage and citrus of his cleanser, the expensive stuff he won’t let Jongin or Tao touch. “Or jealous or something. But I just wanted Jongin to stop crying and everything to be normal again. But I think both Jongin and I realised this week that you’ve become part of our normal.” He rubs his hands together under the table, pulling his sleeves over his knuckles, eyes not meeting his. “I guess you’re just really easy to fall in love with.”
“Why are you blushing?” Tao says dumbly, squinting and turning his head as he leans closer to inspect. Chen scowls, turning his head to the side. “Why are you so dense, you idiot?” He gives Tao a baleful look.
Tao blinks at him until something clicks and he finds himself gaping at Chen who groans and buries his head in his arms. “Fucking kill me.” he mutters, sound muffled.
“Wait, wait.” Tao tries to make sense of this. “You love me ?’
Chen purses his lips. “I can’t say that I’m in love with you. It took me three years to tell Jongin, I loved him and I still probably don’t say it often enough. But I care for you.” His face is serious now as he stares at Tao dead on. “And I want to take care of you.”
Tao stares at him, feeling a strange tingling in his veins that makes his palm sweaty and his heart beat faster. “What are you saying, Chen?”
Chen gets up and walks over to him and Tao feels warm under his gaze. “I’m saying that Jongin loves you. And you him. And with me also loving him, the equation is broken.” A hand comes up to cup Tao’s jaw and Chen is staring down at him, a look in his eyes that Tao’s never seen before and he realises with a jolt that it’s something akin to tenderness. “But if you and I can grow to love each other-then maybe we can make this work.”
They don’t speak for several second after that, silence stretching between them as Tao tries to take in the confession, take in what’s being offered to him, his hand unconsciously coming up to curl around Chen’s arm. The other’s eyes are closed again and Tao nudges him gently. “What are you thinking?”
Chen sucks in a deep breath. “Honestly?” he lets out a wavering laugh. “I’m scared shitless right now that you’re going to reject me. Because I’ve been nothing but awful to you and you should. But I really don’t want you to.”
There’s something so endearing about him right there, eyes screwed shut and the embarrassed tilt of his mouth, like a child waiting to be scolded and Tao feels something wash over, a fierce kind wave of affection and he tugs Chen down till the other is sprawled in lap, their foreheads pressed together. Tao leans against him and listens to his breathing as fast paced and erratic as his own. “I-I can’t promise you anything.” he says and hears Chen’s breathing still. “I don’t even know how this would work with the three of us. But- I’m willing to try.” He takes Chen’s hands turning it over till they’re pressed together palm-to-palm.” And maybe somewhere deep down- I mean deep, deep, down, I’m talking Marianas Trench deep-” he hears Chen snort and Tao feels a grin tugging at the corners of his own mouth. “I care for you too.”
They stare at each other for a little while, sheepish grins on both their faces. There’s a small freckle under Chen’s bottom lips that Tao’s never noticed before and without thinking he leans forward to brush his lips over that spot. Chen shudders, pulling away abruptly. “Come on, grab your stuff. We should go back home and talk to Jongin before I get distracted.” His gaze lingers over Tao’s lips and there’s heat behind it that makes Tao swallow hard. He likes the idea of a distraction. But he likes the thought of going home to Jongin even more.
***
If this was a movie (or a fanfic by a less sadistic author), then everything would fall into place. They’d all fall in love and be happy and have tantric, mind-blowing sex every night. Everything would be perfect.
But this is real life so they have their struggles. Jealousy is the first main hurdle, despite their understanding, it’s hard to navigate the twisted lanes of emotion and reassemble the dynamic to accommodate three without friction. Jongin and Tao act like a teenage couple in the early throes of romance, lingering touches and giddy smiles and Chen endures it for the most part but there are times when his smile goes tight and Jongin will have to go soothe ruffled feathers. And there are times when Tao has to grit his teeth and endure Jongin and Chen laughing about past memories, inside jokes he’s still not completely privy too. It’s difficult. But they try their hardest, Jongin insisting that Chen and Tao spend more time together and urging them to be honest, communicate with each other. Sex gets put on hold ironically enough now that Tao has two boyfriends, he’s getting less then when he was single but Jongin states firmly that they need to work on their domestic life first before moving to the bedroom. It’s slow going but they begin to learn. Chen still trips up sometimes, can’t control his sharp tongue as he makes an offhand remark that stings but now he’s quicker to realise his mistake, will brush a soft kiss over Tao’s knuckles and mumble an apology. Tao learns to give too, stop being so defensive towards every comment and learn all the various facets of Chen he still hasn’t quite grasped. He also discovers he likes it when Chen praises him, the proud lilt to his voice and the smile he receives for doing something right and more and more he finds himself eager to please.
Despite the fact they’ve grown closer, Tao still frets sometimes about what Chen really think of him. With Jongin it’s easy to tell where he stands, Jongin never shies away from confessions of love, written in the steam-fogged mirror after a joint shower or a quick whisper in his ear when he kisses him in the morning. With Chen, Tao’s left clinging to whatever scraps get thrown his way, a smile or peck on the cheek, a soft “Are you okay?” and a hand on his lower back as he slumps on the sofa after a long day of work. Jongin laughs when Tao confides in him, fingers fiddling with his bracelets as they lie sprawled together on the floor. “Tao, Chen isn’t the kind of guy who’s going to make grandiose declarations of love, that just isn’t how he works. Have you ever heard him say it to me?”
“Well, no, but you say it to him all the time.” Tao nips at the delicate skin of Jongin’s wrist, earning a small yelp. “He must reciprocate at least.”
“He does but in his own way. With Chen actions are what matter, not words.” Jongin’s tone is fond as he stands. “Pay attention and you’ll start to see it.”
And surely enough, Tao does.
It’s the little things that might slip by unnoticed if he weren’t looking out for them. Chen irons Tao work clothes for him in the morning, granting him an extra ten minutes in the shower. He’ll sit and watch historical dramas with him and translate the satoori even though he constantly complains about their butchering of history and the acting but still leans close and tucks his head into Tao’s neck to mumble explanations. He may consider Tao’s taste in coffee abysmal (“A pumpkin spice latte is an abomination created by Satanbucks and an insult to the name of coffee.”) and yet when he walks to Tao’s firm to pick him up at the end of the day, there will inevitably be one in his hand as he waits outside. Small details and actions that add up to a bigger picture that Tao starts to notice and each little revelation makes his heart swell and makes him want to respond in kind, grab Chen and press kisses to his face even as the other squirms away with an exaggerated yell before tugging Tao down and responding in kind.
It takes work but on the day when he and Chen return home to find Jongin sitting in the middle of the living room, a cake with “Happy one month anniversary” scrawled in icing on it and a single aromatherapy candle to light up the room and illuminate Jongin’s smile as he leans in to kiss them both, hands intertwining with them as he tugs them towards the bedroom, it all seems worth it.
***
“Fuck, fuck fuck.” Tao lets out the litany of curses slip past his lips as he tries to angle himself to get a better look at what Chen’s doing, hard as it is to prop himself up with his wrists tied to the bedpost above his head.Chen doesn’t seem to appreciate his squirming around, pulling away to deliver a sharp slap to his thigh, the sting sending a jolt through Tao as Chen speaks, voice stern. ‘Stay still, Zitao.”
And Tao falls limp, obediently laying back against the sheets as Chen props his hips up higher, nearly bending Tao in half so he has better access to eat him out.Every touch of his tongue to the sensitive skin of Tao’s hole, every flick of it against the puckered rim has him whimpering, wnating to grind his hips up against Chen’s mouth, get him in deeper but he has his orders.So he struggles to remain still, fingers twitching uselessly as Chen pulls away to blow air over the wet skin, the coolness making his cock twitch at the contrast from thewarm heat of Chen’s palm as it strokes him. He’s impatient now, wants Chen to put something in him, he’s already loose and slick from his tongue but he knows better than to demand. The last time he’d done that Chen had left him tied to the bed for a good half hour with a vibrator up his ass as he calmly played Halo on his laptop with Tao’s pleading as his background music.It doesn’t seem like Chen intends to make suffer today as the other slicks up his finegrs and pulls away to start pushing them inside as Tao mewls pathetically into the pillow. Chen snorts at the sound, bringing his other hand up to rub at a nipple. “You’re lucky I didn’t ask you to stay quiet.”
Three fingers in and Tao’s ready to go, want’s to feel something thicker stretch him out and he spread his legs wider as Chen moves to slick himself up, cockhead pressing teasingly against the rim before he slides in, not bothering to go slow and Tao is grateful as he gasps around the welcome intrusion. Chen doesn’t bother with going slow, sliding out and slamming in with enough force to make the bed frame shake, thrusts going deeper, just barely missing Tao’s prostate but he’s worked up to the point where he thinks he could come from just this.
The suddenly Chen stills entirely, reaching over to rifle through the bedside drawer and Tao lets out an impatient whine. “What are you doing?”
Chen pulls away, hiding whatever is in his hand as he leans over Tao, till their noses brush together. “Do you miss Jonginnie, Zitao?”
Tao gapes at him. “What does that have to do with anything?” he tries to roll his hips up, maybe remind Chen again what they were in the middle of doing and maybe postpone this conversation but then there’s fingers digging into the soft skin of his neck and he stills, heart pounding. Chen’s eyes glint as he stares down at him, gaze predatory. “Answer the question.”
“I do, of course I do, you know that.” he breathes out.Jongin is gone for the week to Busan for a dance showcase with his students and Tao’s been whining about his absence all week. Chen smiles, pulling his hand away and bringing it up to stroke Tao’s hair and he relaxes under the touch. ‘I do too. And just think, Jongin must be so bored with just those brats around.” Chen holds up his phone, flipping it over so Tao can see his own face staring back at him. “So, let’s send him a little surprise.” Chen gives him a small pat on the knee. “You’re going to be good and perform well for Jongin, right?” His tone indicates no space for argument and Tao nods, eager to please as ever. Chen flips his phone over and Tao can see the recording light go on. Chen clears his throat before smiling at the camera. “Hi, Jongin, “ he says and Tao is mildly impressed at how effectively Chen can drop the arousal from his voice. “Just checking in on how you’re doing. Its weird without you-” and Tao tries to bite back a snort as Chen puts into the camera, the sharp pinch to his thigh letting him know he’s not as subtle as he thinks.” Tao missed you too and we decided we wanted to do something special for you. But you should probably put your headphones in and wait til lyou’re alone before watching the rest of this.”
And then Chen’s aiming the camera at him, a slow drag from Tao’s thighs up to his flushed cock and pert nipples, the tan column of his throat as he pants and then finally up to his face, red and needy, eyes glazed with arousal. Tao imagines Jongin watching the video and seeing him like this and it has him moaning, turning to hide his face in the pillow but Chen yanks on his hair, turns him back to the camera. “Let him see you,Zitao.”
He’s mortified when Chen starts thrusting again, camera pointed down to capture the slide of his cock as it fucks into him, red and slick. He starts speaking again after a minute, voice noticeably less steady than before. “He’s so fucking tight, Jonginnie, feels so good.” Tao lets out an embarrassed meep and Chen brings the camera up to capture Tao’s embarrassment. “Don’t let the reaction fool you, he loves that kind of talk. Likes to be told how hot it feels when you’re inside him, how pretty his lips look around a cock.” Chen scratches lightly down Tao’s chest, leaving red lines in his wake. “Such a gorgeous little slut.”
Tao can’t even be embarrassed anymore, the roaring arousal in his ears blocking out Chen’s words as he whimpers, Chen’s thrusts now the perfect pace, every brush of his cock against Tao’s prostate setting off sparks behind his eyes. He’s about ready to cry when Chen slows down again, wants to come so fucking bad but Chen gave him orders and Tao doesn’t want to disappoint him. He puts every ounce of focus in keeping still, sweat soaking his bangs and muscles so tense that he’s practically vibrating. Chen notices, eyes darting up to meet his and he must see something in Tao’s that has him surging forward to kiss him, a messy clash of lips and teeth, the camera momentarily falling from his grip.He pulls away to whisper into Tao’s ears, too low to be caught on camera. “Do you want to show him?’
“Show what?” Tao huffs out and Chen wraps a hand around his neck, applying slight pressure and oh . The kink. It’s still a secret between the two of them, something Chen had accidentally discovered when they’d been wrestling for the remote, Chen mock choking him and stopping when he’d felt Tao’s boner digging into his thigh. They’ve played with this before, Chen pressing his arm against Tao throat while jerking him off in the showers and making him come so hard that his knees gave way.But Tao won’t let him tell Jongin just yet, is embarrassed even though he knows Jongin won’t judge, given his own love for collars. But Chen had obliged and it had never come up when all three of them together. The idea of Jongin finding out this way isn’t how he’d planned it but maybe it’ll be easier. He nods slightly and Chen pulls away,untying his restraints and rubbing at his arms to soothe the ache as blood starts flowing again. “Remember the signal?” Tao nods, making a fistt and tapping it twice against his chest. Chen picks up the camera, and steadies it in one hand again as his other goes down to Tao’s neglected cock, getting him relaxed before they go ahead. “Jongin, Tao has something he wants to share with you. Don’t you?” Tao nods into the camera, throat dry as he throws his head back, the arch of his neck on display. Chen strokes over the bared skin with his fingertips, hand coming to grip his neck and Tao sighs, nervousness fading away into anticipation. Chen starts moving, thrusts slow and precise as he brings the camera down to capture Tao’s lower half. ‘Taozi taking my cock in so well, feels so hot and perfect. But it feels even better when I do this.” There’s a small tap to his neck, all the warning Tao gets before the pressure increases and he can’t breathe, mouth falling open as the world becomes hazy, the strain of his lungs as he gasps desperately contrasting with the pleasure racing up his spine as Chen fucks into him faster, finally letting out a few low moans as Tao clamps down around him in a vice grip.He lets go right as Tao balls his hand into a fist, filming the loud gasps and coughs Tao emits as he sucks in oxygen desperately. He gets a minute of reprieve before Chen’s hand is back, the other growling out “Touch yourself.” before the pressure is back and Tao’s fighting once again between panic and ecstasy,
He’s teetering on the edge when the hand leaves him again, the familiar heat in his gut and he’s begging, tears running from his eyes and leaving wet trails down his face as he begs. ‘Chen please, Chenchen, want to come.” and then Chen loses control, slamming hips roughly into Tao over and over and Tao tries to help, clenches down tight and revels in the throaty cry that earns him. Chen digs his nails into his thighs before he comes, the feeling of warm come filling him up and it feels so good, so filthy, so right . Chen grinds out his release, breathing laboured as he rides the high before pulling out and rolling onto his side, head resting on Tao’s thigh.He props the phone up on Tao’s stomach, adjusting the angle before taking Tao’s cock into his mouth. A few quick sucks are all it takes before he’s coming with a yell,hands clutching at the sheets as he pours his release down Chen’s throat, struggling to keep his hips still because Chen hates being choked. The other licks him clean before turning to the camera, opening his mouth to show the liquid inside before swallowing.He moves one of Tao’s legs out of the way, films the line of come leaking out of his abused hole. Tao is still lying dazed when he feels Chen’s hand on his jaw, tilting his head towards the camera as he lies down beside him. “Hope you enjoyed that, Jonginnie.” Chen purrs out, one hand stroking Tao’s hair and he nuzzles into the touch. “We can’t wait till you’re back home, the things we’re going to do to you.” He turns to Tao. ‘Anythign else you want to add, Tao?”
Tao flushes, knows he looks a mess right now but he still smiles at the camera, bringing his hands up to form a heart. “I love you. And so does he, even though he won’t say it.”
Chen laughs before waving at the camera. ‘Bye Jongin.Good luck with the competition.” Then he’s pressing end record and placing his phone to the side before he cups Tao’s face and pulls him into a kiss, this one uncharacteristically sweet. “You were so good, baby.” her murmurs and Tao lets the endearment wash over him, feeling warm and sated. And sticky. He grimaces at the unpleasant sensation between his legs, poking Chen in the forehead. “Bring the wipes, Chen.”
“Can’t it wait?’ Chen winds and really, he’s such an old man. Tao keeps nudging at him. “I’ll get sick and we’ll ruin the sheets, Chen, come on.” Chen lets out an exasperated huff before complying and Tao spread his legs to give him better access.
Once he’s clean, they both curl up under the quilt, the late autumn chill making them huddle closer for warmth. Chen is almost asleep, eyes drooping when Tao whispers to him. “Hey, Chenchen.”
“What now?” is the grumble he gets in return.
Tao wraps an arm around his waist leaning in to press a kiss to his ear. “I managed to get the day off on Friday.I was thinking we could go to the petstore.”
“You want another dog?” Chen mumbles. “Isn’t Jjangah enough?”
“She’s barely ever here anymore. Besides, Jongin won’t mind.” Tao insists.
“Okay, okay, we’ll go, stop hounding me.” Chen mumbles, voice muffled by the pillow. “You’ll probably pick out some frou frou little rat and name it Bon Bon or something.”
Tao snorts before reaching over to turn off the light and letting the darkness envelop them. He leans down again. “Chenchen.”
“I swear to god- what ?” Chen hisses. Tao smiles against the back of his neck. “I love you.”
“Go to sleep, Tao.” is the only reply he gets. But he knows what Chen really means.
***
He goes to work on Monday, not quite whole but stitched together by Minseok’s soft words and encouragement, Luhan’s awkward hugs and bad jokes, the glue that keeps his smile pasted on as his friend tries to comfort him. Deep down, he’s deeply appreciative of their efforts but right now, trying to block out his misery during working hours and then wallowing in it later is all that he wants.
He talks to Sehun during break, fingers wrapped around the hot ceramic of his coffee cup, head bowed as he apologizes, says all the right things, that Sehun is a great person and Tao wants them to be friends but he doesn’t think they can work out together. Sehun takes it graciously, pulling Tao into a hug and assuring him quietly that everything’s okay. "I hope everything works out between you and him.” he says when he pulls away and Tao thanks him, belatedly realizing once he’s back at his desk, that he’d never told Sehun about Jongin.
He keeps his phone turned off, unwilling to see and missed calls or unopened KKT message notifications. (Or maybe some part of him is scared there aren’t any.) He has the firm’s security guard put both Jongin and Chen on the persona non grata list and he stays late after work, losing himself in the soothing, repetitive monotony of tasks, barely even pausing to take a break. He only agrees to leave after Minseok calls the firm directly to order him to get his ass home, only then does he realize he’s been working overtime for almost three hours. The subway ride back to Gangnam is long and arduous and he wants nothing more than to drag his bedraggled self into bed. Minseok looks ready and determined to lecture him when he opens the door but he falters when he sees Tao’s expression, scowl slipping away and a resigned sigh slipping from him. He ends up tugging him inside and letting him go to bed after Tao chokes down a few bites of rice and chicken.
This pattern continues for a week and Tao can feel Minseok’s frustration growing, even if the other man hasn’t yet called him out on his shit yet, despite how badly Tao knows he needs to be. He’s called his landlord to ask whether there's any way he could back out of his lease earlier but the penalty clause is too high for him to afford. He know he can’t bum off his hyung forever but right now there’s no other available option.
It’s only on Thursday morning that he wakes up to find Minseok glaring down at him that he knows he’s out of luck. He sits up and scoots back to make room for Minseok on the couch but the other continues to stand, arms folded across his chest as he glowers at him. “Hyung,” he croaks out, throat dry. “I don’t know what I did but whatever it is, I’m sorry.”
Minseok points at him threateningly with a tube of toothpaste tube and Tao groans internally. He’d forgotten to cap the damn thing. He holds his hands up placatingly, swinging a leg over to get up and head to the bathroom to get ready.
He grunts when Minseok promptly settles on his legs, effectively pinning him to the couch. "Hyung, I said I’m sorry, now let me get up" he starts, whine drifting off when he sees the stoic expression the other has. “This is not about the toothpaste, is it?”
Minseok shakes his head. “It isn’t.” He settles back against the couch, hand coming to rest on Tao’s arm. “I called in at the firm and said you’re ill. Your supervisor said it’s okay, you’ve done a lot of overtime this week already.” He taps Tao on the chin. “So that gives us plenty of time to talk about whatever it is that has you all messed up.”
“I’m fine.” Tao tries to insist, yelping when he receives a hard pinch on the thigh. Minseok shakes his head. “Don’t lie to me, you got emotional watching a Neutrogena commercial yesterday, something's clearly off. And I’d wager it has something to do with your pretty roommate.”
Damn Minseok for being so perceptive. But he’s also really good listener and Tao finally lets himself unleash the torrent of emotions he’s building up inside him, starting from the day he’d met Jongin to the events of the entire past week. (He doesn’t speak of the night before he left, the memory still too raw to touch). His voice cracks halfway through his spiel and Minseok gets up to get him some water, staying silent all the while as Tao talks. Once he trails off, words evaporating in the space between them, Minseok puts his head in his hands, sighing loudly. “Jesus Christ, Taozi. You’re just something else aren’t you?”
“What? You’ve never fallen in love with your roommate before?’ Tao jokes weakly, sitting up and hugging his knees.
Minseok snorts. “I never feel in love with his boyfriend .”
Tao looks up, frowning. “What are you talking about? I’m not in love with Chen.”
Minseok furrows his brow. “But your face-when you were talking about him-” he cuts off abruptly. “Nevermind, my mistake.”
“What should I do, hyung?” he whispers softly, head drooping down as he rests his chin on his knees. “Everything’s so fucked up right now.”
Fingers runs through his hair soothingly. “Well, maybe facing your problems head on would be a good start.”
Tao shakes his head vigorously, dislodging Minseok’s hand in the process. “No. I can’t face Jongin again, it’s... it’ll hurt, hyung.” He sniffles. “He probably thinks I’m pathetic.”
“Then he doesn’t deserve you.” Minseok says firmly, tugging the blankets off him. “C’mon, get up and go shower. We can have a lazy day in, just the two of us. Been a while since we’ve done that right?”
***
In retrospect, Tao really should be able to tell by now when Luhan and Minseok are conspiring against him but his ignorance means that when he returns to their apartment from a milk run he’d been sent on, the first thing he sees is Chen cowering on the couch as Minseok stands over him. Tao drops the milk, carton bouncing off the carpet as he gapes at the scene. Minseok flashes him a cheery smile, hand propped up on hip and looking for all intents and purposes like a 50’s housewife. “Hi, Taozi. You have a friend over.”
“I don’t- what- no- agh!” Tao tries to make a run for it and lock himself in the bathroom but he’s tripped by an unseen force and goes flying. Luhan gives an apologetic look from above as Tao spits out pieces of carpet lint. ‘Sorry, bro.”
Minseok claps his hands, drawing everyone's attention back to him. “Okay, so here’s what's going to happen. Luhan and I are going to head out to an early showing of Interstellar and maybe confirm a theory I have regarding Luhan’s fondness for popcorn. You two,” he points back and forth between Chen clinging to the arm of the couch and Tao splayed onto the carpet, “are going to sit down together and talk. Dinner’s in the fridge.” he links arms with Luhan before heading to the door. “Oh and one more thing.” he gives Chen a menacing smile. “Make him cry again and I’ll castrate you. Bye now!” the door slam shuts ominously behind him.
Tao stays where he is, eyes screwed shut as he tries to use the ostrich escapism method of I can't-see-him-he-can't-see-me. There’s a rustle of fabric, soft thumps of footsteps and he can sense someone crouch down beside him. He flinches when he feels fingers brush his bangs off his forehead and there’s a soft sigh before Chen speaks. “Tao please, look at me.”
It’s the gentleness in Chen’s tone, devoid of all it’s usual snark and sharp wit that makes his eyes flutter open as he stares up at the sharp line of the other’s jaw. He lets Chen pull him up and they stare at each other awkwardly for a few seconds until Chen coughs and gestures with his head to the table. They sit at opposite ends, Tao wanting as much distance between the two of them as possible. Chen drums his fingers against the wooden tabletop, a nervous tic of his and Tao feels a growing sense of trepidation. If Chen is nervous, that can only mean bad things. “You shouldn’t be here.” he blurts out, voice too loud for the room.
Chen’s fingers still, palm flat on the table as he meets his gaze. “Neither should you.”
Tao flinches. “Minseok is my friend.”
“But last I checked, you don’t live here. Unless there’s been any recent developments on that front.” Chen leans back in his chair, hands in the pockets of his hoodie. “Jongin is worried about you.”
The mere mention of his name has Tao’s heartbeat quickening and he unconsciously leans forward. “How is he?”
“You should find out for yourself.”
“Fucking hell, Chen.” He looks away from the other man. “It’s not that simple, okay? I can’t go back right now.”
“Why?" Chen says simply, almost as if he’s deliberately being obtuse. Tao feels a familiar flicker of anger and he stands abruptly, chair nearly toppling over. He’s about to stomp away when Chen speaks again, voice soft. “Is it because you’re in love with him?”
He’s petrified, half turned away as he tries to frantically thinks of a response, a rebuttal, a denial, something. But instead a pleading. “How did you find out?” comes out instead.
“Tao, sit down. Please.” Chen gestures to a chair and Tao drops down onto the seat, legs unsteady. Chen is watching him carefully and he wants to hide under the mahogany countertop.
“The first time Jongin and I ever tried cuckolding, we went club-hopping.” Chen begins and Tao is confused, this isn’t what he was expecting. “We thought picking a stranger would make the whole thing more exciting. Then we started finding people on forums, those who’d drop by on an arranged time and date at a hotel and would leave right after. We never let them into our apartment, sometimes they didn’t even know our names. The point was for it to be impersonal.” Chen rests his chin on his hands, eyes glinting in the dim light. “The first time I let someone I know fuck Jongin was with Yifan, my boss at Uni. And I did it because he was in love with me. It gave some kind of satisfaction, a twisted kind maybe, to let him get one degree away from what he wanted but he couldn’t have it. But Yifan-he’s good at compartmentalizing, by Monday he was back to his regular bossy self.” He smiles softly, the corners of his lips crooking up slightly. “And then you came along. Fuck, it was so obvious from the beginning Tao, how much you wanted Jongin, you’d always have this stupid smile on your face when you talked to him. The idea of you two together was too tempting.”
“Especially because I liked him, would have to live with him but wouldn’t be able to have him?” Tao asks, incredulously.
Chen has the decency to look ashamed. “Essentially.”
Tao laughs, mirthlessly. “Fuck you.” he spits outs, mentally calculating the amount of distance he’d have to cross to land a punch on his stupid, emotionally manipulative face. Chen raises his hands placatingly, seeming to sense his thoughts. “I know, I’m an asshole of the highest order, believe me Jongin made sure to inform me of that multiple times this week. But hear me out, please.” Tao grunts but leans back again.
“If it helps, my little scheme backfired on me.” Chen laughs, obviously fake. “Jongin fell in love with you.”
There’s silence and then Tao’s leaning over the table, fisting his hands into Chen’s shirt and twisting till it presses tight enough to cut off air. “Stop fucking lying to me.” he hisses out, emotionally fraught. Chen struggles, managing to dislodge his hand. “He told me himself.” he wheezes out. Tao drops the pressure entirely, staring at him confused. Chen massages his throat, swallowing before speaking again. “The day after you left, he was worried and he wouldn’t stop pacing, he wanted to call the police. The next day he was angry at you for leaving without any warning. And on the third day, I came home and he was in your room and he was wearing your black sweatshirt. And he cried and told me that he was in love with you."
“In love with me?” Tao echoes in a whisper, not quite processing that what he’d hoped for so desperately could actually be true. He slumps forward and Chen reaches up to steady him, hand on his shoulder. The other nods, confirming and Tao breathes out softly. “Oh my god.”
“I thought I’d be angry.” Chen says, leaning in closer now and Tao can smell the sage and citrus of his cleanser, the expensive stuff he won’t let Jongin or Tao touch. “Or jealous or something. But I just wanted Jongin to stop crying and everything to be normal again. But I think both Jongin and I realised this week that you’ve become part of our normal.” He rubs his hands together under the table, pulling his sleeves over his knuckles, eyes not meeting his. “I guess you’re just really easy to fall in love with.”
“Why are you blushing?” Tao says dumbly, squinting and turning his head as he leans closer to inspect. Chen scowls, turning his head to the side. “Why are you so dense, you idiot?” He gives Tao a baleful look.
Tao blinks at him until something clicks and he finds himself gaping at Chen who groans and buries his head in his arms. “Fucking kill me.” he mutters, sound muffled.
“Wait, wait.” Tao tries to make sense of this. “You love me ?’
Chen purses his lips. “I can’t say that I’m in love with you. It took me three years to tell Jongin, I loved him and I still probably don’t say it often enough. But I care for you.” His face is serious now as he stares at Tao dead on. “And I want to take care of you.”
Tao stares at him, feeling a strange tingling in his veins that makes his palm sweaty and his heart beat faster. “What are you saying, Chen?”
Chen gets up and walks over to him and Tao feels warm under his gaze. “I’m saying that Jongin loves you. And you him. And with me also loving him, the equation is broken.” A hand comes up to cup Tao’s jaw and Chen is staring down at him, a look in his eyes that Tao’s never seen before and he realises with a jolt that it’s something akin to tenderness. “But if you and I can grow to love each other-then maybe we can make this work.”
They don’t speak for several second after that, silence stretching between them as Tao tries to take in the confession, take in what’s being offered to him, his hand unconsciously coming up to curl around Chen’s arm. The other’s eyes are closed again and Tao nudges him gently. “What are you thinking?”
Chen sucks in a deep breath. “Honestly?” he lets out a wavering laugh. “I’m scared shitless right now that you’re going to reject me. Because I’ve been nothing but awful to you and you should. But I really don’t want you to.”
There’s something so endearing about him right there, eyes screwed shut and the embarrassed tilt of his mouth, like a child waiting to be scolded and Tao feels something wash over, a fierce kind wave of affection and he tugs Chen down till the other is sprawled in lap, their foreheads pressed together. Tao leans against him and listens to his breathing as fast paced and erratic as his own. “I-I can’t promise you anything.” he says and hears Chen’s breathing still. “I don’t even know how this would work with the three of us. But- I’m willing to try.” He takes Chen’s hands turning it over till they’re pressed together palm-to-palm.” And maybe somewhere deep down- I mean deep, deep, down, I’m talking Marianas Trench deep-” he hears Chen snort and Tao feels a grin tugging at the corners of his own mouth. “I care for you too.”
They stare at each other for a little while, sheepish grins on both their faces. There’s a small freckle under Chen’s bottom lips that Tao’s never noticed before and without thinking he leans forward to brush his lips over that spot. Chen shudders, pulling away abruptly. “Come on, grab your stuff. We should go back home and talk to Jongin before I get distracted.” His gaze lingers over Tao’s lips and there’s heat behind it that makes Tao swallow hard. He likes the idea of a distraction. But he likes the thought of going home to Jongin even more.
***
If this was a movie (or a fanfic by a less sadistic author), then everything would fall into place. They’d all fall in love and be happy and have tantric, mind-blowing sex every night. Everything would be perfect.
But this is real life so they have their struggles. Jealousy is the first main hurdle, despite their understanding, it’s hard to navigate the twisted lanes of emotion and reassemble the dynamic to accommodate three without friction. Jongin and Tao act like a teenage couple in the early throes of romance, lingering touches and giddy smiles and Chen endures it for the most part but there are times when his smile goes tight and Jongin will have to go soothe ruffled feathers. And there are times when Tao has to grit his teeth and endure Jongin and Chen laughing about past memories, inside jokes he’s still not completely privy too. It’s difficult. But they try their hardest, Jongin insisting that Chen and Tao spend more time together and urging them to be honest, communicate with each other. Sex gets put on hold ironically enough now that Tao has two boyfriends, he’s getting less then when he was single but Jongin states firmly that they need to work on their domestic life first before moving to the bedroom. It’s slow going but they begin to learn. Chen still trips up sometimes, can’t control his sharp tongue as he makes an offhand remark that stings but now he’s quicker to realise his mistake, will brush a soft kiss over Tao’s knuckles and mumble an apology. Tao learns to give too, stop being so defensive towards every comment and learn all the various facets of Chen he still hasn’t quite grasped. He also discovers he likes it when Chen praises him, the proud lilt to his voice and the smile he receives for doing something right and more and more he finds himself eager to please.
Despite the fact they’ve grown closer, Tao still frets sometimes about what Chen really think of him. With Jongin it’s easy to tell where he stands, Jongin never shies away from confessions of love, written in the steam-fogged mirror after a joint shower or a quick whisper in his ear when he kisses him in the morning. With Chen, Tao’s left clinging to whatever scraps get thrown his way, a smile or peck on the cheek, a soft “Are you okay?” and a hand on his lower back as he slumps on the sofa after a long day of work. Jongin laughs when Tao confides in him, fingers fiddling with his bracelets as they lie sprawled together on the floor. “Tao, Chen isn’t the kind of guy who’s going to make grandiose declarations of love, that just isn’t how he works. Have you ever heard him say it to me?”
“Well, no, but you say it to him all the time.” Tao nips at the delicate skin of Jongin’s wrist, earning a small yelp. “He must reciprocate at least.”
“He does but in his own way. With Chen actions are what matter, not words.” Jongin’s tone is fond as he stands. “Pay attention and you’ll start to see it.”
And surely enough, Tao does.
It’s the little things that might slip by unnoticed if he weren’t looking out for them. Chen irons Tao work clothes for him in the morning, granting him an extra ten minutes in the shower. He’ll sit and watch historical dramas with him and translate the satoori even though he constantly complains about their butchering of history and the acting but still leans close and tucks his head into Tao’s neck to mumble explanations. He may consider Tao’s taste in coffee abysmal (“A pumpkin spice latte is an abomination created by Satanbucks and an insult to the name of coffee.”) and yet when he walks to Tao’s firm to pick him up at the end of the day, there will inevitably be one in his hand as he waits outside. Small details and actions that add up to a bigger picture that Tao starts to notice and each little revelation makes his heart swell and makes him want to respond in kind, grab Chen and press kisses to his face even as the other squirms away with an exaggerated yell before tugging Tao down and responding in kind.
It takes work but on the day when he and Chen return home to find Jongin sitting in the middle of the living room, a cake with “Happy one month anniversary” scrawled in icing on it and a single aromatherapy candle to light up the room and illuminate Jongin’s smile as he leans in to kiss them both, hands intertwining with them as he tugs them towards the bedroom, it all seems worth it.
***
“Fuck, fuck fuck.” Tao lets out the litany of curses slip past his lips as he tries to angle himself to get a better look at what Chen’s doing, hard as it is to prop himself up with his wrists tied to the bedpost above his head.Chen doesn’t seem to appreciate his squirming around, pulling away to deliver a sharp slap to his thigh, the sting sending a jolt through Tao as Chen speaks, voice stern. ‘Stay still, Zitao.”
And Tao falls limp, obediently laying back against the sheets as Chen props his hips up higher, nearly bending Tao in half so he has better access to eat him out.Every touch of his tongue to the sensitive skin of Tao’s hole, every flick of it against the puckered rim has him whimpering, wnating to grind his hips up against Chen’s mouth, get him in deeper but he has his orders.So he struggles to remain still, fingers twitching uselessly as Chen pulls away to blow air over the wet skin, the coolness making his cock twitch at the contrast from thewarm heat of Chen’s palm as it strokes him. He’s impatient now, wants Chen to put something in him, he’s already loose and slick from his tongue but he knows better than to demand. The last time he’d done that Chen had left him tied to the bed for a good half hour with a vibrator up his ass as he calmly played Halo on his laptop with Tao’s pleading as his background music.It doesn’t seem like Chen intends to make suffer today as the other slicks up his finegrs and pulls away to start pushing them inside as Tao mewls pathetically into the pillow. Chen snorts at the sound, bringing his other hand up to rub at a nipple. “You’re lucky I didn’t ask you to stay quiet.”
Three fingers in and Tao’s ready to go, want’s to feel something thicker stretch him out and he spread his legs wider as Chen moves to slick himself up, cockhead pressing teasingly against the rim before he slides in, not bothering to go slow and Tao is grateful as he gasps around the welcome intrusion. Chen doesn’t bother with going slow, sliding out and slamming in with enough force to make the bed frame shake, thrusts going deeper, just barely missing Tao’s prostate but he’s worked up to the point where he thinks he could come from just this.
The suddenly Chen stills entirely, reaching over to rifle through the bedside drawer and Tao lets out an impatient whine. “What are you doing?”
Chen pulls away, hiding whatever is in his hand as he leans over Tao, till their noses brush together. “Do you miss Jonginnie, Zitao?”
Tao gapes at him. “What does that have to do with anything?” he tries to roll his hips up, maybe remind Chen again what they were in the middle of doing and maybe postpone this conversation but then there’s fingers digging into the soft skin of his neck and he stills, heart pounding. Chen’s eyes glint as he stares down at him, gaze predatory. “Answer the question.”
“I do, of course I do, you know that.” he breathes out.Jongin is gone for the week to Busan for a dance showcase with his students and Tao’s been whining about his absence all week. Chen smiles, pulling his hand away and bringing it up to stroke Tao’s hair and he relaxes under the touch. ‘I do too. And just think, Jongin must be so bored with just those brats around.” Chen holds up his phone, flipping it over so Tao can see his own face staring back at him. “So, let’s send him a little surprise.” Chen gives him a small pat on the knee. “You’re going to be good and perform well for Jongin, right?” His tone indicates no space for argument and Tao nods, eager to please as ever. Chen flips his phone over and Tao can see the recording light go on. Chen clears his throat before smiling at the camera. “Hi, Jongin, “ he says and Tao is mildly impressed at how effectively Chen can drop the arousal from his voice. “Just checking in on how you’re doing. Its weird without you-” and Tao tries to bite back a snort as Chen puts into the camera, the sharp pinch to his thigh letting him know he’s not as subtle as he thinks.” Tao missed you too and we decided we wanted to do something special for you. But you should probably put your headphones in and wait til lyou’re alone before watching the rest of this.”
And then Chen’s aiming the camera at him, a slow drag from Tao’s thighs up to his flushed cock and pert nipples, the tan column of his throat as he pants and then finally up to his face, red and needy, eyes glazed with arousal. Tao imagines Jongin watching the video and seeing him like this and it has him moaning, turning to hide his face in the pillow but Chen yanks on his hair, turns him back to the camera. “Let him see you,Zitao.”
He’s mortified when Chen starts thrusting again, camera pointed down to capture the slide of his cock as it fucks into him, red and slick. He starts speaking again after a minute, voice noticeably less steady than before. “He’s so fucking tight, Jonginnie, feels so good.” Tao lets out an embarrassed meep and Chen brings the camera up to capture Tao’s embarrassment. “Don’t let the reaction fool you, he loves that kind of talk. Likes to be told how hot it feels when you’re inside him, how pretty his lips look around a cock.” Chen scratches lightly down Tao’s chest, leaving red lines in his wake. “Such a gorgeous little slut.”
Tao can’t even be embarrassed anymore, the roaring arousal in his ears blocking out Chen’s words as he whimpers, Chen’s thrusts now the perfect pace, every brush of his cock against Tao’s prostate setting off sparks behind his eyes. He’s about ready to cry when Chen slows down again, wants to come so fucking bad but Chen gave him orders and Tao doesn’t want to disappoint him. He puts every ounce of focus in keeping still, sweat soaking his bangs and muscles so tense that he’s practically vibrating. Chen notices, eyes darting up to meet his and he must see something in Tao’s that has him surging forward to kiss him, a messy clash of lips and teeth, the camera momentarily falling from his grip.He pulls away to whisper into Tao’s ears, too low to be caught on camera. “Do you want to show him?’
“Show what?” Tao huffs out and Chen wraps a hand around his neck, applying slight pressure and oh . The kink. It’s still a secret between the two of them, something Chen had accidentally discovered when they’d been wrestling for the remote, Chen mock choking him and stopping when he’d felt Tao’s boner digging into his thigh. They’ve played with this before, Chen pressing his arm against Tao throat while jerking him off in the showers and making him come so hard that his knees gave way.But Tao won’t let him tell Jongin just yet, is embarrassed even though he knows Jongin won’t judge, given his own love for collars. But Chen had obliged and it had never come up when all three of them together. The idea of Jongin finding out this way isn’t how he’d planned it but maybe it’ll be easier. He nods slightly and Chen pulls away,untying his restraints and rubbing at his arms to soothe the ache as blood starts flowing again. “Remember the signal?” Tao nods, making a fistt and tapping it twice against his chest. Chen picks up the camera, and steadies it in one hand again as his other goes down to Tao’s neglected cock, getting him relaxed before they go ahead. “Jongin, Tao has something he wants to share with you. Don’t you?” Tao nods into the camera, throat dry as he throws his head back, the arch of his neck on display. Chen strokes over the bared skin with his fingertips, hand coming to grip his neck and Tao sighs, nervousness fading away into anticipation. Chen starts moving, thrusts slow and precise as he brings the camera down to capture Tao’s lower half. ‘Taozi taking my cock in so well, feels so hot and perfect. But it feels even better when I do this.” There’s a small tap to his neck, all the warning Tao gets before the pressure increases and he can’t breathe, mouth falling open as the world becomes hazy, the strain of his lungs as he gasps desperately contrasting with the pleasure racing up his spine as Chen fucks into him faster, finally letting out a few low moans as Tao clamps down around him in a vice grip.He lets go right as Tao balls his hand into a fist, filming the loud gasps and coughs Tao emits as he sucks in oxygen desperately. He gets a minute of reprieve before Chen’s hand is back, the other growling out “Touch yourself.” before the pressure is back and Tao’s fighting once again between panic and ecstasy,
He’s teetering on the edge when the hand leaves him again, the familiar heat in his gut and he’s begging, tears running from his eyes and leaving wet trails down his face as he begs. ‘Chen please, Chenchen, want to come.” and then Chen loses control, slamming hips roughly into Tao over and over and Tao tries to help, clenches down tight and revels in the throaty cry that earns him. Chen digs his nails into his thighs before he comes, the feeling of warm come filling him up and it feels so good, so filthy, so right . Chen grinds out his release, breathing laboured as he rides the high before pulling out and rolling onto his side, head resting on Tao’s thigh.He props the phone up on Tao’s stomach, adjusting the angle before taking Tao’s cock into his mouth. A few quick sucks are all it takes before he’s coming with a yell,hands clutching at the sheets as he pours his release down Chen’s throat, struggling to keep his hips still because Chen hates being choked. The other licks him clean before turning to the camera, opening his mouth to show the liquid inside before swallowing.He moves one of Tao’s legs out of the way, films the line of come leaking out of his abused hole. Tao is still lying dazed when he feels Chen’s hand on his jaw, tilting his head towards the camera as he lies down beside him. “Hope you enjoyed that, Jonginnie.” Chen purrs out, one hand stroking Tao’s hair and he nuzzles into the touch. “We can’t wait till you’re back home, the things we’re going to do to you.” He turns to Tao. ‘Anythign else you want to add, Tao?”
Tao flushes, knows he looks a mess right now but he still smiles at the camera, bringing his hands up to form a heart. “I love you. And so does he, even though he won’t say it.”
Chen laughs before waving at the camera. ‘Bye Jongin.Good luck with the competition.” Then he’s pressing end record and placing his phone to the side before he cups Tao’s face and pulls him into a kiss, this one uncharacteristically sweet. “You were so good, baby.” her murmurs and Tao lets the endearment wash over him, feeling warm and sated. And sticky. He grimaces at the unpleasant sensation between his legs, poking Chen in the forehead. “Bring the wipes, Chen.”
“Can’t it wait?’ Chen winds and really, he’s such an old man. Tao keeps nudging at him. “I’ll get sick and we’ll ruin the sheets, Chen, come on.” Chen lets out an exasperated huff before complying and Tao spread his legs to give him better access.
Once he’s clean, they both curl up under the quilt, the late autumn chill making them huddle closer for warmth. Chen is almost asleep, eyes drooping when Tao whispers to him. “Hey, Chenchen.”
“What now?” is the grumble he gets in return.
Tao wraps an arm around his waist leaning in to press a kiss to his ear. “I managed to get the day off on Friday.I was thinking we could go to the petstore.”
“You want another dog?” Chen mumbles. “Isn’t Jjangah enough?”
“She’s barely ever here anymore. Besides, Jongin won’t mind.” Tao insists.
“Okay, okay, we’ll go, stop hounding me.” Chen mumbles, voice muffled by the pillow. “You’ll probably pick out some frou frou little rat and name it Bon Bon or something.”
Tao snorts before reaching over to turn off the light and letting the darkness envelop them. He leans down again. “Chenchen.”
“I swear to god- what ?” Chen hisses. Tao smiles against the back of his neck. “I love you.”
“Go to sleep, Tao.” is the only reply he gets. But he knows what Chen really means.
***