Another long night...
I've been through the whole spectrum of emotions again today. I'm left at the end with only meaningless summaries of what I once thought.
I don't understand what people see in me.
I'm afraid of getting old.
I don't want Jay to leave.
I have an incredible fear of people leaving me emotionally.
I have a lot of issues to work out with myself.
She said she would call me tonight, but didn't. I guess she owed me one.
I'm sorry.
Jason gave me his old guitar. Listening to Joe is the only time I've ever -ever- wanted to be able to play guitar. I listened to his demo CD in a parking lot tonight and cried.
I'm alone, and I'm going to suffer that way. I don't know if its going to help or hurt, but I think I need to be on my own for this. I hurt. Its amazing how in the end its always ourselves that hurt us. Amazing how the true pain comes from inside and not from anyone else. Other people make great excuses to blame pain on, and make equally great excuses not to deal with our own real problems.
I wish I could take my own advice. I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't like. I know whats dangerous and painful. Instead of being able to move forwards, I'm simply moving away in a futile attempt to pretend like I'll eventually be meaninglessly accepted by others.
The only person here to comfort me is the girl on my beer bottle. What a horrible life to live. I'm not ready tonight for any other.
I don't understand what people see in me.
I'm afraid of getting old.
I don't want Jay to leave.
I have an incredible fear of people leaving me emotionally.
I have a lot of issues to work out with myself.
She said she would call me tonight, but didn't. I guess she owed me one.
I'm sorry.
Jason gave me his old guitar. Listening to Joe is the only time I've ever -ever- wanted to be able to play guitar. I listened to his demo CD in a parking lot tonight and cried.
I'm alone, and I'm going to suffer that way. I don't know if its going to help or hurt, but I think I need to be on my own for this. I hurt. Its amazing how in the end its always ourselves that hurt us. Amazing how the true pain comes from inside and not from anyone else. Other people make great excuses to blame pain on, and make equally great excuses not to deal with our own real problems.
I wish I could take my own advice. I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't like. I know whats dangerous and painful. Instead of being able to move forwards, I'm simply moving away in a futile attempt to pretend like I'll eventually be meaninglessly accepted by others.
The only person here to comfort me is the girl on my beer bottle. What a horrible life to live. I'm not ready tonight for any other.