Ouch
Well its certainly been an interesting couple of days. A lot of confusion, a lot of questions, a lot of not understanding. The only real thing I have to say is this: My first experience with Goldschlager (which would be right now) is proving to be a painful one. The conclusion I came to before the alchohol is this though: fuck. I've moved a lot today emotionally, and I think that I'm okay with where things are at right now. I hurt her. I'm sure I did, it may be a lot or a little, I'm not entirely sure. I know I did, though. Right now, I'm okay with it. I'll have some pain to deal with, but the issues are much more mine than hers. Dwelling on the past is a waste of time, yet easier said than done. Things got blurred quickly over the last week and a half, and I need to go through a day or two of reiterating what I learned over 6 months ago, but I think I get it now. I'll be okay when its over. I'm alright. On a side note, Kyle fucking rocks. He's got a heart of gold. There's very few people out there like him, and I need...not want or hope, but need...to spend more time with him. Today I've realized how amazing both Kyle and Rachel are in very spontanious ways. I love you both in ways I hope one day you'll understand.