I know we will never die
So, I've changed. I acknowledge this. I want to change back, revert back to the old Lupe-- the one that is here, somewhere, just buried under some things. I will change. I am going to keep growing and stop lacking. I want my friends back.
Things have been crazy lately. I feel like a zombie. I don't know why or what's happening but I feel dead all over. An expanse of death is rushing through my veins and pouring out my eyes and leaking into my conversation and I want it to leave me alone. I have no reason for this unsettled feeling. I left school today because I felt awful and looked the part. I'm so confused and conflicted! I am happy with my life, why can't it be happy with me? Although I am not entirely happy with myself, I'm getting there. I'm so close. I can almost taste the self-acceptance I've been constantly waiting for. Come here!
I am happy with my friends and the romancin' situation. I am happy with my family. I have so many reasons to be happy right now. It's relieving...I had been doing awesome in school. The past two weeks have just been beating me down. I'll shape up.
I read Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut and I fell in love with that man. I just want to read some more of his books. Now though, I'm reading Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice. It's Sarah's favorite book and I told her I'd read it so that's that. It's actually kinda good so far, but I'm only about 20 pages in so we'll see. Today at lunch Sarah was just quoting Louis and it was so funny because it was like "Then I was yet a man. My wife died in childbirth. I lived just south of New Orleans, I owned a plantation..." etc. It was just really funny because it was so strange and out of context. haha
The main reason I am updating is because nobody has since the 7th and LJ just looked so desolate when I was lurking it earlier and I felt like immaslave4u could use some luv.
guh
xoxo
Things have been crazy lately. I feel like a zombie. I don't know why or what's happening but I feel dead all over. An expanse of death is rushing through my veins and pouring out my eyes and leaking into my conversation and I want it to leave me alone. I have no reason for this unsettled feeling. I left school today because I felt awful and looked the part. I'm so confused and conflicted! I am happy with my life, why can't it be happy with me? Although I am not entirely happy with myself, I'm getting there. I'm so close. I can almost taste the self-acceptance I've been constantly waiting for. Come here!
I am happy with my friends and the romancin' situation. I am happy with my family. I have so many reasons to be happy right now. It's relieving...I had been doing awesome in school. The past two weeks have just been beating me down. I'll shape up.
I read Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut and I fell in love with that man. I just want to read some more of his books. Now though, I'm reading Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice. It's Sarah's favorite book and I told her I'd read it so that's that. It's actually kinda good so far, but I'm only about 20 pages in so we'll see. Today at lunch Sarah was just quoting Louis and it was so funny because it was like "Then I was yet a man. My wife died in childbirth. I lived just south of New Orleans, I owned a plantation..." etc. It was just really funny because it was so strange and out of context. haha
The main reason I am updating is because nobody has since the 7th and LJ just looked so desolate when I was lurking it earlier and I felt like immaslave4u could use some luv.
guh
xoxo