Deep... Deep in the Fiction we Live

[iminlovewith8]

Well hello... kind of a weird week as far as the thought process goes. I dont know , this book ive been reading which is fucking amazing its called The Perks of Being a wall flower , and honestly i dont think ihave read a book like this ever before. Like you can honestly relate to every sentance the kid is saying only because he has the balls to say it. Deep down it seems like you can connect to the kid , but yet you cant because although you feel the same way your not as blunt about it , or not as afraid to share it as he is. Its amazing. And it started to make me think . I dont know , supposedly great literature is supposed to be able to change you , and I have yet to read a book that actually does that to you ... until now . its amazing. I dunno , maybe its a little weird , but i really started thinking about the future for once. Kind of odd.. cus i thought i did before and then i realized that i really wasnt i was only looking at the future in hopes and not realisticly. As much as I want me and Jordan to forever be , its hard to say that it will. Kinda bothers me to think that and i dont want any false ambitions floating around about that either, its just that i know somehow it just wont work out , and i know it will kill me for that time period... but i dont know .. yeah. And ive been writing alot more songs , but i am at gregs so i cant post them. I really think that although i am very open minded , people know very little about me .. and although i like that ... thats what causes alot of my problems. I know that Jordan knows alot about me ... but yet theres still so much she doesnt know , and its not liek that im hiding it , its just that its very hard to show , only a person who really knows me will find it . I know she will find me sometime , and she maybe the only one who really does ... and i wont mind , because if there is one person i would want to know me the most is her. Maybe its the lack of sleep and the fake-caffeine awakeness. But i feel that people really dont understand what their point i until its too late , and the ones that do ahead of time are frowned upon and made to look bad. But enough of this stuff... I must go learn this song by Opeth called To Bid You Farewell. Its an amazing song .. everyone download it. Tomorow is Snook-o-ween and I get to hang out with the Amazing Jordan all day :-) . So im gonna go learn ths song and probobly hit the hay. Peace

... I will die for you but not die for you...