(no subject)
Ehh well things are getting better i suppose... amanda and i are getting along fine, but i still miss her like crazy. i dont think she realizes how much shes changed me by doing this... i think i feel like she did when we were going out. she cared so much about everything, and after every problem she wanted to make sure everything was ok and that we still loved each other. i kind of miss that, the caring that is... it seems like i dont have anyone to care about me like she did... noone can take her place... she didnt call again tonight but she called durring the day which made me feel better. i asked her to talk to her mom about being able to talk to me again but i guess she said no.
i dont know this whole thing just really sucks. if amanda doesnt get back togeather with me i dont know what im going to do with myself... i was thinking about posibally joining the mc, but i dont know... its not going to make my problems go away, just take me farther away from my problems... i just cant stand not being able to hug her, and hear her when shes happy, and get that look out of her eyes that says everythings going to be better... its been over 2 weeks but it feels like 2 months. i hope she has fun at her jr prom, im probabley going to my dads that day just to get my mind off of the fact that im not going with her bc her mom set her up with someone else...
i know i keep saying this but i just want to make everything better then it was before. i dont know if amanda realizes that or not... but maybe shes getting used to the single life and enjoying it... i personally think shes torn between being in a relationship and being able to be with who ever she wants. im sure shes going to chose the second option, but you never know i could get lucky... but of course with my luck shell still be telling people shes single when shes going out with me. i dont know. I wish i would just go away, and forget everthing happend... maybe amanda would be better off without me... she seems to have more fun without me, (i encouraged her to have fun with her friends while we were going out but she insisted she was a stay at home girl) i really dont want another girl becides her... shes what makes me wake up in the mornings (even now without her going out with me, i wake up hopeing for a call) i dont really get "quality sleep" anymore... not just me going out with friends but this whole situation has me worried.
Life just doesnt seem worth persuing without her...
But i guess i have to wait for the day when she comes back... shes worth it!
i dont know this whole thing just really sucks. if amanda doesnt get back togeather with me i dont know what im going to do with myself... i was thinking about posibally joining the mc, but i dont know... its not going to make my problems go away, just take me farther away from my problems... i just cant stand not being able to hug her, and hear her when shes happy, and get that look out of her eyes that says everythings going to be better... its been over 2 weeks but it feels like 2 months. i hope she has fun at her jr prom, im probabley going to my dads that day just to get my mind off of the fact that im not going with her bc her mom set her up with someone else...
i know i keep saying this but i just want to make everything better then it was before. i dont know if amanda realizes that or not... but maybe shes getting used to the single life and enjoying it... i personally think shes torn between being in a relationship and being able to be with who ever she wants. im sure shes going to chose the second option, but you never know i could get lucky... but of course with my luck shell still be telling people shes single when shes going out with me. i dont know. I wish i would just go away, and forget everthing happend... maybe amanda would be better off without me... she seems to have more fun without me, (i encouraged her to have fun with her friends while we were going out but she insisted she was a stay at home girl) i really dont want another girl becides her... shes what makes me wake up in the mornings (even now without her going out with me, i wake up hopeing for a call) i dont really get "quality sleep" anymore... not just me going out with friends but this whole situation has me worried.
Life just doesnt seem worth persuing without her...
But i guess i have to wait for the day when she comes back... shes worth it!