(no subject)
I used to be so damned ungrateful. And I still find myself slipping back into that 'poor me' kind of attitude every now and again. I need to avoid it because once I get on a roll with it, it's really hard to stop going. Lately I've had a lot of difficulty with forgiving myself for the past. I mean, I had the opportunity to be completely happy, and I blew it. For what? I don't even know. I guess I have a disease and that disease tried to get me, but I'd already been educated on that shit. I had the solution. I had the tools. Why didn't I use them? Then I wouldn't be spending all these extra hours crying, missing.... whatever. What's done is done, and oh... it's done. So, yeah. I'm going to try to maintain the 'attitude of gratitude'. When I do that, and stay busy I don't think about what has happened in the past cos I don't have the time. But I don't know if that's a good thing. I mean, is it avoidance? Don't know. Right now, don't care. I just don't want to be miserable.
I feel like it should be night time right now, but it's morning. I went on a on bike ride, and besides the bouts of dizziness I'm getting now, it felt great. I never gave enough props to cyclists. It's a tough sport. Totally kicked my ass this morning.
I think I'm going to go read a book. The computer screen is fucking with my eyes.
I feel like it should be night time right now, but it's morning. I went on a on bike ride, and besides the bouts of dizziness I'm getting now, it felt great. I never gave enough props to cyclists. It's a tough sport. Totally kicked my ass this morning.
I think I'm going to go read a book. The computer screen is fucking with my eyes.