2011 end of year meme.
1. What did you do this year that you’d never done before?
Signed a lease with just DK and no other roommates.
Took a self-imposed plunge into psychopharma.
Hosted a friend coming to town for work! I wish I could say it was more sleepover-ish but alas, the workplace(s) beckon.
And then a lot of work-related stuff: I quit my job with no other backup; I worked craft retail and learned the basics of jewelry assembly by observation; I waited tables and learned that I’m not a bad server despite my awkwardness; and partied at the VMFA (for work, sigh).
2. Did anyone close to you give birth?
A friend, though not a super close one.
3. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope, and I’m grateful for this.
4. What places did you visit?
I don’t think I’ve left the Richmond metro area except to go to Roanoke...ugh, I am the lamest.
5. What would you like to have in the next year that you lacked this year?
FUN. Relaxation, and therapy to be able to relax. The feeling that I can reap the rewards of my hard work (without feeling like the opportunity cost is making more money).
6. What date from this year will remain etched upon your memory?
Again, more work related crap.
January 8: the day I resigned from SBHD.
July 5: I started at SCDHC.
December 12: starting at Tumblr.
7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Rebuilding my employability from the bottom up. Taking the plunge into the dark waters of psychopharma and surviving. Keeping the cash rolling and paying shit on time.
8. What was your biggest failure of the year?
This would have to be a three way tie: My failure to support DK emotionally as well as I could have. My failure to be more socially aware of my friends and their needs. My failure to look beyond the needs of paying for our expenses.
9. What was your biggest surprise?
Getting hired by the internet! (groan)
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Got minor sinus infections, but I let them pass without antibiotics. Asthma is under control thanks to Dulera--I’m a big fan.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Am I allowed to say a food product? Because, Chobani mango yogurt, where have you been all my life. Also: my growing collection of black wearable things.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Can I say mine? I’m going to go ahead and say mine. I’m proud of myself for keeping my poop in a group. 2011 being what it’s been--this has been no easy feat.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I’m going to go ahead and use an entity/organization rather than an individual--HUD. EHLP is, was, and will be a hot, hot mess. My fear is that it’s made people further behind on their mortgages than they may have been otherwise. I’m thankful for having an exit strategy but I remain very, very worried as to what will happen if this doesn’t come through.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Necessities: shelter, food, utilities. We didn’t have any discretionary income for most of the year, and once acquired I spent it by paying down debts. And once I was almost done with that--we were once more in a position with no real discretionary income. Hopefully though, that will be changing soon for the better.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Getting hired at SCDHC, and getting hired with benefits...but aside from that? Nothing.
Now I hate it when people say FML because it is often hyperbole, but...FML. The upside of my SSRI/SNRI mixture is that I can hold it together and keep it moving. The down side? That everything feels flat.
16. What song/album will always remind you of this year?
Hahaha, that’s cute! You think I had time to listen to music.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
A) Happier or sadder?
Happier. I have prospects and hella benefits and shit.
B) Thinner or fatter?
About the same, probably. I mean, my calves are toned enough to fit into my old boots again, but my tits continue their takeover of my torso. And it doesn’t help that omg I have been binge eating like a motherfucker for the past 2 months.
C) Richer or poorer?
The answer would have been poorer, and then I got hired by the Internet. And I’m positioned to take on job number five on Tuesday, so we’ll see how that goes.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Cultivate my hobbies. Read more. Explore my city more when I was unemployed. See my friends; build social capital.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Focus less on work/making money, and more specifically, on my employability as a measure of self worth. Because I need to be more than just a body that can do work.
Oh yeah, and binge eating. I went through periods of not eating and overeating and generally felt kind of disordered. Still do, actually. YEEHAW.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
I went to Stalem, got some cash moneys, got my car checked out. Nothing big.
21. How will you be spending New Year’s?
hahahaha I worked a full day, then had an ataque de nervios and couldn't be bothered to deal with going out. FOREVER ALONE
22. What was your favorite TV show?
Parks & Rec. DANCE UP ON ME JEAN RALPHIO. So, so consistently tight.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Dumb question. Pass.
24. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Still N/A.
25. How many one night stands?
Nope. Like Rufus, I’m a one man guy.
25. What was the best book(s) you read?
Actually...............I really didn’t read a whole lot this year. For shame.
I was surprisingly touched by Kenzaburo Oe’s The Changeling, and enjoyed English Passengers by Matthew Kneale. I’m still in the process of reading Moby Dick--which I started this summer!--and I’d like nothing better than to be outside somewhere warm to finish reading it.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Yeah, uh...I haven’t been doing a whole lot of music browsing at all this year.
27. What did you want and get?
Referring to last year’s list of things I wanted and didn’t get: Respect, acknowledgement, jobs that aren’t soul-sucking, a pay raise (albeit with a different job). To expand on that, I have been immensely privileged to work with this team. I am sad to be leaving a team of really amazing, committed, hilarious, grounded people!
28. What did you want and not get?
Material goods: prescription sunglasses, Frye shitstomper boots, a fauxgagement ring to keep the pesky men-folk away.
29. What were your favorite films of this year?
Ha! I almost never went to the movies, so...the most entertaining thing I saw was probably "Beginners."
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Uhhh...Joseph put together a little shindig at Amy’s a touch after the birthday proper, but it was nice. I turned 23. I don’t remember what I actually did on the day of.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being able to feel things properly. The SNRIs and SSRIs have done well to keep me in one piece but when the opportunity cost is numbness of feeling, I wonder if I made the right decision.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept this year?
I think, after almost 10 years, I have properly attained the aesthetic I wanted as a teenager: communist chic.
33. What kept you sane?
Actually, I think I can say with some authority that I lacked that this year too. 2010 may have been full of nervous breakdowns but 2011 has been full of tension and the only way for me to not dwell on it was to work. All the time. If I wasn’t working, I was trying to think of other ways to make money. And the more I think about it, the more depressed I get, and that's no hyperbole. So...that's enough of that.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Eh, we know I have pet issues, I don’t think we need a recap, do we? DREAM Act, uranium mining in VA, DADT. Though for pure entertainment value: the most popcorn-worthy was OWS vs. Tea Party. Good lord.
35. Who did you miss?
I’d truly love to see more of my friends more often, but the opportunity cost of hanging out always felt too high--it was too stressful to chill out if I knew we wouldn’t have enough money to pay our bills, y’know? And in that state of preoccupation there is no way I’d be capable of being fun.
That said, now that I saw Momiji again at DK’s fambly Christmas, I could afford to have more Momiji in my life. (So, same as last year.)
36. Who was the best new person you met?
My coworker Tanya, who I respect greatly for her patience, insight, and the enviable ability to hold it together and keep it moving (with two kids in tow!).
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year.
Well, here’s one I’m still working hard to learn: financial stability may not be worth my mental and emotional disquiet. Sometimes I’m really sold on this. Sometimes I’m not.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
I’m a walking nightmare, an arsenal of doom
I kill conversation when I walk into the room
I’m a three line whip, I’m the sort of thing they ban
(and just because I’ve already gotten this far in the chorus)
I’m a walking disaster, I’m a demolition man*
* = the Grace Jones version, of course. What? This felt about right.