Punching March In Its Fucking Throat
March kicked my ass. I probably left my apartment a total of 4 times. I was stricken with the flu, double ear infection, double eye infection, and a sinus infection. Then, when my ears finally popped after three weeks, I am finally able to hear my breaks grinding every time I slow down. God knows how long they've been doing that. Apparently enough to fuck my routers. $350. But fuck it. Im healthy! Time to become the social butterfly emerging from his cocoon. Time to get back in shape. So I head off to Sport Rock expecting a difficult day due to my atrophy. Turns out i did pretty well, some v1's, almost to the level when i stopped. And I wasnt even sore the next day. But the next night was one of the worst I have ever had.
Apparently i managed to strain not only my back but my upper abdomen at the same fucking time. Imagine someone constantly punching you in the stomach and back for 6 hours straight. I was literally rolling on the ground in pain. I popped god knows how many ibuprofen. No effect. I was so worn out. All I wanted to do was sleep but the pain kept me up all night. So finally at 5am I drive to a 24hour CVS. That was an adventure in itself since the sleeping pills started to kick in. Kinda like driving after a 12pack. So I stumble into CVS wearing sweatpants, slippers, and a hoodie. Sweat was dripping down my face from the pain. My hair mashed up on both sides. I actually doubled over in the medicine isle and stayed on one knee for a few minutes. Then the cops show up.
The nice old lady behind the counter apparently thought I was a drug addict trying to break into the pharmacy. I told the surprisingly friendly cops of my injuries and they let me on my way with a $40 heating pad and $20 worth of over the counter pain medicine. I finally passed out around 7 with a heating pad wrapped around my stomach and enough pills in my belly to destroy an elephants liver. I feel a lot better now but seriously, why does crazy shit like this keep happening to me? Is my guardian angel just a stoned hippie sitting on a couch watching The Jeffersons reruns? Does lady luck think im a sexist asshole? Does God really hate me for looking at all that internet porn in college? Give me a break! I had a T1 connection! Fuck March. And April better be not have anything up its sleeve if it knows whats good for it.
That is all....
Apparently i managed to strain not only my back but my upper abdomen at the same fucking time. Imagine someone constantly punching you in the stomach and back for 6 hours straight. I was literally rolling on the ground in pain. I popped god knows how many ibuprofen. No effect. I was so worn out. All I wanted to do was sleep but the pain kept me up all night. So finally at 5am I drive to a 24hour CVS. That was an adventure in itself since the sleeping pills started to kick in. Kinda like driving after a 12pack. So I stumble into CVS wearing sweatpants, slippers, and a hoodie. Sweat was dripping down my face from the pain. My hair mashed up on both sides. I actually doubled over in the medicine isle and stayed on one knee for a few minutes. Then the cops show up.
The nice old lady behind the counter apparently thought I was a drug addict trying to break into the pharmacy. I told the surprisingly friendly cops of my injuries and they let me on my way with a $40 heating pad and $20 worth of over the counter pain medicine. I finally passed out around 7 with a heating pad wrapped around my stomach and enough pills in my belly to destroy an elephants liver. I feel a lot better now but seriously, why does crazy shit like this keep happening to me? Is my guardian angel just a stoned hippie sitting on a couch watching The Jeffersons reruns? Does lady luck think im a sexist asshole? Does God really hate me for looking at all that internet porn in college? Give me a break! I had a T1 connection! Fuck March. And April better be not have anything up its sleeve if it knows whats good for it.
That is all....