The Doctor is In
IC Date: Day 12, Month 8, Turn 2, 7th Pass
Players: Nari, Vanya
Location: Vanya's Room
Synopsis: Nari comes by one evening to begin learning the art of massage, since Br'ce wanted some of his riders to know the skill. Things get a bit complicated when Nari is asked what's wrong. (Scene FTB'd when Nari had to go IRL to take care of an injured hubby...)
Vanya's Room,
Early Evening
There isn't much a person can do to disguise the fact this room is little more than a cave. The walls are stone, smoothed by hand or by some long-forgotten or long-gone machine used by those who first built the weyr. The door is solid wood, sturdy, the fixtures utilitarian. The basic furniture is all there -- bed, table, two chairs, wall shelves and a wooden storage chest. Simple. As is the occupant, since there is little in the way of fancy knickknacks or personal possessions. The bed has plain sheets, two down-filled pillows, and a warm, woven blanket in dark green. The chest holds clothes, and more blankets as a bastion against the cold, High Reaches winter. A glow basket hangs from the wall over the bed, another sits on the table, glows replenished whenever needed by those unseen people who perform this task.
On a shelf above the table are a bottle of ink, writing instruments, sand and some already prepared hides. Very rare and precious paper documents are carefully arranged on another shelf, held down by a polished stone collected from some place. Yet another shelf holds vials and bottles of lotions, astringents, and other containers of herbs and oils. The only luxurious thing here, if it can be called that, is a hand-made rug that lies beside the bed on top of a thick layer of reeds. Stone floors are notoriously cold on bare feet. A black cloak hangs on a peg by the door, as does a gittern, the instrument carefully wrapped in a protective bag. A basket, leather satchel and two pairs of boots sit on the floor beneath.
There's open time in the evening, and since Vanya was interested in getting Nari at least started on the basics of massage and physical maintenance, she sent a note to the greenrider saying it was a good night to start. So, when the knock comes, Vanya has a good idea who it might be, and answers the door with a smile. "Nari, welcome," she says, standing to one side so the girl can enter. "C'mon in, and have a seat," she adds, gesturing to the chairs as she closes the door. "Since I don't have a practice dummy, I thought maybe we could go over the hides I have. There's juice, if you'd like something to drink."
There is a stiffness to her movement as the greenrider walks in. Nari offers a small, somewhat tense smile to Vanya. "Thank you." She takes a quick look around the room, eyes faintly hooded and still bearing some purple smudges underneath them. For once she's out of her riding leathers, but she is no less covered. A long sleeved blue tunic is fitted over dark leggings and her now-shoulder length hair hangs loose. Nari finds a spot and sits, somewhat gingerly.
It takes no special genius for Vanya to notice the stiffness, or how gingerly Nari sits. "You all right?" she inquires, moving to the other chair and studying the greenrider. "If there's anything I can do, just ask," she says, sitting. "Anyway, I have a few hides here with diagrams and information on specific muscle groups I think are most affected by dragonriding. I was hoping Br'ce might be free tonight, as well, because I wanted him to learn along with you and D'ven. But..." She shrugs, handing over three hides with excellent drawings of the human body on them, various muscles neatly labeled. "If you've questions, too, please feel free to ask."
There is a bit of a cough at the mention of Br'ce. Nari also can't hide the hint of a blush that brings color to her otherwise pale cheeks. "Zalmayth rose. Didn't quite make it to the bed." The words are spoken with the same inflection of someone asking after the weather. "I'm fine with just the hides. Trust me."
Vanya "ohs" and nods. Well, I've some liniment which will ease the aches and stiffness, if you'd like. It doesn't smell great, but it works." She picks up a hide herself, on which she's written some notes. "First off, the place I've noticed most riders seem to be most affected is the lower lumbar area, and the sides. I suppose that comes from the sideways twisting motion that goes with tossing sacks of firestone. Since the legs are spread at such a wide angle, there's not a lot of support while you're on dragonback."
Nari concentrates on Vanya's words, looking from the woman to her notes repeatedly. She's displaying her respect for the journeyman by paying rapt attention to the lesson. She nods unconsciously, "Yes, I can see what you mean."
"Good. That's the thing we want to watch for, especially in male riders. Women aren't affected as much, apparently, and I think that's because we have a lower center of gravity than men. We're built for child bearing, after all, which means when our legs spread wide like that, our bodies aren't as strained. Men have a higher center of gravity, mostly in their upper arms and chest area. So it puts more stress on their lower back." Her explanation is given with pointing to the figure on the hide. "That's my theory, at least, and I haven't found anything to dispute it, yet. I'm still doing research, so this is a project still in progress. L'ret has, at E'sere's urging, instigated a series of exercises I developed that have, according to him, really cut down on the aches after ground and air drills."
There is a hint of a flush again at the mention of child bearing, though Nari just nods, listening to the lecture. "I'm sure Br'ce would be interested in implementing any thing that reduces aches and pains."
"That's what I was told, at least, which is why he wants members of his wing to learn how to take care of one another, I'm guessing," Vanya agrees, nodding. "Bear in mind, some riders aren't going to tell you they hurt, which is something I run into often. It's important to let a healer know if there's any unusual pain after drills or fighting thread. Other than thread-score, I mean. And, by unusual, I mean something nagging, that just doesn't go away after a hot soaking."
There is a faintly guarded look in Nari's eyes though the rest of her expression seems open enough. "You can usually tell. But. Yes. There is a hesitancy to admit to hurt." Nari runs a hand through her hair, eyes hooded.
"And there's a danger in hiding that hurt," Vanya says, her voice concerned. "I know a lot of people, not just riders, who view admitting to pain as a sign of weakness. It's not." She sighs. "It's mostly prevalent in men, but I know a few women who don't want to say when something hurts, or wave it off. The problem there, is that it may come back to haunt them in the future. A simple muscle strain, if not tended to, may stop hurting after a while. That doesn't mean it's gone away, it only means the body has accepted the strain as being normal. It isn't, and turns down the road that old injury can come back. Only thing is, the body's used to the new condition, and compensates, but compensation only goes so far."
Nari continues to listen, nodding and paying close attention. She doesn't really seem to have much to add, appearing even more subdued than usual. Which for her... well. It explains the silence. She does appear however to be taking it all in.
Vanya doesn't say anything for a few minutes, studying the girl. "Nari, I know this is probably none of my business, but is there something wrong?" She sets her notes aside, and adds, "You don't know me very well, but I am a healer, and part of my job here is to listen if people need to talk. I don't judge, and what's said to me is confidential. I took an oath, and I don't break that oath. Anything that's said in this room, stays in this room. I give you my solemn oath on that." She doesn't press the issue, just leaves it there. The door is open, and the doctor is in. It's up to Nari to walk in.
Wetting her lips quickly Nari glances up and over to Vanya. "The last few days have been... difficult. Aida left Br'ce and it left him... he's in pain. We were in the middle of discussing it and things got... confusing. Which... was only compounded by the fact that Zalmayth chose that moment to rise. It's just..." The greenrider takes a breath, "..complicated."
Vanya listens and nods. "I had heard they broke up, yes," she says softly, her tone filled with compassion and sympathy. "Well, not the best timing in the world for her to rise," she comments. "I can't speak from any experience in that, of course, and can only go by what I've been told about flights. I wouldn't think anyone holds Zalmayth's rising as a reason to be upset with you, and you certainly shouldn't blame yourself for it, either." She takes a deep breath, reaching for a carafe of juice, pouring two glasses, offering one to Nari. "Complications seem to be a way of life around here, Nari," she says, smiling a little. "I understand you and Br'ce are old friends. Are you afraid this will affect the friendship negatively?"
Again there is a guarded air to Nari and she half-shrugs. "I think it already has." There is an attempt at a smile, though the expression seems to have no heart to it. "There was... It's..." She sighs and wets her lips again.
"Just relax, Nari," Vanya says, still in that soft, compassionate tone. "Tell me what you want to tell me, and I'll listen. It's important you put this into perspective. I understand it's difficult to talk about deeply personal things, but sometime a person not associated with a situation can offer insights that we, ourselves, cannot see because we're too close to it. I'm not the kind of healer who specializes in helping people with emotional probles, but I will listen. And I'll only offer advice if you ask me for it." She smiles at Nari, and indicates the redfruit juice. "Take your time, and start at the beginning, if you wish. I've the feeling this goes deeper than just bad timing."
Nari gets to her feet and goes to pour herself some juice. Staying on her feet she focuses on her glass. "While we were talking about his breakup, Br'ce had said something about wanting me..." She's going to chap her lips if she keeps licking them. Covering the nervous habit with a drink of juice there is a pause. "I'd told him I'd hold on as long as he wanted." She smiles then, her lips in a tight little line. "And he told me he didn't want me to ever let go." Nari looks up, still with that tight little smile. "And then when I asked him what he meant, he kissed me."
Again Vanya listens, nodding. "I'm sure the break up had him distressed, and he needed the comfort of someone he knew and trusted," she comments. "It's only natural he would turn to you, since you've known him for a good number of turns. At least that's the impression I got the first night you arrived." She takes a sip of her own juice, setting the glass down on the table. "Is it that you didn't want to let go of him that bothers you, Nari?" she asks, then pauses considering something. "Perhaps a better question is what you feel for Br'ce, the other night aside."
"He doesn't love me, Vanya." Nari replies with a snort. "He loves Aida. And I..." She shakes her head. "No. I don't love Br'ce. Not that way." Her brow furrows lightly. "He's my confidant. He knows all of my secrets, he knows... me. In a way that no one else does. He's..." There is a secret little smile there that might be more revealing than she may know or even recognize. "Br'ce." Another drink of juice is taken and she continues. "He was clinging to me because he was feeling lost. I know that. He might have been confused at first... but..." Nari shakes her head. "He doesn't want me like that."
"Are you sure of that?" Vanya questions. "It's possible he could be harboring feelings you didn't recognize as such. Sometimes stressful situations can bring out truths we either overlooked or missed. I'm not discounting what you're telling me, and you obviously know him far better than I do. Yet, what I'm seeing here is the fact that you're seem more troubled over this than simply feeling bad because your dragon rose unexpectedly at the wrong time." She purses her lips. "Again, I'm not an expert, and I could be seeing something that's not there. If Br'ce loves Aida -- and I don't doubt he does -- and you're not in love with Br'ce yourself, then why has this affected you so deeply. Br'ce turned to you when he was hurting, and you comforted him as his long-time, trusted friend. There is nothing wrong with that, although ... perhaps the sex confused the issue? Is this what you're saying?"
"It upset me because Br'ce has always been safe." Nari says with a little heat to her voice. "He's the one man I don't have to look at and worry about because he was /Br'ce/ and he wouldn't ever judge me in the way that men do." This may be the heart of the issue. "When he told me that he wanted something, implied that perhaps I've been as blind to him as D," SHe bites that off right quick, "..that I could have been blind to his feelings for turns..." Nari swallows, "I know it was his grief talking. It has to be. If it wasn't... then I... I have been hurting him for a very long time."
Vanya watches Nari for a long time. "Judge you in the way that men do?" she echoes, making it a question. "Forgive me, Nari, but how do you think men judge you?" Perhaps she's not an expert at this, but something in that statement hits close enough to home that Vanya cannot help but focus on it. "Better yet, how do you judge yourself?" she asks, her hand closing around the juice glass a little tightly. "Perhaps that would help me understand better what you're trying to convey here. Self-perception is very important, Nari, but all too often we see ourselves as what we /think/ is how others see us, not what we really are."
Arching a brow Nari looks over at Vanya with a clearly bitter expression. "Look at me Vanya. I'm..." She stops, laughing, "I've got a face like a sickly runner beast." The words have a twist to them, a strange inflection that conveys that they are perhaps not her own. "A body like a half-starved tunnel snake." The twist to her lips grows deeper. "The point is, Br'ce... Br'ce never made me feel like that mattered. You know? I have no idea why I'm talking about this." She lets out a mirthless laugh. "This is so ridiculous." She drains her glass.
Vanya does look at her, but shakes her head. "Nari -- no, you're --" She stops, swallowing. "It's not ridiculous, Nari. It's obviously something you feel strongly about, and that makes it important." She takes a deep breath, exhales slowly. "Not many of us are blessed with the kind of beauty some women possess, and it's very difficult to see ourselves other than as flawed for that reason, or others. Maybe I shouldn't be saying this, but till recently, I never saw myself as anything more than a piece of furniture that could walk and talk. I knew I wan't as beautiful as my cousins, and therefore, I wasn't worth anything. It took looking at myself through someone else's eyes to realize I /was/ worth something, and that just because I wasn't beautiful didn't mean I was worthless. Don't sell yourself short, Nari. Sometimes the best reflection of ourselves is through the eyes of a true friend." She pauses. "And being seen as someone trusted and loyal and caring is good."
Shaking her head Nari frowns, "I appreciate that Vanya. But that isn't the underlying issue." She lifts a hand to drag it through her hair. "And the issue is so not why I'm here. I'm here to learn." Nari reminds gently. "I should do that." There is the metaphorical clang as her walls clank into place once more.
Vanya accepts this, and nods. "And I'll teach," she says quietly. "Just don't sell yourself short, is all I'm saying." She picks up the hide with her notes, scanning over them, allowing the girl to retain her protective walls. "Do you have any questions about what we've covered so far?" she asks. "Anything you'd like me to expound upon?"
(Scene was FTB'd at this point. Assume the lesson just continued.)
Players: Nari, Vanya
Location: Vanya's Room
Synopsis: Nari comes by one evening to begin learning the art of massage, since Br'ce wanted some of his riders to know the skill. Things get a bit complicated when Nari is asked what's wrong. (Scene FTB'd when Nari had to go IRL to take care of an injured hubby...)
Vanya's Room,
Early Evening
There isn't much a person can do to disguise the fact this room is little more than a cave. The walls are stone, smoothed by hand or by some long-forgotten or long-gone machine used by those who first built the weyr. The door is solid wood, sturdy, the fixtures utilitarian. The basic furniture is all there -- bed, table, two chairs, wall shelves and a wooden storage chest. Simple. As is the occupant, since there is little in the way of fancy knickknacks or personal possessions. The bed has plain sheets, two down-filled pillows, and a warm, woven blanket in dark green. The chest holds clothes, and more blankets as a bastion against the cold, High Reaches winter. A glow basket hangs from the wall over the bed, another sits on the table, glows replenished whenever needed by those unseen people who perform this task.
On a shelf above the table are a bottle of ink, writing instruments, sand and some already prepared hides. Very rare and precious paper documents are carefully arranged on another shelf, held down by a polished stone collected from some place. Yet another shelf holds vials and bottles of lotions, astringents, and other containers of herbs and oils. The only luxurious thing here, if it can be called that, is a hand-made rug that lies beside the bed on top of a thick layer of reeds. Stone floors are notoriously cold on bare feet. A black cloak hangs on a peg by the door, as does a gittern, the instrument carefully wrapped in a protective bag. A basket, leather satchel and two pairs of boots sit on the floor beneath.
There's open time in the evening, and since Vanya was interested in getting Nari at least started on the basics of massage and physical maintenance, she sent a note to the greenrider saying it was a good night to start. So, when the knock comes, Vanya has a good idea who it might be, and answers the door with a smile. "Nari, welcome," she says, standing to one side so the girl can enter. "C'mon in, and have a seat," she adds, gesturing to the chairs as she closes the door. "Since I don't have a practice dummy, I thought maybe we could go over the hides I have. There's juice, if you'd like something to drink."
There is a stiffness to her movement as the greenrider walks in. Nari offers a small, somewhat tense smile to Vanya. "Thank you." She takes a quick look around the room, eyes faintly hooded and still bearing some purple smudges underneath them. For once she's out of her riding leathers, but she is no less covered. A long sleeved blue tunic is fitted over dark leggings and her now-shoulder length hair hangs loose. Nari finds a spot and sits, somewhat gingerly.
It takes no special genius for Vanya to notice the stiffness, or how gingerly Nari sits. "You all right?" she inquires, moving to the other chair and studying the greenrider. "If there's anything I can do, just ask," she says, sitting. "Anyway, I have a few hides here with diagrams and information on specific muscle groups I think are most affected by dragonriding. I was hoping Br'ce might be free tonight, as well, because I wanted him to learn along with you and D'ven. But..." She shrugs, handing over three hides with excellent drawings of the human body on them, various muscles neatly labeled. "If you've questions, too, please feel free to ask."
There is a bit of a cough at the mention of Br'ce. Nari also can't hide the hint of a blush that brings color to her otherwise pale cheeks. "Zalmayth rose. Didn't quite make it to the bed." The words are spoken with the same inflection of someone asking after the weather. "I'm fine with just the hides. Trust me."
Vanya "ohs" and nods. Well, I've some liniment which will ease the aches and stiffness, if you'd like. It doesn't smell great, but it works." She picks up a hide herself, on which she's written some notes. "First off, the place I've noticed most riders seem to be most affected is the lower lumbar area, and the sides. I suppose that comes from the sideways twisting motion that goes with tossing sacks of firestone. Since the legs are spread at such a wide angle, there's not a lot of support while you're on dragonback."
Nari concentrates on Vanya's words, looking from the woman to her notes repeatedly. She's displaying her respect for the journeyman by paying rapt attention to the lesson. She nods unconsciously, "Yes, I can see what you mean."
"Good. That's the thing we want to watch for, especially in male riders. Women aren't affected as much, apparently, and I think that's because we have a lower center of gravity than men. We're built for child bearing, after all, which means when our legs spread wide like that, our bodies aren't as strained. Men have a higher center of gravity, mostly in their upper arms and chest area. So it puts more stress on their lower back." Her explanation is given with pointing to the figure on the hide. "That's my theory, at least, and I haven't found anything to dispute it, yet. I'm still doing research, so this is a project still in progress. L'ret has, at E'sere's urging, instigated a series of exercises I developed that have, according to him, really cut down on the aches after ground and air drills."
There is a hint of a flush again at the mention of child bearing, though Nari just nods, listening to the lecture. "I'm sure Br'ce would be interested in implementing any thing that reduces aches and pains."
"That's what I was told, at least, which is why he wants members of his wing to learn how to take care of one another, I'm guessing," Vanya agrees, nodding. "Bear in mind, some riders aren't going to tell you they hurt, which is something I run into often. It's important to let a healer know if there's any unusual pain after drills or fighting thread. Other than thread-score, I mean. And, by unusual, I mean something nagging, that just doesn't go away after a hot soaking."
There is a faintly guarded look in Nari's eyes though the rest of her expression seems open enough. "You can usually tell. But. Yes. There is a hesitancy to admit to hurt." Nari runs a hand through her hair, eyes hooded.
"And there's a danger in hiding that hurt," Vanya says, her voice concerned. "I know a lot of people, not just riders, who view admitting to pain as a sign of weakness. It's not." She sighs. "It's mostly prevalent in men, but I know a few women who don't want to say when something hurts, or wave it off. The problem there, is that it may come back to haunt them in the future. A simple muscle strain, if not tended to, may stop hurting after a while. That doesn't mean it's gone away, it only means the body has accepted the strain as being normal. It isn't, and turns down the road that old injury can come back. Only thing is, the body's used to the new condition, and compensates, but compensation only goes so far."
Nari continues to listen, nodding and paying close attention. She doesn't really seem to have much to add, appearing even more subdued than usual. Which for her... well. It explains the silence. She does appear however to be taking it all in.
Vanya doesn't say anything for a few minutes, studying the girl. "Nari, I know this is probably none of my business, but is there something wrong?" She sets her notes aside, and adds, "You don't know me very well, but I am a healer, and part of my job here is to listen if people need to talk. I don't judge, and what's said to me is confidential. I took an oath, and I don't break that oath. Anything that's said in this room, stays in this room. I give you my solemn oath on that." She doesn't press the issue, just leaves it there. The door is open, and the doctor is in. It's up to Nari to walk in.
Wetting her lips quickly Nari glances up and over to Vanya. "The last few days have been... difficult. Aida left Br'ce and it left him... he's in pain. We were in the middle of discussing it and things got... confusing. Which... was only compounded by the fact that Zalmayth chose that moment to rise. It's just..." The greenrider takes a breath, "..complicated."
Vanya listens and nods. "I had heard they broke up, yes," she says softly, her tone filled with compassion and sympathy. "Well, not the best timing in the world for her to rise," she comments. "I can't speak from any experience in that, of course, and can only go by what I've been told about flights. I wouldn't think anyone holds Zalmayth's rising as a reason to be upset with you, and you certainly shouldn't blame yourself for it, either." She takes a deep breath, reaching for a carafe of juice, pouring two glasses, offering one to Nari. "Complications seem to be a way of life around here, Nari," she says, smiling a little. "I understand you and Br'ce are old friends. Are you afraid this will affect the friendship negatively?"
Again there is a guarded air to Nari and she half-shrugs. "I think it already has." There is an attempt at a smile, though the expression seems to have no heart to it. "There was... It's..." She sighs and wets her lips again.
"Just relax, Nari," Vanya says, still in that soft, compassionate tone. "Tell me what you want to tell me, and I'll listen. It's important you put this into perspective. I understand it's difficult to talk about deeply personal things, but sometime a person not associated with a situation can offer insights that we, ourselves, cannot see because we're too close to it. I'm not the kind of healer who specializes in helping people with emotional probles, but I will listen. And I'll only offer advice if you ask me for it." She smiles at Nari, and indicates the redfruit juice. "Take your time, and start at the beginning, if you wish. I've the feeling this goes deeper than just bad timing."
Nari gets to her feet and goes to pour herself some juice. Staying on her feet she focuses on her glass. "While we were talking about his breakup, Br'ce had said something about wanting me..." She's going to chap her lips if she keeps licking them. Covering the nervous habit with a drink of juice there is a pause. "I'd told him I'd hold on as long as he wanted." She smiles then, her lips in a tight little line. "And he told me he didn't want me to ever let go." Nari looks up, still with that tight little smile. "And then when I asked him what he meant, he kissed me."
Again Vanya listens, nodding. "I'm sure the break up had him distressed, and he needed the comfort of someone he knew and trusted," she comments. "It's only natural he would turn to you, since you've known him for a good number of turns. At least that's the impression I got the first night you arrived." She takes a sip of her own juice, setting the glass down on the table. "Is it that you didn't want to let go of him that bothers you, Nari?" she asks, then pauses considering something. "Perhaps a better question is what you feel for Br'ce, the other night aside."
"He doesn't love me, Vanya." Nari replies with a snort. "He loves Aida. And I..." She shakes her head. "No. I don't love Br'ce. Not that way." Her brow furrows lightly. "He's my confidant. He knows all of my secrets, he knows... me. In a way that no one else does. He's..." There is a secret little smile there that might be more revealing than she may know or even recognize. "Br'ce." Another drink of juice is taken and she continues. "He was clinging to me because he was feeling lost. I know that. He might have been confused at first... but..." Nari shakes her head. "He doesn't want me like that."
"Are you sure of that?" Vanya questions. "It's possible he could be harboring feelings you didn't recognize as such. Sometimes stressful situations can bring out truths we either overlooked or missed. I'm not discounting what you're telling me, and you obviously know him far better than I do. Yet, what I'm seeing here is the fact that you're seem more troubled over this than simply feeling bad because your dragon rose unexpectedly at the wrong time." She purses her lips. "Again, I'm not an expert, and I could be seeing something that's not there. If Br'ce loves Aida -- and I don't doubt he does -- and you're not in love with Br'ce yourself, then why has this affected you so deeply. Br'ce turned to you when he was hurting, and you comforted him as his long-time, trusted friend. There is nothing wrong with that, although ... perhaps the sex confused the issue? Is this what you're saying?"
"It upset me because Br'ce has always been safe." Nari says with a little heat to her voice. "He's the one man I don't have to look at and worry about because he was /Br'ce/ and he wouldn't ever judge me in the way that men do." This may be the heart of the issue. "When he told me that he wanted something, implied that perhaps I've been as blind to him as D," SHe bites that off right quick, "..that I could have been blind to his feelings for turns..." Nari swallows, "I know it was his grief talking. It has to be. If it wasn't... then I... I have been hurting him for a very long time."
Vanya watches Nari for a long time. "Judge you in the way that men do?" she echoes, making it a question. "Forgive me, Nari, but how do you think men judge you?" Perhaps she's not an expert at this, but something in that statement hits close enough to home that Vanya cannot help but focus on it. "Better yet, how do you judge yourself?" she asks, her hand closing around the juice glass a little tightly. "Perhaps that would help me understand better what you're trying to convey here. Self-perception is very important, Nari, but all too often we see ourselves as what we /think/ is how others see us, not what we really are."
Arching a brow Nari looks over at Vanya with a clearly bitter expression. "Look at me Vanya. I'm..." She stops, laughing, "I've got a face like a sickly runner beast." The words have a twist to them, a strange inflection that conveys that they are perhaps not her own. "A body like a half-starved tunnel snake." The twist to her lips grows deeper. "The point is, Br'ce... Br'ce never made me feel like that mattered. You know? I have no idea why I'm talking about this." She lets out a mirthless laugh. "This is so ridiculous." She drains her glass.
Vanya does look at her, but shakes her head. "Nari -- no, you're --" She stops, swallowing. "It's not ridiculous, Nari. It's obviously something you feel strongly about, and that makes it important." She takes a deep breath, exhales slowly. "Not many of us are blessed with the kind of beauty some women possess, and it's very difficult to see ourselves other than as flawed for that reason, or others. Maybe I shouldn't be saying this, but till recently, I never saw myself as anything more than a piece of furniture that could walk and talk. I knew I wan't as beautiful as my cousins, and therefore, I wasn't worth anything. It took looking at myself through someone else's eyes to realize I /was/ worth something, and that just because I wasn't beautiful didn't mean I was worthless. Don't sell yourself short, Nari. Sometimes the best reflection of ourselves is through the eyes of a true friend." She pauses. "And being seen as someone trusted and loyal and caring is good."
Shaking her head Nari frowns, "I appreciate that Vanya. But that isn't the underlying issue." She lifts a hand to drag it through her hair. "And the issue is so not why I'm here. I'm here to learn." Nari reminds gently. "I should do that." There is the metaphorical clang as her walls clank into place once more.
Vanya accepts this, and nods. "And I'll teach," she says quietly. "Just don't sell yourself short, is all I'm saying." She picks up the hide with her notes, scanning over them, allowing the girl to retain her protective walls. "Do you have any questions about what we've covered so far?" she asks. "Anything you'd like me to expound upon?"
(Scene was FTB'd at this point. Assume the lesson just continued.)