only when we eat this planet up will god give us a new one--
we'll be remembered more for what we destroyed than what we created.
sometimes i read a book and i so badly want to be a character in the story. not because they're interesting, or entertaining, or pretty, or, god forbid, happy, but because they're at least two dementional. and it can be a really fucked up story and i'll still want to be in that story, because they have complexities and i so badly want to be around people like that. because at least their pain doesn't all come from one tangible peice of shit. at least they can waste time having their lives be worth books even though they're drowning in their suffering. because at least they have something to show for it.
i feel like i'm falling inlove with someone i hardly even like. i think i know there's no real truth to that, since first off, i don't fall in love, and secondly i like him alot. when shit things come along and i'm unhappy i find people who i'd never go out with to become utterly smitten with, maybe it's my way of taking my mind off a shitty thing and using someone i know physically to become my ideal person to help me out of my situation, anyways, it does a load of shit because i eventually just get completely sick of being human. well, no matter how you cut it, this guy who has no feelings for me is absolutely sending my stoumach in a flurry. and to think, a little while ago i had a boyfriend who was totally into me and i just didn't want to make it work.
my heart's really in bad shape right now.
i feel like i'm falling apart. it's too much goddamn work to be human. i feel like smashing glass and rolling around in it. i feel like jumping off a building. i feel like breaking my leg and arm simultaneously. i feel like stabbing myself over and over until i'm unconscious. i'm sick of one dementional pain, and i don't have the capacity of two dementional pain, so maybe three dementional pain would be the only thing that works.
i don't even really know what i'm talking about. all i know is that this has been the most painful week of my entire life, and i wish so badly for everything to get better.
i fucking said it. i wanted to move to austrailia. i wanted to change schools. i wanted to go somewhere far away. i was bored. it was time to start over. i guess i didn't think soon enough.
sometimes i read a book and i so badly want to be a character in the story. not because they're interesting, or entertaining, or pretty, or, god forbid, happy, but because they're at least two dementional. and it can be a really fucked up story and i'll still want to be in that story, because they have complexities and i so badly want to be around people like that. because at least their pain doesn't all come from one tangible peice of shit. at least they can waste time having their lives be worth books even though they're drowning in their suffering. because at least they have something to show for it.
i feel like i'm falling inlove with someone i hardly even like. i think i know there's no real truth to that, since first off, i don't fall in love, and secondly i like him alot. when shit things come along and i'm unhappy i find people who i'd never go out with to become utterly smitten with, maybe it's my way of taking my mind off a shitty thing and using someone i know physically to become my ideal person to help me out of my situation, anyways, it does a load of shit because i eventually just get completely sick of being human. well, no matter how you cut it, this guy who has no feelings for me is absolutely sending my stoumach in a flurry. and to think, a little while ago i had a boyfriend who was totally into me and i just didn't want to make it work.
my heart's really in bad shape right now.
i feel like i'm falling apart. it's too much goddamn work to be human. i feel like smashing glass and rolling around in it. i feel like jumping off a building. i feel like breaking my leg and arm simultaneously. i feel like stabbing myself over and over until i'm unconscious. i'm sick of one dementional pain, and i don't have the capacity of two dementional pain, so maybe three dementional pain would be the only thing that works.
i don't even really know what i'm talking about. all i know is that this has been the most painful week of my entire life, and i wish so badly for everything to get better.
i fucking said it. i wanted to move to austrailia. i wanted to change schools. i wanted to go somewhere far away. i was bored. it was time to start over. i guess i didn't think soon enough.