and yet.
i'm changing.
something i didn't think i could ever find within myself, i've found (and how). It's amazing how at peace you can be after going through such a storm.... i'm happy. i did what was right by me....
I met the challenge that arose this weekend. Funny, when you’re least expecting things, life has a way of throwing them at you. I didn’t necessarily handle it the best way that I could, I let anger get the best of me towards the end. (I still can’t handle basic rudeness) Nevertheless, I was fine. I was afraid that I’d be sad, but any emotion I’ve had for him has long since died. It’s refreshing to see that I was finally able to let go.
It lit a fire under my ass as well. I’d started to coast, to get comfortable in my day to day life, doing what I had to, nothing more. Laziness is never a good thing. But seeing him reminded me of how much potential I have and what a waste it would be if I spent this opportunity just coasting. I’m so excited about work now, I’m hoping I’ll get invited to sit in on one of the meetings with the record execs in LA before the end of the year. Maybe I’m not the top of the class, but what I do have going for me, I shouldn’t waste, it’s time to take advantage of the ‘cute’, lol. Moving to Cali has been in the back of my mind for awhile, it’s not where I want to live forever but it’s something I want to take the time to do before I get settled down. There’s something to be said for being completely unattached. I still want to move back to Texas, live on my ranch & play with ponies all day; but I think my goals will best be served by getting my butt out there, hustling to make money while I’m young and have the drive, then sitting back and working just enough to keep things on easy street.
When I look back: what amazes me the most is that he’s the exact same person I met that December so many months ago. The attitude, the social skills/tact, the behavior - it’s all the same. Being around that for so long, held me back as well. I’m struggling to deal with growing up that I should have done at college, lessons some of my friends learned long ago, I’m just beginning to see. It’s an interesting place to be, I’m sad that someone I once called my best friend has so many issues but there’s a freedom in learning that those issues don’t have to be mine.
something i didn't think i could ever find within myself, i've found (and how). It's amazing how at peace you can be after going through such a storm.... i'm happy. i did what was right by me....
I met the challenge that arose this weekend. Funny, when you’re least expecting things, life has a way of throwing them at you. I didn’t necessarily handle it the best way that I could, I let anger get the best of me towards the end. (I still can’t handle basic rudeness) Nevertheless, I was fine. I was afraid that I’d be sad, but any emotion I’ve had for him has long since died. It’s refreshing to see that I was finally able to let go.
It lit a fire under my ass as well. I’d started to coast, to get comfortable in my day to day life, doing what I had to, nothing more. Laziness is never a good thing. But seeing him reminded me of how much potential I have and what a waste it would be if I spent this opportunity just coasting. I’m so excited about work now, I’m hoping I’ll get invited to sit in on one of the meetings with the record execs in LA before the end of the year. Maybe I’m not the top of the class, but what I do have going for me, I shouldn’t waste, it’s time to take advantage of the ‘cute’, lol. Moving to Cali has been in the back of my mind for awhile, it’s not where I want to live forever but it’s something I want to take the time to do before I get settled down. There’s something to be said for being completely unattached. I still want to move back to Texas, live on my ranch & play with ponies all day; but I think my goals will best be served by getting my butt out there, hustling to make money while I’m young and have the drive, then sitting back and working just enough to keep things on easy street.
When I look back: what amazes me the most is that he’s the exact same person I met that December so many months ago. The attitude, the social skills/tact, the behavior - it’s all the same. Being around that for so long, held me back as well. I’m struggling to deal with growing up that I should have done at college, lessons some of my friends learned long ago, I’m just beginning to see. It’s an interesting place to be, I’m sad that someone I once called my best friend has so many issues but there’s a freedom in learning that those issues don’t have to be mine.