i NEED patience please
Well,
I finished this semester with 5 A's and 1 B, i was very happy. And honestly, i dont remember if i posted this already or not. oh well!. That week, i got sick and my dad had a heart attack and staff infection. It was a struggle to keep focused, but God pulled me through it.
(i sound so dramatic)
but we get about 6 weeks off, i am sooo thankful! it has been an amazing break so far, and i just started my 2 week break off of work! weee! what an awesome pastor and boss!
Life has been ok, the best part has been me getting presents for people, i love getting them stuff! it makes me happy!!!!! thats really the only thing making me happy at the moment really. i know, that really sucks.
I just havent been happy with myself, lately. Tonight, i am kinda sad. A friend of mine got engaged the other night, and i just watched the video, it was soo sweet. It always makes me teary when i see someone in love! It makes me sad because i dont have that yet. It is just kinda heart, because i long for someone to hold my hand, and laugf with, and all that jazz. Because i know what it feels like to feel it over a year. :( even though that relationship really sucked, i was happy in some moments, and it truly is amazing feeling. and now, i want it again. yea, its normal and everything, i know.
im trying to just suck it up you know, because i know he will come soon, if God desires. its just hard, really hard. I think also, its like, this guy texts me every now and then, and he is really cute and godly and stuff, and i push myself not to text him in anyway, because i dont want to think that i like him or iniate anything. even though, i want to soo bad, i want to at least talk to him, but i know i shouldnt. because thats not me liking him, thats just me wanting to like him and not feel lonely, and i know thats not right, so i have to stop myself.
so, today, i want and need patience. whatever it takes, i want it. i dont want to long any more, i just want to long for God. and sometimes, i dont even long for Him, and i feel bad because deep down, i know He is the only one that can really make me happy. but my flesh defeats me a lot and doesnt bother. but i know my spirit wants more...
i know, there is a lot on my mind, but there always is. always thinking about my future husband, but always thinking about God too and knowing He will give me what i need at the right time. He knows my heart. God please keep me patient through grace.
on the brighter side, there is a lunar eclipse tonight, supposedly it hasnt happened since the 1600's. im going to stay up until it ends, which is about 230am. it is now 12:30am..
yup, its going to be a fun night.
Facebook and twitter are REALLY popular. like wow. i wonder how long they will dominate before something better comes out.
tata for now,
Rachel
I finished this semester with 5 A's and 1 B, i was very happy. And honestly, i dont remember if i posted this already or not. oh well!. That week, i got sick and my dad had a heart attack and staff infection. It was a struggle to keep focused, but God pulled me through it.
(i sound so dramatic)
but we get about 6 weeks off, i am sooo thankful! it has been an amazing break so far, and i just started my 2 week break off of work! weee! what an awesome pastor and boss!
Life has been ok, the best part has been me getting presents for people, i love getting them stuff! it makes me happy!!!!! thats really the only thing making me happy at the moment really. i know, that really sucks.
I just havent been happy with myself, lately. Tonight, i am kinda sad. A friend of mine got engaged the other night, and i just watched the video, it was soo sweet. It always makes me teary when i see someone in love! It makes me sad because i dont have that yet. It is just kinda heart, because i long for someone to hold my hand, and laugf with, and all that jazz. Because i know what it feels like to feel it over a year. :( even though that relationship really sucked, i was happy in some moments, and it truly is amazing feeling. and now, i want it again. yea, its normal and everything, i know.
im trying to just suck it up you know, because i know he will come soon, if God desires. its just hard, really hard. I think also, its like, this guy texts me every now and then, and he is really cute and godly and stuff, and i push myself not to text him in anyway, because i dont want to think that i like him or iniate anything. even though, i want to soo bad, i want to at least talk to him, but i know i shouldnt. because thats not me liking him, thats just me wanting to like him and not feel lonely, and i know thats not right, so i have to stop myself.
so, today, i want and need patience. whatever it takes, i want it. i dont want to long any more, i just want to long for God. and sometimes, i dont even long for Him, and i feel bad because deep down, i know He is the only one that can really make me happy. but my flesh defeats me a lot and doesnt bother. but i know my spirit wants more...
i know, there is a lot on my mind, but there always is. always thinking about my future husband, but always thinking about God too and knowing He will give me what i need at the right time. He knows my heart. God please keep me patient through grace.
on the brighter side, there is a lunar eclipse tonight, supposedly it hasnt happened since the 1600's. im going to stay up until it ends, which is about 230am. it is now 12:30am..
yup, its going to be a fun night.
Facebook and twitter are REALLY popular. like wow. i wonder how long they will dominate before something better comes out.
tata for now,
Rachel