Where to begin?
Things are good.
No.
Things are great.
But to an extent.
Of course there are those road blocks that make me sad and depressed and confuse the shit out of me, but I think what I have right now, I can live with if it doesn't change.
But things are bound to change, that's what I'm afraid of.
I wish I knew what everything was for.
I wish I knew why everything is happening the way it is.
But I'm not complaining.
Now I have things to look forward to.
Minor plans for the future.
Sure, they could just have been said for humor, but I'd like to think that one day they'll come true.
We'll have to see.
There's just that one road block, the one that keeps popping up out of nowhere to punch me in the face.
To pull me back to the ground and face reality.
I've been reassured... but it could be a lie to make me feel better.
It's not working.
Too many things are coming back from the past.
Too many bad memories.
I don’t really ever believe anyone when they tell me good things.
I’ve always been told otherwise.
I think myself low, and unworthy.
I can’t fret over this.
I need to be happy if anything ever happens.
It’s what everyone wants.
It’s what I want to happen, but with me.
I think I’m just someone that is there.
Not really anything at all.
Decoration, if you will.
For now, I will try to hide the truth.
But one day my feelings may be expressed.
Let’s just hope I don’t fuck things up again.
No.
Things are great.
But to an extent.
Of course there are those road blocks that make me sad and depressed and confuse the shit out of me, but I think what I have right now, I can live with if it doesn't change.
But things are bound to change, that's what I'm afraid of.
I wish I knew what everything was for.
I wish I knew why everything is happening the way it is.
But I'm not complaining.
Now I have things to look forward to.
Minor plans for the future.
Sure, they could just have been said for humor, but I'd like to think that one day they'll come true.
We'll have to see.
There's just that one road block, the one that keeps popping up out of nowhere to punch me in the face.
To pull me back to the ground and face reality.
I've been reassured... but it could be a lie to make me feel better.
It's not working.
Too many things are coming back from the past.
Too many bad memories.
I don’t really ever believe anyone when they tell me good things.
I’ve always been told otherwise.
I think myself low, and unworthy.
I can’t fret over this.
I need to be happy if anything ever happens.
It’s what everyone wants.
It’s what I want to happen, but with me.
I think I’m just someone that is there.
Not really anything at all.
Decoration, if you will.
For now, I will try to hide the truth.
But one day my feelings may be expressed.
Let’s just hope I don’t fuck things up again.