(no subject)
we clash alot, my brother and i. he's really changed though. gosh, i remember how we used to fight, usually ending in me slamming my bedroom door, flopping myself on my bed and crying. yeah, i cry when i'm mad. needless to say, that doesn't happen anymore. we still clash, but usually just go our seperate ways when that happens. i don't think he knows just how much he means to me. today he asked if i wanted to go to blockbuster with him. & he also suggested i burn him a copy of 'the postal service', naturally, i was beaming when he requested i do this for him because he's always giving me a pile of cds that he thinks i'll like. he usually snickers at what i listen to, so for him to actually want my music, wow. so we go to blockbuster. his car is so fun, it rides so smooth and fast & he has a really amazing stereo system. i popped in the postal service & i could feel the bass in my chest. he tossed me the remote, haha, not like you had to reach far to manually adjust the stereo... but it was neat. he promised to install a hott stereo system in the car i get. [ which is a whole other pain staking story.. ] anywya, i rented the majestic. i really love that movie.
it kinda makes me sad, how distant my brothers and i are. like i totally missed out on the first 20 years of their lives, although it's not my fault. i'm so much younger, and a girl, and very different than they are, so it's understandable that we're not ultra-close. but still, i feel like i missed out. i wish i had siblings i could really talk to...
anyway, jamie brought up about how he's gonna take me to a concert when i find one i wanna go to. he suggested the postal service. or jimmy eat world. :)
i guess i should feel honored, he actually wants to spend time with me. i guess the reason i feel like i missed out is because yes, they are my brothers, but do i really know them? this part of my life is so confusing... i have so many mixed emotions. family. oy vey.
goodnight<3