Remembrance - Chapter 20
Title: Remembrance
Author: imaginarybulb
Pairing(s): Kyuhyun/Donghae, Kyuhyun/ZhouMi, Kyuhyun/Sungmin (yes, Kyuhyun is loved by three men >.<), Chaerin/Hyukjae, more pairings will be revealed in upcoming chapters
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Summary:
I love you,
Even if the world is shaking,
Even if the sky is falling,
Even if the ground is breaking,
Even if I was left alone,
Even if you leave,
Even if he’s there,
Even if that beautiful smile isn’t mine anymore
-No more pain goodbye, goodbye-
“I know, with all that’s happening right now-with Donghae, with Kyuhyun and-and a lot of things…I know it doesn’t seem appropriate but….Lee Chaerin, will you marry me?”
Chaerin looks up from the pavement to Hyukjae’s back and let out a sigh. The older man had been silent all the way from the hospital to their house but Chaerin knows all hell will break loose once they step into the mansion.
Hyukjae stopped when they were inside and Chaerin hold her breathe when the older one turned around. It wasn’t anger on his face, more like disappointment and hurt-either way, it’s way worst than anger.
“You’re tired?” Hyukjae asked, but not in concern.
Chaerin looked away and Hyukjae continued, “Because I’m tired you know? I mean, look at us, getting into stupid fights just because you don’t listen to me. Why would you do that?”
“Do what?” Chaerin asked, lifeless.
“This. Everything.” Hyukjae huffed, the anger in him slowly raising, “Why would you help someone who caused you to be in misery for three long years!?”
Chaerin didn’t flinch at the rise in Hyukjae’s voice, nor did she react. She just stared blankly at the floor before asking, “Do you know how long I’ve been friends with Donghae oppa?”
Hyukjae said nothing and Chaerin looked into her husband’s eyes, “19 years. And you expect me to throw away our 19 years of friendship? Donghae oppa needs help and I’m just doing what I’m supposed to do as a friend!”
The look on Hyukjae’s face doesn’t change. And truthfully, Chaerin was a bit taken aback. Hyukjae had been friends with Donghae since they were younger-he’s supposed to be able to tolerate. However the older male only to heave a breath, “So if ask you to choose between me and Donghae, who would you choose?”
Chaerin was at the verge of tears, “Isn’t that unfair!? You’re telling me to choose between my 19 years of friendship and my husband!”
“You’re not answering my question, Chae.”
“Oppa,” Chaerin called out desperately. But Hyukjae didn’t waver. Not even the slightest. Chaerin realized he was dead serious about her choosing. She can’t choose, not in this kind of situation. She had known Donghae since forever-he was basically her first friend. But Hyukjae…Hyukjae is her husband, the man she married, the father of her unborn child. The man she’s going to spend the rest of her life with. But most importantly, Hyukjae is by her side through thick and thin.
But…
“Kyuhyun…Kyuhyun why did you leave me-why Kyuhyun, WHY!?”
“….I need to help Donghae oppa,” Chaerin said softly, her own words lacerating her heart, her insides violently trashing and screaming, no, no, no, I love you Hyukjae-I love-
“Fine then.” Chaerin’s head snapped up when Hyukjae walks passed her without a glance.
“It was my fault!!” she yelled out, her hands gripping by her sides, the tears dripping down like raindrops, “I was the one who gave the plane ticket to Kyuhyun oppa! I-If I didn’t-” she wheezed, her shoulders shaking, “-then Sungmin oppa won’t-”
Hyukjae looks back at his sobbing wife, his heartstring tugged at the sight, “I-I just want to fix everything…”
“She was very lucky. In normal circumstances, that amount of stress can cause miscarriage. But I bet she won’t get a second chance. Please take care of her.”
Hyukjae let out a tired sigh and turned back to the door, “I need some times alone.”
“O-Oppa,” Chaerin quickly grabbed his arm, stopping the older one.
Hyukjae looks at Chaerin and there’s residue of tears on her face. She was still sobbing softly and she was looking at him pleadingly. As much as Hyukjae wants to cup her face and wipe her tears and kiss her sadness away, he needs to stand on his ground, for Chaerin and their baby.
“I love you Chaerin-ah,” he brushed off Chaerin’s grip gently, “And I want to protect you. But if you’re going to put yourself in a dangerous situation…my hands are tied. There’s nothing I can do.”
“Oppa…”
Hyukjae stroked her hair and kissed her forehead, “Just get some rest,” before leaving the mansion. Leaving her.
Yes, Donghae is his best friend. His best bro. ‘Bros for life’ as they promised when they’re that young and stupid school boys.
But that’s the problem. They’re not that young and stupid school boys. They’re grown adults. And as a grown adult, Hyukjae knows he has responsibilities and that is Chaerin and their baby. He promised that he’ll take care of her, that when they’re married, Chaerin will always be first.
“Chaerin!!” Donghae called out as he, Hyukjae and Kyuhyun burst into the room, their breath came out in labor. Heechul was the one to greet them, with a grieve look on his face.
“Wh-What happened,” Donghae asked, still catching his breath, “I-Is Chaerin okay?”
Heechul said nothing, only turning his head to the girl in topic. Chaerin was sitting on the hospital bed, her legs dangling above the waxed floor and suddenly, for a thirteen years old girl, Hyukjae thinks Chaerin looks incredibly small, incredibly fragile. He went to Chaerin and stood in front of the younger one. Chaerin doesn’t seem to notice his presence or maybe all her energy and feelings had died along in the fire and Hyukjae was scared.
Silently, he cupped Chaerin’s face and gently make her looked up to his face. She was hurt. Physically. Her head are bandaged, covering her left eye. There are cuts and bruises and wounds on her face and along her arms and legs.
There are cuts and bruises and wounds on her soul and Hyukjae felt his insides died a little bit.
“Chaerin-ah…” he called out softly and maybe his voice had some sort of effect on Chaerin because there’s a spark of life in her eye, just barely and she voiced out.
“…They’re gone…”
Without another word, Hyukjae pulled her into a suffocating hug, his own tears fell for Chaerin. Kyuhyun was crying silently, probably having Donghae calming him down. But Chaerin didn’t say a word, didn’t drop a single tear, didn’t even ask where her brother is.
That day, Lee Chaerin’s soul died in a fire and Lee Hyukjae promised to bring that soul back to life.
--
“The doctor told me you have to start taking a rest. For your health.”
Sungmin stopped buttoning his dress shirt for a short millisecond to glance at Ryeowook before continuing, “Doctors are always like that. Overly paranoid for something. I am fine, Ryeowook.”
“But sir-”
Sungmin returned his glance to Ryeowook, except it’s colder and more cunning and Ryeowook shuts his lips but still appeared calm, “I am fine, Ryeowook.”
The Lee heir grabbed his tie and put it around his neck, “Have you done what I ordered you to do, Ryeowook?”
Ryeowook heave a sigh, “Yes, sir. He should be here by evening or tonight.”
A smirk tugged on Sungmin’s lips, “Good.”
--
“Are you sure you’ll be okay alone?”
Dongwoon turned his head to smile at Hyunseung over his back, “Yeah. I’ll be fine, hyung. Thank you for sending me here.”
Hyunseung bit his bottom lip, still contemplating. He let his eyes wander to the magnificent mansion in front of them. It’s almost as extravagant as Changmin’s and Hyunseung wonders what is the connection between Dongwoon and the owner of the mansion.
“I’m going, hyung,” Dongwoon announced, breaking him off his trance, “You should get going too.”
Hyunseung stared at Dongwoon; he really doesn’t feel like letting Dongwoon go yet. He wasn’t sure when he’ll meet the young doctor again. But he has no right to stop Dongwoon, he sighed silently and nodded. Bidding him a reluctant goodbye, he gets in the car, driving off before his subconscious changes his mind.
Dongwoon absentmindedly stare at the disappearing car before he looked away with a heavy heart. His eyes darted back to the mansion and the heaviness in his heart just multiplied. He swallowed thickly, hurriedly gather himself and forced his legs to take him to the door. He raised shaky hand slowly, took a deep breath and knocked on the door twice. He had called Zhou Mi earlier, informing his arrival so it doesn’t surprise him to have the older one opening the door in a mere second.
“Dongyun?” Zhou Mi called out but Dongwoon said nothing in reply. The café owner frowned slightly at the lack of greeting from Dongwoon but wordlessly helped the younger one inside. Victoria and Henry swarmed them like bees, asking why Dongwoon was there and yet, no words come out from Dongwoon.
“Dongwoon?” Auntie Yuki called out and this time, Dongwoon looked up at hearing his Korean name. He was never good in hiding his feelings and thoughts from Auntie Yuki, that’s why with one look, the older female just nodded in understanding.
“Mi,” she looked at Zhou Mi, “Why don’t you take Dongyun upstairs? He must be tired from the flight.”
Zhou Mi gave her a confused look before understanding dawn on him. He lead Dongwoon upstairs, to his room, sending subtle eye signal to Hangeng to follow them. Hangeng caught it, silently following the pair upstairs.
After they settled down in Dongwoon’s room, Zhou Mi sat beside the young doctor, “Hey, what’s wrong? I thought you hated coming back to Korea?”
There was silence before Dongwoon broke out, tears rolling down his cheeks, “I-I was kidnapped…”
Zhou Mi and Hangeng’s eyes widened, “What?”
Dongwoon looked at Zhou Mi, “T-The people who took Kuixian gege…They took me too.”
“‘They?’ But the private investigator told me the kidnapper is one guy.”
Dongwoon shook his head vigorously, “No… He didn’t really take Kuixian gege… H-He paid a few people to do it for him.”
“And they took you too?” Dongwoon nodded, “But why?”
At this, Dongwoon cried harder, choked sobs escaped his chapped lips as he looked at Zhou Mi ruefully, “I-I’m so sorry-I had to-I was so scared-I’m so sorry-”
“Dongyun? Wha-”
“I-I had to tell them-I’m so sorry gege-I-I just…” realization slowly dawns on Zhou Mi when he finally comprehends what Dongwoon was trying to tell him. He was rendered speechless as Dongwoon spilled out his apologies and reasons like a flowing water, “I-I need to tell them g-ge-T-They said h-he-he has someone w-waiting for him-I just-I feel so-so wrong-I’m so sorry-”
Dongwoon covered his face and sobbed into his palms and Hangeng rushed to his side to calm him down. He looked worriedly at Zhou Mi, “Mi… What do you want to do now? You’ve been hiding this for too long.”
Zhou Mi looked at Hangeng then to the sobbing Dongwoon. Guilt hits him-Dongwoon carried a heavy dirt of secret on his shoulders and he was guilty for forcing him into it. He sighed heavily, tiredly, wishing all his burdens and guilt will disappear like the air but he knows better. Standing up, Zhou Mi patted Dongwoon’s head before leaving the two baffled males.
“You asked me what can you do to repay my kindness, right? This is it, Dongyun. I’m just asking for this one and only favor.”
Zhou Mi stepped down the stairs slowly, seeing Victoria and Henry looking up at him, “Is Dongyun okay?” He said nothing, sending a look to Auntie Yuki before averting his gaze to Victoria and Henry when Auntie Yuki exhaled silently with a nod.
“There’s something I want to tell you.”
Victoria and Henry raised their brows and Zhou Mi exhaled, feeling the burden and guilt dissipate into the air with his words,
“It’s about Kuixian’s accident three years ago.”
--
“Yeah, I’ll get to you later,” Yunho ended the call with hurried footsteps and grabbed his jacket on his shoulder before putting it on as he ordered Yoochun to get the car ready. It was then Junhyung stopped him, saying that Donghae was here to see him.
“Donghae?” he raised his brows at the unexpected guess, “What brings you here?”
“I need to speak to you about something.”
“Is it important? Or can it wait? Because I’m kinda in a hurry. I just found a lead about Zhou Mi and if we-”
"That's..." Donghae cuts him off, “what I want to talk about.”
Yunho gave him a confused look and Donghae sighed softly, “I want you to stop searching.”
“What?”
“Everything, I want you stop. It's already ended.”
“I don't...” Yunho was taken aback, “What do you mean ended?”
It was then Yunho got a proper look on Donghae and he had an apologetic look on his face, “I was wrong. I've been so selfish and I’ve hurt everyone around me. Including Kyuhyun. I just...I just want everything to end.”
“Wh-so you're gonna let that guy go!? After what he did!? Donghae, we can get this guy. Just wait for me to get more evidence so we can press charges and you can get Kyu-”
“I don't what that!” Yunho was rendered speechless at Donghae's sudden outburst, “I don't want to press charges okay!? I don't want to do anything! I just...” he exhaled shakily, “I just want everyone to be safe and happy...including Kyuhyun.”
“That's why...I want you to stop Yunho. Just forget everything. Let this go.”
“Donghae…” Yunho called out softly but made no further objections. He knows how madly in love Donghae is with Kyuhyun and judging from the pained look on his face, Yunho knows it takes Donghae every strength of his soul to do this.
“...Okay then,” he said finally, “I’ll tell them to stop.”
Donghae bit his bottom lip and Yunho wondered if the tears in Donghae's eyes were because he was touched with Yunho's willingness or a sign how inside he was drowning in anguish.
Either way, Yunho admires his strength to pull himself together.
“Thanks,” Donghae manages with a forced smile, “I'll wire you the money.”
With short nod from Yunho, Donghae left.
--
“Everything. I want you to stop, it's already ended.”
Changmin rushed back to his car when he saw Donghae walking towards the door. He just got back from his office to fetch some documents when he saw Donghae entered the Shim household. He didn't mean to eavesdrop to the two's conversation, but Donghae's words made him stop on his feet.
What does Donghae hyung means by that? he thought as he lowered himself on the seat when Donghae walks passed his vehicle. Worried teeth gnawing his bottom lip, uneasiness settles in the pit of his stomach. He doesn't like the hidden meaning behind Donghae's words.
What happened? he raised his head to see Donghae's car leaving the property. Letting out a silent sigh, he sat properly, still pondering about Donghae.
Maybe Chaerin knows, he concluded before starting his engine and drive away.
--
Chaerin massaged her temple tiredly when she senses a headache. She decided not to go to the office today and finish her works at home because of what happened between her and Hyukjae and also she was advised to stay home for a few days. She rubbed her belly, a small smile tugged on her lips at the thought of bearing her child.
She was broke off the trance when her phone rang, “Hello?” she answered without looking at the caller's ID, already expecting it's Dara regarding the reports she requested.
“Chaerin-ssi,” she stopped when Changmin's voice greeted her instead.
“What do you want?” her tone was hostile and her body went rigid.
“I have something to tell you. I'm outside your house. Please, it's important,” Changmin pleaded and Chaerin bit her bottom lip, pondering on her next actions before sighing.
“Fine.”
Don't stress yourself, she whispers to herself as she stood up and leaves her home office. She used to welcome Changmin's visits with joy, especially when he came with Kyuhyun but after what happened she just can't bear looking at Changmin.
When she opened the door, she felt her heart breaking a little to see her used to be best friend standing there looking consumed by guilt.
“What is it?” she asked curtly, trying to sound indifferent.
Changmin's look dropped a little before he recovered, “It's about Donghae hyung.”
Chaerin perks up at the older one's name, “Donghae oppa? What's wrong? What happened to him?”
“He-he came earlier, to Yunho hyung and-and he told Yunho hyung to stop searching on Zhou Mi and Zhou Kuixian.”
“What?”
“He-he said something about everything had ended-I thought you may know something about it.”
"I want you to stop seeing Donghae. If you care about the baby, please, Chaerin, do as I said."
“I need your help, Chaerin,” Changmin grabbed her hands, “You're the only who can help Donghae hyung and-and Kyuhyun.” Chaerin was taken aback at Changmin's glassy eyes, “Please…Help them...Kyuhyun...”
“What are you doing?”
Chaerin and Changmin's head snapped towards Hyukjae’s angry voice. The older one's eyes grew darker at seeing Changmin holding Chaerin's hands and he lunged towards the Shim heir. He grabbed his collar and jerked him away from her, before punching him squarely on the jaw.
“Oppa!!” Chaerin gasped.
“I thought I warned you two to stay away from Chaerin!? How dare you show your face here and touch her with your filthy hands!”
Changmin stayed frozen on the ground as Chaerin grabbed he angry Hyukjae’s arm, “All this time, I’ve been so fucking nice to you because I think about our friendship and the friendship between you and Kyuhyun and Chaerin but no, you just have to hurt her don't you?”
“I was wrong, you're just like your father! Murderer!”
“I fucking trust you."
Changmin cried through the heavy rain as he gripped Yunho's shirt tightly. The older male was bleeding badly from Donghae's angry punches and kicks but his arms are still strong enough to hold Changmin in his embrace, shielding him from Donghae's wrath.
“You two are supposed to be her friends!! How can you possibly-” Donghae clenched his teeth, too angry to say out their faults. There are pure rage in Donghae's eyes, and utter disappointment and a hint of disgust. But for Changmin that's better than how Chaerin didn't even want to look or talk to them.
“Changmin did nothing wrong,” Yunho countered defiantly, “He didn't know his father would-”
“But you do, don’t you!?” Donghae angry words stopped Yunho, “You’ve known all along, even before the accident. And Changmin knew before we do. You two knew it before hand and yet you played us like a fool. You laughed and joked around with her as if nothing wrong when your father-”
Changmin cried harder into Yunho’s arms.
“….your father orchestrated the whole accident. He killed Chaerin’s parents and almost killed her and you got the fucking nerve to show your face in front of her.” Donghae finished with a trembled tone, his whole body shaking with anger. Kyuhyun was standing behind him and when Changmin tries to plead with his eyes, the other one kept his eyes glued to the ground, his own feelings conflicted; part of him want to help Changmin but the other part just couldn’t look at the Shim heir.
“Go,” Donghae said, voice dangerously low, “Just get the fuck out off my sight and don’t show your face in front of me or Chaerin again.”
“Just stay away from us, Changmin,” Hyukjae said, a hint of plea in his voice, “I just want to protect my family, okay? I don’t want them to get hurt.”
Changmin said nothing for a moment before he looked up to Hyukjae and then to the crying Chaerin. His own tears fell at the sight of the younger one, “If this is about my father, then I’m sorry.”
“I’m so sorry, Chaerin. I really am. If-If I knew it earlier, I swear, I would do everything in my power to stop him. But-” He choked on his tears, surprising both Hyukjae and Chaerin, “I found out about it after the accident so-I-I swear everything I said to you before that, I meant it. Every ‘I’m here for you’ and Be strong’, I really, really meant it.”
“If you want to hate me for the rest of your life for this, then go ahead. I won’t say anything but…but Donghae hyung…he needs us…he needs your help. He and Kyuhyun….They deserve to be happy. D-Don’t you want the same thing for them?”
“Even if y-you want to hate me so much you want to kill me…just please, help Donghae hyung and Kyuhyun.”
--
“This is Zhou Mi’s current number… I just…I thought maybe you want to talk to him.”
Donghae stared at the piece of paper in his hand, Yunho’s handwriting scribbling a set of numbers on it. He dialed the number before hesitantly pressed the call button, his own heart beating rapidly in nervousness as he waits with the dull calling tone.
The tone stopped and Donghae froze as an unfamiliar deep voice greeting him in Chinese, “Hello?”
He swallowed, “H-Hello?” his voice came out shakily.
There’s a pause, probably the other one was pondering on the Korean greeting. Before he could correct himself, Zhou Mi cuts him off in Korean, “Hello? Who’s this?”
Donghae almost sighed in relieve, he can speaks Korean…at least Kyuhyun will feel close to home, “Is this Zhou Mi-ssi?”
“Yes, I am,” Zhou Mi frowned slightly, “Who am I speaking to?”
“My name…” Donghae licked his dry lips, “…My name is Lee Donghae.”
“Lee Donghae?”
“….I…I’m…” he heaved a sigh, “I’m the man who took your fiancé.”
Zhou Mi shot up from his couch in instant, his eyes widened in shock, “Wh-What-You-Kuixian-Where is Kuixian!? What have you done to him!?”
“I’ve done nothing to hurt him,” Donghae sounds tad a bit offended but Zhou Mi didn’t notice as his attention was all on Zhou Mi. That made Donghae feels relieved too, at least he cares about Kyuhyun a lot.
“Where is he!?” Zhou Mi demanded, “Please-Please let me speak to him!”
“He’s not here with me right now,” Donghae said and when Zhou Mi was about to attack him verbally, he cuts him off, “But I swear, he’s fine.”
“How can I be sure!? How can I know you didn’t hurt him!?”
“Because he’s my Kyuhyun.”
“Wh-”
“I know, Zhou Mi-ssi. What happened three years ago, I know everything,” Donghae confessed calmly, a stark contrast to Zhou Mi’s paled face and his sputter of words.
“Wh-What do you mean? What-What did you know!?”
“The accident three years ago-Zhou Kuixian’s gunshot accident and why you erased every single information about you and him-I knew it all.”
Zhou Mi was beyond panicking right now. He went to the balcony, hoping to get a waft of fresh air to calm his nerve. He gripped the railing tightly, his voice trembled against his will, “So…What do you want to do now? You’re gonna tell me in?”
To his surprise, Donghae answered, “No. That was originally my plan but not now, not anymore. I…I’ll give him back.”
“Wh…at?”
“Kyuhyun-I mean, Kuixian. I’ll give him back to you,” Donghae said, surprised at his own calm voice, “I’ll send Kuixian back to you today.”
“Y-You mean…” Zhou Mi almost cried in happiness, “You mean, I-I get to see my Kuixian again?”
“Yeah…You get to see your Kuixian again,” Donghae repeated, “But with a price.”
“Anything,” the Chinese male said eagerly, “I’ll give you anything you want.”
A small smile tugged on Donghae’s lips at hearing the eagerness in Zhou Mi’s voice, Kyuhyun definitely got a great man, “Take care of him for me.”
Zhou Mi paused as Donghae continued, his eyes gentle as he played with the silver ring on his finger, “He’s my everything. I would kill for happiness and now I hope Zhou Mi-ssi can do the same for him too.”
A choked sobs were heard from the other line and Donghae bit his lips to hold his own tears. Zhou Mi fell on his knees as his whole body weakened, the tears rolling down his cheeks like heavy rain.
“I’m counting on you, Zhou Mi-ssi,” Donghae managed shakily, “Take care of my angel…our angel.”
“I-I’m sorry….” Zhou Mi sobbed out an apology, after apology, after apology and the tears fell from Donghae’s eyes.
“I’m so sorry,” the Chinese male continued brokenly, “I-What I’ve done…cannot be forgiven for million of years-to give a wretched person like me with an angel like him-I-I’m so sorry…I’m really, really sorry.”
Donghae inhaled deeply before letting out a shaky sigh,
“I’m sorry too.”
--
Donghae stared at the wooden door in front of him in silent and pure melancholy. He was afraid to see what’s behind that door. He wants the door to stay closed, to keep his Kyuhyun inside, to keep Kyuhyun by his side. But he can’t do that. Not now. Not when he had gone this far. So with heavy heart, he opened the door and was greeted with Kyuhyun sitting at the edge of the neatly made bed, his face buried into his palms.
He walked slowly to the younger one and stopped to kneel in front of him. Kyuhyun removed his hands, sensing Donghae’s presence. Donghae’s heavy heart dropped at seeing Kyuhyun’s swollen and reddened puffy eyes. The pad of his thumb stroked Kyuhyun’s cheekbone tenderly, “Are you ready?”
Kyuhyun’s bottom lip trembled and the clear tears fell from his dark brown eyes, “I-I’m sorry…”
When Kyuhyun apologized, he sounded like Zhou Mi earlier and Donghae wonders if he really looks that pitiful. He wonders if everything he had done seems desperate and pitiful in other people’s eyes. The sympathy didn’t anger him, instead it made him feels like the worst person ever existed. He’s the one who screwed up-he didn’t deserve their apologies.
“You have to be happy,” Donghae tells as he grabbed the back of Kyuhyun’s head, his eyes glassy and in pain, “Don’t be sorry. Just be happy.”
Donghae rested his forehead against Kyuhyun’s and the younger one’s eyes close when he moved to kiss his forehead. He let his lips linger, wishing the moment won’t have to break. But he needs to, so he pulled away before standing up and grabbing Kyuhyun’s hand. Without any word, he lead Kyuhyun out of the room, down the stairs, his steps slow and steady as he tries to save every moment he has with Kyuhyun before he’s gone.
Forever.
Mr. Park was already waiting for them and the taxi has already arrived and Donghae gripped Kyuhyun's hand tighter. The younger one stared at their hands and even though Donghae's tight grip is crushing his bones, he said nothing because right now, his heart was hurting the most.
Donghae steps come to a stop and his grip on Kyuhyun's hand slowly loosened. He turned around and forced out a smile as he cupped Kyuhyun's teary face, “It’s time to go.”
More tears fell from the younger one eyes because Donghae didn't mention his name once. Not Kuixian, not even Kyuhyun. Truth is, he was still confused as well, not sure which one is the real him. Maybe Donghae knows about this, maybe that's why he decided to let him go.
The taxi driver helps to open the door for Kyuhyun and Donghae smiled gently as he stroked Kyuhyun's hair, “You should go now.”
Kyuhyun said nothing and he pulled away from Donghae with sad eyes. He stopped before the taxi to turn to Donghae, “Thank you, Donghae hyung.”
Donghae's eyes widened, because that's the first time Kyuhyun calls his name after three years, “I know this is selfish but...can you wait for me?”
The older one nodded, “Of course. I will wait.”
Kyuhyun jerked his eyes away from Donghae when the mere sight of the older male was getting to unbearable for him. He quickly gets inside the taxi, and let the driver shuts the door, creating a physical barrier between him and Donghae.
The engine starts and Kyuhyun placed his hands against the window, his tears rolled down faster when the taxi drives away and Donghae slowly disappears from his sight. He felt bad, he felt awful for not knowing his own feelings. He hurt Zhou Mi for wanting him despite everything and he hurt Donghae for making him wait.
“Are you okay sir?” the taxi driver asked, a hint of worry in his voice seeing him hyperventilates through his heavy tears.
“I’m a cruel person," he sobbed instead, “I’ve hurt the people I love.”
--
“So that's it. That's everything I hid from you.”
Zhou Mi stared at the empty spot on the coffee table, he didn't dare to look at Victoria and Henry’s face. But he knows what are the looks they're wearing; shock, disbelieve and probably pure disgust.
He said nothing when Victoria stands up, her voice surprisingly calm, “I need to be alone.” The waitress walked away without a word or a comment about the truth he just revealed and Zhou Mi didn't blame her for that. Henry followed after that, a sigh escaping his lips, “I need time to process it, ge. I just...” he paused, not really know what he felt about it before leaving to his room.
Zhou Mi looked up to Auntie Yuki and smiled brokenly to her apologetic look.
Zhou mi blows against his freezing palm, attempting to keep his body warm. After the call with Donghae, he took a long moment to collect himself before deciding to wait for Kuixian outside the mansion. Hangeng arrived a moment later, two cups of hot chocolate in his hands.
“You looked happy.”
Zhou Mi’s grin widened as he accepts the hot chocolate, “I am.”
--
“Are you okay sir?” the taxi driver asked for the second time as he handed Kuixian a handkerchief. He tentatively took it and wiped his tears, his cries slowly reduced to silent sobs.
“If you're so sad, why leave in the first place?”
Kuixian said nothing and the taxi driver hastily apologies for being nosy. He brushed the apologies away, “I don't really know. I don't want to leave but I have to. I just...I don't know...”
“I’m sorry," he said between his sobs, “You must be annoyed with a cry baby like me.”
“Not at all sir,” the driver chuckled, “A customer crying his eyes out is not something you see every day, but if you're sad, there are no laws stating you can't cry in a taxi.”
A soft chuckle managed to escape from Kuixian and the taxi driver smiles, “What is your name sir? If you don't mind me asking.”
Kuixian pondered on the question, even though it's an easy question, Kuixian finds himself ponder hard on the question.
“K-Kuixian...” he answered hesitantly, “My name is Zhou Kuixian."
“Nice to meet you, Kuixian-ssi,” the taxi driver lifts his head and smiled brightly through the rear-view mirror.
“My name is Ryeowook.”
--
Donghae looked around the garden behind the Lee mansion, where he used to play with Chaerin, Kyuhyun and Hyukjae. He can still hear the laughter, the joyful shriek as they frolicking under the sun, the cries from Chaerin when she pricks her finger with the roses’ thorn, the nags coming from Kyuhyun and the worried hush from Hyukjae.
But all is left as memories.
“Donghae oppa.”
Donghae turned to Chaerin's voice and he let out a pained smile at the younger's teary face. Chaerin didn't wait as she runs across the garden into Donghae’s arms and she cried to his chest. Donghae stroked the younger's hair and she choked out a, “Why?”
“I'm sorry Chaerin-ah,” he apologized instead and he thinks this is right, this is what he's supposed to do. He owes so many apologizes to Chaerin, Hyukjae and Kyuhyun, not the other way around.
“I’m sorry for everything,” his voice trembled and the tears he tried to hold fall against his will, “I’m sorry for being selfish and burdening you. I'm so sorry.”
He looked up and Hyukjae slowly walked towards them, shedding a few tears of remorse, “Sorry, buddy,” Donghae said and Hyukjae shook his head as he let Donghae pulled him into a hug,
“I’m sorry for everything.”
--
“We’re here, Kuixian-ssi,” Ryeowook announced as he kills the engine and Kuixian peeks at the huge mansion before him. He checked the address scribbled by Donghae and frowned in confusion, “Is this the right place? It’s different from the address.”
“It does?” Ryeowook asked but he stepped out the taxi and opened the door for Kuixian, “But I was ordered to take you here.”
Kuixian stared at the taxi driver, feeling oddly uneasy at the way his eyes glint with his smile. But he said nothing and slowly steps out of the vehicle, following Ryeowook as the smaller male lead him to the mansion. He pushed open the wooden door and Kuixian stopped dead on his steps when an unfamiliar male stood in front of him. His hair was jet black, with a cute button nose, and round cheeks, Kuixian almost didn’t notice the pouty lips curling into a smirk and the dangerous glint in his foxy eyes.
“I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Umm…I’m…”
“Kyuhyun.”
“I’m Lee Sungmin.”
a/n: hi guys sorry for this late update and I have an announcement to make. this is probably the last update from me because I’m taking a long rest. about a month ago I was diagnosed with leukaemia and I’ve been really depressed. that’s why the previous chapter was a late update. I thought I’ll be okay but between chemo and quitting school, I fell into depression again. I was very weak and I didn’t have the appetite and energy to the things I love. and though I’m embarrassed to say this, I tried to commit suicide two weeks ago. I may have to enter rehab-I don’t really know but, this story will still continue. I know some of you are still waiting with my sow update and I swear to god, I really appreciate you guys. if I can, I’ll try to update the next few chapters but the upcoming chapters most probably will be updated by my friend, wintrynight. I had known her for more than a year through twitter before I deactivate and we contacted through emails. she just made an aff account months ago and she is one of the best writers for me. I hope you guys will forgive me for this sudden withdrawal. I am really, really sorry and I love you guys. I hope we can meet again :’)
Author: imaginarybulb
Pairing(s): Kyuhyun/Donghae, Kyuhyun/ZhouMi, Kyuhyun/Sungmin (yes, Kyuhyun is loved by three men >.<), Chaerin/Hyukjae, more pairings will be revealed in upcoming chapters
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Summary:
I love you,
Even if the world is shaking,
Even if the sky is falling,
Even if the ground is breaking,
Even if I was left alone,
Even if you leave,
Even if he’s there,
Even if that beautiful smile isn’t mine anymore
-No more pain goodbye, goodbye-
“I know, with all that’s happening right now-with Donghae, with Kyuhyun and-and a lot of things…I know it doesn’t seem appropriate but….Lee Chaerin, will you marry me?”
Chaerin looks up from the pavement to Hyukjae’s back and let out a sigh. The older man had been silent all the way from the hospital to their house but Chaerin knows all hell will break loose once they step into the mansion.
Hyukjae stopped when they were inside and Chaerin hold her breathe when the older one turned around. It wasn’t anger on his face, more like disappointment and hurt-either way, it’s way worst than anger.
“You’re tired?” Hyukjae asked, but not in concern.
Chaerin looked away and Hyukjae continued, “Because I’m tired you know? I mean, look at us, getting into stupid fights just because you don’t listen to me. Why would you do that?”
“Do what?” Chaerin asked, lifeless.
“This. Everything.” Hyukjae huffed, the anger in him slowly raising, “Why would you help someone who caused you to be in misery for three long years!?”
Chaerin didn’t flinch at the rise in Hyukjae’s voice, nor did she react. She just stared blankly at the floor before asking, “Do you know how long I’ve been friends with Donghae oppa?”
Hyukjae said nothing and Chaerin looked into her husband’s eyes, “19 years. And you expect me to throw away our 19 years of friendship? Donghae oppa needs help and I’m just doing what I’m supposed to do as a friend!”
The look on Hyukjae’s face doesn’t change. And truthfully, Chaerin was a bit taken aback. Hyukjae had been friends with Donghae since they were younger-he’s supposed to be able to tolerate. However the older male only to heave a breath, “So if ask you to choose between me and Donghae, who would you choose?”
Chaerin was at the verge of tears, “Isn’t that unfair!? You’re telling me to choose between my 19 years of friendship and my husband!”
“You’re not answering my question, Chae.”
“Oppa,” Chaerin called out desperately. But Hyukjae didn’t waver. Not even the slightest. Chaerin realized he was dead serious about her choosing. She can’t choose, not in this kind of situation. She had known Donghae since forever-he was basically her first friend. But Hyukjae…Hyukjae is her husband, the man she married, the father of her unborn child. The man she’s going to spend the rest of her life with. But most importantly, Hyukjae is by her side through thick and thin.
But…
“Kyuhyun…Kyuhyun why did you leave me-why Kyuhyun, WHY!?”
“….I need to help Donghae oppa,” Chaerin said softly, her own words lacerating her heart, her insides violently trashing and screaming, no, no, no, I love you Hyukjae-I love-
“Fine then.” Chaerin’s head snapped up when Hyukjae walks passed her without a glance.
“It was my fault!!” she yelled out, her hands gripping by her sides, the tears dripping down like raindrops, “I was the one who gave the plane ticket to Kyuhyun oppa! I-If I didn’t-” she wheezed, her shoulders shaking, “-then Sungmin oppa won’t-”
Hyukjae looks back at his sobbing wife, his heartstring tugged at the sight, “I-I just want to fix everything…”
“She was very lucky. In normal circumstances, that amount of stress can cause miscarriage. But I bet she won’t get a second chance. Please take care of her.”
Hyukjae let out a tired sigh and turned back to the door, “I need some times alone.”
“O-Oppa,” Chaerin quickly grabbed his arm, stopping the older one.
Hyukjae looks at Chaerin and there’s residue of tears on her face. She was still sobbing softly and she was looking at him pleadingly. As much as Hyukjae wants to cup her face and wipe her tears and kiss her sadness away, he needs to stand on his ground, for Chaerin and their baby.
“I love you Chaerin-ah,” he brushed off Chaerin’s grip gently, “And I want to protect you. But if you’re going to put yourself in a dangerous situation…my hands are tied. There’s nothing I can do.”
“Oppa…”
Hyukjae stroked her hair and kissed her forehead, “Just get some rest,” before leaving the mansion. Leaving her.
Yes, Donghae is his best friend. His best bro. ‘Bros for life’ as they promised when they’re that young and stupid school boys.
But that’s the problem. They’re not that young and stupid school boys. They’re grown adults. And as a grown adult, Hyukjae knows he has responsibilities and that is Chaerin and their baby. He promised that he’ll take care of her, that when they’re married, Chaerin will always be first.
“Chaerin!!” Donghae called out as he, Hyukjae and Kyuhyun burst into the room, their breath came out in labor. Heechul was the one to greet them, with a grieve look on his face.
“Wh-What happened,” Donghae asked, still catching his breath, “I-Is Chaerin okay?”
Heechul said nothing, only turning his head to the girl in topic. Chaerin was sitting on the hospital bed, her legs dangling above the waxed floor and suddenly, for a thirteen years old girl, Hyukjae thinks Chaerin looks incredibly small, incredibly fragile. He went to Chaerin and stood in front of the younger one. Chaerin doesn’t seem to notice his presence or maybe all her energy and feelings had died along in the fire and Hyukjae was scared.
Silently, he cupped Chaerin’s face and gently make her looked up to his face. She was hurt. Physically. Her head are bandaged, covering her left eye. There are cuts and bruises and wounds on her face and along her arms and legs.
There are cuts and bruises and wounds on her soul and Hyukjae felt his insides died a little bit.
“Chaerin-ah…” he called out softly and maybe his voice had some sort of effect on Chaerin because there’s a spark of life in her eye, just barely and she voiced out.
“…They’re gone…”
Without another word, Hyukjae pulled her into a suffocating hug, his own tears fell for Chaerin. Kyuhyun was crying silently, probably having Donghae calming him down. But Chaerin didn’t say a word, didn’t drop a single tear, didn’t even ask where her brother is.
That day, Lee Chaerin’s soul died in a fire and Lee Hyukjae promised to bring that soul back to life.
--
“The doctor told me you have to start taking a rest. For your health.”
Sungmin stopped buttoning his dress shirt for a short millisecond to glance at Ryeowook before continuing, “Doctors are always like that. Overly paranoid for something. I am fine, Ryeowook.”
“But sir-”
Sungmin returned his glance to Ryeowook, except it’s colder and more cunning and Ryeowook shuts his lips but still appeared calm, “I am fine, Ryeowook.”
The Lee heir grabbed his tie and put it around his neck, “Have you done what I ordered you to do, Ryeowook?”
Ryeowook heave a sigh, “Yes, sir. He should be here by evening or tonight.”
A smirk tugged on Sungmin’s lips, “Good.”
--
“Are you sure you’ll be okay alone?”
Dongwoon turned his head to smile at Hyunseung over his back, “Yeah. I’ll be fine, hyung. Thank you for sending me here.”
Hyunseung bit his bottom lip, still contemplating. He let his eyes wander to the magnificent mansion in front of them. It’s almost as extravagant as Changmin’s and Hyunseung wonders what is the connection between Dongwoon and the owner of the mansion.
“I’m going, hyung,” Dongwoon announced, breaking him off his trance, “You should get going too.”
Hyunseung stared at Dongwoon; he really doesn’t feel like letting Dongwoon go yet. He wasn’t sure when he’ll meet the young doctor again. But he has no right to stop Dongwoon, he sighed silently and nodded. Bidding him a reluctant goodbye, he gets in the car, driving off before his subconscious changes his mind.
Dongwoon absentmindedly stare at the disappearing car before he looked away with a heavy heart. His eyes darted back to the mansion and the heaviness in his heart just multiplied. He swallowed thickly, hurriedly gather himself and forced his legs to take him to the door. He raised shaky hand slowly, took a deep breath and knocked on the door twice. He had called Zhou Mi earlier, informing his arrival so it doesn’t surprise him to have the older one opening the door in a mere second.
“Dongyun?” Zhou Mi called out but Dongwoon said nothing in reply. The café owner frowned slightly at the lack of greeting from Dongwoon but wordlessly helped the younger one inside. Victoria and Henry swarmed them like bees, asking why Dongwoon was there and yet, no words come out from Dongwoon.
“Dongwoon?” Auntie Yuki called out and this time, Dongwoon looked up at hearing his Korean name. He was never good in hiding his feelings and thoughts from Auntie Yuki, that’s why with one look, the older female just nodded in understanding.
“Mi,” she looked at Zhou Mi, “Why don’t you take Dongyun upstairs? He must be tired from the flight.”
Zhou Mi gave her a confused look before understanding dawn on him. He lead Dongwoon upstairs, to his room, sending subtle eye signal to Hangeng to follow them. Hangeng caught it, silently following the pair upstairs.
After they settled down in Dongwoon’s room, Zhou Mi sat beside the young doctor, “Hey, what’s wrong? I thought you hated coming back to Korea?”
There was silence before Dongwoon broke out, tears rolling down his cheeks, “I-I was kidnapped…”
Zhou Mi and Hangeng’s eyes widened, “What?”
Dongwoon looked at Zhou Mi, “T-The people who took Kuixian gege…They took me too.”
“‘They?’ But the private investigator told me the kidnapper is one guy.”
Dongwoon shook his head vigorously, “No… He didn’t really take Kuixian gege… H-He paid a few people to do it for him.”
“And they took you too?” Dongwoon nodded, “But why?”
At this, Dongwoon cried harder, choked sobs escaped his chapped lips as he looked at Zhou Mi ruefully, “I-I’m so sorry-I had to-I was so scared-I’m so sorry-”
“Dongyun? Wha-”
“I-I had to tell them-I’m so sorry gege-I-I just…” realization slowly dawns on Zhou Mi when he finally comprehends what Dongwoon was trying to tell him. He was rendered speechless as Dongwoon spilled out his apologies and reasons like a flowing water, “I-I need to tell them g-ge-T-They said h-he-he has someone w-waiting for him-I just-I feel so-so wrong-I’m so sorry-”
Dongwoon covered his face and sobbed into his palms and Hangeng rushed to his side to calm him down. He looked worriedly at Zhou Mi, “Mi… What do you want to do now? You’ve been hiding this for too long.”
Zhou Mi looked at Hangeng then to the sobbing Dongwoon. Guilt hits him-Dongwoon carried a heavy dirt of secret on his shoulders and he was guilty for forcing him into it. He sighed heavily, tiredly, wishing all his burdens and guilt will disappear like the air but he knows better. Standing up, Zhou Mi patted Dongwoon’s head before leaving the two baffled males.
“You asked me what can you do to repay my kindness, right? This is it, Dongyun. I’m just asking for this one and only favor.”
Zhou Mi stepped down the stairs slowly, seeing Victoria and Henry looking up at him, “Is Dongyun okay?” He said nothing, sending a look to Auntie Yuki before averting his gaze to Victoria and Henry when Auntie Yuki exhaled silently with a nod.
“There’s something I want to tell you.”
Victoria and Henry raised their brows and Zhou Mi exhaled, feeling the burden and guilt dissipate into the air with his words,
“It’s about Kuixian’s accident three years ago.”
--
“Yeah, I’ll get to you later,” Yunho ended the call with hurried footsteps and grabbed his jacket on his shoulder before putting it on as he ordered Yoochun to get the car ready. It was then Junhyung stopped him, saying that Donghae was here to see him.
“Donghae?” he raised his brows at the unexpected guess, “What brings you here?”
“I need to speak to you about something.”
“Is it important? Or can it wait? Because I’m kinda in a hurry. I just found a lead about Zhou Mi and if we-”
"That's..." Donghae cuts him off, “what I want to talk about.”
Yunho gave him a confused look and Donghae sighed softly, “I want you to stop searching.”
“What?”
“Everything, I want you stop. It's already ended.”
“I don't...” Yunho was taken aback, “What do you mean ended?”
It was then Yunho got a proper look on Donghae and he had an apologetic look on his face, “I was wrong. I've been so selfish and I’ve hurt everyone around me. Including Kyuhyun. I just...I just want everything to end.”
“Wh-so you're gonna let that guy go!? After what he did!? Donghae, we can get this guy. Just wait for me to get more evidence so we can press charges and you can get Kyu-”
“I don't what that!” Yunho was rendered speechless at Donghae's sudden outburst, “I don't want to press charges okay!? I don't want to do anything! I just...” he exhaled shakily, “I just want everyone to be safe and happy...including Kyuhyun.”
“That's why...I want you to stop Yunho. Just forget everything. Let this go.”
“Donghae…” Yunho called out softly but made no further objections. He knows how madly in love Donghae is with Kyuhyun and judging from the pained look on his face, Yunho knows it takes Donghae every strength of his soul to do this.
“...Okay then,” he said finally, “I’ll tell them to stop.”
Donghae bit his bottom lip and Yunho wondered if the tears in Donghae's eyes were because he was touched with Yunho's willingness or a sign how inside he was drowning in anguish.
Either way, Yunho admires his strength to pull himself together.
“Thanks,” Donghae manages with a forced smile, “I'll wire you the money.”
With short nod from Yunho, Donghae left.
--
“Everything. I want you to stop, it's already ended.”
Changmin rushed back to his car when he saw Donghae walking towards the door. He just got back from his office to fetch some documents when he saw Donghae entered the Shim household. He didn't mean to eavesdrop to the two's conversation, but Donghae's words made him stop on his feet.
What does Donghae hyung means by that? he thought as he lowered himself on the seat when Donghae walks passed his vehicle. Worried teeth gnawing his bottom lip, uneasiness settles in the pit of his stomach. He doesn't like the hidden meaning behind Donghae's words.
What happened? he raised his head to see Donghae's car leaving the property. Letting out a silent sigh, he sat properly, still pondering about Donghae.
Maybe Chaerin knows, he concluded before starting his engine and drive away.
--
Chaerin massaged her temple tiredly when she senses a headache. She decided not to go to the office today and finish her works at home because of what happened between her and Hyukjae and also she was advised to stay home for a few days. She rubbed her belly, a small smile tugged on her lips at the thought of bearing her child.
She was broke off the trance when her phone rang, “Hello?” she answered without looking at the caller's ID, already expecting it's Dara regarding the reports she requested.
“Chaerin-ssi,” she stopped when Changmin's voice greeted her instead.
“What do you want?” her tone was hostile and her body went rigid.
“I have something to tell you. I'm outside your house. Please, it's important,” Changmin pleaded and Chaerin bit her bottom lip, pondering on her next actions before sighing.
“Fine.”
Don't stress yourself, she whispers to herself as she stood up and leaves her home office. She used to welcome Changmin's visits with joy, especially when he came with Kyuhyun but after what happened she just can't bear looking at Changmin.
When she opened the door, she felt her heart breaking a little to see her used to be best friend standing there looking consumed by guilt.
“What is it?” she asked curtly, trying to sound indifferent.
Changmin's look dropped a little before he recovered, “It's about Donghae hyung.”
Chaerin perks up at the older one's name, “Donghae oppa? What's wrong? What happened to him?”
“He-he came earlier, to Yunho hyung and-and he told Yunho hyung to stop searching on Zhou Mi and Zhou Kuixian.”
“What?”
“He-he said something about everything had ended-I thought you may know something about it.”
"I want you to stop seeing Donghae. If you care about the baby, please, Chaerin, do as I said."
“I need your help, Chaerin,” Changmin grabbed her hands, “You're the only who can help Donghae hyung and-and Kyuhyun.” Chaerin was taken aback at Changmin's glassy eyes, “Please…Help them...Kyuhyun...”
“What are you doing?”
Chaerin and Changmin's head snapped towards Hyukjae’s angry voice. The older one's eyes grew darker at seeing Changmin holding Chaerin's hands and he lunged towards the Shim heir. He grabbed his collar and jerked him away from her, before punching him squarely on the jaw.
“Oppa!!” Chaerin gasped.
“I thought I warned you two to stay away from Chaerin!? How dare you show your face here and touch her with your filthy hands!”
Changmin stayed frozen on the ground as Chaerin grabbed he angry Hyukjae’s arm, “All this time, I’ve been so fucking nice to you because I think about our friendship and the friendship between you and Kyuhyun and Chaerin but no, you just have to hurt her don't you?”
“I was wrong, you're just like your father! Murderer!”
“I fucking trust you."
Changmin cried through the heavy rain as he gripped Yunho's shirt tightly. The older male was bleeding badly from Donghae's angry punches and kicks but his arms are still strong enough to hold Changmin in his embrace, shielding him from Donghae's wrath.
“You two are supposed to be her friends!! How can you possibly-” Donghae clenched his teeth, too angry to say out their faults. There are pure rage in Donghae's eyes, and utter disappointment and a hint of disgust. But for Changmin that's better than how Chaerin didn't even want to look or talk to them.
“Changmin did nothing wrong,” Yunho countered defiantly, “He didn't know his father would-”
“But you do, don’t you!?” Donghae angry words stopped Yunho, “You’ve known all along, even before the accident. And Changmin knew before we do. You two knew it before hand and yet you played us like a fool. You laughed and joked around with her as if nothing wrong when your father-”
Changmin cried harder into Yunho’s arms.
“….your father orchestrated the whole accident. He killed Chaerin’s parents and almost killed her and you got the fucking nerve to show your face in front of her.” Donghae finished with a trembled tone, his whole body shaking with anger. Kyuhyun was standing behind him and when Changmin tries to plead with his eyes, the other one kept his eyes glued to the ground, his own feelings conflicted; part of him want to help Changmin but the other part just couldn’t look at the Shim heir.
“Go,” Donghae said, voice dangerously low, “Just get the fuck out off my sight and don’t show your face in front of me or Chaerin again.”
“Just stay away from us, Changmin,” Hyukjae said, a hint of plea in his voice, “I just want to protect my family, okay? I don’t want them to get hurt.”
Changmin said nothing for a moment before he looked up to Hyukjae and then to the crying Chaerin. His own tears fell at the sight of the younger one, “If this is about my father, then I’m sorry.”
“I’m so sorry, Chaerin. I really am. If-If I knew it earlier, I swear, I would do everything in my power to stop him. But-” He choked on his tears, surprising both Hyukjae and Chaerin, “I found out about it after the accident so-I-I swear everything I said to you before that, I meant it. Every ‘I’m here for you’ and Be strong’, I really, really meant it.”
“If you want to hate me for the rest of your life for this, then go ahead. I won’t say anything but…but Donghae hyung…he needs us…he needs your help. He and Kyuhyun….They deserve to be happy. D-Don’t you want the same thing for them?”
“Even if y-you want to hate me so much you want to kill me…just please, help Donghae hyung and Kyuhyun.”
--
“This is Zhou Mi’s current number… I just…I thought maybe you want to talk to him.”
Donghae stared at the piece of paper in his hand, Yunho’s handwriting scribbling a set of numbers on it. He dialed the number before hesitantly pressed the call button, his own heart beating rapidly in nervousness as he waits with the dull calling tone.
The tone stopped and Donghae froze as an unfamiliar deep voice greeting him in Chinese, “Hello?”
He swallowed, “H-Hello?” his voice came out shakily.
There’s a pause, probably the other one was pondering on the Korean greeting. Before he could correct himself, Zhou Mi cuts him off in Korean, “Hello? Who’s this?”
Donghae almost sighed in relieve, he can speaks Korean…at least Kyuhyun will feel close to home, “Is this Zhou Mi-ssi?”
“Yes, I am,” Zhou Mi frowned slightly, “Who am I speaking to?”
“My name…” Donghae licked his dry lips, “…My name is Lee Donghae.”
“Lee Donghae?”
“….I…I’m…” he heaved a sigh, “I’m the man who took your fiancé.”
Zhou Mi shot up from his couch in instant, his eyes widened in shock, “Wh-What-You-Kuixian-Where is Kuixian!? What have you done to him!?”
“I’ve done nothing to hurt him,” Donghae sounds tad a bit offended but Zhou Mi didn’t notice as his attention was all on Zhou Mi. That made Donghae feels relieved too, at least he cares about Kyuhyun a lot.
“Where is he!?” Zhou Mi demanded, “Please-Please let me speak to him!”
“He’s not here with me right now,” Donghae said and when Zhou Mi was about to attack him verbally, he cuts him off, “But I swear, he’s fine.”
“How can I be sure!? How can I know you didn’t hurt him!?”
“Because he’s my Kyuhyun.”
“Wh-”
“I know, Zhou Mi-ssi. What happened three years ago, I know everything,” Donghae confessed calmly, a stark contrast to Zhou Mi’s paled face and his sputter of words.
“Wh-What do you mean? What-What did you know!?”
“The accident three years ago-Zhou Kuixian’s gunshot accident and why you erased every single information about you and him-I knew it all.”
Zhou Mi was beyond panicking right now. He went to the balcony, hoping to get a waft of fresh air to calm his nerve. He gripped the railing tightly, his voice trembled against his will, “So…What do you want to do now? You’re gonna tell me in?”
To his surprise, Donghae answered, “No. That was originally my plan but not now, not anymore. I…I’ll give him back.”
“Wh…at?”
“Kyuhyun-I mean, Kuixian. I’ll give him back to you,” Donghae said, surprised at his own calm voice, “I’ll send Kuixian back to you today.”
“Y-You mean…” Zhou Mi almost cried in happiness, “You mean, I-I get to see my Kuixian again?”
“Yeah…You get to see your Kuixian again,” Donghae repeated, “But with a price.”
“Anything,” the Chinese male said eagerly, “I’ll give you anything you want.”
A small smile tugged on Donghae’s lips at hearing the eagerness in Zhou Mi’s voice, Kyuhyun definitely got a great man, “Take care of him for me.”
Zhou Mi paused as Donghae continued, his eyes gentle as he played with the silver ring on his finger, “He’s my everything. I would kill for happiness and now I hope Zhou Mi-ssi can do the same for him too.”
A choked sobs were heard from the other line and Donghae bit his lips to hold his own tears. Zhou Mi fell on his knees as his whole body weakened, the tears rolling down his cheeks like heavy rain.
“I’m counting on you, Zhou Mi-ssi,” Donghae managed shakily, “Take care of my angel…our angel.”
“I-I’m sorry….” Zhou Mi sobbed out an apology, after apology, after apology and the tears fell from Donghae’s eyes.
“I’m so sorry,” the Chinese male continued brokenly, “I-What I’ve done…cannot be forgiven for million of years-to give a wretched person like me with an angel like him-I-I’m so sorry…I’m really, really sorry.”
Donghae inhaled deeply before letting out a shaky sigh,
“I’m sorry too.”
--
Donghae stared at the wooden door in front of him in silent and pure melancholy. He was afraid to see what’s behind that door. He wants the door to stay closed, to keep his Kyuhyun inside, to keep Kyuhyun by his side. But he can’t do that. Not now. Not when he had gone this far. So with heavy heart, he opened the door and was greeted with Kyuhyun sitting at the edge of the neatly made bed, his face buried into his palms.
He walked slowly to the younger one and stopped to kneel in front of him. Kyuhyun removed his hands, sensing Donghae’s presence. Donghae’s heavy heart dropped at seeing Kyuhyun’s swollen and reddened puffy eyes. The pad of his thumb stroked Kyuhyun’s cheekbone tenderly, “Are you ready?”
Kyuhyun’s bottom lip trembled and the clear tears fell from his dark brown eyes, “I-I’m sorry…”
When Kyuhyun apologized, he sounded like Zhou Mi earlier and Donghae wonders if he really looks that pitiful. He wonders if everything he had done seems desperate and pitiful in other people’s eyes. The sympathy didn’t anger him, instead it made him feels like the worst person ever existed. He’s the one who screwed up-he didn’t deserve their apologies.
“You have to be happy,” Donghae tells as he grabbed the back of Kyuhyun’s head, his eyes glassy and in pain, “Don’t be sorry. Just be happy.”
Donghae rested his forehead against Kyuhyun’s and the younger one’s eyes close when he moved to kiss his forehead. He let his lips linger, wishing the moment won’t have to break. But he needs to, so he pulled away before standing up and grabbing Kyuhyun’s hand. Without any word, he lead Kyuhyun out of the room, down the stairs, his steps slow and steady as he tries to save every moment he has with Kyuhyun before he’s gone.
Forever.
Mr. Park was already waiting for them and the taxi has already arrived and Donghae gripped Kyuhyun's hand tighter. The younger one stared at their hands and even though Donghae's tight grip is crushing his bones, he said nothing because right now, his heart was hurting the most.
Donghae steps come to a stop and his grip on Kyuhyun's hand slowly loosened. He turned around and forced out a smile as he cupped Kyuhyun's teary face, “It’s time to go.”
More tears fell from the younger one eyes because Donghae didn't mention his name once. Not Kuixian, not even Kyuhyun. Truth is, he was still confused as well, not sure which one is the real him. Maybe Donghae knows about this, maybe that's why he decided to let him go.
The taxi driver helps to open the door for Kyuhyun and Donghae smiled gently as he stroked Kyuhyun's hair, “You should go now.”
Kyuhyun said nothing and he pulled away from Donghae with sad eyes. He stopped before the taxi to turn to Donghae, “Thank you, Donghae hyung.”
Donghae's eyes widened, because that's the first time Kyuhyun calls his name after three years, “I know this is selfish but...can you wait for me?”
The older one nodded, “Of course. I will wait.”
Kyuhyun jerked his eyes away from Donghae when the mere sight of the older male was getting to unbearable for him. He quickly gets inside the taxi, and let the driver shuts the door, creating a physical barrier between him and Donghae.
The engine starts and Kyuhyun placed his hands against the window, his tears rolled down faster when the taxi drives away and Donghae slowly disappears from his sight. He felt bad, he felt awful for not knowing his own feelings. He hurt Zhou Mi for wanting him despite everything and he hurt Donghae for making him wait.
“Are you okay sir?” the taxi driver asked, a hint of worry in his voice seeing him hyperventilates through his heavy tears.
“I’m a cruel person," he sobbed instead, “I’ve hurt the people I love.”
--
“So that's it. That's everything I hid from you.”
Zhou Mi stared at the empty spot on the coffee table, he didn't dare to look at Victoria and Henry’s face. But he knows what are the looks they're wearing; shock, disbelieve and probably pure disgust.
He said nothing when Victoria stands up, her voice surprisingly calm, “I need to be alone.” The waitress walked away without a word or a comment about the truth he just revealed and Zhou Mi didn't blame her for that. Henry followed after that, a sigh escaping his lips, “I need time to process it, ge. I just...” he paused, not really know what he felt about it before leaving to his room.
Zhou Mi looked up to Auntie Yuki and smiled brokenly to her apologetic look.
Zhou mi blows against his freezing palm, attempting to keep his body warm. After the call with Donghae, he took a long moment to collect himself before deciding to wait for Kuixian outside the mansion. Hangeng arrived a moment later, two cups of hot chocolate in his hands.
“You looked happy.”
Zhou Mi’s grin widened as he accepts the hot chocolate, “I am.”
--
“Are you okay sir?” the taxi driver asked for the second time as he handed Kuixian a handkerchief. He tentatively took it and wiped his tears, his cries slowly reduced to silent sobs.
“If you're so sad, why leave in the first place?”
Kuixian said nothing and the taxi driver hastily apologies for being nosy. He brushed the apologies away, “I don't really know. I don't want to leave but I have to. I just...I don't know...”
“I’m sorry," he said between his sobs, “You must be annoyed with a cry baby like me.”
“Not at all sir,” the driver chuckled, “A customer crying his eyes out is not something you see every day, but if you're sad, there are no laws stating you can't cry in a taxi.”
A soft chuckle managed to escape from Kuixian and the taxi driver smiles, “What is your name sir? If you don't mind me asking.”
Kuixian pondered on the question, even though it's an easy question, Kuixian finds himself ponder hard on the question.
“K-Kuixian...” he answered hesitantly, “My name is Zhou Kuixian."
“Nice to meet you, Kuixian-ssi,” the taxi driver lifts his head and smiled brightly through the rear-view mirror.
“My name is Ryeowook.”
--
Donghae looked around the garden behind the Lee mansion, where he used to play with Chaerin, Kyuhyun and Hyukjae. He can still hear the laughter, the joyful shriek as they frolicking under the sun, the cries from Chaerin when she pricks her finger with the roses’ thorn, the nags coming from Kyuhyun and the worried hush from Hyukjae.
But all is left as memories.
“Donghae oppa.”
Donghae turned to Chaerin's voice and he let out a pained smile at the younger's teary face. Chaerin didn't wait as she runs across the garden into Donghae’s arms and she cried to his chest. Donghae stroked the younger's hair and she choked out a, “Why?”
“I'm sorry Chaerin-ah,” he apologized instead and he thinks this is right, this is what he's supposed to do. He owes so many apologizes to Chaerin, Hyukjae and Kyuhyun, not the other way around.
“I’m sorry for everything,” his voice trembled and the tears he tried to hold fall against his will, “I’m sorry for being selfish and burdening you. I'm so sorry.”
He looked up and Hyukjae slowly walked towards them, shedding a few tears of remorse, “Sorry, buddy,” Donghae said and Hyukjae shook his head as he let Donghae pulled him into a hug,
“I’m sorry for everything.”
--
“We’re here, Kuixian-ssi,” Ryeowook announced as he kills the engine and Kuixian peeks at the huge mansion before him. He checked the address scribbled by Donghae and frowned in confusion, “Is this the right place? It’s different from the address.”
“It does?” Ryeowook asked but he stepped out the taxi and opened the door for Kuixian, “But I was ordered to take you here.”
Kuixian stared at the taxi driver, feeling oddly uneasy at the way his eyes glint with his smile. But he said nothing and slowly steps out of the vehicle, following Ryeowook as the smaller male lead him to the mansion. He pushed open the wooden door and Kuixian stopped dead on his steps when an unfamiliar male stood in front of him. His hair was jet black, with a cute button nose, and round cheeks, Kuixian almost didn’t notice the pouty lips curling into a smirk and the dangerous glint in his foxy eyes.
“I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Umm…I’m…”
“Kyuhyun.”
“I’m Lee Sungmin.”
a/n: hi guys sorry for this late update and I have an announcement to make. this is probably the last update from me because I’m taking a long rest. about a month ago I was diagnosed with leukaemia and I’ve been really depressed. that’s why the previous chapter was a late update. I thought I’ll be okay but between chemo and quitting school, I fell into depression again. I was very weak and I didn’t have the appetite and energy to the things I love. and though I’m embarrassed to say this, I tried to commit suicide two weeks ago. I may have to enter rehab-I don’t really know but, this story will still continue. I know some of you are still waiting with my sow update and I swear to god, I really appreciate you guys. if I can, I’ll try to update the next few chapters but the upcoming chapters most probably will be updated by my friend, wintrynight. I had known her for more than a year through twitter before I deactivate and we contacted through emails. she just made an aff account months ago and she is one of the best writers for me. I hope you guys will forgive me for this sudden withdrawal. I am really, really sorry and I love you guys. I hope we can meet again :’)