Remembrance - Chapter 18
Title: Remembrance
Author: imaginarybulb
Pairing(s): Kyuhyun/Donghae, Kyuhyun/ZhouMi, Kyuhyun/Sungmin (yes, Kyuhyun is loved by three men >.<), Chaerin/Hyukjae, more pairings will be revealed in upcoming chapters
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Summary:
I love you,
Even if the world is shaking,
Even if the sky is falling,
Even if the ground is breaking,
Even if I was left alone,
Even if you leave,
Even if he's there,
Even if that beautiful smile isn't mine anymore
-Oh tonight again, tonight again, her-
“Jungsu oppa…he’s looking for you.”
Donghae frowned, “Why?”
“I overheard that um…Kuixian-ssi’s…” Chaerin started, she told Donghae she prefers to call Kuixian by his name instead of Kyuhyun since she was not sure if the Chinese male is the Kyuhyun she knew, “…fiancé hired him to search for him. It seems like he got the information that you were involved.”
“Damn it…” Donghae raked is fingers over his messy hair. He suspects Heechul might tell Jungsu something since the Kim heir warned him about getting caught. He sighed heavily and Chaerin felt terrible seeing Donghae’s face looked even more tired and older than his real age.
“Oppa…” she called out, placing gentle hand on Donghae’s tensed shoulder, “I have an idea.”
Chaerin looked around her surroundings. The inside of the mansion was almost the same as the ways she remembers it and she was filled with the sense of nostalgic. She let out a small smile that was laced with bitterness as she trailed her fingers alone the line of the couch, her mind wanders off to the past.
“Umma, appa, I had so much today! The teacher said my ducksnake drawing is pretty! My friends also said the same thing! They told me they like the drawing!”
“Really? Can umma and appa see it?”
“Okay!”
She then averted her eyes to the staircase, her smile grew a little wider, a little fonder at the memories that were rushing through her mind.
“Oppa!! Wait for me!!”
“Chaerin-ah, don’t run down the stairs! You’ll fall!”
“But you won’t wait for me!”
“Fine, fine. I’ll wait, okay? Don’t run.”
Chaerin bit her bottom lip and quickly cuts her eyes away when she felt a stung behind her eyes. She sniffed and try to look somewhere else, somewhere that won’t remind her of the past she lost. But everything around her reminded her of the happy memories that she once had. Everything had changed and those memories only bring her pain and reminded her of the people she lost.
“What are you drawing, Chaerin-ah?”
“Our family.”
“You mean, that’s us? We looked like animals!”
“Of course! This is me, I have cat ears. And this oppa with bunny ears. Cute, right?”
“Aish… You and your imagination.”
“Ehe… Oppa, we will stay together right? With umma and appa and oppa and me.”
“Of course, Chaerin-ah.”
Chaerin quickly shuts her eyes tight when the bad memories threatened to loom her mind. She doesn’t want to be reminded of the rotten part of the past. She had grown to be strong, she doesn’t need the past to ruin her again.
“Chaerin-ah…”
The Lee heiress snapped her head towards Donghae, a forced smile spread on her face, “Yes oppa?”
“Thank you for letting us stay here,” Donghae stepped down the stairs with a grateful smile, “I owe you one.”
“You didn’t owe me,” Chaerin said, I’m the who’s in debt with you, she thinks, “How is he?” she asked instead, referring to Kuixian.
“He was confused, but didn’t object much.”
“Maybe he was opening up to you.”
Donghae smiled at her comment, the kind of smile that he would always wear during their young days; the sweet and cheerful smile, the one that is infectious. So Chaerin smiled back, her mind off the hated past.
The older male’s eyes then wandered around him, “This mansion is still standing, huh?”
Chaerin’s eyes follow him, looking at every inch of the main hall. There used to be family portraits hanging off the golden wall but all of them didn’t survive the accident that had happened. There are still patches of black burnt stains on some part of the walls and there are no furniture or cabinets. The bed in the room Kuixian was staying was bought beforehand, and so does the one in the room Donghae would be staying. The mansion originally a place similar to a haunted house, but this is the safest place Chaerin could think off.
“Sungmin oppa paid for the maintenance after our parents’ death. Memories, he said.”
“But why don’t you go all the way through?” Donghae asked, referring to the chapped walls and dull paint.
“He didn’t want to. If we were to fix this place like it used to we will be incline to stay here. And…that’s not something I want to either.”
Donghae said nothing, knowing very well of the younger’s unspeakable pain. The only sense of comfort he can give Chaerin is a warm hug because he knew that whatever words or assurance coming from him won’t be able to change the past.
“Poor children. They’re too young to lose their parents. In such a horrible way, too.”
--
“We’re moving?”
Donghae nodded as he pulled out a suitcase and begin to fold all the clothes in the closet. Kuixian sat on the bed beside Donghae, watching the older male. Lately he hadn’t feel jumpy or uncomfortable being in a close proximity with Donghae and he figures the older male must be delighted with the change in his behavior by the way he is all smile when Kuixian is close.
“Why?”
“It’s Chaerin’s old mansion,” Donghae answered, “I thought maybe you can remember more considering you spent a lot of time there when you were younger.”
Kuixian nodded to himself in understanding fashion. He’s not admitting that he is Kyuhyun, but he can’t just ignore all the dreams-slash-memories that had been bugging his mind. Right now, he’s neither admitting nor denying, he just wants to find the truth.
Kuixian turned away from the large window when Donghae entered his current room. He noticed that behind Donghae’s wide smiles and cheerful laughter, his eye-bags are prominent and his handsome face was touched with the sign of aging. He knew Donghae was tired, that he was carrying a very heavy burden on his shoulders, but Kuixian didn’t think he should share the burden yet. He still has a long way in finding his true-self.
“Do you want me to make you breakfast? You haven’t had anything.”
So are you, Kuixian thought, “Sure. But make one for you too. You looked tired.”
There’s that look again. That pure mirth radiating from his face as he smiles widely, “Okay then. I will. Um…Are you comfortable here?”
“Yeah,” Kuixian walked to his bed, “I’m fine. But, I’m wondering why the mansion looked so unkempt?”
Donghae’s face fell, just the slightest, “There’s a history about this mansion. But I don’t think I’m in place to tell you that. You have to ask Chaerin.”
Kuixian said nothing, but noted on his mind that he’ll ask the Lee heiress the next time she drops by.
--
“All done, Miss Chaerin?”
Chaerin smiled at the house steward, Park Hongjun as she walked down the pavement. Mr. Park had been the head butler of Lee household even before the time Chaerin or her brother was born. The older male loyalty to her family is undeniable from the way he stayed even after her parents’ death. Chaerin sees him as a father figure, someone she respects, and someone she trusts more than herself.
“Thank you for taking care of the place,” she said sincerely, which the older male replied with a short nod and smile.
“My pleasure, miss. I’ve done it the exact way you told me to.”
“Just enough for it to stand still,” Chaerin continued softly, remembering the exact words she told Mr. Park the day she moved out. The reason why she and Sungmin decided to keep the mansion is solely because of the memories they made with their parents. The good ‘ol days, they said. But they are also careful to keep it only as a memories holder, nothing more. That’s why she told Mr. Park to quit the excessive cleaning on the mansion.
“Please take care of them for me,” Chaerin started, referring to Donghae and Kuixian, “They are very important guests.”
“I will, miss,” the house steward assured, “And don’t worry about your brother.”
Chaerin smiled and turned her head to the old mansion; even after all these years, her heart still tugs at the sight of what once used to be a magnificent building, the fruit of her father’s thought, the touch of her mother’s creativity.
But all is left as memories.
--
“So, you’re saying Donghae had that kid with him?”
Jungsu nodded softly and Youngwoon groaned in frustration as he raked his fingers over his already messy hair. He couldn’t believe the guy he thought as his own brother is involved in a kidnapping and why it took Jungsu this long to tell him.
“Then what now?” he asked in exasperation, “Are they going to charge him with kidnapping or something? Did they know about this at all?”
“First of all, that depends on the client,” Jungsu answered calmly, “But you know the reason why people came to us is because they don’t want to involve the police. Second, yes, they know it’s Donghae and they’re on their way to our office.”
“Oh my God,” Youngwoon exclaimed and his body collapsed on the chair, “This is just too much. Donghae isn’t supposed to know.”
“But he did, and that’s no one’s fault.”
Youngwoon let out a sigh when Minho suddenly knocked on the door, “Hyung, someone wants to meet you.”
“Who-” Jungsu’s words died out when Chaerin stepped into the office, “Chaerin?” Both him and Youngwoon stood up in instant at the sight of the young Lee heiress. It’s been years since they last saw each other, that’s why it was a surprise seeing her.
However, it doesn’t seems to be a surprise for Chaerin when she only smiles silently and thanked Minho for his assistance. The male excused himself and Chaerin walked towards the two older males, “Nice to see you again Jungsu oppa, Youngwoon oppa.”
While Jungsu only nodded, Youngwoon asked, “What brings you here, Chaerin?”
The Lee heiress sat on the chair next to Youngwoon, “I have a favor to ask.”
“Anything,” Jungsu sat down while Youngwoon prefers to stand up with his eyes on Chaerin in mild suspicion. It’s not like the younger one’s visit is unwelcomed, but it’s been years and Chaerin coming here while they are discussing about Donghae and the kidnapping case would be too suspicious to be called as a coincidence. He knows how close Chaerin and Donghae were.
“What can I do?” Jungsu flashed his dimple smile before it falls just the slightest when he noticed Chaerin’s eyes flickered from the case files on his desk and a knowing smile formed on her face. Years of being a private investigator thought him to catch all these micro expressions but he prefers to play calm and not jumping to conclusion.
Chaerin said nothing as she took out a thick envelope from her handbag and placed it on the desk. Youngwoon took the envelope and inspected the content when his eyes widened, “It’s money, hyung. A lot of money.”
Jungsu looked at Chaerin questioningly while the younger simply said, “If it’s not enough, I’m willing to give more.”
“What’s this for?”
“I know it was hard to run the business. This can help you in the long run. You don’t have to worry about not paying the bills or closing up the business.”
“Thank you for your concern but we’re doing fine now,” Youngwoon said, placing the envelope back on the desk, his tone offended. Chaerin is his friend, yes, but he prefers to earn money by himself, not asking for his friends’ help.
“I know living off being a private investigator is hard. It’s not like people will come in everyday asking for your help,” Chaerin stated without looking at Youngwoon, “And I see you’ve hired a few people, don’t you think it’s unfair for them?”
“What do you want?” Jungsu asked straight to the point.
“A small, simple favor,” Chaerin smiled, “Leave Donghae oppa alone.”
While Jungsu appears calm and as if he had expected this, Youngwoon was baffled, “So you knew!?”
“Whether if I know or not and how do I know it is not something I want to discuss right now,” Chaerin’s tone was flat and business-like, “I just want to know if you agree to my favor.”
“Chaerin, you and I know that person is not Kyuhyun,” Jungsu stated.
“Yeah, and if you’re doing this because you felt guilty for what happened then don’t. Don’t do this, Chaerin. Don’t let your unnecessary guilt blinding your judgment-”
“Yes, I’m doing this out of guilt,” Chaerin cuts Youngwoon’s words off, her tone wavered and rough. She looked up at Youngwoon and the older male was taken aback at the glistening and defiant look of her eyes, “So what? Why is that wrong? What’s wrong with me trying to do my best to make up for all the misery I had caused on Donghae oppa?”
Youngwoon was rendered speechless while Chaerin tried so hard to keep her body from trembling and breaking down. She gathered herself and looked at Jungsu, “So I hope you’ll accept my offer. And about Kuixian-ssi, don’t worry about him. I know Donghae oppa. He wouldn’t hurt anyone. Especially him.”
Without letting the older male comes back with a reply or objection, Chaerin stood up and gave them a curt bow before turning and walking towards the door.
“Wait,” Jungsu stopped her and when she turned around, the older male took the envelope and walked towards her direction. He sighed and grabbed her hand before placing the envelope on her palm, “I can’t do that, Chaerin. You knew that. Yes, we’re hard on money but you know the reason I did this job, right?”
Chaerin said nothing but Jungsu figured she understood. The Lee heiress sighed heavily, “Fine,” she pushed back the envelope onto Jungsu’s hands, “But take the money. As a gift from me.”
While Jungsu scrambled for a reply, Chaerin walked out, smiling shortly towards Minho, Jonghyun and Donghee, which they reply with the same gesture, saving Jonghyun with excessive waving and excited grin.
When Chaerin exited the building, Zhou Mi, Auntie Yuki and Victoria stepped out of their car parked in front of the building. As the Chinese male rushed inside, he glanced towards Chaerin, a bit surprised when she did the same. Maybe the time had slowed down, which Zhou Mi thinks is impossible, but he felt the eye contact he made with the unknown female was very long.
“Whose picture is this?” Zhou Mi questioned as he picks up a Polaroid from the floor of his café. It was a photo of a couple and he had to admit the girl in the picture had a very cute eye-smile.
“Oh, there it is,” a voice said and when Zhou Mi turned around, an unknown guy smiled at him, all gums and teeth as he pointed to the Polaroid in his hand, “Thanks, that’s mine.”
“Oh…” Zhou Mi gave him the Polaroid, which he took with a grateful smile. The male bowed shortly to him before he jogged out of the café.
Geng gege’s friend, huh, Zhou Mi noted before shrugging and continued his work.
Like in the Cinderella’s fairytale, when the clock strikes 12, all magic is broken; that’s how the time went back to normal and their gaze broke when Chaerin looked away first. But Zhou Mi’s eyes were still on her, trying to figure out why she looks so familiar.
“What’s wrong?” Victoria asked, noticing the frown on his face.
Zhou Mi jumped from his trance, “Huh? Uh…” he paused before shaking his head off the thoughts, “It’s nothing.”
Victoria shrugged, decided to let it slide. Furthermore, they have something even more important to think about. Zhou Mi got a call from Jungsu last night, saying that he found out about Kuixian’s kidnapper and his possible whereabouts. The male was the most delighted one, he was too ecstatic and relieved that he cried out in happiness.
“Chaerin-”
Their steps stopped when they bumped into Jungsu on their way to his office. The private investigator had his eyes wide opened, surprised at the sight of his client, “Zhou Mi-ssi.”
“What’s wrong?” Zhou Mi asked, a hint of anxiety in his voice. Is there something wrong with Kuixian? What happened to him?
“Oh… N-Nothing,” Jungsu hid the envelope in his hands behind his back, “I’m surprised you’re early.”
“You got something on Kuixian?” the Chinese male questioned hurriedly, “Where is he now? Is he safe?”
“Yes,” Jungsu answered, his stance more composed, “I found the person who harassed Kuixian-ssi. I figure he had Kuixian-ssi with him now. Are you ready to go now?”
Zhou Mi didn’t wait a second to nod in confident, “I’m ready.”
--
“Did you know why that person took Kuixian away?” Victoria asked while they were in their way to Donghae’s place. Zhou Mi, Victoria and Hangeng decided to ride with Jungsu while Youngwoon is with Auntie Yuki and Henry.
Jungsu paused for a moment, deciding whether it was a good idea to tell the truth. But considering they’ll find out sooner or later, he answered, “Kuixian-ssi looked like his past lover.”
Zhou Mi’s head snapped towards Jungsu, his eyes widened and the blood drained from his body as tremor of fear shook his body. Jungsu didn’t notice though, since his eyes were on the road all the time. But Hangeng saw the change.
“H-His past lover?” he managed out shakily.
“Yeah…Umm, his…lover died in a car crash three years ago,” Jungsu stated and Zhou Mi had to hold on to the dashboard to stop himself from collapsing.
“Three years ago… That’s the same as Kuixian’s accident too,” Victoria noted absentmindedly.
“Yeah,” Jungsu’s eyes flickered towards Victoria through the rearview mirror for a short millisecond before he glanced at Zhou Mi, “Are you okay, Zhou Mi-ssi? You looked pale.”
“Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” Zhou Mi leaned back with a sigh and felt Victoria placing her palm on his forehead, “You haven’t eaten breakfast, that’s why.”
“Yeah,” he let out a forced smile, “I’m just excited.” He turned his head to the scenery outside, not missing the knowing look Hangeng sent him.
--
When they finally arrived, Zhou Mi didn’t wait for even a second to step out of the car and come running towards the door of the manor. Jungsu was taken aback at how desperate Zhou Mi look even from behind; as he pushed open the door and calling out Kuixian’s name repeatedly. While Jungsu tried to formulate a reason why the manor seemed empty, Zhou Mi had already run up the stairs with Hangeng following behind.
“Kuixian!” Zhou Mi swung open the door, hoping to see Kuixian standing by the window, smiling towards him as the golden rays of the sun illuminates his figures, making him look even more ethereal then he’s originally was.
“Mi gege.”
But instead, he was greeted with the biting cold of emptiness. He took shaky steps towards the bed in the room, before his legs given in and collapsing him onto the carpeted floor. He placed his palm over the duvet, feeling every inch of the soft material and tears fall from his eyes at the fleeting warmth against his palm.
“Have you found him?” Victoria asked as she stopped by the door beside Hangeng, only to be disappointed by the heartbreaking sight.
“He was here,” Zhou Mi whispered out, “He was here.”
Jungsu walked away from the sight in silent when he came across Youngwoon, “They’re not here, aren’t they?”
The older one shook his head and he suddenly remembers about Chaerin’s request.
“Leave Donghae oppa alone.”
“Chaerin,” he concluded and massaged the back of his neck in tiredness.
“But it couldn’t be her. We met her just now. And beside, we would’ve bumped into him on our way here.”
“That means she already knew that we’re looking for Donghae before she came to us,” Jungsu said, “She must’ve overheard me and Heechul yesterday.”
“What now?” Youngwoon asked, worry scrawled all over his face.
Jungsu’s mind flashback to how Zhou Mi desperately searches for Kuixian and the tears he shed for his beloved, “We continue searching.”
And somewhere in Seoul, Chaerin let out a sigh of relieve as her body relaxed against the leather seat of her car.
--
“Dongwoon, from now on you can forget everything that happened in your past. Forget everything and start fresh. I’m here and I promise you a better future for you. Just look forward and never weigh your mind with the past, okay?”
Dongwoon opened his eyes when Hyunseung entered his room, a tray of meal in his hands. The older one placed it on the coffee table as Dongwoon walked towards him, “How long do you intend to keep me here?”
Hyunseung looked at him before sighing silently and sat down. He gestured the young doctor to take a seat, which he complied to. It seems like Hyunseung is the only person in the household that Dongwoon is comfortable with, maybe that’s why Yunho send him instead of Junhyung.
“Dongwoon-ah,” Hyunseung started, “I know you want to go back to your home. But you have to understand the reason why we brought you here in the first place.”
“I don’t think I can understand someone who betrayed my trust,” he replied tonelessly, bleak eyes darted to his bandaged arm. He had been haunted by the past and anxiety that he scratched his arms until it bleeds.
“We need your help,” Hyunseung begged, “You’re the only one we can count on.”
Dongwoon said nothing but his jaws tightened. He heaved out a sigh and looked into Hyunseung’s eyes, “Do you know about my childhood?”
Hyunseung said nothing and Dongwoon guessed he might known only the gist of it and not the entire story. So he continued, “Ever since I was born, my life had been a living hell. My dad thinks my mom is a punching bag and I got away from his beating only because my mom took the hits for me.”
“But that changes. When my mom’s body just couldn’t take another beating and decided to give up. I was seven,” he looked at Hyunseung with hidden rage, “I was seven and when other seven-years-old had their father take them to the amusement park, I got my dad punching my guts.”
“That’s why I excel in my education. I tried so hard to be the best, I skipped grade, got first place in everything because I thought, maybe he hated me because I was useless-maybe, if I can excel then he would be proud of me and stop beating me.”
A sinister chuckle and a drop of tears fell, “But it doesn’t stop, you know. It get worse as I grow up. It’s-It’s almost to the point I’m just immune to every punches and kicks. It doesn’t hurt during the beating, it’s the aftereffects, when I’m just sitting in the bath tub tending every bruises and wounds and cuts. That’s when it hurt. Here,” he fisted his chest, “The thought of being lonely and unloved hurt me more than the physical abuse.”
He wiped the tears and exhaled shakily, “When I was 13-maybe he needs money, maybe he lost in gambling but I don’t know, he never tells me. But what I know is, when I was 13, he sold me to an exclusive club his friend owns.”
Hyunseung’s eyes widened in shock at Dongwoon’s confession, “You mean…”
“When other teenagers learned about smoking, I learned about blowjobs. When they fall in love and got heartbroken of one-sided love, I satisfy men’s desire and crushed like a piece of trash. For three years, my life had been nothing but filth and pain and shattered hopes and dreams.”
“But when I was 16, that was when I found Auntie Yuki,” Dongwoon sniffed, “She helped me run away from my dad, my life, everything. She took me under her wings and took care of me like I’m the most precious jewel. I feel loved.”
“That’s when I meet Zhou Mi. He accepted me like his own brother, never once looking at me in disgust or judging me for my past. They’re the reason why I’m still here, Hyunseung hyung. They’re the reason why I’m still alive and breathing in front of you. They made me whole again. I owe them my life.”
Hyunseung said nothing as Dongwoon looked at him pleadingly, “Now you know that, you understand now right? Why I can never betray them.”
--
When Chaerin arrived at her company’s building, Dara and Minji had stiffly greeted her, which is very perplexing in the same time worrying. She asked them what was wrong, only to be replied with a forced smile and that someone was waiting for her in her office. She didn’t bother to ask who was it because from how Dara and Minji reacted, maybe that person told them to keep as secret.
Is it Hyukjae oppa? she thought as she entered her office, only to be greeted by the sight of Sungmin.
“Chaerin-ah,” the older Lee called out, smiling as he walked towards Chaerin with his arms wide opened before enveloping the younger one into a hug.
“O-Oppa,” Chaerin exclaimed in surprise before stiffly responded to the hug, “Wh-What are you doing here?”
“I miss you,” Sungmin said as he pulled away, “I haven’t seen you for a while. Where have you been?”
Chaerin was struck at the question and she quickly gathered herself and smiled calmly, “I’m sorry oppa. I just have some businesses to take care of. You know how it’s like.”
Sungmin said nothing but he was smiling tenderly as he tucked a few strands of Chaerin’s brown hair behind her ear, “Is it hard?”
“I’m a bit tired, yes,” Chaerin smiled in assurance, “But I’ll be fine.”
The older Lee’s smile widened, “Of course you will,” he grabbed her hands, “Well, now that you’re here, why don’t we get something to eat?
--
“Do you have an important meeting?” Sungmin asked, seeing Chaerin was typing something on her phone.
“Hmm?’ Chaerin raised her brows when realization dawn on her, “Oh, no no. I’m just telling Dara unnie to cancel my schedules for the evening.”
Sungmin nodded slowly, “You still call her ‘unnie’?”
“Yeah, why?”
“It’s nothing, just…You’re the President of Lee Corporation now, the CEO, the owner. You ought to set a line between your workers.”
Chaerin realized what Sungmin meant and she looked down in guilt, “But I made sure to call her that when we’re alone.”
“But still,” Sungmin reprimands softly, “You can’t be too kind in business world, Chaerin. People will step on you if you keep it up. It’s always us against them. The only person you can trust is yourself and me. The same goes to me. The only person I can trust is myself and you.”
“Not even Ryeowook-ssi?”
“Not even Ryeowook,” Sungmin answered smoothly without breaking the eye-contact.
Chaerin was the one to look away first, because Sungmin’s words wind up her heart and weighed it with guilt. She fiddled with her wedding ring in hidden nervousness when Sungmin asked, “Are you hiding something from me, Chaerin?”
Her eyes darted to Sungmin at the sudden question and she swallowed, “Why?”
“You seem tensed and tired. You’re rarely in your office these days and it was hard for me to find you,” Sungmin stated, “What is it that you were hiding?”
Chaerin’s mind was scrambling for answers, for made up lies, but she was lacked with sleep and had trouble focusing. The indifferent mask was starting to crack and Chaerin was scared if Sungmin could read her mind. The older male had always known what’s running around that pretty head of hers.
“Are you fighting with Hyukjae?” Sungmin suddenly said and everything just stopped. She raised her brows at the statement, “What?”
“I know I’m not that accepting when you first date him, but he’s your husband now, so I thought I ought to accept him,” the older Lee expressed his thought with a shrug, “So, are you two fighting or something?”
It took Chaerin a minute to process what Sungmin said before a short laugh escaped her throat. She was glad that her brother finally accepts the man she loves, “No, no. It’s not that oppa. We’re fine. I’m happy. It’s just I’m so busy lately with the company. It’s nothing.”
Sungmin stared at her for a while, “Is that the truth.”
Chaerin nodded and Sungmin smiled softly. He raised his wine glass, Chaerin mirroring his moves and he clinks his glass to Chaerin’s, “Well then.”
“To the truth…And all its consequences.”
--
It was already 11 when Chaerin arrived at the Lee household. She was tired as hell and all she wants is to sleep on her comfortable bed and have Hyukjae rubs the pain off her feet. She was walking to the door of her mansion when she got a call from Donghae. She stopped to answer the call, “Donghae oppa?”
“Hey, Chaerin-ah.”
“Umm, what’s wrong oppa? Do you need something?” Chaerin asked lamely. It’s always her that called Donghae first and having the older one to call her made her stomach flipped in excitement and giddiness.
A soft chuckle comes from Donghae and Chaerin bloomed out a gentle smile, “It’s nothing, I’m just calling to ask if you will come here tonight.”
“Why?”
“No reason,” Donghae replied, “It’s just Kyuhyun is finally opening up and I thought maybe if you talk to him, he’ll remember more.”
Chaerin checked her watch and pouted slightly, “I don’t think I can oppa, it’ already late. I’m sorry.”
This time, a rumbling of laughter escaped Donghae’s throat and Chaerin wonders if something good happened today, “Why are you apologizing. It’s nothing, really. You can always come next time.”
“Yes oppa, I’ll come tomor-”
Her words were cut off when Hyukjae suddenly yanked her phone from her grip before ending the call without speaking a word to Donghae. Her eyes widened at the sudden behavior, “Hyukjae oppa, what are you doing?”
“Where have you been? For two days you didn’t come home. Not even a call or a message, did you know how worried I was!?”
As Chaerin gaped for answers, Hyukjae turned around and entered the house in frustration. She hurriedly followed her husband, “Wait, oppa-”
“When you said you’ll help Donghae, I thought it was okay because you’ve known him long but please, Chaerin. We’re not kids anymore. You’re married,” he hits his chest, “to me!!”
“I couldn’t sleep thinking what happened to you. I didn’t eat because I was wondering if you get enough meals. I tried my best to please you, give my support to whatever you did. But was it that hard to do the same for me!? I’m not even asking that much. All I want is you to stay safe, by my side. But you just disappeared without a notice and you came back smiling and talking with Donghae like nothing had happened!?”
Chaerin was rendered speechless at Hyukjae’s outburst. It was the first time for her to see Hyukjae gets all worked up and angry like this. In their relationship it’s always Chaerin the short-tempered one while Hyukjae is the calm one. He’s the sun of Chaerin’s empty sky, the moon of Chaerin’s night.
“Now, tell me Chaerin,” Hyukjae looked at her in desperation and Chaerin finally noticed the bloodshot eyes and eye bags and the unruly hair, “You have to choose. Me or Donghae.”
Chaerin wants to answer, she really does. It was at the tip of her tongue, begging to be let out but she didn’t have the strength, or the will to say it. So she stayed still, lips set into a thin line but her eyes reflect something akin to pleading. But Hyukjae didn’t catch the look in her eyes because he was blinded by his rage and depended solely on his hearings.
And when he didn’t hear the word, he left.
--
“You killed him. You take away my angel….I hate you. Don’t you ever show your face in front of me again.”
Chaerin wakes up with a start, her breath labored, heart pumping like she had been in a marathon. She wiped her sweat face and pulled back her messy hair when her mind registered that she’s only dreaming and she’s in the safe place of her house. She instinctively reached out beside her; Hyukjae’s warmth had always been the cure for her nightmares, only to have her palm touched by the coldness of the duvet.
She turned her head towards the empty spot and she remembers everything about last night. Hyukjae left. He left her because she was so careless. Because she took him for granted.
“He’s Hyukjae, my best buddy.”
Chaerin peered curiously at the other boy from behind Donghae. He was smiling, gums and teeth showing and Chaerin had to giggle at the look. Donghae looked at her with his brows raised, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she shook her head but still stifling her giggles behind her small palm, “Your friend looks funny.”
“What?” Hyukjae’s smile feel, a bit offended, “Did she say I’m ugly?”
Before Donghae could object, Chaerin had beat him to it, “No, no, no! Oppa is not ugly at all. It’s just that your smile is funny. But in a good way!” she quickly added.
“Oh, you mean like this?” Hyukjae grinned again, as wide as he could.
Chaerin giggled harder.
Chaerin’s eyes saddened at the memory. Hyukjae was right, they are not kids anymore, they’re grown adult, but does that means her friendship should also change? She massaged her temple tiredly when her head pounds heavily before a wave of nausea hit her. She rushed to the bathroom and bent over the toilet bowl. She massaged her chest, eyes shut and face contorted in pain.
She exhaled heavily when the nausea reduced and slump against the wall, it must be because of the lack of sleep, she thought, wiping her mouth. She decided to have Dara clears out her schedule for the morning so that she can see Donghae. The older male must be wondering what happened last night and she have to explain everything so that Donghae and Hyukjae’s friendship is not affected.
Using her leftover strength, Chaerin pushed herself up. Grown adult, she reminded herself, grown adult don’t run from problems.
--
Chaerin was breathing heavily right now. She already arrived at her old mansion but still couldn’t find the energy to get out of the car. All the way here she had been hit with waves of nausea and pounds in her head that her car swerves multiple times.
“What’s wrong with me…” she groaned, resting her head on the steering wheel when someone knocks on the window of her car. It was Donghae and Chaerin heaved a breath before pulling herself together and exited the car.
“Are you okay?” Donghae questioned when she’s out of the car, “You looked pale.”
“Yeah, I’m just-” her words died out when another wave of nausea hits her body and she fell when her head spin. Donghae caught her in time in alarm, “Chaerin!”
Mr. Park who noticed the commotion hurriedly went to the Lee heiress’ side, opting to carry her bridal style into the mansion. Since the only rooms that have a bed is the one Kuixian and Donghae current occupying, Mr. Park brought her to Kuixian’s room, since it’s the closest. Donghae went to the kitchen instead, pouring a glass of plain water for the female.
“What’s wrong with Chaerin?” Kuixian asked, looking alarmed as well.
“I don’t know,” the older male answered in worry before the two of them quickly went to Kuixian’s room.
“How is she?” Donghae asked as he entered the room with Kuixian. Mr. Park said nothing as he took the glass from Donghae’s hand and helped Chaerin to drink the water. The younger Lee was frowning before she pushed the glass away softly, “I can’t…I feel nauseous.”
Donghae shared worry glances with Kuixian, concerned with the younger female’s health. Mr. Park seems to be thinking of something before he asked, “Have you had your period for this month yet, miss?”
While Donghae and Kuixian appeared scandalize at the private question, Chaerin was unaffected, “Well… Now that you ask, no, not yet. And I’m late for five days already. Why?”
“It’s just my guess, but,” Mr. Park exited the room before coming back shortly after, holding a pregnancy test kit in his hands, “It’s better if you check if you’re pregnant or not.”
“P-Pregnant!?” Chaerin’s eyes were as wide as the saucers before she slowly took the kit from him. She looked up at him and the house steward motion to the bathroom in the room. She sighed and went to the bathroom, while the room suddenly fell into an awkward silent.
“You always keep that with you?” Donghae asked suspiciously, referring the pregnancy test kit, eyeing the house steward dubiously.
“I’m always ready for everything. For my masters,” Mr. Park answered coolly and Donghae decided not to poke his nose in his business.
Moments passed and Chaerin exited the bathroom, looking somewhere between anxious and excited,
“It was positive.”
--
“Are you worried about the baby?”
Chaerin broke out of her trance at Kuixian’s voice, “What?”
“The baby,” Kuixian repeated, “Are you worried?” He refers to the way the Lee heiress had been holding her stomach for a long time. Chaerin pulled out a smile and chuckled silently at the older male question.
“I don’t know. I’m happy that I have him but…it’s just…so many things are happening right now.”
“So you are worried,” Kuixian concluded.
“Yeah,” she smiled, “Maybe I am.”
Kuixian stared at the younger female. Donghae told him that Chaerin was only 21 when she got married and at the age of 23 she already hold the highest position in her family’s company. She was carrying a heavy burden on her small shoulders and Kuixian felt somewhat sorry for her.
Even right now, though she was bright and colorful outside; wearing a lavish bright red wool coat, white top, pants and heels, golden rings adorning her fingers and a pair of silver earrings, her chocolate eyes were dead and black. If despair has color, black would be it. There’s no trace of light in those orbs and Kuixian wants to know where the color had disappeared to. Does she drain out the color from her soul to please the eyes of people around her? Just like how she wears lavish clothes to hide the emptiness inside?
“Donghae told me that there’s a reason why you kept this mansion looking shabby. Is it related to your parents?” Kuixian carefully asked.
Chaerin looked up slowly and there’s that look of despair. Kuixian felt bad but he needs to know. He doesn’t know why, but he felt that he was obliged to know the story hidden.
“My parents died in this house when I was 13,” Chaerin started, voice fell to whisper as if she’s revealing a dirty, dark secret to the world, “They start a fire to kill my family. But my brother and I survived because my dad threw us out of the window.”
There was silence. A very heavy one. A very thick one; the one you could cut it with a knife. Chaerin didn’t seem to be affected that much, her façade calm and stoic as if she had been telling the same story over and over again.
“It must be hard,” Kuixian suddenly said and when Chaerin looks up, the older male was looking at her the same way Kyuhyun would. The eyes glistened with something so delicate that it made her feels vulnerable and not Lee Chaerin the heiress of Lee family, but Lee Chaerin the young girl who’s too young to know the horror and coldness the world has to give. It wasn’t sympathy nor pity, it’s pure concern and love and sorrow for her. It’s genuine and it moves her to tears.
She didn’t realize the drop of tears falling from her eyes until Kuixian reached out at the pad of his thumb flutters across her cheek, “You’re too young for this,” he says, voice as soft as the breeze, “It must be hard for you, isn’t it?”
And she cried. Salty tears burned down the path of her reddened cheeks and Kuixian finally sees the young, innocent 23-years-old lady who still has too much to learn about the world, who still needs the guidance and protection of her parents and brother, who still needs her friends to be her shoulder to cry on. He pulled her into his embrace, letting her cry her eyes out as he stroked her hair and patted her back in comforting manner.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, his own eyes closed at the sense of attachment towards the younger female.
“It’s all okay.”
“How did you know that?” Chaerin hiccupped against Kyuhyun’s chest, her small hands clutching the front of his shirt for dear life, “I-I lost them. My parents… How-How can I live and move on?”
“Because you have Sungmin hyung,” he comforted against her hair, “You have me, Donghae hyung, Hyukjae hyung and Heechul hyung. You have so many people around you that’ll help you to get through this.” Kyuhyun nuzzled the back of Chaerin’s head and patted her back softly in a slow tempo,
“We’ll get through this together.”
--
Today, it was Yunho who came to his room, but instead of bringing a tray of meal, he came with a piece of photo. He seems more approachable this time and Dongwoon found himself didn’t mind sitting face to face with him.
“I have a friend,” Yunho begins suddenly, “My best friend if you ask me. And one day he told me he was entranced with a new kid in his class. It was the first time I saw him so excited describing a person he just met but there’s this mirth in his tone and giddiness in his eyes so I thought, why not?”
“But then, when I see the two of them, there was something beautiful about them. It’s in the air around them and I soon learned it was love. I’ve never seen my friend looks so bright and happy, considering he’s always a bright child.”
A small smile tugged on Yunho’s lips, “My friend, just love this person. He loves him with all his heart, mind, body and soul. He would do anything and goes for any distance for him. He can go to the extent that he would trade his soul for his beloved’s happiness.”
Yunho looked at the photo in his hands and his eyes were warm and kind. He placed the photo on the coffee table and slides it towards Dongwoon for him to see. The younger doctor glanced at the photo and his breath hitched seeing Kuixian in the photo, smiling widely with an unknown man beside him, who’s also wearing identical grin on his face.
“I need you to tell me what happened three years ago,” Yunho looked at him beseechingly and Dongwoon managed a shaky sigh.
“Three years ago was the year when I became a doctor. It was my first automobile accident case and when I got the call the victim is very critical,” Dongwoon started, his grieving eyes downcast, “He sustained many injuries including 11 fractured vertebrae, 7 fractured ribs, lung contusions, fluid in the lungs and also a small pericardial effusion amongst many abrasions and bruising. We tried so hard to save him but to be honest, I thought he wouldn’t be able to make it since his injuries are severe.”
“And I guessed right, the impact of his chest hitting the steering wheel was very serious that it caused a congestive heart failure. We had to put him on machine to help him staying alive until we had a matched donor.”
“And who is this patient?” Yunho asked, though he probably known the answer.
Dongwoon had a momentary pause before he looked up, “The man you’re looking for.”
“Cho Kyuhyun.”
--
Roar of frustration and rage escaped Sungmin’s throat as he hauled his chair and slammed it on the table, breaking it into half. His room was messy with scattered papers, broken glasses and torn couches. Ryeowook was standing at the corner of the room, face stoic and stance straight as he watched his master threw a tantrum.
“I am so angry, Ryeowook,” Sungmin bellowed, “I. Gave. Her. A. Chance. To. Tell. The. Truth!” he slammed on the glass window with every word, “But she fucking lied to my face!!”
“You have to calm down, sir,” Ryeowook said instead, “You have to take care of your health.”
Sungmin yanked his hair in aggravation before he let his body fall onto the torn up couch, cradling his aching head in his hands. Ryeowook calmly walked towards him and handed him a bottle of pills. He took it but made no attempt to eat them. He stared at the small bottle before holding it in a tight grip.
“You know what I’m going to do, Ryeowook?”
Ryeowook said nothing. Only because he already knows.
“I’m gonna take Kyuhyun back.”
--
That night, Kuixian dreams of balmy day in June, of white fluffy clouds and blue skies, of soft breeze and chocolate ice cream. He dreams he was a high school student, sauntering down the bridge while licking up the melting ice cream.
It was then another hand reached out to him and intertwined their fingers together. He looked down at the interlocked fingers and smiled at the owner of the hand, “Hey, hyung.”
It was Donghae, looking younger than he was, smiling so wide that it was almost as blinding as the sun, “Hey, Kyu.”
His smile widened at the nickname he was so fond at, inching closer and rested his head on the older one’s shoulder, “We should go to the ocean next time.”
Donghae nuzzled his hair, “Yes, of course.”
Kuixian gasped as he woke up from his dream, his breath came out in heavy pants. It was a moment of clarity; the fog in his mind slowly dissipates by the wind. He looked around him frantically before rushing out of his room. His steps grew faster as one by one flash of images appeared in his head before he stopped in front of Donghae’s room.
He raised shaky hand, but confidently knocked on the wooden door. A pause. And he knocked again, louder, faster. A pause and his ears caught the shuffling of Donghae’s feet as he walked towards the door. His heart was pumping in his chest, clawing on his throat, begging to be let out but he hold it in, not yet.
The door was opened and there was Donghae, hair messy and eyes widened the slightest. Under the moonlight shine, Donghae looks young, younger than he was, just like in the dream.
He remembers now, he remembers everything. Not exactly everything but he remembers enough to let go of his control and grabbed Donghae by his collar and pulled him into a kiss.
a/n: /THROWS 19-PAGE LONG OF UPDATE BECAUSE I’VE BEEN A SLOTH AUTHOR/
i’m sorry for this late update, it’s just i’ve been busy with work lately (i need to save up my money for winner’s debut and big bang possible update god please papa yg ;-;) and i just want to assure all of you again that i will NEVER discontinue this fic. i’ve already plan on how the ending would be and i can tell you that there are about 7-8 chapters left ^^
all i can say is get ready for a rollercoaster ride of feels~~~ lmao
and sorry if this chapter is more on chaerin instead of kyuhae. it’s just chae is the bridge(?) between kyuhae and sungmin. so her pov is very much important :3
comments make me really, really happy <3
Author: imaginarybulb
Pairing(s): Kyuhyun/Donghae, Kyuhyun/ZhouMi, Kyuhyun/Sungmin (yes, Kyuhyun is loved by three men >.<), Chaerin/Hyukjae, more pairings will be revealed in upcoming chapters
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Summary:
I love you,
Even if the world is shaking,
Even if the sky is falling,
Even if the ground is breaking,
Even if I was left alone,
Even if you leave,
Even if he's there,
Even if that beautiful smile isn't mine anymore
-Oh tonight again, tonight again, her-
“Jungsu oppa…he’s looking for you.”
Donghae frowned, “Why?”
“I overheard that um…Kuixian-ssi’s…” Chaerin started, she told Donghae she prefers to call Kuixian by his name instead of Kyuhyun since she was not sure if the Chinese male is the Kyuhyun she knew, “…fiancé hired him to search for him. It seems like he got the information that you were involved.”
“Damn it…” Donghae raked is fingers over his messy hair. He suspects Heechul might tell Jungsu something since the Kim heir warned him about getting caught. He sighed heavily and Chaerin felt terrible seeing Donghae’s face looked even more tired and older than his real age.
“Oppa…” she called out, placing gentle hand on Donghae’s tensed shoulder, “I have an idea.”
Chaerin looked around her surroundings. The inside of the mansion was almost the same as the ways she remembers it and she was filled with the sense of nostalgic. She let out a small smile that was laced with bitterness as she trailed her fingers alone the line of the couch, her mind wanders off to the past.
“Umma, appa, I had so much today! The teacher said my ducksnake drawing is pretty! My friends also said the same thing! They told me they like the drawing!”
“Really? Can umma and appa see it?”
“Okay!”
She then averted her eyes to the staircase, her smile grew a little wider, a little fonder at the memories that were rushing through her mind.
“Oppa!! Wait for me!!”
“Chaerin-ah, don’t run down the stairs! You’ll fall!”
“But you won’t wait for me!”
“Fine, fine. I’ll wait, okay? Don’t run.”
Chaerin bit her bottom lip and quickly cuts her eyes away when she felt a stung behind her eyes. She sniffed and try to look somewhere else, somewhere that won’t remind her of the past she lost. But everything around her reminded her of the happy memories that she once had. Everything had changed and those memories only bring her pain and reminded her of the people she lost.
“What are you drawing, Chaerin-ah?”
“Our family.”
“You mean, that’s us? We looked like animals!”
“Of course! This is me, I have cat ears. And this oppa with bunny ears. Cute, right?”
“Aish… You and your imagination.”
“Ehe… Oppa, we will stay together right? With umma and appa and oppa and me.”
“Of course, Chaerin-ah.”
Chaerin quickly shuts her eyes tight when the bad memories threatened to loom her mind. She doesn’t want to be reminded of the rotten part of the past. She had grown to be strong, she doesn’t need the past to ruin her again.
“Chaerin-ah…”
The Lee heiress snapped her head towards Donghae, a forced smile spread on her face, “Yes oppa?”
“Thank you for letting us stay here,” Donghae stepped down the stairs with a grateful smile, “I owe you one.”
“You didn’t owe me,” Chaerin said, I’m the who’s in debt with you, she thinks, “How is he?” she asked instead, referring to Kuixian.
“He was confused, but didn’t object much.”
“Maybe he was opening up to you.”
Donghae smiled at her comment, the kind of smile that he would always wear during their young days; the sweet and cheerful smile, the one that is infectious. So Chaerin smiled back, her mind off the hated past.
The older male’s eyes then wandered around him, “This mansion is still standing, huh?”
Chaerin’s eyes follow him, looking at every inch of the main hall. There used to be family portraits hanging off the golden wall but all of them didn’t survive the accident that had happened. There are still patches of black burnt stains on some part of the walls and there are no furniture or cabinets. The bed in the room Kuixian was staying was bought beforehand, and so does the one in the room Donghae would be staying. The mansion originally a place similar to a haunted house, but this is the safest place Chaerin could think off.
“Sungmin oppa paid for the maintenance after our parents’ death. Memories, he said.”
“But why don’t you go all the way through?” Donghae asked, referring to the chapped walls and dull paint.
“He didn’t want to. If we were to fix this place like it used to we will be incline to stay here. And…that’s not something I want to either.”
Donghae said nothing, knowing very well of the younger’s unspeakable pain. The only sense of comfort he can give Chaerin is a warm hug because he knew that whatever words or assurance coming from him won’t be able to change the past.
“Poor children. They’re too young to lose their parents. In such a horrible way, too.”
--
“We’re moving?”
Donghae nodded as he pulled out a suitcase and begin to fold all the clothes in the closet. Kuixian sat on the bed beside Donghae, watching the older male. Lately he hadn’t feel jumpy or uncomfortable being in a close proximity with Donghae and he figures the older male must be delighted with the change in his behavior by the way he is all smile when Kuixian is close.
“Why?”
“It’s Chaerin’s old mansion,” Donghae answered, “I thought maybe you can remember more considering you spent a lot of time there when you were younger.”
Kuixian nodded to himself in understanding fashion. He’s not admitting that he is Kyuhyun, but he can’t just ignore all the dreams-slash-memories that had been bugging his mind. Right now, he’s neither admitting nor denying, he just wants to find the truth.
Kuixian turned away from the large window when Donghae entered his current room. He noticed that behind Donghae’s wide smiles and cheerful laughter, his eye-bags are prominent and his handsome face was touched with the sign of aging. He knew Donghae was tired, that he was carrying a very heavy burden on his shoulders, but Kuixian didn’t think he should share the burden yet. He still has a long way in finding his true-self.
“Do you want me to make you breakfast? You haven’t had anything.”
So are you, Kuixian thought, “Sure. But make one for you too. You looked tired.”
There’s that look again. That pure mirth radiating from his face as he smiles widely, “Okay then. I will. Um…Are you comfortable here?”
“Yeah,” Kuixian walked to his bed, “I’m fine. But, I’m wondering why the mansion looked so unkempt?”
Donghae’s face fell, just the slightest, “There’s a history about this mansion. But I don’t think I’m in place to tell you that. You have to ask Chaerin.”
Kuixian said nothing, but noted on his mind that he’ll ask the Lee heiress the next time she drops by.
--
“All done, Miss Chaerin?”
Chaerin smiled at the house steward, Park Hongjun as she walked down the pavement. Mr. Park had been the head butler of Lee household even before the time Chaerin or her brother was born. The older male loyalty to her family is undeniable from the way he stayed even after her parents’ death. Chaerin sees him as a father figure, someone she respects, and someone she trusts more than herself.
“Thank you for taking care of the place,” she said sincerely, which the older male replied with a short nod and smile.
“My pleasure, miss. I’ve done it the exact way you told me to.”
“Just enough for it to stand still,” Chaerin continued softly, remembering the exact words she told Mr. Park the day she moved out. The reason why she and Sungmin decided to keep the mansion is solely because of the memories they made with their parents. The good ‘ol days, they said. But they are also careful to keep it only as a memories holder, nothing more. That’s why she told Mr. Park to quit the excessive cleaning on the mansion.
“Please take care of them for me,” Chaerin started, referring to Donghae and Kuixian, “They are very important guests.”
“I will, miss,” the house steward assured, “And don’t worry about your brother.”
Chaerin smiled and turned her head to the old mansion; even after all these years, her heart still tugs at the sight of what once used to be a magnificent building, the fruit of her father’s thought, the touch of her mother’s creativity.
But all is left as memories.
--
“So, you’re saying Donghae had that kid with him?”
Jungsu nodded softly and Youngwoon groaned in frustration as he raked his fingers over his already messy hair. He couldn’t believe the guy he thought as his own brother is involved in a kidnapping and why it took Jungsu this long to tell him.
“Then what now?” he asked in exasperation, “Are they going to charge him with kidnapping or something? Did they know about this at all?”
“First of all, that depends on the client,” Jungsu answered calmly, “But you know the reason why people came to us is because they don’t want to involve the police. Second, yes, they know it’s Donghae and they’re on their way to our office.”
“Oh my God,” Youngwoon exclaimed and his body collapsed on the chair, “This is just too much. Donghae isn’t supposed to know.”
“But he did, and that’s no one’s fault.”
Youngwoon let out a sigh when Minho suddenly knocked on the door, “Hyung, someone wants to meet you.”
“Who-” Jungsu’s words died out when Chaerin stepped into the office, “Chaerin?” Both him and Youngwoon stood up in instant at the sight of the young Lee heiress. It’s been years since they last saw each other, that’s why it was a surprise seeing her.
However, it doesn’t seems to be a surprise for Chaerin when she only smiles silently and thanked Minho for his assistance. The male excused himself and Chaerin walked towards the two older males, “Nice to see you again Jungsu oppa, Youngwoon oppa.”
While Jungsu only nodded, Youngwoon asked, “What brings you here, Chaerin?”
The Lee heiress sat on the chair next to Youngwoon, “I have a favor to ask.”
“Anything,” Jungsu sat down while Youngwoon prefers to stand up with his eyes on Chaerin in mild suspicion. It’s not like the younger one’s visit is unwelcomed, but it’s been years and Chaerin coming here while they are discussing about Donghae and the kidnapping case would be too suspicious to be called as a coincidence. He knows how close Chaerin and Donghae were.
“What can I do?” Jungsu flashed his dimple smile before it falls just the slightest when he noticed Chaerin’s eyes flickered from the case files on his desk and a knowing smile formed on her face. Years of being a private investigator thought him to catch all these micro expressions but he prefers to play calm and not jumping to conclusion.
Chaerin said nothing as she took out a thick envelope from her handbag and placed it on the desk. Youngwoon took the envelope and inspected the content when his eyes widened, “It’s money, hyung. A lot of money.”
Jungsu looked at Chaerin questioningly while the younger simply said, “If it’s not enough, I’m willing to give more.”
“What’s this for?”
“I know it was hard to run the business. This can help you in the long run. You don’t have to worry about not paying the bills or closing up the business.”
“Thank you for your concern but we’re doing fine now,” Youngwoon said, placing the envelope back on the desk, his tone offended. Chaerin is his friend, yes, but he prefers to earn money by himself, not asking for his friends’ help.
“I know living off being a private investigator is hard. It’s not like people will come in everyday asking for your help,” Chaerin stated without looking at Youngwoon, “And I see you’ve hired a few people, don’t you think it’s unfair for them?”
“What do you want?” Jungsu asked straight to the point.
“A small, simple favor,” Chaerin smiled, “Leave Donghae oppa alone.”
While Jungsu appears calm and as if he had expected this, Youngwoon was baffled, “So you knew!?”
“Whether if I know or not and how do I know it is not something I want to discuss right now,” Chaerin’s tone was flat and business-like, “I just want to know if you agree to my favor.”
“Chaerin, you and I know that person is not Kyuhyun,” Jungsu stated.
“Yeah, and if you’re doing this because you felt guilty for what happened then don’t. Don’t do this, Chaerin. Don’t let your unnecessary guilt blinding your judgment-”
“Yes, I’m doing this out of guilt,” Chaerin cuts Youngwoon’s words off, her tone wavered and rough. She looked up at Youngwoon and the older male was taken aback at the glistening and defiant look of her eyes, “So what? Why is that wrong? What’s wrong with me trying to do my best to make up for all the misery I had caused on Donghae oppa?”
Youngwoon was rendered speechless while Chaerin tried so hard to keep her body from trembling and breaking down. She gathered herself and looked at Jungsu, “So I hope you’ll accept my offer. And about Kuixian-ssi, don’t worry about him. I know Donghae oppa. He wouldn’t hurt anyone. Especially him.”
Without letting the older male comes back with a reply or objection, Chaerin stood up and gave them a curt bow before turning and walking towards the door.
“Wait,” Jungsu stopped her and when she turned around, the older male took the envelope and walked towards her direction. He sighed and grabbed her hand before placing the envelope on her palm, “I can’t do that, Chaerin. You knew that. Yes, we’re hard on money but you know the reason I did this job, right?”
Chaerin said nothing but Jungsu figured she understood. The Lee heiress sighed heavily, “Fine,” she pushed back the envelope onto Jungsu’s hands, “But take the money. As a gift from me.”
While Jungsu scrambled for a reply, Chaerin walked out, smiling shortly towards Minho, Jonghyun and Donghee, which they reply with the same gesture, saving Jonghyun with excessive waving and excited grin.
When Chaerin exited the building, Zhou Mi, Auntie Yuki and Victoria stepped out of their car parked in front of the building. As the Chinese male rushed inside, he glanced towards Chaerin, a bit surprised when she did the same. Maybe the time had slowed down, which Zhou Mi thinks is impossible, but he felt the eye contact he made with the unknown female was very long.
“Whose picture is this?” Zhou Mi questioned as he picks up a Polaroid from the floor of his café. It was a photo of a couple and he had to admit the girl in the picture had a very cute eye-smile.
“Oh, there it is,” a voice said and when Zhou Mi turned around, an unknown guy smiled at him, all gums and teeth as he pointed to the Polaroid in his hand, “Thanks, that’s mine.”
“Oh…” Zhou Mi gave him the Polaroid, which he took with a grateful smile. The male bowed shortly to him before he jogged out of the café.
Geng gege’s friend, huh, Zhou Mi noted before shrugging and continued his work.
Like in the Cinderella’s fairytale, when the clock strikes 12, all magic is broken; that’s how the time went back to normal and their gaze broke when Chaerin looked away first. But Zhou Mi’s eyes were still on her, trying to figure out why she looks so familiar.
“What’s wrong?” Victoria asked, noticing the frown on his face.
Zhou Mi jumped from his trance, “Huh? Uh…” he paused before shaking his head off the thoughts, “It’s nothing.”
Victoria shrugged, decided to let it slide. Furthermore, they have something even more important to think about. Zhou Mi got a call from Jungsu last night, saying that he found out about Kuixian’s kidnapper and his possible whereabouts. The male was the most delighted one, he was too ecstatic and relieved that he cried out in happiness.
“Chaerin-”
Their steps stopped when they bumped into Jungsu on their way to his office. The private investigator had his eyes wide opened, surprised at the sight of his client, “Zhou Mi-ssi.”
“What’s wrong?” Zhou Mi asked, a hint of anxiety in his voice. Is there something wrong with Kuixian? What happened to him?
“Oh… N-Nothing,” Jungsu hid the envelope in his hands behind his back, “I’m surprised you’re early.”
“You got something on Kuixian?” the Chinese male questioned hurriedly, “Where is he now? Is he safe?”
“Yes,” Jungsu answered, his stance more composed, “I found the person who harassed Kuixian-ssi. I figure he had Kuixian-ssi with him now. Are you ready to go now?”
Zhou Mi didn’t wait a second to nod in confident, “I’m ready.”
--
“Did you know why that person took Kuixian away?” Victoria asked while they were in their way to Donghae’s place. Zhou Mi, Victoria and Hangeng decided to ride with Jungsu while Youngwoon is with Auntie Yuki and Henry.
Jungsu paused for a moment, deciding whether it was a good idea to tell the truth. But considering they’ll find out sooner or later, he answered, “Kuixian-ssi looked like his past lover.”
Zhou Mi’s head snapped towards Jungsu, his eyes widened and the blood drained from his body as tremor of fear shook his body. Jungsu didn’t notice though, since his eyes were on the road all the time. But Hangeng saw the change.
“H-His past lover?” he managed out shakily.
“Yeah…Umm, his…lover died in a car crash three years ago,” Jungsu stated and Zhou Mi had to hold on to the dashboard to stop himself from collapsing.
“Three years ago… That’s the same as Kuixian’s accident too,” Victoria noted absentmindedly.
“Yeah,” Jungsu’s eyes flickered towards Victoria through the rearview mirror for a short millisecond before he glanced at Zhou Mi, “Are you okay, Zhou Mi-ssi? You looked pale.”
“Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” Zhou Mi leaned back with a sigh and felt Victoria placing her palm on his forehead, “You haven’t eaten breakfast, that’s why.”
“Yeah,” he let out a forced smile, “I’m just excited.” He turned his head to the scenery outside, not missing the knowing look Hangeng sent him.
--
When they finally arrived, Zhou Mi didn’t wait for even a second to step out of the car and come running towards the door of the manor. Jungsu was taken aback at how desperate Zhou Mi look even from behind; as he pushed open the door and calling out Kuixian’s name repeatedly. While Jungsu tried to formulate a reason why the manor seemed empty, Zhou Mi had already run up the stairs with Hangeng following behind.
“Kuixian!” Zhou Mi swung open the door, hoping to see Kuixian standing by the window, smiling towards him as the golden rays of the sun illuminates his figures, making him look even more ethereal then he’s originally was.
“Mi gege.”
But instead, he was greeted with the biting cold of emptiness. He took shaky steps towards the bed in the room, before his legs given in and collapsing him onto the carpeted floor. He placed his palm over the duvet, feeling every inch of the soft material and tears fall from his eyes at the fleeting warmth against his palm.
“Have you found him?” Victoria asked as she stopped by the door beside Hangeng, only to be disappointed by the heartbreaking sight.
“He was here,” Zhou Mi whispered out, “He was here.”
Jungsu walked away from the sight in silent when he came across Youngwoon, “They’re not here, aren’t they?”
The older one shook his head and he suddenly remembers about Chaerin’s request.
“Leave Donghae oppa alone.”
“Chaerin,” he concluded and massaged the back of his neck in tiredness.
“But it couldn’t be her. We met her just now. And beside, we would’ve bumped into him on our way here.”
“That means she already knew that we’re looking for Donghae before she came to us,” Jungsu said, “She must’ve overheard me and Heechul yesterday.”
“What now?” Youngwoon asked, worry scrawled all over his face.
Jungsu’s mind flashback to how Zhou Mi desperately searches for Kuixian and the tears he shed for his beloved, “We continue searching.”
And somewhere in Seoul, Chaerin let out a sigh of relieve as her body relaxed against the leather seat of her car.
--
“Dongwoon, from now on you can forget everything that happened in your past. Forget everything and start fresh. I’m here and I promise you a better future for you. Just look forward and never weigh your mind with the past, okay?”
Dongwoon opened his eyes when Hyunseung entered his room, a tray of meal in his hands. The older one placed it on the coffee table as Dongwoon walked towards him, “How long do you intend to keep me here?”
Hyunseung looked at him before sighing silently and sat down. He gestured the young doctor to take a seat, which he complied to. It seems like Hyunseung is the only person in the household that Dongwoon is comfortable with, maybe that’s why Yunho send him instead of Junhyung.
“Dongwoon-ah,” Hyunseung started, “I know you want to go back to your home. But you have to understand the reason why we brought you here in the first place.”
“I don’t think I can understand someone who betrayed my trust,” he replied tonelessly, bleak eyes darted to his bandaged arm. He had been haunted by the past and anxiety that he scratched his arms until it bleeds.
“We need your help,” Hyunseung begged, “You’re the only one we can count on.”
Dongwoon said nothing but his jaws tightened. He heaved out a sigh and looked into Hyunseung’s eyes, “Do you know about my childhood?”
Hyunseung said nothing and Dongwoon guessed he might known only the gist of it and not the entire story. So he continued, “Ever since I was born, my life had been a living hell. My dad thinks my mom is a punching bag and I got away from his beating only because my mom took the hits for me.”
“But that changes. When my mom’s body just couldn’t take another beating and decided to give up. I was seven,” he looked at Hyunseung with hidden rage, “I was seven and when other seven-years-old had their father take them to the amusement park, I got my dad punching my guts.”
“That’s why I excel in my education. I tried so hard to be the best, I skipped grade, got first place in everything because I thought, maybe he hated me because I was useless-maybe, if I can excel then he would be proud of me and stop beating me.”
A sinister chuckle and a drop of tears fell, “But it doesn’t stop, you know. It get worse as I grow up. It’s-It’s almost to the point I’m just immune to every punches and kicks. It doesn’t hurt during the beating, it’s the aftereffects, when I’m just sitting in the bath tub tending every bruises and wounds and cuts. That’s when it hurt. Here,” he fisted his chest, “The thought of being lonely and unloved hurt me more than the physical abuse.”
He wiped the tears and exhaled shakily, “When I was 13-maybe he needs money, maybe he lost in gambling but I don’t know, he never tells me. But what I know is, when I was 13, he sold me to an exclusive club his friend owns.”
Hyunseung’s eyes widened in shock at Dongwoon’s confession, “You mean…”
“When other teenagers learned about smoking, I learned about blowjobs. When they fall in love and got heartbroken of one-sided love, I satisfy men’s desire and crushed like a piece of trash. For three years, my life had been nothing but filth and pain and shattered hopes and dreams.”
“But when I was 16, that was when I found Auntie Yuki,” Dongwoon sniffed, “She helped me run away from my dad, my life, everything. She took me under her wings and took care of me like I’m the most precious jewel. I feel loved.”
“That’s when I meet Zhou Mi. He accepted me like his own brother, never once looking at me in disgust or judging me for my past. They’re the reason why I’m still here, Hyunseung hyung. They’re the reason why I’m still alive and breathing in front of you. They made me whole again. I owe them my life.”
Hyunseung said nothing as Dongwoon looked at him pleadingly, “Now you know that, you understand now right? Why I can never betray them.”
--
When Chaerin arrived at her company’s building, Dara and Minji had stiffly greeted her, which is very perplexing in the same time worrying. She asked them what was wrong, only to be replied with a forced smile and that someone was waiting for her in her office. She didn’t bother to ask who was it because from how Dara and Minji reacted, maybe that person told them to keep as secret.
Is it Hyukjae oppa? she thought as she entered her office, only to be greeted by the sight of Sungmin.
“Chaerin-ah,” the older Lee called out, smiling as he walked towards Chaerin with his arms wide opened before enveloping the younger one into a hug.
“O-Oppa,” Chaerin exclaimed in surprise before stiffly responded to the hug, “Wh-What are you doing here?”
“I miss you,” Sungmin said as he pulled away, “I haven’t seen you for a while. Where have you been?”
Chaerin was struck at the question and she quickly gathered herself and smiled calmly, “I’m sorry oppa. I just have some businesses to take care of. You know how it’s like.”
Sungmin said nothing but he was smiling tenderly as he tucked a few strands of Chaerin’s brown hair behind her ear, “Is it hard?”
“I’m a bit tired, yes,” Chaerin smiled in assurance, “But I’ll be fine.”
The older Lee’s smile widened, “Of course you will,” he grabbed her hands, “Well, now that you’re here, why don’t we get something to eat?
--
“Do you have an important meeting?” Sungmin asked, seeing Chaerin was typing something on her phone.
“Hmm?’ Chaerin raised her brows when realization dawn on her, “Oh, no no. I’m just telling Dara unnie to cancel my schedules for the evening.”
Sungmin nodded slowly, “You still call her ‘unnie’?”
“Yeah, why?”
“It’s nothing, just…You’re the President of Lee Corporation now, the CEO, the owner. You ought to set a line between your workers.”
Chaerin realized what Sungmin meant and she looked down in guilt, “But I made sure to call her that when we’re alone.”
“But still,” Sungmin reprimands softly, “You can’t be too kind in business world, Chaerin. People will step on you if you keep it up. It’s always us against them. The only person you can trust is yourself and me. The same goes to me. The only person I can trust is myself and you.”
“Not even Ryeowook-ssi?”
“Not even Ryeowook,” Sungmin answered smoothly without breaking the eye-contact.
Chaerin was the one to look away first, because Sungmin’s words wind up her heart and weighed it with guilt. She fiddled with her wedding ring in hidden nervousness when Sungmin asked, “Are you hiding something from me, Chaerin?”
Her eyes darted to Sungmin at the sudden question and she swallowed, “Why?”
“You seem tensed and tired. You’re rarely in your office these days and it was hard for me to find you,” Sungmin stated, “What is it that you were hiding?”
Chaerin’s mind was scrambling for answers, for made up lies, but she was lacked with sleep and had trouble focusing. The indifferent mask was starting to crack and Chaerin was scared if Sungmin could read her mind. The older male had always known what’s running around that pretty head of hers.
“Are you fighting with Hyukjae?” Sungmin suddenly said and everything just stopped. She raised her brows at the statement, “What?”
“I know I’m not that accepting when you first date him, but he’s your husband now, so I thought I ought to accept him,” the older Lee expressed his thought with a shrug, “So, are you two fighting or something?”
It took Chaerin a minute to process what Sungmin said before a short laugh escaped her throat. She was glad that her brother finally accepts the man she loves, “No, no. It’s not that oppa. We’re fine. I’m happy. It’s just I’m so busy lately with the company. It’s nothing.”
Sungmin stared at her for a while, “Is that the truth.”
Chaerin nodded and Sungmin smiled softly. He raised his wine glass, Chaerin mirroring his moves and he clinks his glass to Chaerin’s, “Well then.”
“To the truth…And all its consequences.”
--
It was already 11 when Chaerin arrived at the Lee household. She was tired as hell and all she wants is to sleep on her comfortable bed and have Hyukjae rubs the pain off her feet. She was walking to the door of her mansion when she got a call from Donghae. She stopped to answer the call, “Donghae oppa?”
“Hey, Chaerin-ah.”
“Umm, what’s wrong oppa? Do you need something?” Chaerin asked lamely. It’s always her that called Donghae first and having the older one to call her made her stomach flipped in excitement and giddiness.
A soft chuckle comes from Donghae and Chaerin bloomed out a gentle smile, “It’s nothing, I’m just calling to ask if you will come here tonight.”
“Why?”
“No reason,” Donghae replied, “It’s just Kyuhyun is finally opening up and I thought maybe if you talk to him, he’ll remember more.”
Chaerin checked her watch and pouted slightly, “I don’t think I can oppa, it’ already late. I’m sorry.”
This time, a rumbling of laughter escaped Donghae’s throat and Chaerin wonders if something good happened today, “Why are you apologizing. It’s nothing, really. You can always come next time.”
“Yes oppa, I’ll come tomor-”
Her words were cut off when Hyukjae suddenly yanked her phone from her grip before ending the call without speaking a word to Donghae. Her eyes widened at the sudden behavior, “Hyukjae oppa, what are you doing?”
“Where have you been? For two days you didn’t come home. Not even a call or a message, did you know how worried I was!?”
As Chaerin gaped for answers, Hyukjae turned around and entered the house in frustration. She hurriedly followed her husband, “Wait, oppa-”
“When you said you’ll help Donghae, I thought it was okay because you’ve known him long but please, Chaerin. We’re not kids anymore. You’re married,” he hits his chest, “to me!!”
“I couldn’t sleep thinking what happened to you. I didn’t eat because I was wondering if you get enough meals. I tried my best to please you, give my support to whatever you did. But was it that hard to do the same for me!? I’m not even asking that much. All I want is you to stay safe, by my side. But you just disappeared without a notice and you came back smiling and talking with Donghae like nothing had happened!?”
Chaerin was rendered speechless at Hyukjae’s outburst. It was the first time for her to see Hyukjae gets all worked up and angry like this. In their relationship it’s always Chaerin the short-tempered one while Hyukjae is the calm one. He’s the sun of Chaerin’s empty sky, the moon of Chaerin’s night.
“Now, tell me Chaerin,” Hyukjae looked at her in desperation and Chaerin finally noticed the bloodshot eyes and eye bags and the unruly hair, “You have to choose. Me or Donghae.”
Chaerin wants to answer, she really does. It was at the tip of her tongue, begging to be let out but she didn’t have the strength, or the will to say it. So she stayed still, lips set into a thin line but her eyes reflect something akin to pleading. But Hyukjae didn’t catch the look in her eyes because he was blinded by his rage and depended solely on his hearings.
And when he didn’t hear the word, he left.
--
“You killed him. You take away my angel….I hate you. Don’t you ever show your face in front of me again.”
Chaerin wakes up with a start, her breath labored, heart pumping like she had been in a marathon. She wiped her sweat face and pulled back her messy hair when her mind registered that she’s only dreaming and she’s in the safe place of her house. She instinctively reached out beside her; Hyukjae’s warmth had always been the cure for her nightmares, only to have her palm touched by the coldness of the duvet.
She turned her head towards the empty spot and she remembers everything about last night. Hyukjae left. He left her because she was so careless. Because she took him for granted.
“He’s Hyukjae, my best buddy.”
Chaerin peered curiously at the other boy from behind Donghae. He was smiling, gums and teeth showing and Chaerin had to giggle at the look. Donghae looked at her with his brows raised, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she shook her head but still stifling her giggles behind her small palm, “Your friend looks funny.”
“What?” Hyukjae’s smile feel, a bit offended, “Did she say I’m ugly?”
Before Donghae could object, Chaerin had beat him to it, “No, no, no! Oppa is not ugly at all. It’s just that your smile is funny. But in a good way!” she quickly added.
“Oh, you mean like this?” Hyukjae grinned again, as wide as he could.
Chaerin giggled harder.
Chaerin’s eyes saddened at the memory. Hyukjae was right, they are not kids anymore, they’re grown adult, but does that means her friendship should also change? She massaged her temple tiredly when her head pounds heavily before a wave of nausea hit her. She rushed to the bathroom and bent over the toilet bowl. She massaged her chest, eyes shut and face contorted in pain.
She exhaled heavily when the nausea reduced and slump against the wall, it must be because of the lack of sleep, she thought, wiping her mouth. She decided to have Dara clears out her schedule for the morning so that she can see Donghae. The older male must be wondering what happened last night and she have to explain everything so that Donghae and Hyukjae’s friendship is not affected.
Using her leftover strength, Chaerin pushed herself up. Grown adult, she reminded herself, grown adult don’t run from problems.
--
Chaerin was breathing heavily right now. She already arrived at her old mansion but still couldn’t find the energy to get out of the car. All the way here she had been hit with waves of nausea and pounds in her head that her car swerves multiple times.
“What’s wrong with me…” she groaned, resting her head on the steering wheel when someone knocks on the window of her car. It was Donghae and Chaerin heaved a breath before pulling herself together and exited the car.
“Are you okay?” Donghae questioned when she’s out of the car, “You looked pale.”
“Yeah, I’m just-” her words died out when another wave of nausea hits her body and she fell when her head spin. Donghae caught her in time in alarm, “Chaerin!”
Mr. Park who noticed the commotion hurriedly went to the Lee heiress’ side, opting to carry her bridal style into the mansion. Since the only rooms that have a bed is the one Kuixian and Donghae current occupying, Mr. Park brought her to Kuixian’s room, since it’s the closest. Donghae went to the kitchen instead, pouring a glass of plain water for the female.
“What’s wrong with Chaerin?” Kuixian asked, looking alarmed as well.
“I don’t know,” the older male answered in worry before the two of them quickly went to Kuixian’s room.
“How is she?” Donghae asked as he entered the room with Kuixian. Mr. Park said nothing as he took the glass from Donghae’s hand and helped Chaerin to drink the water. The younger Lee was frowning before she pushed the glass away softly, “I can’t…I feel nauseous.”
Donghae shared worry glances with Kuixian, concerned with the younger female’s health. Mr. Park seems to be thinking of something before he asked, “Have you had your period for this month yet, miss?”
While Donghae and Kuixian appeared scandalize at the private question, Chaerin was unaffected, “Well… Now that you ask, no, not yet. And I’m late for five days already. Why?”
“It’s just my guess, but,” Mr. Park exited the room before coming back shortly after, holding a pregnancy test kit in his hands, “It’s better if you check if you’re pregnant or not.”
“P-Pregnant!?” Chaerin’s eyes were as wide as the saucers before she slowly took the kit from him. She looked up at him and the house steward motion to the bathroom in the room. She sighed and went to the bathroom, while the room suddenly fell into an awkward silent.
“You always keep that with you?” Donghae asked suspiciously, referring the pregnancy test kit, eyeing the house steward dubiously.
“I’m always ready for everything. For my masters,” Mr. Park answered coolly and Donghae decided not to poke his nose in his business.
Moments passed and Chaerin exited the bathroom, looking somewhere between anxious and excited,
“It was positive.”
--
“Are you worried about the baby?”
Chaerin broke out of her trance at Kuixian’s voice, “What?”
“The baby,” Kuixian repeated, “Are you worried?” He refers to the way the Lee heiress had been holding her stomach for a long time. Chaerin pulled out a smile and chuckled silently at the older male question.
“I don’t know. I’m happy that I have him but…it’s just…so many things are happening right now.”
“So you are worried,” Kuixian concluded.
“Yeah,” she smiled, “Maybe I am.”
Kuixian stared at the younger female. Donghae told him that Chaerin was only 21 when she got married and at the age of 23 she already hold the highest position in her family’s company. She was carrying a heavy burden on her small shoulders and Kuixian felt somewhat sorry for her.
Even right now, though she was bright and colorful outside; wearing a lavish bright red wool coat, white top, pants and heels, golden rings adorning her fingers and a pair of silver earrings, her chocolate eyes were dead and black. If despair has color, black would be it. There’s no trace of light in those orbs and Kuixian wants to know where the color had disappeared to. Does she drain out the color from her soul to please the eyes of people around her? Just like how she wears lavish clothes to hide the emptiness inside?
“Donghae told me that there’s a reason why you kept this mansion looking shabby. Is it related to your parents?” Kuixian carefully asked.
Chaerin looked up slowly and there’s that look of despair. Kuixian felt bad but he needs to know. He doesn’t know why, but he felt that he was obliged to know the story hidden.
“My parents died in this house when I was 13,” Chaerin started, voice fell to whisper as if she’s revealing a dirty, dark secret to the world, “They start a fire to kill my family. But my brother and I survived because my dad threw us out of the window.”
There was silence. A very heavy one. A very thick one; the one you could cut it with a knife. Chaerin didn’t seem to be affected that much, her façade calm and stoic as if she had been telling the same story over and over again.
“It must be hard,” Kuixian suddenly said and when Chaerin looks up, the older male was looking at her the same way Kyuhyun would. The eyes glistened with something so delicate that it made her feels vulnerable and not Lee Chaerin the heiress of Lee family, but Lee Chaerin the young girl who’s too young to know the horror and coldness the world has to give. It wasn’t sympathy nor pity, it’s pure concern and love and sorrow for her. It’s genuine and it moves her to tears.
She didn’t realize the drop of tears falling from her eyes until Kuixian reached out at the pad of his thumb flutters across her cheek, “You’re too young for this,” he says, voice as soft as the breeze, “It must be hard for you, isn’t it?”
And she cried. Salty tears burned down the path of her reddened cheeks and Kuixian finally sees the young, innocent 23-years-old lady who still has too much to learn about the world, who still needs the guidance and protection of her parents and brother, who still needs her friends to be her shoulder to cry on. He pulled her into his embrace, letting her cry her eyes out as he stroked her hair and patted her back in comforting manner.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, his own eyes closed at the sense of attachment towards the younger female.
“It’s all okay.”
“How did you know that?” Chaerin hiccupped against Kyuhyun’s chest, her small hands clutching the front of his shirt for dear life, “I-I lost them. My parents… How-How can I live and move on?”
“Because you have Sungmin hyung,” he comforted against her hair, “You have me, Donghae hyung, Hyukjae hyung and Heechul hyung. You have so many people around you that’ll help you to get through this.” Kyuhyun nuzzled the back of Chaerin’s head and patted her back softly in a slow tempo,
“We’ll get through this together.”
--
Today, it was Yunho who came to his room, but instead of bringing a tray of meal, he came with a piece of photo. He seems more approachable this time and Dongwoon found himself didn’t mind sitting face to face with him.
“I have a friend,” Yunho begins suddenly, “My best friend if you ask me. And one day he told me he was entranced with a new kid in his class. It was the first time I saw him so excited describing a person he just met but there’s this mirth in his tone and giddiness in his eyes so I thought, why not?”
“But then, when I see the two of them, there was something beautiful about them. It’s in the air around them and I soon learned it was love. I’ve never seen my friend looks so bright and happy, considering he’s always a bright child.”
A small smile tugged on Yunho’s lips, “My friend, just love this person. He loves him with all his heart, mind, body and soul. He would do anything and goes for any distance for him. He can go to the extent that he would trade his soul for his beloved’s happiness.”
Yunho looked at the photo in his hands and his eyes were warm and kind. He placed the photo on the coffee table and slides it towards Dongwoon for him to see. The younger doctor glanced at the photo and his breath hitched seeing Kuixian in the photo, smiling widely with an unknown man beside him, who’s also wearing identical grin on his face.
“I need you to tell me what happened three years ago,” Yunho looked at him beseechingly and Dongwoon managed a shaky sigh.
“Three years ago was the year when I became a doctor. It was my first automobile accident case and when I got the call the victim is very critical,” Dongwoon started, his grieving eyes downcast, “He sustained many injuries including 11 fractured vertebrae, 7 fractured ribs, lung contusions, fluid in the lungs and also a small pericardial effusion amongst many abrasions and bruising. We tried so hard to save him but to be honest, I thought he wouldn’t be able to make it since his injuries are severe.”
“And I guessed right, the impact of his chest hitting the steering wheel was very serious that it caused a congestive heart failure. We had to put him on machine to help him staying alive until we had a matched donor.”
“And who is this patient?” Yunho asked, though he probably known the answer.
Dongwoon had a momentary pause before he looked up, “The man you’re looking for.”
“Cho Kyuhyun.”
--
Roar of frustration and rage escaped Sungmin’s throat as he hauled his chair and slammed it on the table, breaking it into half. His room was messy with scattered papers, broken glasses and torn couches. Ryeowook was standing at the corner of the room, face stoic and stance straight as he watched his master threw a tantrum.
“I am so angry, Ryeowook,” Sungmin bellowed, “I. Gave. Her. A. Chance. To. Tell. The. Truth!” he slammed on the glass window with every word, “But she fucking lied to my face!!”
“You have to calm down, sir,” Ryeowook said instead, “You have to take care of your health.”
Sungmin yanked his hair in aggravation before he let his body fall onto the torn up couch, cradling his aching head in his hands. Ryeowook calmly walked towards him and handed him a bottle of pills. He took it but made no attempt to eat them. He stared at the small bottle before holding it in a tight grip.
“You know what I’m going to do, Ryeowook?”
Ryeowook said nothing. Only because he already knows.
“I’m gonna take Kyuhyun back.”
--
That night, Kuixian dreams of balmy day in June, of white fluffy clouds and blue skies, of soft breeze and chocolate ice cream. He dreams he was a high school student, sauntering down the bridge while licking up the melting ice cream.
It was then another hand reached out to him and intertwined their fingers together. He looked down at the interlocked fingers and smiled at the owner of the hand, “Hey, hyung.”
It was Donghae, looking younger than he was, smiling so wide that it was almost as blinding as the sun, “Hey, Kyu.”
His smile widened at the nickname he was so fond at, inching closer and rested his head on the older one’s shoulder, “We should go to the ocean next time.”
Donghae nuzzled his hair, “Yes, of course.”
Kuixian gasped as he woke up from his dream, his breath came out in heavy pants. It was a moment of clarity; the fog in his mind slowly dissipates by the wind. He looked around him frantically before rushing out of his room. His steps grew faster as one by one flash of images appeared in his head before he stopped in front of Donghae’s room.
He raised shaky hand, but confidently knocked on the wooden door. A pause. And he knocked again, louder, faster. A pause and his ears caught the shuffling of Donghae’s feet as he walked towards the door. His heart was pumping in his chest, clawing on his throat, begging to be let out but he hold it in, not yet.
The door was opened and there was Donghae, hair messy and eyes widened the slightest. Under the moonlight shine, Donghae looks young, younger than he was, just like in the dream.
He remembers now, he remembers everything. Not exactly everything but he remembers enough to let go of his control and grabbed Donghae by his collar and pulled him into a kiss.
a/n: /THROWS 19-PAGE LONG OF UPDATE BECAUSE I’VE BEEN A SLOTH AUTHOR/
i’m sorry for this late update, it’s just i’ve been busy with work lately (i need to save up my money for winner’s debut and big bang possible update god please papa yg ;-;) and i just want to assure all of you again that i will NEVER discontinue this fic. i’ve already plan on how the ending would be and i can tell you that there are about 7-8 chapters left ^^
all i can say is get ready for a rollercoaster ride of feels~~~ lmao
and sorry if this chapter is more on chaerin instead of kyuhae. it’s just chae is the bridge(?) between kyuhae and sungmin. so her pov is very much important :3
comments make me really, really happy <3