Twas a Slow Day at the Capilano House of Knives...
Good question, Jack. (Johnson, not Sparrow lolz) They certainly aren’t in the Capilano House of Knives. Not that everyone that’s entered the store has been a bag of dead cats or something…. A bag of dead cats? Where in the name of the Force did I come up with that? Well, I guess it’s because a bag of dead cats is a bad thing - a very bad thing. I don’t want to think about such bad things anymore. LOOK! A SEAGULL!!
Aww, some poor kid is crying his eyes out in the mall. Probably forced to go to Go Bananas… I’d cry too, kid, I’d cry too. Haha, who am I kidding? Kids love Go Bananas. He was probably forced to leave “too early” (ie: 4 hours after arriving. But it’s only 11:40 am - ON TEH DOT!) That’s right. I said “teh.” Deal, Princess.
This typing-at-work deal is going to be fun. With the exception of no one visiting me, on account of Ceilidh not working today (I don’t think), Will being en route to the Okanagan for frickin work (boo-urns) for a week (double boo-urns) and James isn’t in until 1:15pm. Sorry 13:25. What tool decided to work on the military clock? I highly dispise them.
I’m hungry. Yo quiero comida!! That means “I want food” en Español… and I do want food. I really hope that me typing this makes me look like I’m being productive to passersby. Oh how I love my extensive vocabulary that is rarely granted the chance to spread its wings and soar as it rightfully should. However, I don’t really like to use big words as they make me sound austentatious. I hope that’s how it’s spelled… or is it austentacious? Or austentaceous? Or ostentatious?? Gahhhh, I can’t spell that word! Blast and blast thrice again! *shakes fist angrily, exits Stage Left*
Schiβe! I didn’t remember to take my meds this morning…! That’s German for … things that I probably shouldn’t say on Microsoft Word© while at work. :) That’s right. ‘Tis a yellow HAPPY FACE. And I have to go to the bathroom. Not badly…maybe in an hour and 14 minutes I will, but by then James will have arrived and I’ll be free to take off to the piddly diddly department, as Georgia Nicolson oh-so-Britishly calls it. Great… now the Asian students that look like apes are walking by the store, scoffing at our selection of German knives. What? Your Asian knives are better? What do you know?? YOU LOOK LIKE A FREAKIN APE FROM THE JUNGLE BOOK, YOU TOOL!!
That was an amusing entry. I think I’ve sold 3 things since opening 2 hours ago….but then again, it IS Monday…and its not pissing rain out, thank goodness. James, are you reading this? Do you ever get this bored when you’re working alone? Clearly I do. No me gusta. (Español for “I don’t like it” wOOt.)
That’s a nice colour, I must say. Finally! People are in the store!! SCORE.
I just met a white version of James Earl Jones…a WHITE Darth Vader!!!! Swedish Meatballs. Aww, the cute guy with the pierced eyebrow left just after James Earl Whitey Jones…whatever, Will’s cooler and doesn’t need a pierced eyebrow. However, now I wonder what he’d look like with one…
We need to start cutting keys. Too many people come in asking if we cut keys and leave disappointed that we don’t. Gosh darn and blast. Not really. I do, however, really like that I made “swedish meatballs” appear in the colours of the Swedish flag. Speaking of segues, my friend Jeremy is in Sweden with many Max and Theo Birkner lookalikes. Lucky Mr Potter. Lucky people outside my store with Starbucks. James, when you get to this point in my rant, I shall go out and purchase us some London Fogs and we shall sip them in glee. Only half a frickin hour till you get here and I am no longer all aloney, on my owney. Oh that Georgia Nicolson….
I had NO idea we had a cheese-cutting wire! I didn’t know those existed. What the smack? That’s pretty much one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard in my life. That’s not true, but I really liked how fast I was able to type that sentence without looking at the keyboard or making mistakes. This last sentence, however is a much different story. No, I didn’t look at the keyboard, but there were mistakes GALORE.
I don’t understand how that Cheese Wire works, so I shall play with the Kershaw Chive that shall someday be mine. Man, I love the sound it makes when you flip it open..! Dammit, I dropped it again. I think I’ll put it away now… :( Gray-Purple Sad Face!!
I need this old train to break down, oh please just let me please break down
Oh Jack Johnson. You surfing songwriter, you. Don’t ask. Just please don’t.
The wisdom’s in the trees not the glass window…. So true, so true indeed.
I love the ukulele in the background of this CD…its so mellow. It makes me happy and not so ADD.
Some woman just gave me a scolding look for having a stand of katanas behind me. Whatevs.
Oi lienda, Bella che fa? Bonita, bonita que tal? But belle, je ne comprende pas français… so you’ll have to speak to me some other way.
YESSSS!! HOCKEY GAME TONIGHT!! And the above are the words to Belle by Jack Johnson…the whole thing, baby. The man is tri-lingual in the same way I am … certain words and phrases are known in 3 languages. Super Duper Cool!
Schnike, did I just say “super duper cool?” Apparently I did. *bites lip apologetically*
wOOt. James is here! I made him read this and he thinks I should send it to every House of Knives location, especially to Jason at Lougheed.
Ps - someone came in here the other day and asked James the name of the store down the hall from us…
“Ming Ching, Wing Wong, Ping Pong?”
“Ming Wo,” says James
“Thaaaaat’s the one."
I lost it. Funniest thing I’ve heard all day.
ps -- I'm pretty sure this contributed to the loss of my job. It got sent to that guy Jason at Lougheed and all emails get automatically sent to Head Office... the HR cow got hold of it, read it, and wasn't as amused. Others were, tho.. like James & my manager, Ricky. They LOVED it.