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So. My grandma just keeps getting worse. I'm not sure how I feel. I've never had to deal with death before. I mean, people I know have died, but no one that I actually knew. If that makes any sense at all. So I'm completely a mess.. I don't want to go to school, I don't want to go to work. I don't want to be at home. I really have no idea what I

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[__midnightsun]

I want to be 15 again. When i took advantage of everything. My biggest worries were so small and stupid. If only i could do it all over again, i could enjoy life so much more by realizing that these problems are nothing compared to the problems i'll have when i'm 20.
If i've learned anything, its that its very rare to actually have friend friends. especially as you get older. maybe its that some people just don't grow up, and are still immature, i don't know. there are only 2 people i can call my actual friends. and one of them i didn't speak to for like 2 years, and i'm friends with her over the girl thats been my best friend for 18 years.

I really hope your grandma gets better. I'd had to see you have to go through that. I remember when i was living with my step-mom, i swear a person in her family died every other week and we had to do funerals all the time. but the worst was when my grandpa died in 93. Its just so sad that these people that were there your entire life just aren't anymore.
I love you. If you ever want to talk, i'll be here darling.