(no subject)
You ever just feel like you've completely run out of answers for everyones' questions to EVERYTHING?
Like you have NOTHING else to say that could possibly offer anything positive to the situation?
I am at a total loss for words.
Tonight I stumbled over excuses for a 1/2 hour and it got me nowhere, except realizing that I have NO IDEA what I'm doing. I don't know where I'm going, who I'm going there with, how I'm getting there.. Nothing. I don't know. But I DO know that I need to stop thinking so much.
I cannot handle EVERYTHING, eventhough I tell myself and the entire rest of the world that I can. I can't. And that's okay. I need to learn how to deal with the fact that I don't HAVE to have all this unneccesary responsibility. I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself to live up to this idea that I think other people want me to be. I need to give up control and just let God take it all. Cause He can actually handle it. A LOT better than I can I'm sure.
I can't commit to anything or anyone. I just can't. Not in the past year, not now, probably not for awhile. I don't know why. I can't even come up with halfway decent reasons as to why I'm like this, I just am. I'm learning, I'm growing, I'm TRYING, but I don't see the need for me to pull other people into this personal struggle. Maybe that's why as SOON as someone tries to get close, I run. I'm not ready to handle it yet. No one else needs to be part of this rollercoaster that is my 'love life'. That's ridiculous. No one needs it.
Rob reminded me tonight that not everything goes according to plan. There are bumps in the road and it's a learning and growing process. Yeah, it's fun sometimes. But it also absolutely sucks a lot of the time. It's life. I should be thankful for what I have and for what I am learning eventhough sometimes I get SO frustrated with trying to make the right decision. I just need to remember to let the people I love actually KNOW that I love them, and also to just give up control and let it be. Just like the Beatles said. See? And I don't even like The Beatles that much. But it's true. Just let it be.
Psalm 33:4
For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.
See? Don't worry. Let Him handle it.
Why can't I remember this ALL the time instead of just when I'm about to completely lose it? :)
Like you have NOTHING else to say that could possibly offer anything positive to the situation?
I am at a total loss for words.
Tonight I stumbled over excuses for a 1/2 hour and it got me nowhere, except realizing that I have NO IDEA what I'm doing. I don't know where I'm going, who I'm going there with, how I'm getting there.. Nothing. I don't know. But I DO know that I need to stop thinking so much.
I cannot handle EVERYTHING, eventhough I tell myself and the entire rest of the world that I can. I can't. And that's okay. I need to learn how to deal with the fact that I don't HAVE to have all this unneccesary responsibility. I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself to live up to this idea that I think other people want me to be. I need to give up control and just let God take it all. Cause He can actually handle it. A LOT better than I can I'm sure.
I can't commit to anything or anyone. I just can't. Not in the past year, not now, probably not for awhile. I don't know why. I can't even come up with halfway decent reasons as to why I'm like this, I just am. I'm learning, I'm growing, I'm TRYING, but I don't see the need for me to pull other people into this personal struggle. Maybe that's why as SOON as someone tries to get close, I run. I'm not ready to handle it yet. No one else needs to be part of this rollercoaster that is my 'love life'. That's ridiculous. No one needs it.
Rob reminded me tonight that not everything goes according to plan. There are bumps in the road and it's a learning and growing process. Yeah, it's fun sometimes. But it also absolutely sucks a lot of the time. It's life. I should be thankful for what I have and for what I am learning eventhough sometimes I get SO frustrated with trying to make the right decision. I just need to remember to let the people I love actually KNOW that I love them, and also to just give up control and let it be. Just like the Beatles said. See? And I don't even like The Beatles that much. But it's true. Just let it be.
Psalm 33:4
For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.
See? Don't worry. Let Him handle it.
Why can't I remember this ALL the time instead of just when I'm about to completely lose it? :)