I dont wanna leave
So Im sittin here in California alone in my boys house .... I've done way too much thinking out here but i needed it desperately! I think I am more confused now than I have ever been. HA HA I've gotten more ass down here than I have all last year ...ha ha I just thought I would throw that in my boy has been takin care of me! Well onto better things .... I've made some decisions while I've been out here .... Im done with all the bullshit in good ole muskegon! Being out here and hanging out with my "Friend with Benefits" has made me realize alot of shit ..... I've been holdin onto something that has been tearin me apart for the last 7 years and I think Im finally ready to let go! I dont want anything to do with anyone in Skeetown. As far as the guy here .... he has really gotten to me and I dunno what im doing .... but its been a long time since I've had a guy that I truly feel comfortable with! He makes me laugh, he always tells me how good I look and I love it cause I need it .... I always need reinforcement! Its the wierdest thing we act like we've been dating for months and its so cute but this is the first time we've ever been together?? I dont get it either we just click ya know and its wierd how good it feels ... I've been so lonely for so long that now that I've been here it just feels right being with him. I dont know what Im going to do when I'm home cause I feel like I need him! I feel so sad right now cause I know I have to leave him soon. Im so going to have the water works going when I get to the airport. Everything I have ever wanted in a guy he has .... and I know that we could be good for eachother but I dont know what to do! I wanna listen to my heart but everything is going so fast but Im sick of being careful. What do I do??? He took me mini golfin today I so wooped his ass the first two games it was so cute ... tomorrow we're off to Arizona I can't wait ...
* B -OUT*