sitting in my room with chees
Well...Im not too happy right now...I just found out that a friend of mines mom flipped out on her and hit her and a lot of other bullshit and i really want to see andrew.. yea im havin an emo moment so kiss my ass.. anyway,on to other subjects..
SO...I was sitting in my room today and I thought to myself...
"self... why is it that even when we know we arent going to lose someone that we love...we still always have that fear?"
and I responded: "It all goes back to the not wanting to be alone thing" (if you dont know what myself and I are talking about please refer to an earlier entry...youll know it when you see it"
"Well yeah, but still...I mean its like...I talk to Andrew, and I know he loves me, and I know he's not going anywhere, but I still have the fear in the back of my thoughts that something is going to happen and he's going to walk away again."
"You just have security issues... that's all. Dont worry about it. It's nothing you wont get over in time."
"But what if I don't? And what if the fact that I DO have security issues causes him to get irritated and finally decide he doesnt want to deal with it anymore...and he just says its over?? what then?"
"you know he's not going to do that. He's changed...he's not the stupid immature little boy he was three years ago. I dont know what happened but he grew up and everything's differentnow."
"I know things are different now, or at least I know he is. But what if I'm not? What if I didnt change or grow up enough and I end up annoying him??"
so then i just begin to get on my own nerves and so I tell myself to shut up and quit being such a baby....and i leave it at that
SO...I was sitting in my room today and I thought to myself...
"self... why is it that even when we know we arent going to lose someone that we love...we still always have that fear?"
and I responded: "It all goes back to the not wanting to be alone thing" (if you dont know what myself and I are talking about please refer to an earlier entry...youll know it when you see it"
"Well yeah, but still...I mean its like...I talk to Andrew, and I know he loves me, and I know he's not going anywhere, but I still have the fear in the back of my thoughts that something is going to happen and he's going to walk away again."
"You just have security issues... that's all. Dont worry about it. It's nothing you wont get over in time."
"But what if I don't? And what if the fact that I DO have security issues causes him to get irritated and finally decide he doesnt want to deal with it anymore...and he just says its over?? what then?"
"you know he's not going to do that. He's changed...he's not the stupid immature little boy he was three years ago. I dont know what happened but he grew up and everything's differentnow."
"I know things are different now, or at least I know he is. But what if I'm not? What if I didnt change or grow up enough and I end up annoying him??"
so then i just begin to get on my own nerves and so I tell myself to shut up and quit being such a baby....and i leave it at that