feeling like a burn
i've updated too many times today already
i'm about to go to bed
but i felt compelled and led by a spirit (a holy one)
and a charge has been placed on my heart
a peace filled my soul
it's going to work out for me
and life will not be conventional for me,
however, unconventional does not equate to unfulfilled, unhappy, or a few other uns- that i do not feel the need to share currently
i've had the unshakeable vision of my life as a parent
my pregnancies (i will have a few children) will all be unplanned
and the first one will happen by my twenty-fourth birthday
the last by my thiry-fifth
that thought frightens me, but it is, as i previously mentioned
unshakeable, immovable, like a mountain...placed in my line of cite
(gotta have faith, the size of a mustard seed)
is that all it really takes?
i'm wondering...
i'm drifting...
i'm praying...
i'm choking...
drowning, living, loving
i'm imagining what it would be like to date myself
to be in love with myself
what about myself would irk me
and i'm doing my best not to do the things that would make me what to break up with me
whatever works.... is what i always find myself saying
man....marijuana would be beautiful for my spirit right now
simply marvelous
lauren is [not] dead
she is very much alive
very much afraid
very much a human
(although not intentionally)
i'm feeling like i'm sounding like a very good, "close" friend of mine
but that's not a bad thing because i'm still being true to who i am
pigments of you have drifted into and shine through me
hopefully that's the point of this whole situation
(i feel like it is)
i'm about to go to bed
but i felt compelled and led by a spirit (a holy one)
and a charge has been placed on my heart
a peace filled my soul
it's going to work out for me
and life will not be conventional for me,
however, unconventional does not equate to unfulfilled, unhappy, or a few other uns- that i do not feel the need to share currently
i've had the unshakeable vision of my life as a parent
my pregnancies (i will have a few children) will all be unplanned
and the first one will happen by my twenty-fourth birthday
the last by my thiry-fifth
that thought frightens me, but it is, as i previously mentioned
unshakeable, immovable, like a mountain...placed in my line of cite
(gotta have faith, the size of a mustard seed)
is that all it really takes?
i'm wondering...
i'm drifting...
i'm praying...
i'm choking...
drowning, living, loving
i'm imagining what it would be like to date myself
to be in love with myself
what about myself would irk me
and i'm doing my best not to do the things that would make me what to break up with me
whatever works.... is what i always find myself saying
man....marijuana would be beautiful for my spirit right now
simply marvelous
lauren is [not] dead
she is very much alive
very much afraid
very much a human
(although not intentionally)
i'm feeling like i'm sounding like a very good, "close" friend of mine
but that's not a bad thing because i'm still being true to who i am
pigments of you have drifted into and shine through me
hopefully that's the point of this whole situation
(i feel like it is)