Indulgence [Chapter 3]
a/n: as promised, more kyuhyun and eeteuk in this chapter. uhm. i will start explaining everything (like.. relationships.. hae's mom... etc. etc.) in the next chapters. i just wanted the story to move along first. xD
--
There are several things, Donghae thinks, that are making him uncomfortable at the moment: the hardwood floor pressing harshly against his tailbone, his arms twisted awkwardly and painfully behind him, the cold strawberry milk seeping through his pajama bottoms-
All in all, he thinks it’s just… a very odd situation.
He thinks it’s actually even more uncomfortable, if the wildly beating of his heart didn’t tell him so, with the realization that his best friend’s mouth was on his, and that he could kind of taste that weird concoction they had called “post-dinner” dinner mixed with the aftertaste of milk.
He’s momentarily paralyzed; eyes are wide open as he tries to process the situation, and the fact that Hyukjae’s mouth really tasted weird.
“Uhm…” Donghae mutters as soon as Hyukjae pulls away, after seconds of that weird connecting of mouths. “What… was that?” He peers down at the slightly older male, finding it slightly harder to breathe in their close proximity.
“N-nothing! I-I’m just… gonna go. To bed. Uhm. Yeah.” Hyukjae turns his head and avoids Donghae’s eyes, but makes no move to move away from Donghae’s personal space. Donghae wriggles slightly from under the other’s palms, which were pressing painfully against his thighs. The strawberry milk soaking his skin through the material of his pants, he laments, isn’t making anything better.
“Uhm…” Donghae tries again, lifting his body as much as he can to prevent the irritating wetness from crawling further up his leg. “You…” He nods his head towards Hyukjae’s hands. “My leg.”
“Oh! Right! I’m sorry!” Hyukjae sputters before he scrambles off from Donghae’s lap, and Donghae turns his head to watch his roommate stumble towards the wrong bedroom.
“Hyukka,” Donghae calls out, standing up and grimacing at the sticky wetness clinging onto his leg. “That’s my room.” Hyukjae chuckles nervously and staggers back out.
--
Hyukjae whines as he bangs his head against his pillow repeatedly, his knees tucked under his chest. He rolls over onto his back and covers his face with his hands, kicking his legs out in frustration.
“Whyyyyyyyyyy?!?!” he moans, clutching a pillow to his chest. “Idiot. Moron. Retard. Assface-bestfriendbestfriend. Best friend!” He whines into his pillow and tries to erase the memory of the stupid stunt he had pulled earlier.
--
Donghae sits in a new pair of (dry) pants, huddling up against the corner of his bed. He pulls his knees towards his chest and rests his forehead atop it. His fingers clutch tightly at his hair.
“Why me?” he half-whispers, and wills himself to believe that he really didn’t feel anything for his best friend.
--
“Are you ready?” Eeteuk prompts him as he fixes his necktie. Kyuhyun smiles at his manager and just nods, bending forward to closer inspect his appearance from the mirror.
“It’s just a small performance,” Kyuhyun says after a while, noticing that Eeteuk was still eyeing him worriedly. “I sing one song, and I’m off the stage in about four minutes.” Eeteuk doesn’t look satisfied with Kyuhyun’s reassurance, biting his lips and crossing his arms.
“But-“ Eeteuk starts, but Kyuhyun waves a hand to silence him.
“I’ll be fine, and stop worrying about me. You know I’ve practiced this song numerous times- I even hum it in my sleep.” Kyuhyun grins and reaches over to take his manager’s hand in his, and gives it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll be fine. I’ll blow the audience away and they’ll beg for an encore.” He pauses as a smirk tugs at his lips. “But of course, they won’t be getting it because we’d be halfway to the bar to celebrate.”
Eeteuk laughs and pats Kyuhyun’s shoulder blade. “Okay, fine, I believe you. Now go and kick some ass.” He pushes him towards the door, but gets taken aback when Kyuhyun suddenly turns and their bodies collide. Kyuhyun has to bend down as he wraps his arms tightly around Eeteuk’s torso. Eeteuk notices how Kyuhyun, despite his words from earlier, trembles in his arms.
“Kyuhyun?” Eeteuk tentatively asks, lightly placing his hands across Kyuhyun’s shoulder.
“Just…” Kyuhyun says quietly, his voice muffled against Eeteuk’s chest. “Wish me luck?” Eeteuk pats his head affectionately.
“Good luck,” he whispers into Kyuhyun’s hair moments later.
--
If Eeteuk has to count how many times he’d watched Kyuhyun sing, he can give an exact, multi-digit number. But if Eeteuk has to count how many times he’d watched, heard, felt Kyuhyun sing, he can say for sure that it is definitely from the performance from that night.
Eeteuk is also certain that he had memorized the way Kyuhyun sings. He knew how Kyuhyun’s hand would rest on the flat of his stomach as soon as he starts singing; how his hand would then rise up to chest level as he tries to put more emotion into his voice, his fingers clenching together with only his index finger pointing up and outwards; how he’d turn his head to the side as he attempts to hit a higher note, his brows knitting and un-knitting, lips and fingers trembling, eyes closed.
That night, however, Eeteuk is surprised at the different performance Kyuhyun gave.
--
You ask me, 'are you still alone?'
And I just laughed
I am loving someone-
I have someone to love…
Kyuhyun stands at the middle of the stage, a soft, blue-tinged yellow light illuminating his features. He places his hand atop is stomach, as he is so used to doing, but he knows something is different. He can’t-
That someone, only I can see [her]
[She] is only visible to my eyes
I Will keep [her] locked in my lips forever
Only the tears that fill my eyes know-
He brings his hand up to his chest, and feels a button. His fingers close tightly around it, clutching his shirt along with it. His hold is firm around the microphone in his other hand. He looks out into the crowd, and just sees nameless faces, a blur of people he does not recognize. He hears cheers and chants, yet they sound like noise to him. His eyes spot out one figure standing off to the side, a small, tight-lipped smile on the shadowed face.
Can’t you see
I am not alone
So don't worry about me so much.
I'll introduce [her] to you someday
Can you hear my tears filled up in my eyes say?-
His head is tilted upwards this time; eyes closed tightly, away from the crowd, the unknown faces. He sings the last lines of his song, the audience silent in anticipation. His hand falls from his chest and hangs limply by his side, while only his thumb and forefinger holds the microphone in his other hand. He finally lowers his head again, locks gazes with the familiar figure from before. He hears the crowd erupt as tears fall from his eyes.
-That person is you.
Eeteuk moves wordlessly from his spot on the side and makes his way backstage.
--
“Kyuhyun’s performance was great, wasn’t it?” Hyukjae says loudly to Donghae, yelling over the cheers. Donghae doesn’t seem to notice him and keeps staring forward. Hyukjae nudges him to get his attention. “Donghae.”
“Oh, what?” Donghae replies, snapping out of his dazed state.
“I said, wasn’t Kyuhyun’s performance great? I mean, he even let out some tears for effect.” Hyukjae sighs when he finds Donghae spacing out again. “Never mind,” he says quietly.
“What?” Donghae asks again, jumping slightly as he breaks from his trance for the second time. Hyukjae chews on the inside of his cheek and shakes his head.
“Let’s go,” he says, disheartened, as he lightly pulls Donghae up by his arm. His pulse jumps slightly when Donghae flinches from his touch, but tries not to show his shock. “We… we have an early day again tomorrow at the Academy. I… I’m sure Kyuhyun and Eeteuk-hyung won’t have time to entertain us tonight, anyway.”
Donghae hardly throws him a glance as he nods his head quickly and makes his way through the crowd.
--
Kyuhyun holds an unopened can of beer in his hand, slouching against the backseat of the company van. He fingers the rim of the aluminum but doesn’t make a move to pop it open.
“What are you thinking about?” The door of the van slides closed as Eeteuk crouches in. “We’re supposed to be celebrating your successful performance and you don’t seem too thrilled right now.” Kyuhyun feels the seat beside him dip when Eeteuk plops down next to him. “What’s wrong?”
Kyuhyun smiles weakly and continues to turn the can in his hand. “Nothing.” Eeteuk gives him a “don’t-give-me-that-bullshit” look.
“You’re not drinking,” Eeteuk states, tapping the cold can. “Usually you’d take every chance I give you to drink.” Kyuhyun sighs and sets the drink on a nearby cup holder.
“I’m just thinking,” Kyuhyun admits, folding his arms across his chest as he leans his head back against the seat.
“No shit,” his manager deadpans, leaning back as well. Kyuhyun quietly chuckles with his eyes closed.
“Hyung,” he says after a while. He hears a hum of acknowledgement from Eeteuk. “What if…” He pauses, trying to think of how to string his words together. He feels Eeteuk stir from beside him. “What… did you think of my performance… from tonight?” Kyuhyun waits anxiously for an answer, but dares not to open his eyes.
Eeteuk doesn’t reply for seemingly a long while, and Kyuhyun realizes that his heartbeat might be pounding loudly and audibly. His breath, however, stops abruptly when he feels a mouth over his own, lips pressing against his softly and hesitantly. Kyuhyun keeps his lids screwed shut, afraid to open them and risk it all being just a dream. He doesn’t kiss him back, or, rather, doesn’t get a chance to when Eeteuk pulls away. He finally wills his eyes open and finds Eeteuk staring down at him, his face still inches from his own and flushing profusely.
“Say… something,” Eeteuk breathes out, letting out a small, nervous chuckle. “Don’t do this to me now.” Kyuhyun feels his face heat up and hesitation is on his tongue.
“What if… what if the song I sang wasn’t meant for you?” Kyuhyun bites on his lips to keep them from moving, but his eyes emit a mischievous glint that gives him away completely. Eeteuk looks scandalized but Kyuhyun erases all doubt by pulling Eeteuk forward by the back of his neck and kissing him again.
--
“Hyung, I’m serious.”
“Hmm?”
“What if the song really wasn’t meant for you?”
“… Shut up. Your gaze was glued onto me. You could’ve been undressing me with your eyes.”
“Was not!”
“Mhm. You’re so sappy. Confessing through a love song and crying during it.”
“…”
Eeteuk chuckles. “I love you too, Kyuhyun.”
--
** the song Kyuhyun sing's is "I have a Lover", sung originally by Lee Eun Mi (i think..). still one of my favorite songs and if you remember, KRY + donghae sang it as well. :D
as for the [she] [her] parts, it could also be [him][his] because i don't think korean is gender-specific at instances like this. so. yeah. i used [she] [her] because it fits better in context. i mean. if he's performing, he should be singing to a "she", right? XDDDDD**
i think i will be alternating between donghae/eunhyuk and kyuhyun/eeteuk every chapter. i mean. there'll be important bits of both but the main focus will be on one pairing. maybe. xD
:D