Speechless (The ABC Outrage Version)
For those who don't know, OLTL's Kyle and Fish pairing was brutally axed last week. The ensuing PR nightmare has been unlike anything I've witnessed before in over 20 years of soap viewing.
After several days of shellshock, I was struck with Gaga-fueled inspiration over the weekend. Here is the result (to be sung to the tune of Lady Gaga's Speechless):
Speechless
(The ABC Outrage Version)
How?
Haaaa-oooo-wow?
H-ooow?
I can’t believe what you did to Kish
Last week I heard the news
I threw my hands up
Daytime, I give up, I give up
I can't believe how you treated them
With your faux “mainstream” outcry
You crushed the fans’ dreams with your cruel schemes
And agenda-driven lies
Could you mend the trust you broke?
Or do you think equality’s a joke?
I'll never care again
One Life, why you so clueless?
You've left me speechless, so speechless
And I'll never watch again,
Daytime, why you so spineless?
You've left me speechless, so speechless
I can't believe how you pulled the plug
With no word to Brett or Scott
They had to find out
From secondhand tweets, from fan tweets
I can't believe how you looked at us
Like the dirt beneath your feet
We’re gonna ditch you and after we’re through
There'll be no fans left to cheat
And I know that it's complicated
But right now I’m just devastated
Way to blow the chance
To win back the faith
Of all your outraged fans
I'll never care again
One Life, why you so tactless?
You've left me speechless, so speechless
And I'll never watch again,
Daytime, why you so pointless?
You've left me speechless, so speechless
How?
Haaaa-oooo-wow?
H-ooow?
How?
Haaaa-oooo-wow?
H-ooow?
And after all the twists and turns you’ve put me through
Would I give it all up?
Could I wash my hands of you?
And after all the ups and downs Kish have been through
Would I give it all up?
Could I give it all up?
Yes! I promise, Show, to you...
That I'll never care again
And I'll never watch again
Always think that you were wrong
Won't even follow along
I'll never watch again
So speechless
You left me speechless, so speechless
Will you ever rise again?
One Life, why you so hopeless?
You've left me speechless, so speechless
So many fans will flee
'Cause you chose hate and bigotry
Why you so cancelled? Oh oh oh
Note: Since the firing of BC/SE and the decision to cut Kish have turned into a clusterfuck of epic proportions, it's essentially impossible to discern who decided what and when. Obviously some artistic license is taken. For the purposes of this project, OLTL and ABC Daytime share blame and were referred to somewhat interchangeably. I opted not to single out specific individuals, although the idea was damn tempting. Obviously that last line is just bitter wishful thinking on my part...at least for now.
I wish that I had some musical talent so that I could upload a demo of this to YouTube. It was fun and cathartic. (Much easier to focus on rhyme and metre for a few hours than ponder what it will be like to come home without hope of new Kish scenes to watch. *whimpers*)
If you too are outraged by ABC's treatment of Kish and their fans, find out how to get involved here!
After several days of shellshock, I was struck with Gaga-fueled inspiration over the weekend. Here is the result (to be sung to the tune of Lady Gaga's Speechless):
Speechless
(The ABC Outrage Version)
How?
Haaaa-oooo-wow?
H-ooow?
I can’t believe what you did to Kish
Last week I heard the news
I threw my hands up
Daytime, I give up, I give up
I can't believe how you treated them
With your faux “mainstream” outcry
You crushed the fans’ dreams with your cruel schemes
And agenda-driven lies
Could you mend the trust you broke?
Or do you think equality’s a joke?
I'll never care again
One Life, why you so clueless?
You've left me speechless, so speechless
And I'll never watch again,
Daytime, why you so spineless?
You've left me speechless, so speechless
I can't believe how you pulled the plug
With no word to Brett or Scott
They had to find out
From secondhand tweets, from fan tweets
I can't believe how you looked at us
Like the dirt beneath your feet
We’re gonna ditch you and after we’re through
There'll be no fans left to cheat
And I know that it's complicated
But right now I’m just devastated
Way to blow the chance
To win back the faith
Of all your outraged fans
I'll never care again
One Life, why you so tactless?
You've left me speechless, so speechless
And I'll never watch again,
Daytime, why you so pointless?
You've left me speechless, so speechless
How?
Haaaa-oooo-wow?
H-ooow?
How?
Haaaa-oooo-wow?
H-ooow?
And after all the twists and turns you’ve put me through
Would I give it all up?
Could I wash my hands of you?
And after all the ups and downs Kish have been through
Would I give it all up?
Could I give it all up?
Yes! I promise, Show, to you...
That I'll never care again
And I'll never watch again
Always think that you were wrong
Won't even follow along
I'll never watch again
So speechless
You left me speechless, so speechless
Will you ever rise again?
One Life, why you so hopeless?
You've left me speechless, so speechless
So many fans will flee
'Cause you chose hate and bigotry
Why you so cancelled? Oh oh oh
Note: Since the firing of BC/SE and the decision to cut Kish have turned into a clusterfuck of epic proportions, it's essentially impossible to discern who decided what and when. Obviously some artistic license is taken. For the purposes of this project, OLTL and ABC Daytime share blame and were referred to somewhat interchangeably. I opted not to single out specific individuals, although the idea was damn tempting. Obviously that last line is just bitter wishful thinking on my part...at least for now.
I wish that I had some musical talent so that I could upload a demo of this to YouTube. It was fun and cathartic. (Much easier to focus on rhyme and metre for a few hours than ponder what it will be like to come home without hope of new Kish scenes to watch. *whimpers*)
If you too are outraged by ABC's treatment of Kish and their fans, find out how to get involved here!