illusions, delusions
What's with me nowadays? Why am I so unhappy towards him? I finally came to the conclusion yesterday, as to why I am forever giving him attitude and all that nonsense. That's because, I am truly disappointed in him. In fact, I don't know when it first started. But it seems that every little thing he didn't do, i just get disappointed. And it sort of accumulates on and on and on, until now it's like, almost a big big thing already.
Just by yesterday. He was working in Outram, and he knew I was at City Hall. He could have offered to come and send me home after his work, since I will still be around in City Hall. Let's see. He ended at 9.30pm, while I ended at 8+. But after hanging around so long in City Hall, I only went home at 10.30pm. All the while, I kind of expected him to call and say he will come down and accompany me back, now being the 7th month and late. But he never did. I don't know why. That in itself really disappointed me a whole lot. It's as if I am not important for him to travel down to ensure my safety. Am I ever important in his eyes?
It's true that I don't want to have expectations. It's true I didn't want to expect much in a relationship. But that, I guess was the beginning. When we were still relatively a new couple, relatively unknown to each other. That's why at that time I didn't expect much. But now everything is different, isn't it? I thought he will probably grow to care more about me as time goes by. Be more attentive towards me. Instead he's starting to take me for granted. Like no matter how badly he treats me, he knows I will be there. What the?!
Msybe I've changed. Became more demanding? Well, I just thought that was what a bf should do. Especially a bf who keeps saying that he can't bear to lose me and all that crap. He's not showing how much he treasures me though. It's like I can disappear for one day and he probably won't think there's anything wrong.
I shall give myself some time to think about this. And maybe give us a chance. Until the end of 6 months. I guess by 6 months I will be able to see how much I mean to him. Or how much he means to me. Well, so far he hasn't done anything that can make me swoon and go ga-ga over him. I don't expect in the near future too.
I just hope he doesn't disappoint me further.
ilusion and her disillusions as usual
Just by yesterday. He was working in Outram, and he knew I was at City Hall. He could have offered to come and send me home after his work, since I will still be around in City Hall. Let's see. He ended at 9.30pm, while I ended at 8+. But after hanging around so long in City Hall, I only went home at 10.30pm. All the while, I kind of expected him to call and say he will come down and accompany me back, now being the 7th month and late. But he never did. I don't know why. That in itself really disappointed me a whole lot. It's as if I am not important for him to travel down to ensure my safety. Am I ever important in his eyes?
It's true that I don't want to have expectations. It's true I didn't want to expect much in a relationship. But that, I guess was the beginning. When we were still relatively a new couple, relatively unknown to each other. That's why at that time I didn't expect much. But now everything is different, isn't it? I thought he will probably grow to care more about me as time goes by. Be more attentive towards me. Instead he's starting to take me for granted. Like no matter how badly he treats me, he knows I will be there. What the?!
Msybe I've changed. Became more demanding? Well, I just thought that was what a bf should do. Especially a bf who keeps saying that he can't bear to lose me and all that crap. He's not showing how much he treasures me though. It's like I can disappear for one day and he probably won't think there's anything wrong.
I shall give myself some time to think about this. And maybe give us a chance. Until the end of 6 months. I guess by 6 months I will be able to see how much I mean to him. Or how much he means to me. Well, so far he hasn't done anything that can make me swoon and go ga-ga over him. I don't expect in the near future too.
I just hope he doesn't disappoint me further.
ilusion and her disillusions as usual