(no subject)
so. things are weird.
sometimes i feel like i don't know who i am anymore.
i'm almost glad about what's happened in my life.
it's giving me time to find myself and get my priorities in order.
i am learning everyday more and more that i am far from perfect.
but i think i'm okay with that.
i know i have to great friends that i can confide in.
tay and tara are probably the two girls that i don't argue with.
that i feel like i can trust.
josh. he is confusing.
i mean. one night he wants to get my ass beat. he's at a show with her. hugging and kissing her.
but the very next day, he is begging for me to be with him.
i can't do it. i can't be involved in all that dramatic bullshit.
it's ridiculous.
i need to be myself.
i need to find someone that i get along with.
someone that i can be crazy with.
i need someone that i have absolute passion with.
that will never direspect me. hurt me. always remain faithful.
i need someone that isn't afraid to say sorry or admit when they're wrong.
i need someone that will love me as much as i live.
i need someone that will realize how much they love me now, instead of later when they've screwed up.
that may not happen right away. it may take years.
i'm okay with that.
all i know is right now. i'm happy with my friends.
i'm happy doing the things i used to do. making stupid videos. acting like a complete fool.
dancing when there's no music.
singing when there's tons of people around.. or when there's no one around at all.
getting excited over the tiniest things, because they aren't that important but they're what make life worth while.
i can for once say.. i'm okay.
tay. tara. i love you guys.
you are the best.
our little talks and laughs mean the most to me.
you guys have been there for me when i needed you the most.
you've been there in one of the most trying times in my life.
you've never judged.
you guys are the bestestestestest.
thank you so much.
this weekend. shall be good times.