still at home, still bored, still writing
okay so im still at home and its eight o seven, god im such a loser. im trying so hard not to feel sorry for myself but whats the point someone has to feel sorry for me. im the biggest liar i know, i lie to everyone even justin, and i should feel bad for it but for some weird reason i dont, munda says its because i dont have a conscience, maybe hes right. shit im only seventeen and i should be happy i mean at least im not pregnant or getting beat or molested or anything. god i am fucked up. im thinking about how i always tell my parents when im eighteen im getting the fuck out but where would i go, i have no job and i still havent got my license due to reasons that arent my fault, entirely. i miss justin, actually what i really miss is having friends, having someone to hang out with, i used to not be able to decide who i wanted to hang out with, now i dont have a selection. i dont even have any close friends here. i have two really close friends and thats elizabeth and allin, both who live hours away. elizabeth lives in stone mountain and allin lives in alabama, i live in dawsonville, the very definition of a poisioned brain. justin says its the radiation or whatevers in the water, i say people are stupid no matter where you go. live life to the fullest right, but life doesnt get full here, life doesnt even get the piss-tasting backwash in the bottom of the bottle. i need something to do thats what it is i need something to occupy my time, but what, what could i do, seriously im so lazy. put i guess thats just one traits that comes with being a teenager, actually i know thats one of the traits that comes with being a teenager. say its the drugs, i say its just me, drugs arent the cause, drugs are just the effect. im gonna write a book thats what im going to do write a book, i like writing and that could definitely occupy my time. but that might getme depressed down in the depths of despair, as allin and john like to say, and myself obviously. ive been calling justin every five minutes, god ive become one of those girls i hate, i dont even fell bitchy anymore.