(no subject)
I feel like whenever I get super excited on something about to happen and post about it here or talk to other people about it something goes terribly wrong and it doesn't happen. Sort of like I jinxed myself by bringing it up. It's weird, but I've noticed every time I talk to someone about a possible relationship or event coming up it just blows up in my face. Even with the past few times I have told myself, "Allix, whatever you do, DO NOT tell anyone this is happening. It will just end up like last time." and then I go blabbing because I NEED someone to give me advice or help me see if I'm being a creep or not.
Then comes paranoia and I begin to think the person I confided in told the person what I had been telling them and makes it look like I'm a weirdo or something and they stop all communication with me. Or maybe some sort of force wants so badly for this not to happen, and wants me to be completely miserable, whatever force that may be.
So I've stopped confiding in people. It's one of the reasons I've stopped writing in this journal. I sit in my room by myself with my thoughts trying to give myself advice.
Then comes paranoia and I begin to think the person I confided in told the person what I had been telling them and makes it look like I'm a weirdo or something and they stop all communication with me. Or maybe some sort of force wants so badly for this not to happen, and wants me to be completely miserable, whatever force that may be.
So I've stopped confiding in people. It's one of the reasons I've stopped writing in this journal. I sit in my room by myself with my thoughts trying to give myself advice.